Getting Lucky (7 page)

Or that’s what Hope wanted to believe. “Then why did she leave?” he asked.

“She was a wanderer,” Hope said. “She always said that if we weren’t meant to see the world, it wouldn’t have been created so big and diverse. If everything else was just like our own backyard, she’d be content to stay put. But there was always more to see and do and try. Even if she had fallen deeply in love, she would have been grateful for the experience and for the fact that it allowed her to be a mother, but she wouldn’t have thought it meant she should stay in one place.”

TJ frowned. “It sounds to me like she used all of that to justify her doing whatever she wanted.”

He thought Hope could be offended by that observation, but instead, she laughed lightly.

“I know. Trust me, I know.”

He found himself taking a couple more steps forward. Now they were more like five feet apart. Way too close. But he couldn’t make himself back up.

Red flag, for sure.

But he’d never been real good at obeying red flags.

“You do?” he asked. “You didn’t believe all of that?”

She sighed. “I didn’t. For a long time, through my teenage years, I thought she was just coming up with excuses to keep from getting serious about anything—and not just guys. I mean, she was always changing something—where we lived, where she worked, what she ate, her hobbies. It was always something new. Do you know that she was within a few hours of finishing four different degrees? But by the time it came down to the final classes, she was bored and on to the next thing. She always said she’d learned what she needed to at that point and was ready for a new challenge.”

Hope huffed out a breath, and TJ was reminded she was simply holding her shirt up with her hands, and with one wrong move, that shirt could be floating in the middle of his pond. Not that he needed much reminding.

“She frustrated you.” It wasn’t a question. It was clear on her face. But that surprised him.

“She did.” Hope sighed. “Which is why I’m here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I spent my childhood thinking she was the coolest, most fun mom in the world. There was always something new going on. If I wanted to try something or do something or go somewhere, we did it. Life was like this big adventure.” A slight frown pulled her eyebrows together. “But when I got to be about twelve, I started to really understand that most moms weren’t like her, and instead of thinking she was cool, I thought she was weird. I started wanting to fit in, and she ended up embarrassing me. Then I got older and more responsible and her irresponsibility drove me crazy. When I was old enough, about sixteen or so, people starting coming to
me
when the bills were late or when she hadn’t shown up for work. And I started to see her as a little wacky and a lot flaky. I left for college and just kind of reveled in being away from all of that.”

TJ was even more surprised. Hope wasn’t what she seemed. That was…intriguing.

Dammit.

“But then I grew up even more and I saw some of the depression and cruelty and sadness in the world. I hated that. I longed to be back with my mom, who always saw the positives and truly made everyone around her happy. I decided to go home and get back in touch with some of that and open my mind up to her.”

Her voice had gotten husky, and not in a good way. In an I’m-trying-not-to-cry way. TJ instinctually stepped closer. “And did you?”

“For about a month. And then she died.”

Well…crap.

TJ took the final two steps between them. He’d stopped trusting his instincts about two and a half years ago, but this one was too strong to resist. He wrapped his good arm around Hope and pulled her into him.

Holy crap, that felt good.

Hope was all for being touchy-feely. She’d been raised by Melody Daniels after all. But dang, touching and feeling TJ Bennett was beyond her experience.

Hot. Hard. Huge.

Those were the first three words that came to mind.

She wrapped her arms around him as well. She had, for sure, never hugged someone as big as TJ.

He was so much taller than her that her chest hit him at about belly-button level.

She breathed in the scent of his laundry detergent and the scent that was all him—a combination of fresh air and cut grass and coffee and something she’d never smelled but that made her want to get even closer.

Though that would require fewer clothes and maybe a firm surface…

“I’m going to talk to my Uncle Dan if Dad doesn’t get it done soon,” TJ said against the top of her head. “I promise.”

That was so nice. He had heard what she’d said about meeting Dan and just getting to know him. He was going to—

Suddenly, she jerked back. “Oh my God!” She covered her mouth with her hands.

Belatedly, she realized that her chest against TJ’s midsection had been what was holding her top up since her arms had been around him.

TJ’s reflexes had kept the shirt from falling, and he now clutched it against his stomach, frozen.

His gaze on her bare breasts set off fireworks in her. Her whole body got hot and felt as if it was being touched with the end of a sparkler. Especially her nipples.

She watched him swallow hard and his fist crumpled her blouse. Then he tipped his head back, focused on the sky above and sighed.

“Are you okay?” he asked. His voice sounded strangled.

She didn’t answer at first. He was studying the clouds overhead as if they were the most fascinating things he’d ever seen.

And her bare breasts were right in front of him.

Nice.

She crossed her arms. She was very comfortable being naked. Not necessarily in front of everyone or even in front of one guy she’d just met. But she’d been raised in what some of her friends called a
naked house
. Melody had been very free with…everything. Hope didn’t have hang-ups about nudity and sex and some of the other things that most people did. It was all completely natural. Plus, she did a lot of yoga and loved kickboxing and had genetically great skin and breasts. She had no problem being naked.

She and TJ were roughly the same age, healthy, single. There was definitely chemistry between them. Him seeing her naked shouldn’t be weird. In fact, it should be a lot of fun.

“Are you okay?” he asked again, since she hadn’t answered.

He was still looking up.

“No, actually.”

At that answer, his chin came down and he looked at her. To his credit, he focused on her face. First. His gaze did drop lower again, but only for a millisecond. Then he was staring into her eyes as if they held the secrets of the universe.

She shook her head. Either he was
very
much a gentleman or he was a monk.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

He was gripping her shirt so hard she didn’t think she’d ever get the wrinkles out.

She was pretty sure he was not a monk. There was a distinct lack of crucifixes in his house, for one thing.

She was attracted to him.
Very
attracted to him. Like rub-herself-all-over-him-like-a-cat attracted to him. And she was now half-naked right in front of him. And he was
not
looking at her half-naked right in front of him. Okay.

Hope took a step closer and TJ quickly stepped back.

She narrowed her eyes and did it again. He took a bigger step this time. He was going to step off the dock into the pond at this rate.

She was about to ask him what his problem was but then she remember her reason for pulling back in the first place. “Wait, I just realized you’re my
cousin
.”

And that would make sense why he was stoically looking anywhere
but
at her bare breasts. She covered herself with her hands.

He looked completely confused. “I’m your…” Then understanding dawned on his face. “My Uncle Dan isn’t actually my uncle. He’s my dad’s best friend from high school. We just call him uncle sometimes.”

She let those words sink in. Not really his uncle. So she was not really his cousin. So her attraction to him was…fine.

“Thank God,” she breathed. Relief flooded through her, even stronger than she would have expected. She let her hands drop. Yes, being attracted to her brother or cousin would have been very, very icky. But her relief wasn’t just about it being okay to feel attracted. Her mind—or her body perhaps—instantly recognized the fact that this meant she could
act
on that attraction.

So could he.

He cocked an eyebrow. “That happy to not be related to me?”

Hope had the impression that TJ Bennett really liked and respected honesty. He’d met his dad head-on with the question about being her father, and he’d been upfront about Dan’s issues.

“Yes,” she said with a nod.

TJ hesitated for a moment. He also kept staring at her face like he’d die if his gaze wandered even a centimeter lower. She found that equally amusing and offensive.

Finally, he asked, “Why is that?”

There was something in his eyes or his tone or maybe the air between them that made her think that he knew the reason for her relief.

But if he didn’t…

“Because I’ve been fighting an attraction that would be inappropriate if we were related.”

TJ pulled a long breath in through his nose, held it, then blew it out. “I see.”

I see? That was the only reaction?

She waited. She had essentially just given him permission to look at her breasts as much as he wanted.

All at once, he thrust her shirt at her. “Here.”

A gentleman. That had to be the reason. He wasn’t a monk and they weren’t related.

Or he wasn’t attracted.

But he didn’t seem bored or unimpressed or unaware of her. He was actually acting very aware, and like he was fighting it.

So he was uptight. And that made more sense than the gentleman thing for some reason.

Naked bodies made him uncomfortable.

Yep, that was it. As soon as the thought occurred to her, Hope knew it was right.

Perception, gut instinct, empathy—whatever she called it, she was often right when she had insights about other people.

It had always been that way. But she hadn’t understood it was unusual until high school when she’d realized that no one else in her circle of friends had the kind of awareness of other people that Hope did. They also knew nothing about astrological signs or the phases of the moon or people’s energies or any of the other things her mother had made a part of her life. So Hope had kept her knowledge to herself.

Keeping it bottled up had nagged at her though. It had also been one of the things she and her mother had fought about most often. Melody had known that Hope was ignoring her insights and she hadn’t understood why Hope wouldn’t want to embrace them. Finally, when Hope was about twenty, she’d found a way to channel her empathy and need to help others by starting at the local nursing program.

And thankfully, her hypersensitivity didn’t happen with everyone. Some people, she felt nothing for.

That was not the case with TJ Bennett.

She felt him. She was drawn to him. Felt the desire to heal him somehow. She also felt that he was drawn to her. And that he was fighting it.

“I’m okay, actually,” she said, not taking the shirt from him and stepping back slightly so he could have a better view. She stood with her arms by her sides. “I don’t mind if you look at me, TJ.”

She knew the use of his name would rattle him, and she saw the way his eyes flashed and his jaw tightened.

He said nothing. And his gaze remained on her face.

“In fact, I wouldn’t mind being completely naked and having you look at me.” She reached for the tie on the side of her skirt. She meant it. Not only was she comfortable with nudity, she
really
liked the idea of TJ looking at her. Her heart began to race.

“You’re actually going to get naked out here in the middle of nowhere with a complete stranger?” he demanded. With a huge frown.

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“Don’t you think you should be?” he asked. “You don’t know me.”

That was the weird thing, the thing she couldn’t explain and that she knew would sound crazy if she said it out loud—because it had sounded crazy to
her
when her mom had said stuff like this.

“I think I do know you,” she said anyway.

He didn’t roll his eyes exactly, but everything about his expression said that he wanted to. “Really.”

She nodded. “I do. You’re a protector. It’s obvious in everything about you. You wouldn’t hurt me.”

“Everything about me?” he repeated.

“You have a positive energy about you. People are drawn to you because of your strength—not just your physical strength, but your loyalty and integrity and even your stubbornness.”

“Oh, Jesus,” he muttered.

Then he shoved his hand through his hair, muttering something she couldn’t hear other than a very clear word at the end. Crazy.

His frown eased, but his expression was not exactly happy. He looked resigned. “I suppose you think you’re psychic or something.”