Gnome On The Range (18 page)

I climbed out of my car, went over to Ty. His window was rolled down.

“Later,” Ty said. I read it two ways, as in ‘see you later’ and in ‘later we
will
have sex.’

Chapter Thirteen

“I swear your life was as boring as could be before all this hubbub started,” Goldie commented the next night while inventorying lickable body lotion at the store.

The phone rang.

“No kidding,” I replied, taking over the lotion stocking. Goldie liked to answer her own phone.

“Goldilocks. We’re open until midnight. Yes, we have bondage items. What are you looking for specifically?” Goldie pulled out a pen and scrap paper. “Uh huh, okay, right,” she mumbled as she took notes. “If you’re interested in all that, you may just want to start dating a police officer.” Goldie laughed. “We have everything on your list. Stop in and we’ll get you all set up.”

She came back to the aisle and started stacking the dusting powders. Strawberry and piña colada were the current choices. “The boys called me this morning.”

“I know,” I said wistfully. “They called me, too. They were very excited about going to the beach today.”

Goldie patted my shoulder. “They’ll be fine.”

Of course they were having too much fun to be homesick, but what about me?

“So how was last night?” Obviously Goldie decided to change the subject. She, no doubt, missed the boys, too.

I stopped shelving and grinned at her. “Ty came with me.”

That stopped Goldie’s hand mid-motion. “You’re kidding me.” She laughed again. “That man has a thi-ing for you. If you can’t see it, you’re an idiot. He went to a bachelorette party. That’s love.”

I put the lotion down. “No way,” I said, nervous. Sweat formed on my upper lip.

“Have you ever, in your entire life, heard of a man going to a bachelorette party?”

“Well….”

“One that’s not a stripper.”

“No.” I thought back to Ty at the bachelorette party, how miserable he was. Does miserable mean love? How the hell would I know?

“I’m surprised you didn’t go with him last night to his parents instead of staying with us.” Goldie stood, dusted off her jeans. She wore a matching jean jacket, white blouse and gold hoop earrings. Her hair was left down long, curling artfully about her shoulders.

I, on the other hand, wore jeans and plain shirt, this time in green. I had simple black flats on my feet. My hair, too, was left down, but I habitually tucked it behind my ears.

“I wanted to go with him. I was anxious to learn more about Morty and his gruesome death. But I wasn’t prepared to meet Ty’s parents.”

The bell on the door dinged the arrival of a customer.

“Hello!” Goldie called out. “Let us know if you need any help.”

She turned back to me and looked me up and down. “I’ll say you weren’t prepared. When you came to pick up those boxes for the party last night you wore black pants and a white shirt. You call that date-wear? Someone might take you for a waitress.” She all but glared daggers at me. “How are you going to land a man in an outfit like that, let alone win over his parents?”

“I don’t think they would have noticed what I wore with a chopped up dead body in their pig sty.”

Goldie moved her head from side to side, contemplating. “You have a point there. But,” she pointed her finger at me, “you’re not having sex with his parents.”

“I’m not having sex with Ty either,” I grumbled.

“I know how to take care of that.”

“Not another box!”

“No, but that couldn’t hurt either. Wear something sexy and I guarantee that will change.”

A man wearing a camo T-shirt with jeans interrupted us. Mid-twenties. I pegged him for a video rental. “I’m looking for Tappin that White Ass 2. Do you have that in stock?” Yup, video.

“Karl, how are you tonight?” Goldie asked the man, making small talk as she walked behind the main counter. “Have you seen the first one yet?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“All right then.” She turned to the wall of DVD’s, looked under the T’s and found the film. “You know, I think there’s something else you might like.” She hadn’t turned around because she was still searching. “Here it is.” She placed it on the glass counter and smiled. “Bubble Butt Buffet. On the house.”

“Thanks, Miss Goldie.” Karl handed over his money and left, two videos in a brown paper bag.

Goldie liked to treat her customers right. She knew Karl would be back. She did the same for almost everyone. And almost everyone treated Goldie right. If they saw her in the grocery store, they said hello. If she needed help, people lined up to offer her aid. It paid to be nice. And offer buy-one-get-one-free porn.

A few more customers came through, buying and browsing. After an hour, we were back to restocking, this time various tubes and bottles of lube.

“What did Ty learn about the dead man?”

I laughed.

“What’s so funny?” she wondered.

“You. Only you would ask about my dating wardrobe before a dead body.”

“Well?”

She wasn’t deterred.

“Fine. It was Morty Moore. Ty said he could be identified, once the parts were cleaned off of pig junk, pretty easily. The hacker didn’t do a very good hacking job.” I grimaced. “Besides, I guess his wallet was left on top of one of the fence posts.”

“His poor parents.” Goldie took a moment to be sad, knowing what his parents were going through, but brightened back up. “That’s some stupid killer. Why would you go to all the effort to chop him up and leave the ID? Even I wouldn’t do that. I’d even chuck the head, the hands and feet in different places so he couldn’t be identified.”

I wrinkled my nose and looked at Goldie funny. “You’re gross.”

“Aren’t I right?”

She was, but that was beside the point. “Yeah, but Ty and the police think he was meant to be identified. Morty had nothing to do with the Strickland’s ranch. It’s nowhere near where he lived or where he worked. Ty thinks they dumped him there as a message.” I rubbed my finger over the letters on the plastic lube bottle absently. “Whoever is doing this knows Ty and I are…are something. They know the quickest way to get to Ty would be to mess with his family. He thinks the killer is telling him he knows about Ty’s interest in me and what can happen. To all of us.”

“Well, hell.”

***

“Let me guess, Goldie called you,” I grumbled when I opened my door to Kelly the next morning. I should have been surprised to see her, but I wasn’t. I’d spent the night in my own home, doors locked. I liked Goldie and Paul, but I wasn’t moving into their house until this fiasco was resolved. Ty had been home, but probably snoring by the time I’d gotten off work. Having him two doors down had been reassuring, although in my bed would have been better.

 “Show me the coffee.” She pushed past me into the kitchen and stopped short, pointing at the gnomes sitting on the counter. “What are they doing here?” Sounded as if they were some bad guys screwing up my life. Maybe they were.

“The boys wanted to bring them when we went to the airport. I brought them in from the car and left them there.”

Kelly picked George the Gnome up and twisted and turned him around. Eyed him expertly. “Nice glue job.” She put it down and turned to the coffee pot.

“Thanks.” I’d had plenty of practice fixing things, doing craft projects and making Halloween costumes with the glue gun. Kelly trumped me by five kids and had a Masters degree in gluing arts. When she gave glue compliments, it was serious.

Once she’d filled a mug, she opened the fridge. “Where’s the milk?”

“All out,” I said. She looked at me like I was crazy. I guess they never ran out of milk at her house.

She sighed, resigned to drinking it black, leaned against my counter and gave me the evil eye. “You wore capri pants and a white T-shirt on a date? With Ty? I swear I don’t know how you’re my friend.”

I felt contrite and defensive all at the same time.

“Do you or do you not want to have sex again in this lifetime?” She took a swig of coffee.

“Now you sound like Goldie.” To deflect a response I refilled my own mug. It was ten o’clock, early enough to keep pumping in the caffeine. “Yes, of course I want to have sex.”

“With Ty?”

“Yes, with Ty.
Especially
with Ty.”

Kelly nodded her head, her cute, perky haircut bouncing about. She wore multi-colored plaid shorts with a white cotton blouse with a small frill along the button line. I took stock of my own hair. Ponytail. My own clothes. Tan shorts, white T-shirt with a small flower printed on the front. Flip-flops.

“You look so cute.” I pointed to her outfit. I looked down at myself and groaned. Realized the sad truth. “I dress like the Colonel.”

“At least he presses his clothes.”

I kind of felt like crying. “Hey, that hurt.”

She placed her mug on the counter and gave me a hug. “You either need some cuter—and sexier—clothes or the next time Ty stops by, answer the door naked. This is an intervention.” She put my mug down too, even though I hadn’t even had a chance to sniff it, let alone drink any. “I’ve got the rest of the day. Without children. Let me reiterate. Without children. We’re going shopping. We’re going to find you a wardrobe that makes you look hot, sexy and totally fuckable.”

This day was as much for Kelly as it was for me. The opportunity for the two of us to shop without any kids, hers or mine, was rare. She wanted out of her house and I was a great excuse. Besides, if I dressed like a sixty-something man, I needed serious help and answering the door naked wasn’t an option. Or let’s just say I didn’t want it to be my only option.

“Okie dokie.”

***

An hour later we were on

Main Street

checking out the shops. The business district is about ten blocks long, from the new library on the east to the old high school on the west. Red brick buildings from the late 1800’s up lined both sides of the four lane road. Flower baskets hung from attractive street lamps. It had a quaint western feel. Very small town. Stores included restaurants to used book stores to baby boutiques. Not one chain store. The Parade of Lights, the Taste of Bozeman, the car show, homecoming and the SweetPea Festival race all closed

Main Street

down for family fun. I’d never seen another town that liked to close the main thoroughfare through town for the benefit of the community instead of motorists.

We were in a women’s clothing store where I’d tried on three different fancy dresses, all with various parts of skin exposed. Fancy to me wasn’t prom; it’s when I had to wear earrings, makeup and heels all at the same time. I found a little black dress that had tiny buttons running up the front. It had a deep V neck and small capped sleeves. I felt covered, but feminine at the same time. There was not one speck of bling on it. Goldie wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole, but I liked it. Kelly approved, so it was a keeper.

Kelly was in a changing room trying on a pile of items from the sale rack and probably would be awhile.

“I’m going for coffee. I need energy,” I called through the purple velvet curtain.

“You had some at home,” she called back. Obviously she was afraid I’d make a break for it while she was in her underwear and unable to chase me down.

“No,
you
had some,” I grumbled. “You took mine away and pushed me out the door. I’ll be back in ten minutes. Want some?”

“Usual.”

I shoved the bag with my new dress under the curtain for Kelly to keep with her. I heard a zipper so I figured I’d have some time before she redressed.

I made my way down the block to the nearest coffee shop, ordered our usual and waited. I had a mocha with skim, no whipped cream. Kelly got the fancier caramel apple latte, with an extra pump of vanilla, whipped cream, and soy milk. I think she ordered it because she knew I wouldn’t drink it even if I was crawling through the desert and it was the only liquid in sight.

With the beverages in hand, I made my way out of the shop only to bump right into Dex in the doorway.

“That for me?” He pointed to the coffee.

I was completely flummoxed. His spicy cologne wafted up and mingled with the aroma of coffee. His broad chest was a millimeter away from mine in the doorway. A fly couldn’t squeeze through. Boy, he was big. I had no choice but to tilt my head back to look him in the eye unless I wanted to stare at his shirt collar all day.

Wow. His brown eyes were really mesmerizing. I’m not sure what it was about Dex but he could suck you in. Really hot guys had a way of making your whole body freeze up, your brain turn to mush.

“Um, sure.” I handed him Kelly’s froo froo drink. He might change his mind about lingering once he took a sip.

Someone wanted in the coffee shop so Dex placed a hand at the small of my back and ushered us both out onto the pavement. Cars drove by. A woman with a screaming baby in a stroller dashed by, probably wishing they were at home for naptime.

“Jane, how are you?” Dex stood in front of me, still too close. His hand moved to my shoulder, as if to keep me from running away. I felt the warmth of it through my shirt. He wore jeans and boots as he had the other times I’d seen him but today wore a dark blue button-up. The sleeves were rolled up, the collar open. Not like a seventies-era swinger with a bunch of gold chains and ample chest hair, but just the right amount. As a rancher, I bet he didn’t own a pair of shorts or sneakers.

I noticed a woman eyeing him as she walked past.

He didn’t seem bothered by that, nor was he rude by giving her any attention while talking with me. Was there a hint of gentleman in there?  He wasn’t in any rush to move his hand. I stepped back, uncomfortable at his lingering touch.

I took a big swig of my mocha and burned my tongue. I winced. “Fine, fine.”

“I saw you on the news. I have to admit, I don’t like hearing you were mixed up in a dangerous situation like that. I wouldn’t want to see you harmed.” His words rang sincere, but from our previous sexually laced conversations, I couldn’t figure out his angle. Or if there even was one. “You’re much too special to get mixed up with the likes of that loser.”