Goodness Had Nothing to Do With It (37 page)

She shoved against him, this time hard, and he stepped back a little so he could see her face but kept his hands locked reassuringly on her arms.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" she asked, her pretty gray eyes going squinty.

He wasn't going to lie and he didn't know why the idea that he wanted her to move should upset her. "Yeah. I like the idea of living in the same city as my wife."

Her glare turned sulfuric. "I just cannot believe you!"

"Damn it, baby. I thought you understood. I want to be married to you. I want to be Aaron's daddy. I'm not ashamed of those two facts." He had hoped that from the way she had responded to him earlier that day, she was beginning to see things the same way. She'd said she loved him, damn it.

She yanked herself away from him and backed up until she was clear on the other side of the room. "How dare you stand there all smug and satisfied when you've ripped my life to shreds?"

He didn't feel smug and he sure as hell wasn't satisfied, and he wouldn't be—not until he had her agreement to marry him. So, he didn't see where she got off accusing him of feeling either emotion, especially in the face of her devastating news. He reined his temper in, though.

She wasn't thinking rationally. She was still reacting to what had happened at Kline Technology.

He tried a tentative smile on her. "Your life isn't ripped to shreds. You've got to believe me, honey."

"That's easy for you to say." Taking off her glasses, she wiped furiously at her cheeks. "You've got everything the way you want it. I'm out of a job and you think I don't have any choice but to marry you and move back to Portland now."

He was trying really hard not to let her ridiculous accusations get to him, but for her to accuse him of being glad she'd been fired was pushing him to his limits.

"I amnot glad you got fired."

"Right." Enough sarcasm dripped from that one word to drown him.

He felt his body tensing with anger, but he refused to give vent to it.

"I won't deny that I want you to move back to Portland with me, but I'd rather you did it of your own free will than feel pressured because you'd lost your job," he told her in all honesty.

No man wanted to feel like nothing more than the only port left in the storm of his lover's life.

"If you were so high-minded in your ideals, then why did you tell Mr. Kline about what happened at CIS?" she asked, her voice breaking on a fresh sob.

She turned from him and this time he felt more than gutted; he felt like death had come knocking on his hopes and dreams.

"You thinkI told Kline about Hypertron?" His voice sounded hoarse to his own ears, but maybe that was because his throat felt tight enough to choke him.

She didn't bother to turn and face him, "Are you saying you didn't?"

On another day, he might have thought that was hope he heard in her voice, but now he knew better.She still didn't trust him. She would never trust him . Just how had he thought they could build a life together with that lack lying between them? The pain of loss ripped through him.

He loved her, but what good did it do?

She might love him, but she was never going to trust him enough to marry him. Even if she did, her lack of trust would destroy any happiness they could hope to have. He saw the years stretch out bleakly ahead of him, years of being a weekend dad to his son, years of watching Ronnie probably fall in love with someone else and marry him, years when that man would squeeze Marcus's role in Aaron's life to the side.

He turned back toward the door. The last thing she needed was to have him around her right now. He'd come to give her comfort, to stand by her, but his presence was obviously just a source of pain for her. He felt like he'd gone climbing and taken a free fall on a hundred-foot-high ridge only to discover that his safety rope was frayed.

He put his hand on the doorknob. "Why bother saying I didn't do it?" he asked, the bitterness he felt heavy in his voice. "You're going to believe what you want to believe anyway."

Chapter Twenty

Veronica watched as Marcus's hand turned the knob as if it were in slow motion. He'd saidtrust me over and over again since walking in the door and she'd done everything but that. She'd made accusations. She'd demanded answers, but she hadn't once just trusted him.

She loved him.

That truth blazed through her like a searchlight, exposing all of her faulty thoughts. So what if she couldn't think of any way besides Marcus betraying her for Mr. Kline to have learned about her past? Trust by its very nature implied belief in the unbelievable sometimes. It also meant taking risks and putting your life, or parts of it, in another person's hands.

How could she have said she loved Marcus and never trusted him?

Galvanized into action by the sound of the tumbler clicking on the door, she flew across the floor and literally threw herself at Marcus's back. "You're right. It wouldn't matter either way, because I already know the truth."

He was rigid beneath her grasp. She wrapped her arms tightly around his midsection as if she could keep the blond giant in her apartment by sheer force of will.

"Let it go, Ronnie. We'll work out some kind of visitation thing with Aaron and I'll help you find another job up here, if you'll let me, but right now I need to leave."

He didn't want to marry her anymore, but why should that surprise her? It would be an act of criminal insanity for a man to want to marry a woman who didn't believe in him.

She hugged him with all her might. "No. You can't leave. I won't let you. I know you didn't tell Mr. Kline about my past. I'm sorry I ever thought you did. I was thinking with my head, not my heart. But I've got my priorities straight now."

He was so stiff, not reacting at all.

"I trust you, Marcus. With my secrets, with my past, with my present and with my future."

He leaned his head against the door, his body emanating masculine defeat. "That's not what you said five minutes ago, Ronnie. You don't need to lie to me."

She felt the tears start again. "I'm not lying, Marcus. I love you and I can't lose you. .

Pressing her cheek against his back, she absorbed the warmth of his body through his shirt. She'd shrivel up and die inside if she could never feel that warmth again.

"Please forgive me, Marcus. You have to forgive me. I can't live without you anymore."

His chest expanded as he breathed in and held his breath for a second before letting it out. "You did pretty well for eighteen months."

"I was miserable."

He peeled her hands away, gently but firmly.

He was going to leave. He wouldn't forgive her. She'd lost the man she loved for the second time because she hadn't trusted him. Choking on a sob, she fell back a step as cold misery enveloped her.

Then the world tilted on its axis as Marcus lifted her high against his chest, one arm under her knees and the other against her back.

Blue eyes filled with tenderness gazed down at her. "Stop crying, baby. I really can't handle your tears."

She took a shuddering breath, trying to do as he'd asked, but fresh moisture dampened her eyes as she locked her hands behind his neck.

"I decided to marry you this morning, just before Allison called me to Mr. Kline's office. Now you don't want me and I can't blame you," she wailed and buried her face in his neck.

Soft lips caressed her temple in a fleeting touch. "Where are Jenny and Aaron?"

"Aaron's in a baby play group and Jenny's at an afternoon show with a friend from down the hall. Today's her afternoon out or I wouldn't have come home to cry," she admitted, in a soggy voice.

Marcus didn't say anything. He just carried her through the living room, down the hall and into her bedroom. He laid her on the bed as if she were a one-of-a-kind Lladro figurine, breakable and very precious.

Standing beside the bed, he took her hand and pressed it against the unmistakable hardness of his arousal. "Does that feel like I don't want you?"

She felt her cheeks heat. "I d-didn't just mean in bed."

He smiled and her heart felt like it stopped beating, that smile was so full of tenderness and warmth.

"I didn't either. My physical desire for you is just one of the things that makes your presence in my life as necessary to my happiness as the air I breathe."

She sat up and stared at him with eyes she knew mirrored her hope. "Does that mean you still want to marry me?"

Dropping to his knees on the carpet beside the bed, he took her left hand in his. The image of her once commitment shy lover on bended knee in front of her literally stole the breath from her lungs.

"I love you, Ronnie. Will you marry me?"

There were no fancy words and she found that she didn't need any. That simple, straightforward question was filled with all the romance her heart-hungry soul could desire.

"You love me?" she asked, needing confirmation of the fulfillment of her dearest desire. Maybe she was hearing things.

"Yes. I didn't realize how much, or what that really meant until Kline told me that he'd fired you today and why. It hit me right away that his actions would work in my favor as far as convincing you to marry me."

"But you said you didn't want me feeling forced."

"That's the conclusion I came to, and when I did, I realized that I loved you too much to take you as anything other than a willing partner in marriage. So, are you willing?"

She had to swallow twice before she could answer without squeaking or crying. "I would be honored to become your wife."

He slid the most exquisite diamond ring on her wedding finger and then yanked her into his arms for a victorious, joy-filled kiss. After which, he set about expressing his happiness at her acceptance in a very tangible way.

A long while later, her body exhausted but satisfied beyond her wildest imaginings, she snuggled into his side and reveled in the feel of his naked body against hers.

"So, do you want to hear who ratted on you to Kline?"

The question startled her because once she'd accepted it wasn't Marcus, she hadn't cared. "I guess. Does it matter?"

He kissed her. "Yes, it matters. You see, when this person came to Kline with the information, he tipped his hand as the corporate spy."

She sat up. "He did?"

Which he? "Was it Jerry?" He was such a sweet kid she really hoped he hadn't done it.

Marcus crossed his arms under his head. "Nope."

'Was it Kevin?"

''Wrong again."

"Jack? The all-around team player and corporate go-to guy? I can't believe it."

"Well, believe it. The bastard went to Kline this morning and told him he'd learned about how you had left CIS under a cloud; then he hinted about information leakages that might have been going on since you started working for the company."

"And Mr. Kline thinks I'm innocent?"

She didn't understand. Why should her former employer trust her over Jack, and if he did, why had he fired her?

When she asked Marcus, his entire body tensed with anger. "You were the sacrificial lamb, sweetheart. Kline wants time to put together a rock-solid case against Jack. He thought firing you would make Jack feel safe enough to stick around and take the bait on one last big information deal."

She stared at Marcus, unable to take it in. "You can't be serious."

"As a heartbeat, baby. I gave him hell for it, but the bottom line is, he owns Kline Technology and can pretty much do what he damn well pleases."

"You yelled at him?" On her behalf?

Marcus's gaze wasn't on her face. It had drifted downward and she felt her nipples hardening under his hungry male scrutiny.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Slop that and answer my question."

His expression turned harsh. "Yes, I yelled at him. He's lucky that's all I did. All I could think about was how you must be feeling and I wanted to kill him."

"And then you came here and I accused you of telling him," she said, feeling stricken.