Go Your Own Way (26 page)

They were both silent for a few minutes while Lennox tucked the envelope into the nightstand drawer. She was better off there, away from him.

“Does she live with your grandparents?” Will asked.

Lennox sat back and let Will wrap him up again in his strong embrace. This wonderful, beautiful boy wanted to be a part of his life and yet, Lennox hesitated. If he told his story, if he pried that door open after so long, he couldn’t return. Will would know so much that he’d told nobody else before. The barrier he’d worked so long to hold up would vanish to dust. What would he be left with then?

Will eased him back between his thighs so he was resting against his chest. For one brief moment, Lennox thought he might have this—this uncomfortable pinching in his chest that he wanted to call love, but feared to admit it out loud.

“They live in Richmond,” Lennox said. “We all did once. Dad moved us north the summer after Mama died.”

“And she’s back with them?”

“They’ve got custody, have since I was fifteen.” Lennox wrapped a stray curl around his finger and forced himself to keep talking. Will was curious, he cared, and maybe Lennox couldn’t offer him one truth, but he could share this with him. “It was a few months after I got locked up. They looked into how Dad was taking care of Lucy and realized he wasn’t. I was the one who got her to school on time and helped with homework and made dinner while he drank. So my grandparents took her, and then he drank himself stupid and wrapped his car around a tree on his way to visit me.”

Will moved as if he was about to speak, but instead he tightened his arms and stroked Lennox’s chest.

“My grandfather’s the reason I got out and into Lancaster,” Lennox said. He cleared his throat, but it remained tight. “Bunch of rich brats mostly. Some of them were all right. My dad never could have afforded that place. He couldn’t even remember to pay the bills. I forged a lot of his checks, handled the money he bothered to bring home. Took up a paper route and washed cars and cut lawns in the summer to cover what he spent on beer. My grandfather cut him off after a few years, but he didn’t get custody until Dad died. He wasn’t ever good enough for him anyway. Too many bad choices, not smart enough, no ambition, picked the wrong woman. Nothing he did was worthwhile for my grandfather.”

“That’s absurd,” Will said, his voice sparking with anger. “How could anyone do that to their own son? If my dad ever—I would feel so ashamed if he did that to me.”

“Only bad fathers do that,” Lennox said. “Grandfather loved me though, even if I’m not all white. I was smart, I got things done; I was too headstrong for my dad to keep a handle on.” Lennox shrugged and tried to squirm out of Will’s arms, but Will caught him and held on. “He’s a big attorney, spent years blaming my dad for everything he didn’t like about him. Then for all the trouble I got in. That’s why we moved, to get away from him.”

“So he sent you to Lancaster to get you up to his standards?” Will asked. “And then here to—to—”

“Shove me out of sight, yeah,” Lennox said. “I was redeemable until I was queer.”

“That’s not—you
aren’t
.” Will took a deep breath that Lennox could feel against his back. “You’ve always been gay, doesn’t he get that? How stupid is this man?”

“Depends on who you ask,” Lennox said. “He’s paying for this room, at least. Gave me a card for an account he’s been putting money into. It’s like… like he hopes if I see how the world will treat me here, I’ll decide I’m wrong. But I’m not. I’ve known since I was little. Mama and Dad both knew before I had a reason to realize it was weird.”

“It’s not weird,” Will said. He shuffled around on the bed so fast that Lennox fell back into the pillows. Will was on him imme­diately. A rough kiss met his lips, but it was salty and shaky. “This—us—we aren’t weird.”

“No, don’t cry, okay? It’s just a bunch of stupid shit that doesn’t matter.”

“But it
does
matter. You are so important to me. Don’t you get that?”

“Its old news, all right?” Lennox said. “I don’t want to dwell on it anymore, when you’re here and I keep feeling like—I can’t wrap my mind around anything with you, you know that?”

“I can, and I’m—I think we’re—”

But Lennox never found out what Will struggled to say. Some­thing slammed into the door and they both bolted upright. Will toppled off the bed with the blanket still wrapped around himself, rolling right into the little refrigerator.

“William Elliot Osborne, I am going to break this door down with my heels if you don’t answer me right now!”

After another loud slap, the door opened a few inches. As Will yelped and tried to figure out how to stand, Lennox leaped up. He slid his trunk out of the way and flung the door open.

“Finally,” Karen said as she brushed her hair out of her eyes. “Now what the hell is—
oh my god
!”

She clamped her hands over her eyes, spun around, and over-corrected her balance. With a splash, she plopped into a water-filled pothole.

“What? Something wrong with my birthday suit?” Lennox asked as Will inched up behind him, wearing blankets like a toga. “Will seemed to enjoy it last night.”

Will squealed and stumbled into the bathroom. The door slammed shut as Karen stood up. Her backside was soaked and muddy.

“So tell me, since your timing is consistently impeccable, do you have him micro-chipped or something? ‘Cause I gotta tell you, my examination last night was more thorough than any doctor’s and I didn’t feel one.”

“I brought—ugh,” Karen wiped off her pants and mud dribbled down her pant legs. “I’ve got a change of clothes for Will in the car. Can I come in or not?”

She carefully shifted her gaze from herself, up along the wall, and then to the safety of his face. He shrugged, let the door creak open and then face-planted on the bed. Maybe his nakedness would make her turn around and leave them alone. From the bathroom, he could hear Will muttering. It was a long stream of babbling that punctuated the dripping of the sink.

“Lennox, you better be putting your underwear back on!” Will screeched through the wall. “Just because I want to see it, doesn’t mean Karen does. Oh my
god
!”

Lennox sighed, but got up and took a new pair out of his trunk. He snapped the waistband against his hips and fell back into bed. After getting comfortable on his side, he looked over at the doorway. Karen stood there, staring around the room with a look reminiscent of Will’s first glimpse. It was worse, though, if the way Lennox’s stomach twisted was any indication. Will had accepted it rather quickly, but Karen didn’t seem to be able to. He wished she would leave.

“Shut the damn door. And shove the trunk back behind it, long way against the wall, if you’re staying.”

With a grunt, he buried his face in Will’s pillow and breathed deeply. The door creaked shut and the trunk scraped into place. Lennox shut his eyes and yawned. For too many nights he’d gone without sleep. Even last night had been more of a nap than anything restful. It was probably already too late to make it to school, if Karen was up and about, but a nap would be nice once they left. Maybe, in a few hours, thoughts of being in love wouldn’t be tattooed on his brain. It was a nice feeling, a wonderful thought, but it wasn’t something he was capable of. For him, nothing that kind could enter his life, not in this place. Lennox drifted off to sleep.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god.”

Will hopped into the bathtub, hoisting the blanket-toga up around him, and yanked the shower curtain closed. He wasn’t here. Karen hadn’t seen anything. This morning was a very vivid dream caused by too many late nights at the hospital. Then he remembered Lennox standing naked in the doorway.

“Lennox, you better be putting your underwear back on!” Will screeched through the wall. “Just because I want to see it, doesn’t mean Karen does. Oh my
god
!”

After that, it was quiet. He stood there in the tub, fidgeting, until he heard a soft knock on the door.

“Will? It’s Karen. I’ve got a change of clothes out here.”

Will took a shaky breath and nodded. Then realized he was nodding at a shower curtain.

“O-okay. Can you leave it on the sink?”

“Sure. I fell in a puddle outside, so I’m going to go back home and change. Do you want to shower here or there?”

“Here,” Will said, his voice cracking.

“All right, I’ll be back in a few.”

Will stood there, listening until he heard the front door open and close. Quick as he could, he darted out of the bathroom, snatched the clothes off the bed and hurried back inside. But before he could get the shower on, he heard the door again. This time he did poke his head out.

“It’s just me,” Karen’s voice called. He saw her reflection in the mirror and hid himself further behind the door. “I still had a change in my car. You shower and I’ll change these muddy pants, okay?”

Will closed the door and hurried into the shower. He took his time cleaning off, and even more time figuring out whether his ass needed more than a gentle scrub. By the time he shut the faucet off, the water was ice cold and his ass was aching from standing for so long. He hopped out, got dressed, brushed his teeth and took a deep breath. It was only Karen. At least it wasn’t his dad, although he’d rather have Ben here shouting at him, purple in the face, than still lying in that hospital bed.

He eased the door open and stepped back into the main room. Karen was sitting at the foot of the bed and watching Lennox sleep.

“This is so much worse than I imagined,” Karen said. “That door… he can’t stay here. This isn’t safe.”

On the bed, Lennox whimpered and tensed. His arms wrapped around the pillow and clutched it to his chest. They both watched as he buried his face in it and breathed deeply. Something about the scent must have relaxed him because Lennox gave a con­tented sigh and a little smile pulled at his lips. He mumbled a word that Will couldn’t hear, but Karen sucked in a deep breath.

“He’s sweeter when he’s not awake,” Karen said. She brushed Lennox’s curls off his forehead. “He deserves so much more than this place.”

Will nodded and sat down with her. He winced a little, but Karen didn’t comment.

“I wish he always looked this peaceful,” Will said. “I think I might… ”

But he couldn’t say it. Somehow, it felt like cheating to tell Karen he was in love before he said it to Lennox.

Karen understood. “Be grounded, yes. Definitely.”

“But—” Will stopped at the look she gave him. “It was stupid. I just wanted to make sure he was okay and it’s his birthday and I didn’t know and—I’m sorry. I’m not very good at telling you things.”

“No, you are, just not recently. I can see what’s got you so distracted. But I still want a full explanation. School started three hours ago.”

For the next quarter of an hour, Will told her about everything that had happened since he’d ditched her last night. He started with the men a few doors down, and then finding out it was Lennox’s birthday and that Lennox had planned on celebrating it alone. He left out several important details, but Karen didn’t ask for them.

“I should have called or told you I wasn’t going straight home—”

“Or home at all,” Karen said.

“Then I got here and I couldn’t leave him to celebrate alone,” Will finished. “I hate everything about him sometimes, but he means a lot to me now. I can’t even explain it to myself, but he does.” His eyes drifted to Lennox curled up on the bed, and a fond smile lit up his face. “I don’t know what I’d have done without him since Dad’s still… ”

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Karen said. “You don’t have to explain your feelings to me. If you’re feeling them, that’s all that matters.”

“Thanks.”

“But you’re still grounded for a week.”

“That’s… fair. I guess I should wake him up for school. How much have we missed?” Will moved to shake Lennox awake, but Karen stopped him.

“It’s almost eleven,” Karen told him. “By the time you get there, it’ll be lunch. I say—and don’t think of this as a treat—but I say we all do brunch for his birthday.”

“Really?” Will beamed. “Oh, that’ll be great. You can really get to know him now!”

He shook Lennox gently.

“Len, hey, wake up, baby. We’re going out for brunch.”

Lennox grumbled and rolled over. Karen stood up and stretched.

“I’m surprised you call him that,” she said. “I thought it annoyed you when he says it.”

“It does—did.” Will bit his lip and shook Lennox more vigor­ously. “A lot of his stupid things don’t bug me anymore. Well, not as much.”

Will went back to shaking Lennox, but it didn’t do any good. He kept sleeping and just rolled to his other side. Karen and Will both inhaled sharply. Running along Lennox’s back was a thin scar. It followed the curve of his ribs on his back, stopping about three inches from his spine.

“It’s a surgical scar,” Karen said at once. “Several years old, by the looks of it.”

“It’s smooth,” Will said as he ran a finger over it. From before his year in a detention center or after? Will had a few ideas about it, but without Lennox’s confirmation, he couldn’t be sure. “No wonder I never felt it. And it’s on his back, so when we were—I didn’t see it.”

As his finger traced the scar with more force, Lennox bolted up, grabbed the first part of Will his hands found, and yanked him forward. A fist was suddenly right in front of Will’s eyes, but it stopped in mid-air. Karen stumbled back and crashed into the dresser.

Lennox squinted up at him before letting go as if he’d been stung.

“Don’t touch that.” Lennox flinched as he ran his hand over the scar and glowered at them. “Don’t fucking touch that unless you want your head knocked off.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed, but kept one hand on the scar.

Will stiffened at his tone. “I’m sorry.” It alarmed him how fast Lennox could shift emotions. The anger was already fading as Lennox caught sight of his expression.

“No, you didn’t—you don’t—sorry.” Lennox scooted closer and dipped his forehead until it was against Will’s. “That scar is just… a lot of bad memories.”

Will nodded and accepted the kiss Lennox pressed to his lips. They could spend all day here, kissing and talking, and maybe then he’d know this piece of Lennox’s life, too. Except—

Karen cleared her throat and dropped her hand onto Will’s shoulder. Will and Lennox shared a brief smile before looking at her.

“Get dressed,” Karen said to Lennox. “We’re going out for brunch.”

Will beamed again, even as Lennox shied away from him. “Yeah, there’s this wonderful little buffet across town, and I just know you’ll love their—” Will paused and his grin vanished. “Can you go that far? It’s by the little auto-shop on the road into town.”

“Uh, yeah, I can, but I don’t have the, um, the—” Lennox snapped his mouth shut. It took a moment for Will to cotton on.

Karen, however, was a few paces ahead. “It’s my treat,” she said with a smile. “Consider it a birthday present.”

Lennox turned to him in disbelief. “You
told
—”

“I skipped out on going home again last night,” Will reminded him. “I had to give her an explanation, didn’t I?” He glanced back at Karen. “Can we go somewhere that sells clothes, too? I want to get Lennox something for the winter.”

“You what?” Lennox squawked as he was hauled to his feet.

Will ignored his bafflement and looked him over. “Deep blues and greens would be nice with your skin tone. Maybe crimson.”

“You are not—”

“Shut up and get dressed,” Will told him. He got up and dug a clean outfit out of Lennox’s trunk. “Unless you want to show your Ninja Turtle boxers to the entire town.”

“But—”

“You can’t expect to survive winter with a busted heater and flimsy shirts,” Will said in exasperation. “Right, Karen?”

Lennox snorted. “Well, forgive me if I don’t have—have floral print button ups o-or—”

“Ugh, really? You think I would waste my money on floral print
anything
?”

Karen chuckled as they continued to bicker, and finally they forced Lennox toward the bathroom for a shower.

“Take your time, sweetheart,” Karen said, and Lennox flinched at the name. “We’ll wait out here.”

“And make it quick,” Will added. “If we’re going to find what fits you best, then we’re going to need a lot of time trying everything on.”

“Are you shitting me?” Lennox said in disbelief as he paused in the doorway. “The stores are open for at least another nine hours.”

“Exactly. Shopping isn’t for the faint of heart.” Will snapped his fingers in Lennox’s face and nudged him into the bathroom. “Get moving.”

Lennox huffed and slammed the bathroom door in Will’s face. They listened to him banging around in there for a few minutes before the shower came on. Lennox yelped —Will had used all of the hot water.

“Damn it, Osborne!”

It took Lennox all of ten minutes to shower, dress and brush his teeth. He elbowed Will hard when he met them back in the doorway. “Like it isn’t cold enough in here, you hot water thief.”

“You chose to go back to sleep,” Will said. He looped his arm through Lennox’s and guided him back outside to Karen’s car. His insides felt as if they were bouncing as they climbed into the back seat and buckled in. For a few hours, they could be just like any other young couple in town, and Lennox could forget all of his troubles. They snuggled up together and Will murmured about clothing ideas all the way across town. Lennox had a little input, but he let Will decide most of it—Will’s fashion jargon went over his head.

When they got to the restaurant, Karen held Will back at the door. “Even your dad couldn’t say no to how happy you are right now,” she told him. “When he wakes up, he’ll give Lennox a chance, too.”

Will’s stomach jolted. For close to a week now, the very idea of his dad waking up felt like the false memories he tried to create about his mother. Someone else’s life, another time when he hadn’t been around. A month had passed since Ben had gone into his coma, and some part of Will had accepted that reality.

They settled into a booth in the corner. The few people there stared at Lennox, and at Will and Lennox for holding hands, but nobody said anything. Lennox headed for the buffet as soon as their waitress took their drink orders and soon came back with three towering plates. Will eyed the little mountains of food, thinking for a moment that Lennox had grabbed him something to eat.

Then Lennox dug into all three at once. It was unbelievable that he could eat so much. Will grabbed his own plate, and tried to keep count of Lennox’s. After eight waffles, three plates of scrambled eggs with cheese, two bowls of grapes and orange slices, and a small hill of sausages and bacon, Will finally lost count. Lennox had a stack of empty plates bigger than the Empire State Building in front of him by the time he set his fork down and groaned.

“I might explode,” Lennox grumbled. He leaned back, but the arm that had remained wound around Will’s waist continued to rub Will’s side. “Don’t poke me, okay?”

“Huh?” A pleasant shiver ran down Will’s spine as Lennox’s thumb brushed the skin between his jeans and the hem of his shirt. Since they’d sat down with their food, his arm hadn’t left Will’s side. Lennox had never seemed attentive, but today proved otherwise. It was a nice steadying presence with the burn still flaring in his ass and lower back.

“Here.” Lennox smiled as he popped a grape into Will’s mouth. It was worth it, even if the two old men across the room glared at them.

After brunch, they headed to the store across the street. Will filled two carts with shirts for Lennox to try on. He had to be disciplined to keep himself from buying half of them. They were too thin for winter. It was fun, but strange, to stand in the dressing room with Lennox, handing him shirts and laughing at all of the ridiculous things Lennox allowed him to put on him. Karen sat in a chair outside the entryway and watched them, offering her own opinion when Lennox grumbled at some of the choices.

“I am
not
wearing this,” Lennox said at a particularly thick sweater. “No, I’m already starting to itch. I hate wool.”

An unmistakable sparkle lit Lennox’s eyes, and Will loved see­ing it. Lennox was having fun. For the first time since they’d met, Lennox wasn’t pretending or being rude or trying to shove himself into Will’s pants. His life—even if for one afternoon—was simple, a normalcy that Lennox needed, something concrete and warm. This was the life Lennox should have, and that Will hoped he could find with them. Lennox’s own family might not be as warm and accepting, but Karen was willing to offer him this chance.

“No—
no,
Will, that hat looks ridic—”

Will yanked Lennox into his arms, while Karen laughed and stuffed a big feathery hat onto his curly head.

Will giggled as he frog-marched Lennox to the mirror. “It matches your eyes.”

“I look like a peacock,” Lennox said with a huff. He glared first at his reflection and then Will’s face over his shoulder. “You make a lot of bad fashion choices if this is something you like.”

“You’re a very handsome peacock,” Will told him. “All the dreary, dull-colored lady peacocks won’t be able to keep their beaks away.”

“They will if they know what’s good for them. I like my dates well-equipped in the pants.”

As Lennox arched his ass against him, Will laughed and gave him a wink in the mirror. Behind them, Karen cleared her throat. Lennox stayed put, but Will felt his face grow warm at the reminder that they weren’t alone. It was easy to forget about Karen with Lennox around; it was easy to forget about everything with Lennox next to him.