“So you haven’t had sex since you were with your ex?”
“I slept with a woman at a weekend conference a few years after the divorce. Then after my mom died, there was a friend I ended up with for a few months, but she stopped calling. Now I look back and I wonder if it was because the sex sucked.”
Ben held up his hand. “First off, the past is the past. None of that matters. Is there someone specific you’re lookin’ at around here that you wanna impress with your sexpertise?”
“Rielle.”
“You’re with her? Or you want to get with her?”
“We’ve been together.”
That caught Ben by surprise. “How long’s it been goin’ on?”
Gavin blushed and felt like an idiot for it. “After I moved here, things started out slow, us talking and hanging out. Then we found an excuse to touch each other. Then we were making out like crazy whenever we were alone. And the night before last…we had sex. It happened so damn fast. Too fast.”
“Did Rielle complain?”
He groaned. “No, but she’s been avoiding me, probably because it lasted like a minute.”
“You afraid she was disappointed?”
“Yeah.”
“Were
you
disappointed?”
“God no. It was intense and spontaneous. I’ve never acted that aggressive with a woman. I fucked her up against the damn wall. Outside. On the balcony.”
“And Rielle gave you the go ahead?”
Gavin’s eyes cut to Ben. “Completely consensual.”
Ben chuckled. “Here’s the truth. Women love that shit. You getting her turned on and then fucking her hard and fast right where she stands. I’ll bet Rielle was just shocked because
you
acted that way and she hasn’t seen you in that role.”
“It gets worse. I got put back into the ‘Dad’ role because Sierra came in right after the spectacularly fast finish.”
Ben’s eyebrows rose. “Sierra caught you?”
He shook his head. “We were on the balcony outside of my room and it was dark.”
“Wait. Was this the night of the McKay party?”
“Yep.”
“So that’s where you were. I gotta say, bro. I’m impressed. Getting some with all the family around.”
The horses were getting restless. Ben urged his horse into a walk and Duchess followed.
Gavin tried to focus on the scenery; the crisp air and the shadows skittering across the ground as clouds clustered and broke apart overhead. Rielle would be outside, doing ten thousand things at once. “Thanks for bringing me out here, Ben. This is gorgeous country.”
“Have you explored much of the land you bought from Rielle?”
“No. Ree says the terrain is rugged and I needed a horse on the unbroken trails rather than an ATV.”
“She has a point. But I’ll also remind you it’s your land. The Wetzlers were always weird about letting people onto that section. It’s yours now. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. If you wanna clear all the damn trees and make a trail for four-wheelers, do it. If you’re nervous about setting off alone, just call me. I’d be happy for the chance to get a look around.”
“I’ll think on it and let you know.”
“Fair enough. Let’s head back.”
They turned the horses around.
“Bet you’re waiting for my advice,” Ben said after a bit.
“Do you have some?”
“Yep. Fake it ’til you make it. Next time you’re with Rielle…act like you’ve got the hot sex moves and she’ll believe you’ve got them. You will too.”
“You think that’ll work?”
He grinned. “It already did once, didn’t it? You have the woman so flustered about you going all caveman on her ass that she’s hiding from you. That ain’t the Rielle I know, trust me.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Maybe. Hopefully. Fuck. How was he supposed to know?
“That wasn’t very convincing.” Ben pushed up his hat a notch. “Tell me what your other option is?”
Gavin blinked.
“For the love of God, please don’t tell me you planned to confess your lack of sexual experience, hoping she’d understand and you could discuss what to do about it.” When Gavin didn’t respond, but must’ve looked guilty, Ben said, “Jesus, I can’t fuckin’ believe you were actually considering that! Screw that. You need to fuck it out, not talk it out.”
“So I shouldn’t talk to her at all?” Gavin said skeptically.
Ben muttered something. Then he sighed. “Talking is important, especially in the type of sexual activities I prefer. But in your case? Save the talking for after. First, act like you’re gonna rock her world in bed and then follow through with it. Besides, it’s not like women come with an instruction manual.”
No way could Gavin confess he’d bought the book
Amazing Sex for Dummies
. And
How To Go Down On A Woman
. And
Sex Secrets from Porn Stars
. And
Making Love 101
. Ben would laugh his ass off.
“Come on, bro, you’ve got a guilty damn look on your face. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’ve lived my life by honesty is the best policy, Ben. This feels dishonest.”
“But it’s not like you’re lyin’ to her.” He brooded for a moment. “Lemme ask you this; how do you feel when you see Rielle?”
“Like stripping her bare and taking her right that second. Christ. All she has to do is walk past me and I’m hard. I think about her constantly. Fantasize about all the things I wanna do to her.”
“Make those thoughts reality. Let your lust for her be your guide. Women want spontaneity. They want the sole focus to be what the two of you are doin’ to each other right at that moment. The rest is just mechanics.” He held up a gloved hand. “With the exception of BDSM. That takes some skill if you wanna go that direction. Even if it’s not, it’s fun to dabble.”
Dabble in tying Rielle up and spanking her ass? Yeah, that might be out of her comfort zone. Or…out of his.
“And if you’re lookin’ for inspiration or ideas or whatever, watch porn.”
“I can just see Sierra walking in when I’m taking notes on different positions.” He sighed. “Am I just kidding myself that this will work even if I do figure out how to rock Rielle’s world? Do I smuggle Rielle into my room? Or sneak into hers? And doesn’t it make me a hypocrite to tell Sierra to wait to have sex when I plan to fuck Rielle nine ways ’til Sunday?”
“Maybe it makes me a dick, but I’ll point out that you deserve to have an adult relationship. You’re forty-three. Sierra is sixteen. Different expectations, bud. Should Sierra find you and Rielle fucking on the countertop? Nope. Does that mean you and Rielle shouldn’t fuck on the countertop? Nope. It’s all about timing. Including when you and Rielle decide to tell Sierra that the two of you are romantically involved.”
“That’d be another first.”
“I suspect it’d be a first for Ree too. But if you’re intimate with her, at least give her the courtesy of owning up to it. Don’t treat her or what the two of you are doin’ behind closed doors as a dirty secret.”
Gavin considered that and nodded.
“Anything else?” Ben asked.
“No. Thanks. I really appreciate your advice.”
“Happy to help.”
He adjusted his seat on the saddle and his ornery horse decided to take advantage of the slack in the reins. Gavin pulled Duchess to a stop with a firm tug and a sharp warning.
“That’s it,” Ben encouraged. “If she gets it in her head to lead, you show her who’s boss right quick.”
Again, Gavin understood his brother wasn’t just referring to horses.
Chapter Fifteen
Needing fortification, courage, balls—whatever, Rielle tossed back half the lemon-drop martini. “I need some advice.”
“I hope it’s not medical advice, because Doctor Monroe is not in tonight,” Joely said.
“It’s personal. And slightly embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing? Interesting.” Joely sipped from her martini glass, shrewd eyes focused completely on Rielle. “Spill it.”
She blurted out, “I had sex with Gavin Daniels.”
“Girlfriend, are you serious?” Joely grinned and lifted her glass for a toast. “That is awesome!”
“Except it wasn’t.”
“It wasn’t awesome? Explain that. In detail.”
Her cheeks flamed. “Long story short. Thursday night Gavin had a party for the McKays. I freaked out and hid in my former bedroom. Gavin found me and tried to calm me down. So we’re out on the balcony and he’s touching me and the next thing I know, he hoisted me against the wall and fucked me.”
“And this is bad…how?”
Rielle angled across the table. “It was fast.”
“For you? Or him?”
“For both of us. I had an orgasm within about fifteen seconds and I was so embarrassed about it I didn’t make a sound. Then afterward, I realized I hadn’t touched him at all. I just set my hands on his shoulders and let him fuck me.”
“Sweets, I gotta ask this. Did Gavin notice you didn’t participate very much?”
“That’s what I’m worried about. We haven’t seen each other since. And we live together so I’m pretty sure he’s avoiding me because I proved to be a lousy lay.” She finished her martini and slid the empty to the edge of the table. “Or worse, he immediately figured out how little sexual experience I’ve had.”
Joely held up her hand. “Hold on. Back up. Tell me how it played out from the time Gavin found you in his bedroom.”
As Rielle relayed the events, she remembered how awesome that buzz of sexual anticipation felt. How much she liked having Gavin’s hands on her. His mouth on her. And how wet he’d made her in such a short amount of time. She sent Joely a panicked look.
But Joely was deep in thought. Then she smiled. “Okay. Let me put on my stethoscope for a bit. Hot, spontaneous sex isn’t the norm for you. Let’s talk about your sexual history.”
God. No. This was exactly what Rielle was trying to avoid.
Wrong. This is exactly what you need.
Joely squeezed her hand. “Hey. It’s me. I’m thankful for our friendship, Ree, and I’d be the last person to pass judgment on you. I want to help, ’cause, sugar, I think you need it.”
She blew out a slow breath. “Sexual history. Right. I got pregnant at sixteen the first time I had sex. The guy…” Rielle closed her eyes. She couldn’t even remember what he looked like. That guilt ate at her, this disconnect with the man who was the father of her child.
Cool fingers wrapped her fingers around the stem of a martini glass. “Drink this. It’ll help.”
Rielle opened her eyes and smiled. “Thanks.”
“Take your time. We can get hammered tonight because I have designated drivers on call.”
Not the first time Joely had mentioned that. After a minute, Rielle said, “You know I was raised by hippie parents with the live-off-the-land, make-our-own-way, screw-the-man attitude.”
“That sounds familiar. Wouldn’t it be hysterical if your hippie parents knew my hippie parents? Or had spent time in the same peace, free-love and no nukes commune?”
“That’d be a total trip, man.”
Joely laughed. “Keep going. We’ll compare notes later.”
“Our doors were open for anyone who would work for food and shelter—very much a commune-like vibe.” She allowed a small smirk. “Rumors flew that my folks grew pot on their funky little piece of land in McKay country. Untrue. They’d grown it in California, and surprisingly, they had a profitable business. My mother, the smarter of my parents because she hadn’t smoked all the profits and the product, sold their operation. We moved here when I was eight. They didn’t believe in formal education so I was home schooled. None of the transients who crashed with us had kids, so I grew up isolated, from kids my own age and society in general.” Feeling like a freak, she looked at Joely. “Was it like that for you?”
“No. I lived in a commune where all kids were raised by the community. We called everyone mother and father. I had thirty siblings. We were dressed the same. We didn’t even sleep in the same bed every night, lest we get attached to material objects. I had nothing of my own; everything was shared. But they did at least educate us, which allowed me to get the hell out.” Sadness passed through her eyes. “But enough about that. This is about you. Keep talking.”
Rielle hoped someday Joely would fill in the blanks of her life before she became Doctor Monroe. “Given that history you can imagine how a sixteen-year-old-girl, starved for attention, and just discovering sexuality, would react when an older guy started paying attention to me. Talking to me. Listening to me. Touching me. I craved that touch because my parents were unaffectionate.”
“With each other too?”
“Yes. They had an open relationship. I remember seeing Mom sleeping on the couch when Dad was in their bedroom with someone else. Same with my dad sleeping on the couch when Mom was
having a meeting
with some dude in their bedroom.”
“At least it was equal opportunity ‘meetings’ for them.”
“True.” She smiled. “You’d think I’d have picked up the basics on sex, but I was so damn naïve. When ‘John’—” she made air quotes, “—kissed me and touched me and told me it was okay, it was natural, I believed him. But the night he came into my room and took my virginity? There wasn’t sweet words or kisses or anything but the smell of pot smoke clinging to his clothes as he crawled on top of me.” Rielle felt Joely’s piercing stare, but she needed to get through this part to get to the heart of the matter. “I ended up pregnant. I had no idea I was pregnant until about the fifth month and I kept feeling all this stuff going on inside me and I’d put on weight. My mother figured it out. Four months later I gave birth to Rory, at home, with some whacked-out midwife and my mother in attendance.”