God's Gift to Women (13 page)

“Let me have the key so I can get my bags from the car,” Eddie said. “You don’t mind if I change at your place, do you, Janet?”

“Not at all. I have an extra bedroom—I mean, an extra bathroom.”

“All right, partner—I’m outta here.” He shook Julian’s hand and gave him a hug. “I’ll see you and Sam around seven.”

“Make sure you’re on time. I can’t afford to get to the studio late. Before I forget, let me write down the directions.”

“No need.” He pulled a piece of paper from out of his pants pocket. “I got the directions off the internet. And don’t worry, I’ll be there on time. I wouldn’t miss seeing Samantha for the world. Then he turned to Terri with a sly grin on his face. “Nice meeting you, Terri. I’m sure we’ll meet again. After all, we do have
something
in common.”

“What’s that?”

“Julian.”

Eddie and Janet walked out the door hand in hand. After they were gone, Terri lay down on the sofa and covered her face with her hands.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“I don’t understand how you could be friends with such a conceited asshole.”

“Eddie and I go back a long way. He’s always been there for me, through thick and thin. But I’m nothing like him, I promise you.”

“For our sake I hope not, because I could never deal with a man like that. He’s too slick and arrogant. And worst of all, he’s a liar. He had the nerve to say he wants a family someday, knowing doggone well that’s the furthest thing from his mind,” she said. “I will never tolerate being lied to, Julian. I couldn’t handle that.”

“Don’t worry, baby.” Julian walked over and wrapped his arms around her. “I would never do anything to disrespect you. You’re my queen.”

At first they kissed each other gently on the lips, then it grew into a passionate kiss. Terri spun Julian around and laid down on top of him. She angled her body so that his penis was between her legs. Then she turned his head to the side and began kissing him on the neck.

“Damn, Terri, I’ve never seen this side of you.”

“Who you callin’ Terri?” she said in a nasty whisper. “My name is Eve.”

“Okay,
Eve,
are we going to grind each other to death or are we gonna take this to the next level?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether or not you can miss work tonight, because once I get my motor started there ain’t no stoppin’ me!”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Well, I guess this will have to wait.” Terri slowly got up and backed away.

“Come on, baby, don’t torture me like this! Give a brotha a rain check or something.”

“Tomorrow won’t work for me—have a visitor comin’.”

“A visitor? Who?”

“Aunt Bessie.”

“You never mentioned that you had an aunt named Bessie.”

“I’m talking about my period, silly. Don’t you men know anything?”

“Can’t you put it on hold? You know, take a pill, stand on your head, anything, just make it stop!”

“My period is as accurate as an atomic clock. It’s never late.”

“Maybe we can get together after work.”

“Be patient, sweetheart. I promise you it’ll be worth the wait. Just enjoy your weekend with Eddie. I’ll do something extra special for you next week.” She pushed Julian down on the sofa again. “Besides, I’m not going anywhere, not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever.”

“I’M GONNA KILL you, Eddie,” I said angrily as I looked out the living room window. “I can’t believe you pulled this shit again!”

He promised he would be here no later then seven o’clock, but it was already nine fifteen and I hadn’t heard from him. He knew I was expecting him to watch Samantha while I was at work. By nine twenty I gave up and dialed the number for the baby-sitter. Juanita only lived two blocks away, but it was a Friday night and she loved to get her party on. As the phone rang I was praying she would be at home.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Juanita, this is Julian. I know this is short notice, but can you watch Samantha?”

“I thought she was staying with her uncle from Chicago tonight?”

“That
was
the plan, but he hasn’t shown up and I’ve got to be at work in less than an hour.”

“Samantha must be terribly disappointed. She’s been talkin’ about him all week.”

“Yeah, I know, so you can just imagine how pissed off I am,” I said angrily.

“You know I’m always here for you, Julian, but I do have one problem.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve got my three-year-old grandson with me and he’s already asleep, so you’ll have to bring her over here.”

“I don’t care if I have to bring her to the Astrodome! I’m on the air in forty-five minutes and you’re my only option.”

“Okay, bring her over, but this is gonna cost you extra.”

“Just name it.”

“I want tickets to the WBMX Old-School party at the Hilton tomorrow night.”

“How many tickets do you need, Juanita?”

“Just two, one for me and one for my friend.”

“
Friend
? What about your husband?”

“To hell with him! He does his thing and I do mine.”

“Sounds like drama to me.”

“No drama, just reality. I’ve learned a lot about getting my needs met since I started listening to your show. I loved your topic about women needing a little maintenance.”

“You should have called in for some advice.” I laughed.

“How do you know I didn’t? There’s plenty of fifty-year-old women looking for a little tune-up.” She disguised her voice the way she did that night.

“I thought I recognized your voice. And you had the nerve to use your real name.”

“As the old saying goes, ain’t no shame in my game. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”

“I’m not gonna touch that one,” I told her. “But you’ve got yourself a deal on those tickets. Now let me get Samantha together so I can get to work. It’s Friday night, and I can’t wait to drop this new poetry.”

“You know I’ll be listening,” Juanita said. Then we both hung up.

“Sam, hurry up and get a bag together,” I yelled upstairs. “You’re gonna spend the night over at Juanita’s.”

“I thought Uncle Eddie was staying with me tonight.” She sounded disappointed. “I rented
Shrek
and
Spy Kids
especially for him. I got us some popcorn, too.”

“I’m sorry, Princess, but Eddie can’t make it.”

She walked back to her room with her head down and her lips poked out. She had been looking forward to seeing him ever since we left Chicago. He promised her he would be here. Unlike adults, kids take promises very seriously. “Eddie, you’d better have a damn good excuse,” I said while grabbing my car keys off the counter. Dissing me was one thing, but lying to my baby was grounds for a serious ass whippin’.

But I knew exactly where Eddie was. He and Janet had been gone for over four hours. That was three hours more than Eddie needed to manipulate her young mind.
He’s probably got her in the sixty-nine position by now,
I was thinking. I gave her two months, tops, then he’ll dump her and move on to his next victim. That’s his M.O.—that’s Eddie.

MITCH WAS ALREADY in the control room taking calls when I arrived at the studio. I waved to get his attention as I sat down at the console.

“I thought I was gonna have to do the show without you,” he said over the intercom.

“I haven’t missed a show in fifteen years and I’m not about to start now.”

“Well, I hope you’ve got a hot topic tonight because these phone lines are on fire!” Mitch said. “By the way, what
is
the topic?”

“You’ll find out soon enough, but I’ll give you a hint: look inside the drawer next to your monitor.”

When Mitch pulled the CD out of the drawer, he had a curious look on his face.

“
Destiny’s Child
? They aren’t old school. Hell, they ain’t even
out
of school!”

“Trust me on this one, Mitch. It’s perfect!”

“How could I question the drama king? If anybody can stir up controversy, it’s you,” he said. “Now stand by. We’re on in thirty seconds.”

While I waited for Mitch to begin the countdown, I reclined in my chair and inhaled the sweet aroma of the jasmine-scented candles. The atmosphere was relaxed, peaceful, and cool.

“You know, Mitch, after fifteen years I still get chills every time I sit down in front of the mic.”

“That’s a good sign. It means you don’t take your listeners for granted. Now put on your headphones. We’re on the air in five seconds—four, three, two, one …”

“Good evening, and welcome to another night of
Love, Lust, and Lies.
I’m your host, Julian Payne, and for the next four hours I plan to stimulate your mind, body, and soul. Or maybe I’ll just make you so angry you’ll want to throw your radio out the window. Whatever your reaction, don’t blame me; I’m just the messenger. And of course this is “Hot Buttered Soul Poetry Friday,” so be sure to stay tuned for the end of the show. I promise you it’ll be worth the wait.

“Now, let’s get on with tonight’s topic. It was inspired by three beautiful young ladies from your hometown of Houston. That’s right, I’m talking about Destiny’s Child, and the song is ‘Bug-A-Boo.’ ” Right on cue, Mitch dropped the upbeat intro:

“You make me wanna throw my pager out the window

Tell MCI to cut my phones off. …”

After a few more verses we faded out of the song. Mitch began typing in comments from the callers as fast as he could. It seemed like the entire city of Houston had a story to tell about a bugaboo.

“If you haven’t guessed by now, the topic tonight is people who just don’t know when to let go! So, if you’re being bugged by a stalker, fatal attraction, or just somebody who constantly blows up your cell phone and pager, give us a call. We may not be able to help you get rid of them, but we damn sure want to talk about it!”

The comments that were coming across my screen were outrageous. I decided to take the female callers first. Women are always more dramatic when it comes to relationships.

“Cynthia, you’re on the air. What’s your comment or question?”

“Julian, you must have been reading my mind when you came up with this topic because I just went to court today over a bugaboo.”

“Was he a coworker, a stranger, or somebody you met at a club?”

“No, it was my baby’s daddy!” she said, getting loud. “That fool was showing up at my job, following me around to nightclubs, and he even parked outside my house to see if I had company. One night he sat in my driveway from sunup to sundown. I wanted to take his ass some popcorn and tell him to enjoy the movie!”

Mitch was laughing so hard he nearly choked to death on the doughnut he was eating. I turned off my mic while Cynthia was still talking and ran in to the control room to pat him on the back.

“You okay?”

He nodded, then I rushed back to the studio. Just as she finished her story, I switched the mic back on.

“So why did you have to go to court?”

“To get a restraining order! That idiot was trying to control my life. It was getting to the point where I was looking over my shoulder everywhere I went. And what’s so funny is that he was the one who walked out on me!”

“I guess some men don’t realize they have a good thing until it’s gone.”

“Well, it’s too late now. And you can let all your fine male listeners know I will be at the party tomorrow night and I am single and available!” she yelled. “What about you, Julian, do you need a good woman? ’Cause I know how to treat my man.”

“I’ll have to take a pass, Cynthia. I don’t want your baby’s daddy parked outside my studio eating popcorn.” I laughed. “But thanks for callin’. Now let’s go to Theresa on line two. What’s your issue, Lady T.?”

“Boy, do I have a story for you!” she said with a strong southern accent. “I met this guy at Maxwell’s nightclub about six months ago, right? He was cute, had good conversation, and he said he was an engineer. What I liked most about him was that he was funny—I mean, he had me crackin’ up all night. He also said he had been celibate for two years, which was fine with me, ’cause I’m not the kind of woman who jumps into bed right away. Everything was—”

“I hate to cut you off, Theresa, but it’s only a four-hour show. Can you get to the point?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Payne, but I thought this was a talk show and I’m talkin’. You need to be more patient with us southern belles. We’re not as fast as those Chicago women, but we do get the job done,” she said very charmingly.

“I do apologize. Lady T., please continue.”

“As I was saying, everything was going fine for the first two months. He would call once a day, we would get together on the weekends for dinner or a movie. Never once did he pressure me about sex. Then about two months into the relationship I decided the time was right to give him some.”

“Some what?”

“You know what
what
is,” she whispered. “A little nookie. Julian, after that night his whole personality changed. All of a sudden he was coming by my house unannounced, e-mailing me all kinds of raunchy letters, and calling my house four or fives times a day. If we ended a phone conversation at ten o’clock at night and I said, ‘I’ll talk to you later,’ that fool would call me back at midnight. I had to tell him that ‘later’ means the next day.”

“Damn, Theresa, is the southern stuff that good?” I joked. “You must have really put somethin’ on that brotha.”

“It had been a while since my last experience, so you know I had to whip it on him.
Whoo-pish!
” She imitated the cracking of a whip.

“So, did this guy finally stop buggin’ you, or did you have to get a restraining order like Cynthia?”

“There was no need for a restraining order. He’s dead.”

“Dead? Don’t tell me you gave that poor man a heart attack.”

“No, silly! One day after it had been storming outside, he climbed on top of my roof trying to get into my bedroom window. I think he was trying to surprise me by putting a rose on my pillow. Anyway, he braced himself on my DIRECTV satellite dish and it cracked. Next thing I know, I see a body falling past my window to the ground. He broke his neck and died right there in my rose bed.”