God's Gift to Women (12 page)

“Will you come over later and tuck me in?” She put her arms around my neck and tried to kiss me.

“No, Olivia, now get off me!” I pulled away and began walking toward the elevators.

“If you change your mind I’m at the Wyndham Hotel, 2205, remember?”

I didn’t say a word, I just kept walking. When I got to the elevator I pushed the button frantically, hoping to escape before she snapped. While I waited, I stuffed the pillow into the garbage can that was nearby. There was no way in hell I was giving my daughter a present from that crazy bitch. Just as I shut the lid, Olivia came walking around the corner.

“What is it now, Olivia? I told you I have to go to work!”

“You can stop being so nasty to me, Julian, I get the message. You don’t want to be with me and I have to accept that.” She was strangely calm. “I promise you I’ll never bother you again. All I want is a hug and then I’ll leave.”

“How about a handshake instead?”

“No, it’s got to be a hug,” she said. “Call it—closure.” When the elevator door opened my first impulse was to jump inside and close the door in her face, but for some strange reason I felt sympathetic toward her. Maybe it was my guilty conscience. In an odd way, I needed closure, too.

“Okay, but after I give you this hug, you’ve got to promise to leave.”

“I promise to God and hope to die.” She crossed her heart with her hand.

I didn’t like the way that sounded, but I let it slide. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and a church hug.

“Mmm,” she moaned. “I’m really gonna miss you. I hope we can at least be friends.”

“Sure, Olivia, but let’s make that long-distance friends. In other words, don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

“I understand, Julian, it won’t happen again. Have a great show tonight. I’ll be listening.”

After I boarded the elevator I held the door open and watched her walk off into the night. As the elevator doors shut, I tried to convince myself it was over. I really wanted to believe that. But Olivia walked away too quietly—too calmly.

MY TEMPER FLARED as I circled the Delta baggage claim area in my car for the third time. According to the agent at Continental Airlines, Eddie’s flight had landed on schedule, but when I arrived outside of baggage claim he was nowhere to be found. I dialed his cell phone three times, but he didn’t answer. It was typical of Eddie not to be on time. If I knew him, he was probably trying to get into the pants of some weak-minded female.

The longer I waited, the more frustrated I became. It didn’t help that the sun was frying the left side of my face. The high was expected to be ninety-three, but it already felt like one hundred. Even with the air-conditioning on full blast, I was sweating. After another fifteen minutes of circling the terminal, I drove around to the hourly parking area. I hated parking at Intercontinental Airport, especially with all the new construction going on.

Once I walked inside the terminal I checked the monitor for flight arrival information and the carousel number his bags were arriving on. Most of the passengers from his flight had already collected their luggage, but Eddie was still missing. Just
as I was about to try him on his cell phone, I saw a tall, light-skinned brotha wearing beige shorts and a tank top coming down the escalator. He had his arm wrapped tightly around the waist of a blond flight attendant. When he saw me walking toward him he waved and pulled her closer to him. “He’s got jungle fever!” I sang underneath my breath.

“Julian, meet Cindy,” Eddie said cordially. “Cindy, this is Julian Payne, radio personality extraordinaire!”

“Pleased to meet you, Cindy. Do you mind if I talk to my friend alone for a second?”

“
Sure,
go right ahead,” she said in a valley-girl accent. “I’ve got to get going, anyway.”

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Cindy.” Eddie kissed her hand. “I hope I can ride the friendly skies with you sometime soon.”

“Isn’t he adorable?” She blushed. Then she strutted down the corridor swinging her behind as hard as she could.

“Don’t make me throw up,” I said to him. “And by the way,
United
is the friendly skies, not Continental, fool!”

“What difference does it make? As long as I get my face between those creamy white thighs, who cares?”

“Eddie, you have no shame. Why don’t you—”

“Hold up, partner.” Eddie cut me off. “I thought we had this conversation already.”

“Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox for now, but one of these days that roaming dick of yours is gonna get you into trouble.”

“You might be right, but until then, I’m gonna put as many miles on this bad boy as possible. You heard of frequent flyer miles? Well, this is frequent boning miles.” He grabbed his crotch.

“All right, Mandingo, you just make sure to keep your hands off your genitals when we get to Terri’s office. She’s a classy lady. Besides, things have been going great between us for the last week. I don’t want her to get the impression that I’m as trifling as you.”

“A whole week, huh? Have you hit it yet?”

“No, I haven’t hit it!” I said. “We’re taking our time to get to know each other. It’s called dating.”

“Well, you can call it whatever you want, but what it all boils down to is game playing. A woman knows if she wants to give you some within the first thirty seconds of meeting you. Everything after that is game,” Eddie said. “Now, you can try to play the gentleman role if you want, but you and I both know that you would be knockin’ the bottom out of that thang right now if it was up to you!”

“I hate it when you read me like that!” I laughed and slapped him five. “You know me too well.”

We collected his luggage from the carousel and headed for the exit. Once we were outside, Eddie nearly broke his neck staring at all the beautiful ladies walking by: white, black, Hispanic, Asian, he didn’t discriminate.

“Man, Texas has some fine women! I hope your doctor friend can hook me up with one of those intellectual types!”

“Don’t you ever turn off?” I said to him. “I’m gonna have Terri give you a psychological examination. You might suffer from some kind of sexual addiction.”

“That’s cool with me; I love doin’ it on the couch. But if she cures me, I’m suing,” Eddie laughed. “Now can we
please
get outta this heat!” He wiped the sweat from his forehead. “No wonder they call this H-Town. The H stands for
hot as hell
!”

“CALM DOWN, GIRL!” Terri said as she paced back and forth in her office. “It’s not like you’re meeting his mama.” Normally Terri didn’t care about what people thought of her, but the situation with Eddie was different. He and Julian were like brothers. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t mention Eddie’s name and talk about something funny they had done while they were growing up. It was obvious that Julian valued his opinion about everything, including women.

Just as she finished checking her makeup in her compact mirror for the third time, there was a knock at the door. She quickly put away her purse, straightened her skirt, and took off her conservative eyeglasses.

“Come in, the door is open!”

“Where’s the party at?” Janet yelled as she came strutting into the room wearing a snug-fitting pink skirt and matching pumps. “I can’t wait to meet Julian’s fine friend Eddie.”

“Look at you, dressed up like a hoochie mama.”

“Whatever,” Janet said. “You’re just jealous because you don’t have these sexy hips.” She slapped herself on the butt.
“Like that Klymaxx song says, “The men all pause when I walk into the room.”

“They better pause, before they trip over your big behind. That rascal is so wide you could sit a cocktail table on it and then the drink.”

“Well, at least I’m not afraid to show off what I’ve got. You, on the other hand, try to be slick about exposing your stuff.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Okay, then tell me what’s up with the two buttons undone on your blouse. I know you’re trying to show off a little cleavage.”

“Girl, please!”

“And where are those thick Sally Jessy Raphael glasses?” Janet laughed. “I’ve never known you to take those off, not even for Michael.
Ooo,
somebody’s in L-O-V-E.”

“You’re out of your M-I-N-D,” Terri said. “I’m just trying out a new look, that’s all.”

“Well, if you’re not in love you must be whipped.” Janet jumped on top of Terri’s desk. “So tell me—was it good?”

“Was what good?”

“You know—
it
!” Janet thrust her fist back and forth in a stroking motion.

“I beg your pardon. I would never give it up that quickly. And besides, a real lady would never discuss what goes on in her bedroom.”

“Heifer, please. If you were getting good lovin’ you would be yodeling butt-naked on top of the Transco Tower.”

“Maybe I just keep my business on the down low,” Terri boasted. “I could be rockin’ Julian’s world, for all you know.”

“When a woman has gone without sex for as long as you have, it won’t be hard to figure out.”

“And why is that?”

“Because good dick will have you talking to people you don’t even like and laughing at shit that ain’t even funny,” Janet said. “And you haven’t cracked a smile yet.”

Just then there was a knock at the door. Janet jumped off the desk and pulled her locks back to expose more of her face. Terri played it cool. She put her glasses back on and slowly walked to the door. When she opened it, Julian and Eddie were standing outside smiling from ear to ear.

“Welcome, gentlemen. Come on in,” Terri said while gesturing with her hand.

Eddie barely got one foot in the door before he started laying on the old charm.

“Mm, mm, mm, Julian was right—you
are
fine. And sexy, too.” Eddie looked her up and down. “All this body and a mind, too. Man, you hit the jackpot!”

“Eddie, this is Terri. Terri, this is Eddie,” Julian said.

“Nice meeting you, Eddie. Julian has told me
all
about you!”

“Well, don’t believe everything you hear. I’m actually a very shy person.” Eddie kissed Terri’s hand.

“I doubt that.”

“And who is this lovely young lady?” Eddie said while staring Janet up and down.

“Oh, that’s just Janet,” Julian said while walking over to have a seat. “You know, the one I told you about who’s always giving me a hard time.”

“Forget you, Julian.” She slapped him on the back of his head as he walked past her.

“Hey, don’t hurt those pretty little hands on his hard head.” Eddie grasped her hands and kissed them. “A real woman should never resort to violence. Let your man fight your battles.”

“I would—if I had a man.”

“You’re single?” Eddie acted surprised. “These brothas down here in Texas must be blind, crippled, and crazy. How could they allow a fine woman like yourself to walk around unattached?”

“You know what? I’ve been asking myself that exact question.”
Janet moved in closer to Eddie as if she were in a trance. “Some men just don’t know a good thing when they see it.”

“You need to spend more time up north, baby. Cold weather makes for warmer hearts.”

“Excuse me, Romeo and Juliet,” Terri interrupted. “Do I need to pull out my hip boots, ’cause it’s getting deep up in here?”

“Jealous!” Janet stuck out her tongue.

After their hormones calmed down, Eddie and Janet took a seat on the sofa. Julian sat on the love seat opposite them with Terri by his side.

“So tell me, Terri—what is it that you and Janet have in common?”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, you’re obviously a mature woman, a professional, and you seem to be very—uh, conservative. Janet is more free-spirited and earthy, and she’s very youthful.” Eddie gave Janet a very enticing look. She was loving every minute of it. “I guess I’m curious about how two women who seem so different could be such close friends, especially with the generation gap.”

“Well,
Eddie
!” Terri sounded irritated. “What you don’t know about Ms. Earthy is that she’s at the top of her class at TSU and about to complete her master’s in psychology. So as you can see, we do have a lot in common, intellectually and professionally. And by the way, I’m not
that
old and she’s not
that
young.”

“Well, excuse me,
Doctor
Ross, I didn’t mean to hit a nerve.”

“No need to apologize, I’m perfectly secure with who I am. Besides, there are plenty of men who are perfectly comfortable dating a mature woman,” Terri said confidently. “Maybe that’s an indication as to how mature and secure they are.”

“Touché!” Julian yelled out.

“But since we’re on the subject of friendship,” Terri continued, “I’m curious about a few things myself, like what it is that
you and Julian have in common. Your personalities are total opposites.”

“Do you want the grown-folks answer to that question or the PG-thirteen?”

“We’re all adults here!”

“Okay, then.” Eddie sat up on the edge of the sofa and looked Terri dead in her eyes. Julian put his head down and gritted his teeth. There was no telling how brutally honest Eddie would be.

“Well, when we met back in high school, I would have to say we shared three things in common: our interest in sports, our love of fast cars, and our appetite for chasing pussy. But as we have matured, we’ve more worthwhile things in common, like love of our career and family.”

“I didn’t know you had kids,” Janet asked nervously.

“I don’t, but I would love to have a family someday.”

Julian let out a sigh of relief.

“Well, on that note, let’s eat!” Julian walked toward the door.

Eddie and Terri were still sitting on the sofas staring at one another like two pit bulls. She didn’t like him and he didn’t like her, but neither of them wanted to spoil the afternoon, so they let it go.

“Hey, Janet, would you mind taking me on a tour of Houston?” Eddie said while holding her hand. “It’s my first time here. I would love to see the sights.”

“Sure, if it’s okay with Julian.”

“Please go. I mean, be my guest, he’s all yours.”