Give My Love to Rose (32 page)

Marston tousled Langley’s red hair.
“Langley, why don’t you take Kaitlyn to the barn and get Buck all
settled in. He’s wore out.”

Langley nodded. “Okay pa. It sure is good to
have you back. We’ve missed you something awful.”

“
I missed you too, kid,”
Marston replied.

Langley led a wary Kaitlyn away to the barn,
his mouth running a mile a minute in true Langley fashion.

“
Marston…” Rose whispered,
letting the relief of his presence wash over her.

Marston pulled her into his arms again and
held her tight. “It’s okay, Rose. I’m back. I told you I would
be.”

“
I’m not stupid, Marston.
I knew you could get killed going after Gilliam. He has been living
that kind of life for a lot of years and he could have killed you
just as easily as he had countless other men.”

Marston feigned insult. “That hurts. Gilliam
wasn’t any threat to me. He only likes to hit little girls.”

“
Does she have family?”
Rose asked, tilting her head toward the barn. She didn’t loosen her
hold on Marston—she was afraid that if she let go of him he would
disappear right before her eyes.

“
No,” Marston replied.
“Gilliam took her out of the orphanage. I told her she can live
with us… Are you okay with that?”

“
Of course that’s fine,”
Rose assured him. “That poor girl. How old is she?”

Marston let out a slow, even breath as he
gazed down at her. “Eleven.”

Rose hissed in a breath through her teeth.
“That bastard!”

Marston shrugged. “Well, he’s a dead bastard
now and the almighty is sorting him out.” Marston kissed her brow.
“I’m sorry it took longer than I thought it would for me to get
back. Kaitlyn was in bad shape when I found her and needed a few
days to rest.”

Rose shivered. “I understand.”

Anger flashed in Marston’s gold eyes and she
saw him close those eyes and take a deep steadying breath before
stooping low and pressing a kiss to her forehead that was so
achingly tender it made her heart hurt.

“
I love you, Marston.
Please don’t leave us again to go chasing vengeance.”

Marston nodded. “I’ll never leave again.
Strange how I lived my entire life without needing anyone and never
being tied down.. since I met you and Langley, there is nowhere
else I want to be other than right here and I need you both… I need
you like air.”

Rose stood there in his arms a moment longer
and then her stomach rolled and reminded her that they needed to
talk. “Can we go in and talk?” she asked, her teeth grazing her
bottom lip.

Marston frowned and led her inside. As she
sat at the table he removed his rifle and gun belt and put them
both by the door. He grabbed a biscuit from the counter and sat
down across from her. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

Rose clasped her hands and stared down at
the table top, chewing her lip furiously. Marston simply munched
his biscuit and waited patiently for her to speak. Patience wasn’t
normally his strongest attribute, but just now he was too thankful
to be home to be short tempered.

“
It’s nothing wrong
exactly,” she muttered before falling silent again.

Marston frowned. “Rose, what is it? I can
tell you haven’t been sleeping or eating much…” His heart froze.
“Are you sick?”

Rose shook her head quickly. “No. No, I’m
not sick. I’ve just been very worried about you, that’s all.”

Marston leaned back in his chair. “Is this a
guilt trip? Because I hardly ever bother with that emotion.”

Rose’s nostrils flared as she whooshed out a
breath and finally looked up at his face. “No, it’s not a guilt
trip. Marston, you’ve been.. you’ve been a wonderful father to
Langley. And, well, it’s clear that Kaitlyn already adores you…”
Her voice trailed off as if she couldn’t quite figure out how to
continue.

Marston brushed biscuit crumbs from his
chest and leaned forward, folding his arms on the table. “Is this
about Kaitlyn being here? I know it’ll be crowded for a while but
we can add a room on over the summer.”

“
I know that,” Rose waved
her hand. “I’m not worried about space.”

Marston felt his patience waning. “What is
it then?” he snapped. “I’m tired and don’t want to waste energy
beating around the bush.”

Rose’s eyes filled with tears. Marston
confusion tripled. He reached across the table and took her hands.
“Rose, honey, tell me what’s wrong.. I can’t fix it if you don’t
talk to me.”

“
There’s nothing you can
fix,” Rose sniffed. “I just don’t know how you’re going to
feel…”

“
Well to figure that out,
you’ll have to tell me what’s wrong.”

“
I’ve just... I’ve been
thinking a lot about babies…”

“
Babies?” Marston
grimaced. “Why in the hell are you thinking about
babies?”

“
No reason..” she squeaked
before leaping from her chair and rushing into their bedroom,
closing and locking the door behind her.

Marston stared at her empty chair with
shock.

“
What’s wrong with mama?”
Langley asked as he and Kaitlyn entered the cabin.

“
Those damn mood swings
she’s so good at,” Marston grumbled as he tossed his half eaten
biscuit into the scrap bucket. “Do you know what might be wrong
with her?” he demanded.

“
No,” Langley shook his
head but his attention was on Kaitlyn as the girl glanced around
the cabin, taking it all in. “She’s just been real tired since
you’ve been gone and she’s always saying her stomach is upset.
Sometimes she just stares out the window with her hand on her belly
and doesn’t say a word. You know, normal confusing woman
stuff.”

Suddenly the pieces tumbled into place and
Marston fell down hard in the kitchen chair nearly collapsing the
poor thing with his sudden weight. “Shit…” he grumbled.

Langley and Kaitlyn merely shrugged and
Langley went about showing her where his room was and talking about
storybooks.

Marston’s mind wasn’t on them. It was on
Rose… and the child that must be growing inside of her. His child.
Was he ready for a baby?

Hell no.

He wasn’t ready for something so small,
fragile and innocent. Surely a man like him would only hurt, damage
or possibly kill the little thing!

‘
If we’re going to have a
pity party, can we at least get some whiskey?’ that voice in his
head, which had been dormant for a long time spoke up.

Marston glowered. He most certainly was not
having a pity part.

‘
Yes you are,’ the voice
countered. ‘You knew how babies were made when you laid with Rose
and you didn’t do a thing to prevent it.’

Marston wanted to tell the voice to go to
hell but how could he when it was right? He had known what spending
himself inside of Rose could cause and yet he’d done it anyway.
Dammit, he just lost all control when it came to that woman.

“
I’m going for a walk,”
Marston grumbled, getting slowly to his feet.

“
But you just got back!”
Langley countered, poking his head out of his room.

Marston nodded. “I’ll only be a few
minutes.” He needed a bit of time to himself to think.

***

Rose saw Marston leave through her bedroom
window and he disappeared into the woods. She folded her body upon
the bed and cried. Normally, Rose did not cry so easily but her
emotions had been all over the map in the last few weeks. She had
suspected that she was with child before Marston had left, but she
was certain now. Her cycle had never been late any other time and
she was showing all the signs and symptoms.

Rose only wished that Marston wanted this
baby. The thought that he didn’t ripped her heart out and tore it
to shreds. Rose had hoped that with Marston’s love for Langley, he
would jump at the chance to have a child of his own, but she had
been wrong.

But what would she do now? What would happen
if Rose told him about the baby and he took off? She knew that she
could survive without him—she’d been living without a man for the
last ten years, but the truth was that Rose didn’t want to have to
live without Marston.

Marston gave her something that no other
person ever had. He was her best friend. Her rock. She felt safe
with him. She didn’t want to lose that. Suddenly her stomach rolled
and Rose knew she was going to be sick.

She leaped from the bed and fled the cabin
without sparing a glance toward a shocked Langley and Kaitlyn.

***

Marston heard the sound of someone being
sick in the outhouse and knew instantly that it was Rose. Without
putting much thought into what he was doing, his long legs carried
him across the yard and he threw open the door.

Rose was on her knees and she threw her hand
up. “Go away!” she exclaimed, waving him off.

“
No.”

Marston took her hair gently in his hand and
held it away from her face just before she lost more of her
stomach. Rose let out a groan and slumped against the wall. “Please
go,” she whispered. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

Marston nodded and slowly backed out and
closed the door. He went to the well and wet his bandana in the
cool water. When he heard Rose moving around in the outhouse,
Marston went back to it and opened the door.

“
Marston…” she snapped
with annoyance.

Marston just shrugged her off. He didn’t
much care if she was annoyed with him. Without a word, he lifted
her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. She sighed and
wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shirt as
he carried her to the gentle river and sat down cross-legged with
her in his lap.

Marston gently ran the damp bandana across
her heated skin and raised his brow. “Care to tell me why you
locked yourself in our bedroom?”

She flushed red and turned her gaze to the
river. “I’m scared to tell you.”

Marston’s heart ached. “Rose, you never have
to be afraid of me.”

“
I’m afraid of what your
reaction will be, Marston. I need you here with me… I don’t want
you to run away from us…”

“
That’s a hell of a thing
for you to say to me,” Marston growled, his temper flaring. “I have
done everything I can for you and for Langley. I think I’ve proven
that I’m sticking around.”

“
You have!” Rose rushed to
soothe him. “I’m just not thinking clearly.. I shouldn’t have said
that.”

Marston saw those damned tears threatening
to spring from her eyes and he felt his temper dissipate. “Then
tell me what’s wrong with you.”

Rose took his scarred and calloused hand and
laid it over the yellow gingham fabric across her stomach. “We’re
going to have a baby, Marston.”

Marston couldn’t think of what to say as he
stared down at his hand on her stomach. He had already known that,
of course, but he still had no idea how to react. “I…uh…” He felt
his hand shaking so he quickly pulled it away from her stomach and
clenched his fist on the grass.

“
I’m sorry you didn’t want
this, Marston,” Rose whispered, her voice hollow. “I really
am.”

Marston looked into her blue eyes and
realized that just a short time ago he would have agreed that a
baby wasn’t something he wanted, that was no longer the case.

To have a child with Rose…. He couldn’t help
but imagine what that child would be like. Would he or she have his
golden eyes or Rose’s red hair? Would it have his temper or Rose’s
caring spirit?

“
What are you thinking?”
Rose apprehensively inquired.

Marston’s voice was thick. “I’m wondering
what he’ll look like.”

A smile lit up Rose’s face. “Maybe it’s a
girl.”

Marston was quiet a moment as he stared at
the gently flowing water. “I’m scared,” he admitted in a low
whisper.

Rose stared at him with shock. Marston had
just admitted to being scared about something and that was not
something he would easily do. “What are you scared of?”

Marston rubbed at his neck. “I’m not pa
material. I can do alright with Langley because you did most of the
work before I got here and Kaitlyn is more than half grown. A baby?
Rose, surely I’ll mess it up for life—that is if I don’t wind up
holding it too hard or dropping it and killing it before it ever
grows up.”

Laughter bubbled from Rose’s chest and she
could tell by the look in Marston’s eyes that her amusement hurt
his feelings so she did her best to control herself. “What the hell
is so funny?” he grumbled.

Rose covered her mouth and tried her hardest
to stop laughing. She saw Marston’s lip twitch. “You won’t break
the baby,” she assured him. “You will be an amazing father and you
will be loved. You are a giving, caring, truly special man and if
you could only see what I see when I look at you then you wouldn’t
be having any doubts.”

Marston shook his head. “Why were you so
afraid to tell me?” he asked, brushing off her compliments in true
Marston fashion.

“
I thought that…” Rose
stopped, realizing that there was no way this conversation’s
current path could end well.

Marston studied her a moment. “You thought I
would pack up and leave when I found out?”

When Rose nodded meekly, Marston’s entire
demeanor changed. His arms grew cold around her and his golden eyes
flashed with a hurt so deep it tore at Rose’s heart.

He stood swiftly and sat her on her feet,
stepping back to put distance between them.

“
Marston...” Rose
whispered, reaching out to put her hand on his arm.

He jerked away from her. “If I could only
see me as you see me, huh?” he hissed. “See me as what? A selfish
bastard that would abandon his wife and children because he finds
out there’s another one on the way and he doesn’t want to have to
deal with it? That sounds about right, Rose. I’m glad you’re
finally seeing who I really am.”