Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-Being (50 page)

Day 6: Be sexy and sensual.

Affirmation:
“I am Aphrodite—I am a goddess of divine pleasure, beauty, and passion. And I am irresistible.”

Prayer:
“Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who owns and enjoys her own beauty and sensuality.”

Sexuality and sensuality are connected with the pelvic bowl, and we need to get out of our heads and back into our hips. Doing so also helps the brain! We also need time, space, and freedom to experience pleasure in our bodies, and to honor ourselves and our desire for sensual pleasures. That means carving out time for ourselves—uninterrupted. That’s the delight waiting for you on Day 6.

Reconnect with your pelvic bowl.
There’s much to be gained from reconnecting with your pelvic bowl through movement, touch, and focus. Swing your hips or belly dance to music. Self-pleasure, or explore your erotic anatomy with your hands (not a vibrator) and maybe a mirror too—and learn the feeling of slowly and sensually contracting your pelvic floor muscles, as described on
How to Support Your Pelvic Floor
.

Create a sensual playlist.
Music goes right to the emotional centers of the brain. To further enhance your ability to connect with your sensual self, I suggest a “self-cultivation” playlist of music that you listen to while doing hip circles or self-pleasuring.
Creating this list and updating it is sheer pleasure! Here are some of my favorites:

~ “Feelin’ Love” (Paula Cole)

~ “Sacred Love” (Sting)

~ “Glory Box” (Portishead)

~ “Porcelain” (Moby)

~ “Cream” (Prince)

~ “Lick” (Joi)

~ “Beautiful” (Meshell Ndegeocello)

~ “Chocolate” (Kylie Minogue)

~ “I’m Kissing You” (Des’ree)

~ “Buttons” (Pussycat Dolls)

~ “I Touch Myself” (Divinyls)

~ “Slow Down” (Morcheeba)

Use aromatherapy.
Like music, smell has a powerful effect on the emotions. Use perfume, scented candles, essential oils, or aromatherapy to bring more pleasure to whatever activity you enjoy. You can look up aromatherapy oils and see which are typically the most relaxing, or you can just use whichever make you feel calm. See Resources for some of my favorites.

Enjoy luscious lubrication.
Many women experience vaginal dryness. Again, this is very easy to remedy, allowing you to enjoy penetration. There are many effective lubricants available. You can even use organic coconut oil.

Own the power of your “Lady Garden.”
Ob/gyn Dr. Sara Gottfried calls the female genitals the “Lady Garden”—a term that I love! This area of the body has great power once it is awakened. Do the following: Sometime today when you are getting a cup of coffee or standing in a checkout line, bring your attention to your Lady Garden. Feel the tingling that happens with attention. Then smile at someone or give someone a compliment.
Notice what happens—especially with men. Just the thought of this makes you smile, doesn’t it?

Day 7: Love without losing yourself.

Affirmation:
“I am a unique embodiment of Divine Love. My life is powered by my connection with Source. I feel whole, complete, and lacking in nothing.”

Prayer:
“Divine Beloved, please let me feel the truth about myself. Let me truly feel whole, complete, and lacking in nothing.”

Relationships are meant to connect us to our hearts and replenish us, not drain us. Today, take pleasure in your relationships, starting with your relationship with yourself. Make it a love affair—imagine you are the love of your life. How would you treat yourself? If you have a partner, imagine that the person you’re with relishes the fact that, ultimately, it’s
you
who are the love of your life.

Taking pleasure in your relationships also means saying no when someone else’s needs become a burden for you. This can be a challenge because many of us have spent years putting the needs of others before our own. Saying no is very likely to fill you with doubt and guilt at first. With practice, you’ll find out how freeing this is. There’s a reason why my favorite chapter in Cheryl Richardson’s book
The Art of Extreme Self-Care
(Hay House, 2009) is the one titled “Let Me Disappoint You.” You will
never
be able to become ageless if you’re always donating your energy to others at your own expense!

Have fun with your tribe.
Have a girls’ night, invite friends over, or call a friend to go out and have fun. If you’re married or partnered, go out just for the fun of it and don’t put pressure on yourself to make it a “perfect” date night. Let go of any agenda other than having fun bonding with each other.

Set a healthy boundary.
As you wake up in the morning, set the intention to clarify or set a boundary with someone. It could be a friend or family member, or it could be someone you work with—or even an acquaintance or stranger. Remember that when you honor your own needs, you’re inspiring others to honor theirs too, so when asked to do something you don’t want to do, don’t be afraid to say, “No, I can’t. I simply can’t.” In fact, memorize this phrase! Be assertive by smiling and repeating the same simple statement as often as needed: “No. I just don’t feel comfortable with that.” “No, thank you.” “I understand. Again, I simply can’t.” Saying no can be very invigorating! And if you feel someone is looking to you to rescue him or her, you can say something like, “I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I know you’re going to find the solution.” Or “I’m so sorry. I wish I had the solution for you, but I have faith that it will come to you.” We often feel compelled to rescue others in order to soothe our own worry and sense of powerlessness. Remember, people often go through difficulties because they need to reconnect with their own Divine Source. You are actually causing them harm when you bail them out. Don’t stand in their way just to alleviate your own worry that they won’t be okay. Be loving and supportive, and assist someone if it feels right to do so and won’t deplete you. But if your heart (or body) tells you that the best course of action is to express compassion and not take on their troubles and try to fix them, listen to it!

Reflect on your relationship with a man in your life.
All of us have men in our lives. Spend some time thinking about how a man or boy you care about is feeling pressured to be a certain way regardless of how he feels. Whether it’s a son who feels he has to be good at sports or a brother who feels he can’t show his vulnerability and fear when it comes to dealing with your aging parents, there’s a man in your life who can benefit when you connect with your ageless goddess self and let go of old ideas about how we are “supposed” to act and feel to fit into a culture that diminishes all that’s feminine or womanly.

Express gratitude for what you learned from your mother or daughter, and work to heal that relationship.
There’s nothing
like the mother-daughter bond to cause you extreme joy or extreme pain. Whatever your mother-daughter relationships are, however troubled they might be, there is something your soul can learn from that. Honor and cherish that today. Then, for your own sake, make a move toward healing the mother-daughter bond you have with your mother or daughter. It can be something small, like simply telling her, “I haven’t said this in a while, but I love you.” It can be setting a boundary that’s healthy for both of you (for example, not picking up the phone when your mother calls if you know that she’s just going to complain). Even if you don’t have daughters or if your mother has passed, think about your girlfriends or female family members who occasionally drain you. Learn to express your love to yourself by doing a cord-cutting exercise to ensure that you’re not maintaining any draining energetic cords to your late mother or anyone else.

Day 8: Eat like a goddess.

Affirmation:
“I eat slowly and sensually, with great pleasure, savoring every bite.”

Prayer:
“Divine Beloved, change me into someone who enjoys my body and the healthy food I choose to eat. Help me make the best possible choices for nourishing myself.”

For many of us, food has become a chore, a threat, a necessity—anything but a pleasure. For today, banish the food police and your internal guilt and judgment about what you eat, and put fresh and delicious foods on the menu. Nourish your body while truly enjoying your food. Eat sensually, like a divine goddess infusing her body with the luscious fruits of the earth.

Savor the foods you eat, whatever they are.
Arrange food on your plate beautifully, and then eat slowly and sensually as though you were slow dancing in the moonlight. You might also make a point of eating with people whose company gives you pleasure. As you eat, pay attention to how good it feels and what
a delicious experience eating is. Try to eat as healthfully as possible, and if you end up indulging in a treat, relish every bite of it. Chew slowly! Inhale the aroma of your food or drink before you bring it to your lips. Then enjoy every mouthful or sip. Think about how it feels to have a pleasurable relationship with food that’s good for you—and how it feels to enjoy a treat without feeling guilty or ashamed. Eat as though you are making love with your food.

Try a new, healthy food or recipe—especially if it involves vegetables.
Let’s face it—underneath all the advice about diet, and beyond all our individual differences, every one of us could eat more vegetables. Sometimes it’s just easier to reach for something else to put on our plates. Make a point today of trying a new vegetable or preparing a new vegetable dish. You can find recipes on the Internet very easily and even search by vegetable, which is helpful when a particular vegetable is in season, plentiful, and at the height of its taste and nutritional quality.

Do tapping, using EFT (the Emotional Freedom Techniques) before each meal or snack.
The technique, which you can see demonstrated in videos at
www.TheTappingSolution.com
, will help you to release any shame or guilt you have about what you’ve eaten in the past, your weight, and your relationship with food. Try it for a day, using it before you begin to eat a meal or snack. Pay attention to how you feel during the exercise and afterward.

Day 9: Move joyously and sensually—like a cat!

Affirmation:
“My body was designed to move and stretch and feel strong, flexible, and alive. I love the feeling.”

Prayer:
“Divine Beloved, change me into someone who enjoys moving in my body. Help me find ways to move my body throughout the day, in ways that build my strength and vitality.”

Don’t worry about “exercise.” Today’s the day to get back in touch with your body by moving it in ways that give you pleasure, stretch your muscles, and get your energy flowing so that you feel alive.

Dance or have fun trying a new type of movement.
Whether you dance or do interval training, whether you go to an exercise class or simply do some yoga poses in your living room, move your body and enjoy doing it. If you dance or hike for exercise, do it a little differently today. Walk in a place where you’ve never walked before, or try a new dance class. And pay attention to what feels good and what doesn’t when you stretch or move. Does a little discomfort make you feel good while you’re doing it? Does it feel good afterward? Be honest with yourself about how the movement feels, and don’t do it simply because it’s on your list or because you associate exercise with weight loss. Switch to a more joyful form of movement for today and see how that feels for you. You might make a playlist and dance around the house dusting or decluttering, or get together with friends and go for a walk outside.

If you sit most of the day, set a timer and stand up every 15 minutes.
Do a little stretching or yoga, even if just for a minute. Do some hip circles and some stretches. Notice how much more energized you feel at the end of the day.

Practice balancing.
Stand on one foot (when you’re not wearing heels). Close your eyes. Balance for as long as you can. Repeat on the other foot. Do this throughout the day.

Pretend you are a cat.
Stretch like a cat. Yawn like a cat or dog. And really feel how great it feels to tense your muscles as you stretch. Do a catlike stretch a few times throughout the day.

Day 10: Be gorgeous.

Affirmations:
“I am a beautiful, divine, gorgeous creature.”
Try saying this while looking deeply into your eyes in a mirror in the morning and again at bedtime:
“I love you, gorgeous woman. I really love you.”

Prayer:
“Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who sees how very beautiful I am.”

Day 10 is for connecting with your inner Venus, the energy of beauty that lies within you, and venerating it simply because you deserve to feel and see yourself as gorgeous. Today is a day for redefining what it means to be beautiful and for discovering ageless beauty. Be conscious of cultural portals about beauty today and reject them. Don’t dress for your age!

Do a beauty ritual or have a beauty treatment.
Whether you do it at home or at a salon, do something to enhance your beauty or adorn yourself—and take pleasure in doing it. What’s important isn’t how much time or money you spend attending to what you look like, but enjoying the ritual of adorning and enhancing your body so that you feel beautiful. If you’re not comfortable getting a facial or manicure, go to a boutique and get some personalized service in trying on and choosing clothes, do a hair treatment at home, or go to a makeup counter for a free makeover. Here’s a simple home beauty ritual: pour a tablespoon of sugar or salt into your palm with some olive oil, mix it, and rub it into your hands to soften them. Then wash them with gentle soap. Luxuriate in the feel of your soft hands.

Close a cultural portal about beauty.
Wear something that you once might have thought was “too young” or “too daring” for you to wear. Or style your hair or nails differently, in a way that suits you, regardless of whether someone might say that it looks too youthful on you. If there’s something in your closet that you bought but never wore because it seemed too “out there” compared to what you usually wear, put it on today. Be sure to affirm your beauty and sense of style—and remember
that taking chances with how you adorn yourself is part of an ageless attitude.