Great Sex Secret (20 page)

98
In the middle of a basic thrust
: Eichel, 165–166.

99
You realize that you can
: ibid., 168.

100
In addition, the CAT positions
: ibid., 113.

100
too difficult, too complicated
: Taylor, 67–68.

102
Lou Paget has this advice
: Paget, 207.

102
“the myth of the mutual orgasm”
: Kaplan, Helen Singer.
The New Sex Therapy
. New York, New York: Brunner/Masel, 1981.

102
“striving to synchronize orgasms
: Stefan Betchell et al.
Sex: A Man’s Guide
. New York, New York: Berkley Books, 1998.

E n d n o t e s

2 0 9

103
last bite at exactly the same
: Michael Castleman.

Sexual Solutions
. New York, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1989.

103
“I wouldn’t want to orgasm”
: http://www.passion-atecommitment.com/faqs/simultaneous.htm#

103
“We have no idea.”
: Taylor and Sharkey, 61.

Chapter 6: Three Approaches to Mutual Satisfaction 108
new protocol for making love
: D’Emilio, 337.

109
“Is there anything on this earth”
: Rhodes, 172.

110
full potential for oral sex
: Kerner, Ian.
She Comes
First: A Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
, New York, New York: Harper Collins, 2004.

112
One angry guy quoted
: Boston Women’s Health Book Collective, 32.

113
“Most men feel that”
: Lowen, Alexander.
Love and
Orgasm
. New York, New York: Macmillan, 1995.

113
“I have trouble asking”
: Boston Women’s Health Book Collective, 38.

115
“He lost himself to the hilt”
: Updike, John, Couples.

New York, New York: Knopf, 1968, 205.

115
“I was not ever having any”
: Hite, 291.

117
“In my view, all the intricacies”
: Angier, 69.

117
“they take responsibility for their pleasure”
: Angier, 70.

120
cartoon picked up on this feeling
: Smaller, B. Cartoon:

“I feel we haven’t moved beyond parallel play.”
The
New Yorker
, May 24, 1999.

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T h e G r e a t S e x S e c r e t
120
Judith Silverstein mentioned this technique
: Silverstein, 66-69.

120
women who contributed to The Hite Report
: Hite, 293–299.

121
Only one book in the vast sex literature
: Dodson, 2–3.

124
“The art of sex”
: Paul.
11 Minutes
. New York, New York: Harper Collins, 2004, 190.

129
researchers haven’t been asking
: Lloyd, 25–26.

Chapter 7: What’s Technique Got to Do with It?

135
Recent accounts of contemporary teenagers
: Denizet-Lewis, Benoit. “Friends, Friends with Benefits and the Benefits of the Local Mall.”
New York Times Magazine
, May 30, 2004, 30–58; Flanagan, Caitlin, “Are You There God? It’s Me, Monica.”
The Atlantic
Monthly
, January/February 2006, 167–182.

136
“The problem with Americans”
: Jong, Erica. “The ZIPless Fallacy,”
Newsweek
, June 30, 2003, 48.

138
“The key to a great sex life”
: Conrad and Milburn, 33.

139
“OCEAN” personality dimensions
: Wiggins, J.S.

The Five-Factor Model of Personality: Theoretical
Perspectives
. New York, New York: Guildford, 1996.

141
erotophiles and erotophobes
: Byrne, 67–68.

145
true love can be seen as a triangle
: Trotter, 46–54.

148 “
When sex is good
”: Johnson, 60.

149
“Most find it easier to have sex”
: Johnson, 61.

E n d n o t e s

2 1 1

150
shared a telling personal story
: Spencer, Amy. “Turn Her ‘No’ Into a Go.”
Men’s Fitnes
s, July 2003, 62–64.

151
Respond audibly (not necessarily with words)
: Taylor, K., 52–54.

Chapter 8: Keep Passion Alive in Long-Term Relationships 164
Most couples settle into a routine
: “The Fodor’s Guide to Sex.”
The Atlantic Monthly
, January/February 2005, 56.

169
“your clitoris will always be there”:
Angier, 60.

170
In the words of Michele Weiner
: Flannagan, 172.

171
“If you plot the incidence”
: Angier, 199.

172
nothing sexier these days
: Deveney, 46.

173
“the kiss is the most compact”
: Taylor and Sharkey, 25.

Chapter 9: Finding Our Way to Sexual Happiness 192 “Sex in the best of all”: Hite, 227.

About the Author

Kim Marshall has worked in public education since graduating from college in 1969, and has published seven books and numerous articles. As a young teacher, he was trained as a sex educator and began developing and teaching a sex education curriculum, reaching more than 1,700 young adolescents over the years.

The Great Sex Secret
developed on a parallel track.

Marshall was struck by some significant gaps in sex literature and popular media and started work on a letter that he planned to give to his own children on their eighteenth birthdays.

To his surprise, this proved to be one of the most challenging projects he’d ever undertaken. Eight years of reading, research, and feedback slowly turned a twelve-page letter into something much bigger, and Marshall decided to share it with a wider audience.

A generous impulse gave rise to this book. Marshall hopes that its ideas will be helpful to many lovers, allowing them to get to the heart of the matter a little bit sooner. Life is short, the geography of love is a challenge, and sexual happiness really matters.

Document Outline

• Title Page
  
• Copyright Page
  
• Table of Contents
  
• Acknowledgments
  
• Introduction
  
• Chapter One
  
• Chapter Two
  
• Chapter Three
  
• Chapter Four
  
• Chapter Five
  
• Chapter Six
  
• Chapter Seven
  
• Chapter Eight
  
• Chapter Nine
  
• Selected Bibliography
  
• Endnotes
  
• About the Author
  
• Back Cover