Getting Lucky (17 page)

“So?”

“So you’re a protector, you’re smart, you have a sense of humor, you’re good-looking and you kiss like…” She cleared her throat. “You’re a good kisser. You’re only single because you want to be.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to all of that. He did want to be single. There were women who wanted more from him. But he didn’t want anyone to want things from him anymore.

No, that wasn’t true. He wanted his family to depend on him. He wanted his friends to know he was there for them. He just didn’t want to fall in love again.

He was a very focused guy. Intense was a word often applied to him that he could agree with. When he was in love, it was one-hundred percent. If the woman was happy, he wanted to be a part of it. If she was unhappy, he wanted to fix it. He became an enabler of anything that made her feel good and he’d do anything to keep her from feeling sad, upset or worried, and he’d do anything to right any wrongs—even the ones she caused.

TJ was also intelligent, enough to know that not every woman would use and manipulate those aspects of his personality as much as Michelle had. But he was spooked now. His desire to make and keep her happy had facilitated Michelle making some very bad choices, and his need to make it all right for her after she’d messed up had screwed up some of the relationships he had with other people.

Yes, she’d also screwed up his heart. But also his ability to trust himself. And
that
was what he couldn’t get over.

He didn’t want to be that guy again. He didn’t want to be the reason the love of his life engaged in stupid, risky behavior, and he didn’t want to be the guy making excuses and cleaning up her messes afterward.

“You’re right. I want to be single,” he finally said.

Hope nodded. “I figured.” She glanced toward the front of the house. “Delaney loves you and is protective of you. I think the direction of our conversation might be more along the lines of, ‘If you hurt him, I’ll kill you’.”

Even as the words formed on his tongue, TJ knew he shouldn’t say them. But he did anyway. “You’re not going to be able to hurt me.”

Hope’s eyes widened slightly. “Okay. Good. I don’t want you to be hurt.”

He believed her. Or at least believed that
she
believed she felt that way at the moment.

“Because you’re not calling any shots around here,” he continued. Saying it out loud was a good reminder for him too. He needed to stay as uninvolved as possible. And in the things he
was
involved in, he needed to maintain control over how he was going to give Hope what she needed.

Michelle had needed attention, his adoration, to know that she would always be safe and that someone would be there no matter how stupid or bitchy or irresponsible she was. It went deep and far back into her childhood, and he got that. It made it hard—impossible—to turn his back on her entirely. Even when that inability made him feel pathetic and stupid. He’d been in too deep, he’d become her hero when he was too young and too naïve to realize that she was using him and that what
he
needed out of the relationship would never matter.

He was smarter now. Cynical even. And there was no way he was going to let Hope run the show. If she needed his help, she’d have it. On his terms. His way.

“I’m going to help you, but that means I need your
total
trust. I need you to let me do this the way I think it needs to be done,” he said.

Hope was studying him in that way she had that made him sure she could read his thoughts. “This?”

“Helping you with what you need this summer.”

“As in, you’re going to
make
this summer great. You’re going to help me recreate the summer my mom had?”

TJ nodded. “I can do that. I’ve spent thirty-two summers here.”

She smiled up at him. “I think that’s missing the point. Part of the…magic…is letting things happen. Going with the flow. Taking each experience as it comes.”

Yeah. He couldn’t do that.

The phrase “throwing caution to the wind” made him twitchy, and he was allergic to the word impulsive. “I don’t…flow.”

Hope didn’t seem surprised. “Anymore,” she added.

He frowned.

“I’m guessing you flowed in the past and it didn’t go well,” she explained.

“Something like that.”

“Hmmm.”

“You can…flow without me.” He hated that idea. A lot. Intensely.

Hope tipped her head to one side. “If I stick around for a while and…flow…you’ll just sit on the banks of this metaphoric river and watch me go by?”

He already had the feeling she knew what his answer would be.

Could he just let her go? Leave her alone to hang out with other guys in Sapphire Falls? Make memories in his hometown without him?

Fuck.

Somehow, Hope had already figured him out.

“I’d like to say yes,” he finally admitted. “I’d love to be able to put your butt in your silly little car and wave while you drive off to whatever or whoever is down the road.”

“But?” she prompted with a small, knowing smile.

“Not going to happen.”

“But you’ll be miserable if I’m doing things my way?” she asked.

He shouldn’t be. He knew that. He knew that just because Michelle had taken every advantage of him didn’t mean that Hope would. And he also knew that he should just leave her the hell alone.

Problem was, beyond connecting with Dan, she had other hopes for a summer in Sapphire Falls. And well…that was all he really needed to know to want to be a part of it.

“I prefer to be in charge,” he said. Not that he’d ever been in charge with Michelle.

“That seems like a win-win,” Hope said. “If I turn everything over to you, I can relax and let things happen, and you can do everything your way.”

TJ stood looking down at her. She seemed oblivious to the heat and desire her words stirred up—sexually and otherwise. But he still had a feeling she knew. Somehow.

He wanted that total trust. He wanted to be the one she thought back on when she remembered Sapphire Falls. But he could
not
get lost in her. He couldn’t be led around by the balls again.

He felt himself nod slowly. “Yeah. Win-win.”

He ignored the niggle in the back of his mind that said being in total control around Hope Daniels might be a pipe dream.

“Okay.”

One simple word that TJ felt reverberate through his whole body.

However, he was cynical enough to be skeptical of her easy agreement, too. Arguing, he knew. Arguing and tears. Those he could deal with. A woman who was laid-back and trusted him to do things his way? Not so much.

“Totally my way,” he reiterated.

She nodded with a big smile. “Totally your way.”

He narrowed his eyes and gave her what he hoped was a don’t-you-dare-lie-to-me look. “You’re fine with this?”

“Completely fine.”

Yeah, sure. A woman who had been raised to be fully self-sufficient, who traveled all over by herself, who was obviously very good at wrapping people around her finger within minutes of meeting them—if he and Delaney and Tucker were any indication anyway—was completely fine with him calling all the shots while she was in Sapphire Falls.

They’d see about that.

In fact, the sooner they saw about it, the better. He didn’t want to entertain too many thoughts of running the Hope Show only to find out she wasn’t going to take it. The idea of her doing
anything
he wanted was too damned tempting as it was.

“Okay, so starting now,” he said. “Talk to Delaney. Reassure her that you’re going to take really good care of me. Then get her to go home so you can work on my shoulder.” It really did feel a hell of a lot better since she’d massaged it. And to get her hands on him again, he’d put up with whatever smelly lotion stuff she was going to concoct.

“What if she asks what taking ‘really good care’ of you means?” Hope asked.

The question sounded completely innocent, and if it had been just a bit darker, he wouldn’t have been able to see the tiny sly smile that curled her lips.

And suddenly he wanted nothing more than to see her bent over his kitchen table with that flowery skirt flipped up over her gorgeous ass. “Anything I ask you to.”

There was no way Hope didn’t notice the air between them heating several degrees. She stared at him, her lips parted slightly.

“Give me ten minutes.” She spun away from him and headed for the front of the house.

He appreciated her enthusiasm. But he needed a couple of minutes on his own to gather his thoughts and calm his racing heart. He felt as if a tornado had just touched down and he was being swirled around in the storm.

Finally, he followed her, wishing he knew for sure how to keep from doing anything
she
wanted
him
to do.

Chapter Six

Hope passed Tucker sitting on the front porch steps.

“How’s your head feel?” She knew she’d won him over with the massage. Her mom had done the ear thing to her easily a hundred times in her life, and she knew more than pain relief, it worked to calm and soothe. It was no wonder dogs liked having their ear rubbed.

“I feel great,” Tucker admitted, looking up at her.

“Well, let me know if you have any other aches or pains.”

“How about ass pains?” Tucker asked.

She smiled. “I’m guessing yours is pretty big and has been there a while?”

“About six-five and all my life.”

She laughed. “That might be out of my scope of practice.”

Tucker regarded her with a thoughtful look. “I don’t know, Hope. If anyone can help ease that pain, I think it might be you.”

Hope felt her eyes widen. Wow. That was nice. And…intense.

Especially from TJ’s
brother
.

There were a lot of people in TJ Bennett’s life. People who were really involved and really cared. She wasn’t used to having so many people around. And interested. She’d felt so comfortable with Delaney earlier when they’d been sharing about their losses. And watching Delaney and Tucker together was enough to make even the least romantic person yearn for a little of what they had. But then they’d talked about TJ’s mom’s reaction to Hope being a vegetarian—meaning she might actually meet TJ’s mom and eat more of her food—and Delaney had invited Hope for tea and…yeah, it was all intense. Especially for a girl who was used to having only her mom, and a fairly hands-off mom at that, in her life.

She’d been here for a matter of hours and she’d already met and had deep conversations with three of his family members.

Being involved with TJ clearly meant being involved with everyone he knew.

On the other hand, if TJ Bennett needed a woman to truly appreciate him for a little while, it really might be her. Showing someone they were amazing and worth some attention and effort could be done in a moment, but the impact could last a lifetime. Look at how her mother’s memory had lingered with Dan. And vice versa.

This didn’t have to be intense with TJ. In fact, it would be a good thing if it
wasn’t
intense.

She got the impression that TJ took things seriously. Everything. Too seriously. She could feel him putting expectations and pressure on her already—pressure to not upset Dan’s family, pressure to not let Tucker and Delaney too close or to know the truth, pressure to not mess with his heart, and now his insistence that things needed to go
his
way.

She didn’t mind. She was teaching herself to go with the flow. This was the perfect opportunity to practice. And if he wanted to boss her around in that low, gravelly voice in the bedroom, she wouldn’t put up a fight there either. It had been a long time since she’d felt as connected to someone as she did to TJ. Already.

“You think I’m his type?”

Tucker shook his head. His gaze settled on something behind her and she knew TJ had moved into the light from the porch.

“Not at all. And that’s what gives me hope.” He grinned up at her with the unintentional use of her name.

She met his smile. “What’s his usual type?”

“Hope.” TJ’s low voice interrupted before Tucker could reply. “Go inside.”

Tucker said, “In the past? Difficult and impossible to get rid of. Lately, super easy and very short-term.”

“Tucker,” TJ said warningly.

From his voice, Hope could tell he’d moved closer. She glanced over her shoulder. TJ did not look pleased. “It’s not like I’m not going to learn every one of your secrets anyway,” she told him.

“Inside. Now.”

Bossy. And hot.

She rolled her eyes—and made sure he saw it—then left the boys out front and headed for the kitchen. She found Delaney just finishing loading the dishes in the dishwasher.

Hope crossed to the sink and rinsed the last two bowls before handing them to Delaney.

“What did Tucker mean when he said that TJ used to like difficult women who were impossible to get rid of and now he goes for super easy and short-term?” she asked. She wasn’t really a beat-around-the-bush kind of girl.