Getting a Life (14 page)

'You do make it sound interesting. Exciting even.'

'So you are thinking about it ... seriously?'

'I really don't know what to say.'

'If you won't come with me, then I won't go.'

'Oh no. No, you can't do that to me.' She shook herself free of him. 'I won't be responsible for you staying at home and missing out on all the opportunities you say it would offer.'

'Oh Joanne. Please don't be this way. I really do ... well I do love you. But I simply can't commit to marrying you. Not for a while yet. I'm so sorry. I will sort myself out, I promise you.'

'Let me know when you have, then. And you know that despite everything, I do love you. Go home now.'

'But you can't... you can't leave me this way. Not knowing.'

'I can. You have to grow up Mike. Things don't just happen because you want them to. You have to work at it.'

'I know all about that. So are you saying you won't even think about coming with me?'

'I simply don't know. If you're not willing to commit to me, how can I leave everything here? Leave my home and my job. Any prospects I might have? You're asking too much of me.'

'But you can't mean...'

'I'm afraid I do. I really don't think I can come. Not under those circumstances.'

Sadly, he left her. He kissed her once more and it felt horribly like the end of everything. She sat in front of her computer, staring into space. What should she do? Who could she talk to? There was nobody she could explain it all to. It was a long old day. She went to bed early and lay awake for much of the night. He'd said he loved her hadn't he? But ... there was always a but.

On Monday, Trisha met her on her way out to her car.

'What's up with you? You look so incredibly miserable.'

'I think we're all through, Mike and I. It's a bit sad and I just feel a bit depressed about it all.'

'Well come and have supper with us. Not sure what you'll get but it's all on again with us. Was it another woman? Maybe the one I saw him with, that night?'

'No. It's a job in America. He's been offered an excellent post over there and he wants to go. He's asked me to go with him.'

'And you don't want to?'

'It isn't that. I do want to go. Of course I do in some ways. But it would mean so many changes in my life.'

'You'd be getting the man of your dreams. Or is that my romantic imagination flying again?'

'I have my home to think about. He says I could let it but I love it. I don't really want anyone else living there.'

'I wouldn't like to have to make the choice.'

'Suppose I did go with him and then we decided we weren't going to work out?'

'Everyone has to make those sort of choices all the time.'

'I suppose I don't really want to go. He's probably agreed to it by now. Not to worry. Plenty more fish in sea, as they say.'

'Come on round to my place. Follow me home, why don't you? I'd be really pleased if you would. You were so kind to me when we broke up. Now we're properly back together again, I'd really like to help you.'

'I think not, really. But thanks very much for asking me. I'll be fine. It's okay. I'll see you tomorrow.'

'If you're sure. I'll call you later.'

'Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Really.'

She got into her car and drove away, giving Trisha a friendly wave as she passed her. Hopefully, she'd take that as a signal that all was well in the world of Joanne, even if it wasn't. It was a long week. She heard nothing more from Mike and she assumed he was probably packing for his trip to America. She could plan to go and see her parents at the weekend. She had rarely ever gone to see her parents, except when they asked her to go. Now, here she was thinking she would go to see them. Now, everything hung heavily around her and she was getting more and more fed up. She was about to call her parents when there was a knock at her door. She went to open it and there stood Mike, a large bouquet in his arms.

'I'm so sorry,' he began. 'I'm sorry. Here, please take these before I drop them.'

'Come in. And thank you very much. They are lovely. The flowers I mean. I take it this is a farewell gesture?'

'Farewell? No of course it isn't.'

'So are you going to America or not?'

'I'm not. I haven't actually told my father yet. He still thinks I might be going. I told the company thanks for asking me but I'd decided against. They weren't too pleased.'

'Gosh, I bet they weren't.' She found that her heart was racing madly. If he'd decided not to go to America, what did that mean for them?

'Look, will you come out somewhere this evening? I feel the need to treat you to a meal out at the very least.' She was surprised. But he'd turned down the job so that must mean something. Were things going to be okay again?

'I suppose going out is a possible option.' She resisted the idea of offering to cook something at home. It would be good to go out somewhere. 'All right. I'll come out with you. I haven't started to cook anything yet. Give me time to put these in water and to change.'

'Excellent.' She left the room. He sat down and looked at a magazine that was lying around. He desperately wanted to go upstairs and watch her change but he knew it was the wrong thing to do. How could he possibly explain about his problems to her? He was saving up every penny he earned and once he'd been able to sort out his problems, he would make it up to her. Meantime, he had a huge favour to ask of her.

'You look nice,' he told her, though she was wearing one of her hippy style skirts which he liked, but knew that it didn't do her justice.

'Sorry, I haven't got very much to choose from in my wardrobe. It's seriously due a make over.'

'Where do you want to go to?'

'Up to you. I'm happy with whatever you fancy. Burgers or no.'

'McDonalds it is then.' She caught his grin as she got into his car. She knew he had somewhere special in mind.

They went to a lovely little pub near to the river. It had a cosy dining room and was full of people. He had reserved a table, high in the hopes that she would accompany him. He was planning to telephone to cancel, if by chance she refused to go with him.

'This is very pleasant, she told him. 'Well done for securing a table. There aren't any other spaces at all.'

The waiter took their order for drinks and came back with them, bearing a menu for each of them. They chose their dishes while they were drinking. He wanted a steak and she chose fish. She realised she felt very comfortable with the evening. Perhaps everything was going to be all right after all. They weren't about to finish after all. Was she happy about that? Maybe.

'I have a huge favour to ask you.' She paused in her eating. Whatever did he want her to do now?

'Go on,' she said.

'You said you'd come to look at our system and make some suggestions. Dad agreed to it if the offer is still open. We have a problem in reconciling various parts of it in the deal and it needs a bit of something doing to tweak it.'

'What?' she burst out.

'I know it's a terrible cheek but we're desperate.'

'So this is your reason for coming and taking me out?' She felt angry. Furious in fact. 'And flowers?

'No of course it wasn't. I really wanted to see you and well, have the chance to talk properly.

'It doesn't feel that way to me.'

'I'm sorry. Forget I even mentioned the wretched computer. I'll see about getting someone in. I said it completely without thinking. Of course it must look that way to you. I am so sorry. Forget it. Please.'

She thought for a while. He certainly had a cheek. Just when she thought they were getting on well, he had to spring that on her. She really couldn't speak for a while. She ate her fish, rather than toss it all over him. He also continued to eat his meal. When she had finished, she spoke again, having calmed down a little.

'How was your father about the job?'

'He was slightly disinterested as a matter of fact. He still thinks I'm probably going to America, as I said.'

'Oh you are so wicked,' she commented. 'Keeping the poor man hanging by a thread like that.'

'He's amazingly amenable to my suggestions at present. It's worth it to keep him on-side. He's listened to a whole heap of suggestions lately.'

'That's all good for you, isn't it?'

'Well yes, I suppose it is. I suspect he wants everything to be sorted before I leave. I'm very much in charge of everything computer oriented. He is in charge of the machinery that makes things and I do the computer stuff. Except that I can't make something work.' She thought for another moment or two.

'All right. I'll come and take a look at it. I don't like the way you went about asking me but okay, I'll come and take a look.'

'That's really very good of you. But as I said, I wasn't thinking straight when I asked you. It was totally clumsy of me. You really don't have to, you know.'

''Here comes our pudding. It looks wonderful. Much better than anything I'd have cooked at home.' They both tucked in and were silent for a while.

'I wanted to ask you something else.'

'Oh yes? How much time will this one take me?'

'I'm sorry. This is more of a social type activity.

'Go on then.'

'There's a family wedding coming up soon. Will you be my plus one?'

'Who's getting married?'

'Some cousin. I'm not so close but Mum seems to think I should go. I'd be very pleased if you came with me. No strings, I promise you.'

'Now there's a break through,' she replied. 'When is it?'

'A week tomorrow. Only if you want to come of course.' Again, she paused before giving him her answer. If she said yes, it was tantamount to going out with him again. She felt so tempted to say yes but she knew she needed some time to consider it.

'I'll think about it. How's your pudding?'

'Very good thanks.'

She thought as she was eating. He seemed to think they were all on again. As if nothing had ever gone wrong. If she agreed to accompany him to this wedding, wasn't she feeding into that thought? She wanted it to be back to where they were before. Of course she did, but she felt she couldn't rely on him. It was no way to live. They chatted about things less controversial for a while. It felt like old times and she was relaxed and felt happier. She reached a decision.

'I've thought about the wedding. As long as there really are no strings, I'll come to your wedding with you. I'll have to find something new to wear, though. I'll go shopping before then. How posh is it likely to be?'

'Fairly posh, I expect.'

They chatted comfortably for the rest of the evening, nothing too demanding waiting round the corner, she hoped. But then, she had come to realise that with Mike, one could never tell what lay round the corner. She invited him in when they got back to her place and he was delighted.

'How's the upset with your flatmate?' she asked him.

'Still on-going I'm afraid. I feel I'm on the way out of that place in the near future.'

'What will you do?'

'Go back home I suppose. It will mean a pause in my escorting duties for a bit.'

'But if you're saving money, anyway?'

'I suppose I could say we're meeting up.'

'You mean meeting me, the eternal excuse for everything?'

'I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean it to sound like that. Oh heavens, I've put my foot in it again haven't I?'

'You have indeed. But never mind. I'm getting used to it now. '

'I suppose I should go now. Unless you...?'

'I think you need to go. Before you say something else that upsets me. I'll see you soon to fix your computer.'

'That would be terrific. Thanks so much. I hope it won't take up too much of your time. It may be something small. I hope so anyway.'

'Shall I come tomorrow?'

'Really? That would be great. Nobody will be around so that would be perfect.'

'Okay. I'll meet you at the factory. About nine-thirty?'

'Thank you so much.'

He left her, after kissing her gently on the lips. He was so uncertain about her and felt he really needed to be very careful how he handled her. She watched as he drove away, wondering what on earth she had done. Was she inviting a whole new load of anguish into her life? Probably. It was more than likely, when Mike was in the picture.

Chapter Twelve

'It's really terrific you've agreed to look at this for us. Thanks so much.' He had powered up the machine and she looked at the various components. She took some time looking before she attempted to work on it. Mike stood back, watching her working. He was so impressed with her and desperately wanted just to touch her.

'Okay. I suspect the problem is with the software. I'll write a small programme to get round this but I think you need an upgrade very soon. I know this will be expensive but it is very necessary.' She was concise and straight to the point.

'I doubt the old man will accommodate it. He is so pessimistic about getting value from anything. Anyway, I will tell him. And thank you so much for all your efforts. You've been brilliant for even looking at it.'

'I'm pleased to be able to help. If you do get the new programme, I'll come and install it for you. Get you running smoothly again. What time is it? If I'm to go shopping, I need to move, I should think. If I need to get something new to wear for this wedding, I'd better be on my way.'

'Do you want me to come with you?'

'You? Choosing clothes? I don't think so.'

'I wanted to do something to make up for the time you've spent here.'

'I'll be fine, thanks.'

'I hope you'll have time to find something before the dress shops all close. You could be lucky and find the perfect item right away.'

'You obviously haven't been shopping lately,' she commented. She left him looking after her. He felt sad that he wasn't going to be spending the rest of the day with her.

She scoured the shops in town but could find nothing she liked or felt was suitable. The following week was a busy one for her. Between her lectures, she made several sorties into the shops but by Friday, she had found nothing suitable to wear to a posh wedding. She would have to call it off. Mike was not going to be too pleased but it was the only solution. She phoned him on the Friday evening.