Ghost Medicine (19 page)

We all found our places back by the fire, me and Tommy drinking our beers and Gabriel half-asleep. I was lying flat on my back, watching the smoke and sparks twist their paths up into the starry black.

“I know you guys probly won't believe this when I tell you, but I'm swearing to you this is the truth,” Tommy said. “And I've been waiting for the right time to say it. I saw a ghost. It happened the night after we killed that mountain lion, too, which made it even weirder. ‘Cause you remember how we all painted our faces and Stotts called it ‘Ghost Medicine.' “

“Like his horse,” Gabe stirred.

“But it's ‘cause of what he said it would do, too.”

Tommy spit and took another drink of beer. Gabe's eyes were wider now, attentive to the possibility of a real good scary story.

“That night after we buried that lion,” Tommy went on, “I woke up in the middle of the night ‘cause I thought I heard something. Well, it was real dark and real quiet except for the sound of the wind, just rustling stuff outside like scratching. There was a boy standing in the middle of my room, just standing there looking at me. He was lighter than the dark in the room and I could almost see through him. I was sure it was a ghost, and it was real.”

“What did he do?” Gabe asked.

“Nothing. He just stood there looking at me. He never moved, his face never changed, never did nothing. I just looked at him for the longest time, too. I got so scared I put a pillow over my head.”

“My dad told me one time that your house had ghosts in it,” Gabe said to Tom.

“You're making that up,” I said.

“I swear he said it, Troy.”

“Well, what did he look like, then?” I asked.

“He had light-colored hair. He was small, probly only about ten or eleven years old. I couldn't really make out what he was wearing. But the scary part was hiding my head under the pillow, ‘cause I kept making it out scarier and scarier so that I was almost
shivering
I was so afraid. No. I
was
shivering. I think I stayed there for hours, sweating, keeping my face hid, wondering if I could get up enough guts to look at him again, to see if he was still there. And then I told myself, I know I'm not dreaming now, so if I look and he's not there, then maybe it was a bad dream was all. So I looked again.” He swallowed and paused. “And he was still there.”

Gabe looked around at the edge of darkness surrounding our fire. “That's really weird, Tom.”

“What happened then?”

“I covered my head back up again, and then I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I knew it was light out, and of course the boy was gone. But that morning, I thought it might have been brought on by that ghost medicine, so I took the truck and went out to that lion's grave all by myself. And there was nothing changed there, but it was real spooky. I found that little circle of stones from the creek we'd put on top of the grave just where it was under that tree.”

“The angel is sleeping in the woods,” I said.

Tom threw a little stick at me. “See what I mean about this guy, Gabey?” Tom said, and then, “You're crazy, Stotts. Well anyway, it was real creepy being there alone. I had my gun, but it was real quiet that day and I felt like I was being followed the whole way, or watched, by that boy.”

“Did you ever see him again?” Gabe asked.

“No. But after that I wouldn't sleep in my room. Always out on the couch, and CB keeps asking me if I'm sick or something.”

“Well, maybe it
was
just a dream,” I said.

“That's what I keep telling myself. Still,” Tommy said. “But there's always a part of me that really knows I was awake the whole time.”

We all became quiet, overcome by the beer, the fire, the events of the day.

I love you so much, Troy Stotts. Rider number seven.

I could hear that over and over, staring up at the sky, smelling the fire, feeling the earth in my hair.

And I lay there, with my hand on my chest, flattening out that number seven and feeling the bumps of those four little pins that held it there; and all of us fell off to sleep like that, right there in the dirt.

We all three woke when we heard the church bells from Three Points. Eight o'clock. The sun was already drying up the cool that had been the morning.

“Oh darn! I missed church,” Gabe said, sarcastically.

“I need some water,” Tom said. “So bad,” I added.

We got up, shakily. I took off my shirt and brushed the dirt out of my hair with it, then threw it on top of my saddle. Tom scooped two cups of what had been ice out of the galvanized tub and handed one to me. We just stood there and drank two full glasses each.

“How you feeling?” Tommy asked.

“Not perfect,” I said. “Feels like my head's swollen.”

“Rose would make a dinner table out of mine.”

It hurt when I smiled.

“What are you guys talking about?” Gabe said.

“Nothing,” I said.

Tommy took off his shirt and poured a cup of ice water over his head, and then on mine.

“Let's drive over to the rocks and jump in the lake,” he said.

We got into the truck, leaving Gabe standing there back by the smoking fire pit. Tommy turned the key in the ignition.
Click.
The battery was dead.

He slapped the steering wheel, frustrated. “I left the lights on,” Tom said. “We're stuck.”

“Let's take the horses, then. After we cool off we'll ride back to your place and get Carl to come out and jump us.”

“Let's go!” Gabe said.

We didn't think anything of the time that morning; it almost seemed like the sun wasn't moving at all. But when Luz rode out to catch her brother missing church, she laughed at the three of us, fog-headed, swimming in nothing but our boxers, and I realized that the morning had drifted away.

And then Chase just came out of nowhere, laughing as he stole our clothes and waved my shirt over his head like a flag, riding his horse out through the clearing to the dirt road leading east to Holmes. Tom bolted from the lake, stepping lightly with his stiff knee over the twigs and stones toward the horses.

I said, “Take Reno. He can catch ‘em!” Tom was the better rider, but my horse was the fastest.

“That just stinks!” Gabriel said and slapped the water. Luz was still laughing at us. She turned and rode off after Tom and Chase.

I jumped off the rock, exhaled, and sank down, disappearing into the murk nearer the bottom of the lake.

And that was how Gabriel and I ended up that hot afternoon, wet and dusty, out on the trail without our clothes, chasing down Tom Buller and my horse.

Gabey, can I have your hat? I'm burning up.”

“Sure. It's dirty.”

“I know.”

And when Gabriel asked about it, as we swatted away the flies and, practically naked, took those horses so slowly along the trail, I told him what happened to me up on that mountain, and how his sister had found me there. And how it felt. Like she brought me back to life.

“Did you make love to her?”

I think Gabriel was just curious, that maybe he wanted to know something hidden about his sister, about me. And at first, I found myself automatically forming the truth, no, with my mouth. Then I thought to lie for some reason and tell him yes. Then I kind of got mad at Gabriel.

“How could you even say something like that about your sister?” I sighed. “That's between me and her, anyway.”

“Well,
I'd
tell
you
.”

“I don't think I'll live that long, Gabey.”

“You know, that's a shame, too. And I was just about to offer my best friend Troy Stotts that he could ride my horse and me take on that old cripple Arrow.”

I smiled, knowing that Gabriel was just teasing.

“Am I the only person you told about your going away like that?” Gabe asked.

“Yep.”

Gabriel pulled back on Dusty, who turned in the path, stopping both horses and riders. He swung his leg over the top of the saddle and got down onto the trail, wiping away the sweat on the insides of his bare legs with his palms.

“Here, Troy. I'll switch you.”

Gabriel held the reins on Arrow as I got down. “Are you sure?”

“No, but you can ride him anyway.” And then Gabe was up on Arrow, whose protesting backpedaling signaled that he had already eased into the thought of going riderless. “And besides, Dusty's about the only horse around that I haven't seen you fall off yet so I'm thinking today's going to be his big chance.”

I was thankful for the cooling shade of the big trees here, and for the more comfortable gait and disposition of the buckskin. I could see the spot where the trees cleared away, far ahead, the bright sunlight reflecting from the yellow and dry grasses, where the old Butterfield stage marker stood, and the small trail linked onto the dirt road heading east.

“You know she's in love with you, Troy.” He said it kind of like it was a question.

“Man, can you stop talking about your sister and me?”

I was embarrassed that Gabe was so straight with me, and at the same time I guess I felt a kind of pride that he knew, and felt, too, that someday we would be bound together by something more than just our friendship.

“Well, it's true, in case you didn't know. Or in case you were wondering.” Gabe rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “Anyway, it's okay with me.”

“Oh. That's a relief,” I said, and I tried to change the subject, but I knew he would bring it back again. “You remember what you told us about your dad giving me the horse? How do you know about that?”

I held Dusty back and Gabe prodded Arrow up next to us.

“He didn't tell me it or nothing, but my dad's like a horse witch or something, like my grandfather was. But you know, Troy, because sometimes there are certain horses that can talk to you, and some people can talk to just about any horse. Like my dad can. And you. That's why I said that about him giving you Reno. I just made it up ‘cause I was just trying to tease you about Luz.”

“Oh.” I looked out down the trail.

“You don't need to tell me. I mean, if you love her. Because I already know. That's what brought you back here when you left; otherwise Reno would've made you go away.”

you disappear

Gabriel stretched his arms out and yawned. Arrow lowered his head into the grass to the side of the trail. “One day, will you take me up there?”

“To that cabin?”

I looked at Gabriel.

“Sometimes I feel like I need to go back there, almost like it's calling me to prove that it wasn't just a weird dream or something. But if you just want to go up there and fish, we could go anytime. And Gabe, you won't say anything, will you?”

“About where you went?”

“No. About her.”

Gabe held out a fist and I punched his knuckles.

“Gabe?”

“What?”

“Why do you act like you're scared of her?”

Gabriel smiled. “She can beat me up, Troy.”

“I think you let her.”

“Okay,” he said. “But she never lets up on me, either. I think it's ‘cause I'm the boy, and that's what our dad always wanted. So she always had to prove she was tougher and smarter. Then I guess he ended up realizing that she really was.”

“She's just trying to fool you, Gabe,” I said. “ ‘Cause she knows how good you really are. And she thinks that one day your dad's gonna see you're good enough to run that ranch. She told me.”

“She did?”

“I swear it.”

Gabriel yawned again, pretending not to think about what I just said. “Was it tough coming home?” By the time he said it, Arrow was already back to stumbling his front right foot on the ground, feigning a trip every few steps, which would inevitably lead to a more stubborn protest to come.

“Not at all.”

“He's not going to move, Troy.” Gabriel exhaled in frustration above the stubborn Arrow's lowered, pretending-to-eat head. “I think we're going to have to walk ‘em again for a while.”

“We've been gone for an hour now and we haven't even gotten to the dirt road yet. Tom's likely already home and dressed by now.”

“You should've never offered up Reno for him. That Tom Buller owes you more than he'll ever be able to pay back.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked. Arrow flinched at Gabe's prodding.

“Well,” Gabriel said, “you saved his life when he got bit. And you'd do anything for him, and stick up for him and his dad. You're such a good friend to him.”

“And he would do anything for me,” I said, then let out a sigh watching Arrow win the silent argument with Gabriel. “I never understood how someone who can ride like Tommy would settle for a horse like that Arrow. If you want yours back, I'll take him.”

“It's okay. Walking's walking anyway. And I guess old Arrow thinks its kind of funny about us being stuck out here in our underwear, too.” Gabriel paused. “Remind me next summer if we all spend the night out after ‘49ers Day that we need to bring some extra clothes.”

“Yeah. And you remind me not to let Tom Buller talk us into drinking beer, too.”

“I could do that.”

We walked along slowly, Gabriel taking an occasional swig from his canteen. The stage marker was just ahead, and alongside it, the wider, level dirt road leading east into Three Points and Holmes beyond. On the right of the trail, a circle of light cut through an opening created in the space between a sapling and a taller, drooping pine tree. In that circle, the stone marker rose, reflecting the sunlight of the open roadway.

“Hey Troy, look at this.” And Gabriel bent down and grabbed an apricot-sized stone off the ground. “Gabriel Benavidez paints the outside corner of the plate with a vicious side-arm curve.”

Gabriel fired his arm from below his waist, sending the rock up and then down, then cutting sharply in to the left to sail cleanly through the opening and
whack!
into the left edge of the marker, splintering shards of flagstone off into the sunlight.

“Bet you can't get one in there.”

“I might as well just pay you up front as soon as take that bet.” But I picked up a rock anyway. “Why don't you play ball in the league in Holmes?”

“I don't like it enough, I guess.” Then he yawned. “Why don't
you
go to church?”

“I guess there are a few people around who'd ask the same thing about you.”

“I go enough.”

“For what?”

And I hurled my rock, but couldn't get it past the little sapling. “Okay. I guess that's five more dollars. Between you and Tom, you guys are going to take all my pay.”

“Yeah. Well, you could dot the ‘i' in Butterfield with that bolt action of yours.”

And I admired my friend for his willingness to overlook my shortcomings.

We had miles to go, the two of us walking alongside those two tall horses. We were out of the woods and back in the sunlight that spilled onto the tree-lined road. A dark stripe of sweat soaked through the band of Gabe's hat. I took it from my head and wiped my hair back, thinking of Luz, remembering how she combed my hair with her fingers when I fell from my horse, and how much I wished she was there with me right at that moment. I waved the hat in front of me.

“Sorry, Gabe.”

“For what?”

“Your hat,” I said apologetically, showing him the sweat stain.

“It's character.”

“Want it back?”

“Uh, I don't think so, Troy. You know the sun doesn't bother me too much. You're pretty red, though.”

Gabe was always brown-skinned, even in winter. In summer, he just got darker while his hair got lighter. He never seemed to sweat too much, either.

“I shouldn't've left my hat in that truck.”

“Yeah, and if we didn't leave the lights on, we'd be trailering this lazy horse out of here.”

“Let's get up on ‘em again.”

“Why don't we just tie Arrow here and both ride Dusty?”

“Gabe,” I said, and I know I was smiling, “just think of how ridiculous
that
would look if anyone saw us.”

Gabriel laughed out loud. “I must be delirious.”

We heard the boom of thunder atop the mountains across the lake. Gabe looked up at the sky, over his shoulder, that little gold chain glinting for a moment as though it could have been the lightning bolt that made the sound.

“It poured on me one night when I was up in that cabin. I never seen it rain so hard in summer.”

“Were you scared?”

“Lots of times. But not ‘cause of the rain.”

Gabe looked back up toward those two granite fingers, the thick gray clouds swelling and inflating above them, crucifix dangling backward between his shoulder blades like some kind of protective charm against the sound of thunder.

“I had a lot of weird dreams up there, I think, because I got so tired and stayed up so many days in a row. I got scared at nights, being awake. Thinking that something was out there, following me. But I got most scared during the day sometimes because it was so quiet and a lot of times I thought I'd see things that weren't there.”

“Like what?”

“You know. You just think you see a person, or an animal or something moving through the trees out of the corner of your eye. But it turns out to be nothing.”

“I couldn't've stayed up there that long by myself. That's really scary.”

“But I kept telling myself, it's not anything real that's scaring me. The real stuff I could handle, no problem. It was just working myself up about thinking things. Or dreaming them.”

We had talked about dreams plenty of times around the fire. I remembered how it was Tom Buller who'd said that he never had dreams; that he just slept and then woke up. And I envied him for that, too, and knew that it must have been the snake medicine in him; that beginning every day like he was breaking out of some dead cast-off shell of himself, forgetting about it, born again; alive and not afraid.

I wished I could be like that.

How about a scary story, boys?

The fire was dying down to writhing orange worms.

What's the scariest dream you've ever had?

No one was ready to answer that. I was getting sleepy, staring at the coals.

I had this dream. I was in the woods, alone. I saw Gabe, sleeping under a tree, glowing white, curled up like a baby. I walk up to him, quietly, and he turns onto his back and sits up. His eyes are all white like the eyes on a marble statue. He looks at me, and he's asking me why did I kill him. And I said, because I wanted to be the only son. But I'm also thinking
—
you know, with the not-dreaming part of my brain
—
that it's like the story from this book I read about this guy whose kids get murdered by another child of his from a different woman. And then I'm looking up the trunk of this huge tree
—
a redwood, and it turns into these pointy, tall doors on a cathedral.