Give Yourself Away (31 page)

As they flew in the sunshine, skimming the waves like birds—black-and-white shearwaters—Caleb felt he was finally free. The feeling of being trapped in that concrete room was fading faster and faster. His life hadn’t even started when he escaped. It started with March.

“Ready to stop?” March asked.

“No.”

They stayed out for a while longer, zipping over the water, shooting into the air, and Caleb felt his worries sliding away. March was right. He needed to squeeze everything he could out of life, take a few risks, be the person he should have been.

Back on the beach, they packed up the kitesurfing equipment, then sat in a sheltered spot, hidden by a rock. They had their wet suits pulled down to their waists, the blanket wrapped around them as they drank hot chocolate and ate sandwiches.

Caleb rested his head on March’s shoulder. “That was fun.”

“Yeah, it was.”

“As a matter of interest, what could have gone wrong?”

March sighed. “You really want me to list what could happen?”

“Yes.”

“We were too far from any cliffs for them to be a problem, but the wind can drag you into trouble if you’re too close to land or it can pull you too far out to sea. If you stay attached to the board, which shouldn’t happen because there’s a leash system with two safety releases, you might get dragged underwater for some distance. You could sprain your ankle or your wrist. Or you might get seized in the jaws of a killer whale.”

Caleb elbowed him and March laughed. He took the plastic mug from Caleb and set it aside with his own. When he cupped Caleb’s face and kissed him, Caleb melted. Most of him melted. March was a great kisser. Caleb loved the way he tasted, how March could kiss in so many ways. March’s hand had snuck under the blanket and was roaming Caleb’s chest. He pulled away from his mouth to nip Caleb’s ear and Caleb sucked in a breath.

“We shouldn’t do this out here.” March was panting, his cheeks flushed.

Caleb grinned. “I think we’re safe. It’s not the dunes of the Cape.”

March peeled himself out of the bottom half of his wet suit, then had to help Caleb get out of his. They were laughing by the time March tugged it off his foot.

“Fuck it, it’s freezing. We’ll have to be quick,” March said.

“Are there any more romantic words in the English language?”

March growled and enfolded them both in the blanket as they mauled each other, kissing, humping, groping and laughing when their mouths weren’t locked together. They had their hands wrapped around each other’s cocks, rubbing them together, and Caleb could feel himself shaking as he thundered toward release.

“Oh shit, shit,” Caleb moaned.

March arched his back, and when Caleb felt him spill over his fingers, the warmth hitting his belly, he came too. They lay shuddering, foreheads pressed together, panting into each other’s faces as they came down.

March gave a long groan. “Are we ever going to be able to be naked and not fuck?”

Caleb smiled. “No.”

“No matter where we are?”

“Well, there
are
a limited number of places where we can get away with this.”

March gave a heavy sigh. “I can’t believe we did this on the beach.”

“Want to wash off in the sea?”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

Caleb took a look around. No one. He jumped up and raced down to the water. Course, when he hit the water he wanted to race straight out again, but he kept going until he was in up to his waist and then dived beneath the surface. He came up to find March in front of him.

“You’re crazier than me,” March said. “What the hell have I unleashed?”

“I love you.” Caleb wasn’t going to wait for March to say it. The words were in Caleb’s heart and he wanted March to hear them, wanted March to say them.

He could see the struggle on March’s face and had a moment of doubt, but maybe this time Caleb could be the brave one.

“I love you.”
Kiss.
“I love you.”
Kiss.
“I love you.”
Kiss.
“I love you.”

“Are you sure?” March asked.

Caleb laughed. “Yes.”

“That’s a good thing,” March said. “Because I’ve always loved you. Right from the moment I walked into that playground and saw you standing there in a blazer that was too big and pants that were too tight and eyes the color of holly. I had to fasten my blazer so I didn’t give myself away.”

“You always had it done up whenever I was around.”

“Now you know why. And I don’t think things are going to change anytime soon. It’s going to make seeing you dance in public particularly difficult.”

“I’m only going to dance for you.”

“You’re not going to the audition?”

Caleb froze. “What audition?”

“There’s this teacher I found. She says she’ll take a look at you dance, and if you’re good enough, she’ll accept you into her school. There’s only one snag.”

“What?”

“She lives in London. The school’s in London.”

“I’m not leaving you,” Caleb said at once.

“I thought maybe I could get a job in London and we can keep the house here and come back at weekends.”

“My…back.”

“Will be sorted.”

“I’m too old.”

“No you’re not. Okay, so you’re not going to make the Bolshoi, but you want to dance and now you have the chance.”

“She’ll think I’m crap.”

March cupped Caleb’s face in his hands. “You’re brilliant. You can do anything.”

“As long as you’re with me.”

“With or without me.”

“No. Only with you.”

March folded Caleb into his arms and whispered, “I love you. I loved you as Tye and I love you as Caleb. I’ll love you forever.”

It was all Caleb had ever wanted.

Epilogue

“Be careful. Hold on with both hands. I said
both
hands. Don’t you give me that look. Do as you’re told or you’re going home.” March turned and gave Caleb a despairing glance. “You come and tell her.”

“Isla, do as Papa says,” Caleb called.

“Okay, Daddy.”

Caleb bit back his laugh at March’s glare. He leaned back on the bench as March fluttered around after Isla as she climbed all over the play equipment in the park. He was there to catch her at the bottom of the slide, there to make sure she didn’t fall when she hung out of the treehouse.

“You can’t use the zip wire,” March said. “You’re too little.”

The six-year-old huffed and grabbed the bar. Caleb knew March would catch her if she fell, though he doubted that would happen. She was like a cat and just as fearless. Isla whooped as she launched herself off the platform and March raced after her.

She was four years old when they adopted her. Mistreated by her birth parents, Isla had been wary, silent and awkward, wetting the bed most nights and turned down by several couples. Now it was hard to shut her up, hard to stop her doing anything once she’d set her mind to it.

The irony was that Caleb didn’t stress about her getting hurt, anywhere near as much as he thought he would and nowhere near as much as March. The little monkey deliberately wound March up. Caleb smiled as he watched March climb through the roped maze in pursuit of their daughter. He was going to get stuck.

Life was just about perfect. All those years he’d been abused, if it meant this was his reward, then it had been worth it. No one knew who he was. They’d managed to keep the secret.

It had been tricky with the adoption people because Caleb’s history was sketchy. They’d thought for a while they’d be turned down but then all the issues that had been raised seemed to fall away and Isla had been allowed to go home with them. Caleb wondered if Jasim had had any hand in that. They’d heard nothing from him, seen nothing about him, but Caleb found himself wondering sometimes what he was doing, whether he was happy.

They’d moved to London six months after March first pulled Caleb from the sea. Five years later, March was still working at the University of Greenwich and that’s where they’d bought a house. They’d renovated it together while they lived in one room and cooked on a Primus stove.

At March’s urging, Caleb had laser surgery to correct his vision and, following treatment, his back was now without a mark.

The ballet teacher Caleb had danced for pointed out so many faults at his audition that Caleb had fled the room, straight into March’s arms and fought back tears. But Maria had come after him, demanded to know what the hell he was doing walking away and told him she’d never seen anyone dance so well when they’d taught themselves.

Now he danced professionally, and when he wasn’t busy at the weekend, they went to Dorset to the cottage. Isla loved watching them on the water. Caleb had his own board, though he wasn’t as daring as March. He enjoyed kitesurfing, but knowing he’d made March happy to be sharing the sport pleased Caleb the most. March’s parents, who’d moved to the UK after Isla’s adoption, were happy to babysit.

March still liked scary sports, but he listened to Caleb’s worries and they compromised.

March came back to the bench with Isla riding on his shoulders. “Home?”

Caleb pushed to his feet. “I thought it was my turn for a ride?”

Isla laughed. “Silly Daddy.”

“Later,” March said and winked at him.

Acknowledgments

The RNLI, the Royal National Lifeboat Association was founded in 1824. It provides a 24-hour search-and-rescue service up to 100 nautical miles from the shores of the UK. It’s independent of the government and relies on voluntary contributions in order to operate. Caleb’s rescue from the cave was based on a real-life rescue in September 2014 by the St. Agnes lifeboat. Very brave men!

I’d also like to thank the inspiration that is the dancer Polunin doing an interpretation of Hozier’s “Take Me to Church”. As soon as I watched him perform to that music, I had to make Caleb a dancer.

Dorset is the setting for the story but I’ve taken artistic license with the names of the towns and the beaches. It’s a gorgeous county and well worth a visit.

Last, but by no means least, I’d like to pay tribute to those individuals who’ve been kidnapped and held against their will. I can only brush the surface of how terrible life must have been and I don’t intend with this story to in any way trivialize what happened to them. What I wanted to do was show hope.

About the Author

Barbara Elsborg lives in West Yorkshire in the North of England. She always wanted to be a spy, but having confessed to everyone without them even resorting to torture, she decided it was not for her. Vulcanology scorched her feet. A morbid fear of sharks put paid to marine biology. So, instead, she spent several years successfully selling cyanide.

After dragging up two rotten, ungrateful children and frustrating her sexy, devoted, wonderful husband (who can now stop twisting her arm), she finally has time to conduct an affair with an electrifying plugged-in male, her laptop.

Her books feature quirky heroines and bad boys, and she hopes they are as much fun to read as they are to write.

Visit
www.barbaraelsborg.com
for more information about Barbara’s books and for her blog posts. She’s also on Facebook at
www.facebook.com/barbara.elsborg
and Twitter at
www.twitter.com/BarbaraElsborg
.

Look for these titles by Barbara Elsborg

Now Available:

Cowboys Down

Worlds Apart

Every Move He Makes

With or Without Him

Taking Stock

Give Yourself Away

Fall and Break

Falling

Breaking

Don’t miss these other titles by Barbara Elsborg

Falling is easy. Landing without breaking your heart? Impossible

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Warning:
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Fall or Break,
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Archer Hart, former SIS assassin, has just completed a freelance hit job when he finds himself in a sniper’s scope. The bullet whizzing past his ear is a clear message: someone wants him dead. Retirement will have to wait, as his only choice is to assume a new identity—and keep running.

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Warning:
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