Get Somebody New (15 page)

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Authors: Michael Lewis

BOOK: Get Somebody New
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“Stop! Get
your grimy ass hands offa me!”

“I ain’t
leaving until I get what I came for.”

“You are such
a joke! Man if you don’t get your corny ass out of here. You don’t have to do
shit for Jazz. We’ll take care of it. You can go.”

Jamal
wouldn’t take no for an answer. He kept trying to kiss me. He tried to undo my
pants and I slapped his hands away. Finally he just laid on top of me and
wouldn’t let me up. He tried again to kiss me and I bit his lip hard enough to
draw blood. He wrapped his hands around my neck to keep me still but it didn’t
work. He tried to kiss me again and Jazz walked in the door just as I slapped
the shit out of Jamal.

“What the
hell is going on here?”

“Oh what’s up
Thuglife?” Jamal said in a mocking tone to Jazz.

Jazz was
already mad over the bogus arrest and false charges and he snapped. He picked
Jamal up over his head and sent him crashing to the floor and through my
tempered glass coffee table. Jazz is 6’4” and slim weighing about 195 lbs.
Jamal is about the same height but thicker at about 225 lbs. Jazz picked Jamal
up as if he weighed 5 pounds. Jamal, momentarily dazed from the fall, bounced
up to fight but pulled his gun instead. Jazz reached out and snatched it from
him. Luckily, Jazz didn’t shoot him with it.

“Man, I’m
gonna spare your life. If we were in the street, I’d kill your bogus ass for
pulling a gun on me. I understand you have a problem seeing Zeke with someone
else. Get over it and stop acting like a little bitch. Get outta here before I
change my mind.” Jazz said handing Jamal his gun back minus the bullets.

Jamal
scrambled out the door without looking back. Jazz turned to me and just glared
at me. After seeing what he did to Jamal I was not quick to say anything smart.

“Why was he
here?”

“I called him
and told him I needed to talk to him. I told him what he did to you was wrong.
He admitted that he lied but then he said the only way he would fix it was if I
had sex with him. I told him to get out. Then he tried to force the issue.”

“He did what?
What exactly do you mean by force the issue? Cause if he did what I think then
I’m gonna find that motherfucker and kill him.”

“He just laid
on me and kept trying to kiss me. I hit him a couple of times and then you came
in.”

“I told you I
didn’t want you begging that nigga for shit. He lied on me plain and simple so
I am not worried about that bull shit.”

“I wasn’t
begging him for anything.”

"Let me
make it plain to you. I don’t like that nigga at all. I don’t want you talking
to him again. Don’t call him, don’t invite him over, and don’t contact him. If
you see his ass on the street and he speaks, ignore him and go the other way.
You understand me?”

“You don’t
order me to do anything, you ask me.”

“What? After
what he did to you? Cheated with your best friend and then tried to make you
fuck him by to drop false charges on me? I meant what I said. I ain’t asking
I’m telling you.”

“Okay,
whatever Jazz.”

I got up to
go to my bedroom and Jazz caught me by the arm.     
“Hold up don’t ‘whatever’ me and walk away. Don’t ever dismiss me like that. Is
anything I’m telling you wrong? Don’t you understand why I feel like this? It’s
almost like you’re trying to defend that fool.”

“It’s not
what you’re telling me, it’s how you are telling me.”

“Zeke what
damn difference does it make?”

“Don’t yell
at me. Why are you walking up to me like that? My only point was you could have
said it differently. I’ve been with a control freak before and I am not trying
to do that again. So excuse me if I get defensive about being ordered to do
something.”

“Zeke come
here. Baby, I would never, ever hit you and please don’t ever think that. You
remember when we were lying in bed talking after we made love the first time?”

“Yes.”

“You remember
what I asked you?”

“Yes.”

“What did I
ask?”

“If I would
trust you to protect me.”

“What did you
tell me?”

“I said I
would.”

“Okay then. I
am not saying you can’t take care of yourself. You promised to let me do it, so
let me. I meant what I said. I don’t want him around you cause you’re mine now
and he needs to understand that. I love you Zeke. Can’t you understand where
I’m coming from?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then
who’s your man?”

“You are.”

“Who’s my
baby?”

“I am.”

Jazz placed
my hand on the rapidly growing hardness that lay between his legs.

“Every time
you think about or see Jamal, I want you to think about this. Remember how much
I love you and that I’m willing to protect our relationship at all costs.”

I placed my
hands under his shirt and rubbed his muscular chest and back as I kissed him.
Jazz moved his pelvis in a slow, sensual clockwise circle, his way of letting
me know he wanted to get busy. Each time he rolled his hips forward I saw the
print of his long, hard dick through the nylon basketball shorts. Just as I
reached in and grabbed it, my doorbell rang.

“Damn who is
that?” I said annoyed.   

“Well baby
you can either answer it, or we can ignore it and get busy. Which one will it
be?”

“I’m
thinking, I’m thinking.”

“Boy, go
answer that door.” Jazz said as he laughed.

I have a bad
habit of opening my door before I ask who it is. I really wished I’d asked once
I opened the door. I stood there for a few seconds because I didn’t know quite
what to say.

“Baby, who is
it?” Jazz asked as he approached the door to see who it was.

“Who is
this?” Jazz asked as he looked from the man to me.

“Uh, this is
umm, this is Elias.”

“Rachel’s
husband?”

“Yes.”

“This
motherfucker got a lot of nerve coming over here. So you like to hit women huh?
Punk let’s see if you can handle a man!”

“No Jazz.
Calm down!”

“Nah Zeke,
what he did to that poor girl was a damn shame. As nice and as pretty as she is
and this punk jumped on her like that.”

“God will
handle him in due time.”

“While we are
waiting on God, I’ll start the job so there’s less work to do.”

“Jazz stop
that! Come on in Elias.”

“I know what
I did and I am ashamed. I really am sorry. Rachel left me and filed for
divorce. She won’t talk to me and I can’t find her. I knew that you would
probably know where she was.”

“Elias, I am
her friend and I love her. I also saw what you did to her. Do you really think
I would tell you where she is? Come on now.”

“If you know
you’d better tell me.”

“Uh, No! I’d
BETTER not do a damn thing.”

“I don’t even
know why I came here.” 

“I agree with
you there. I don’t know why either. Personally, I think she made the right
decision. I wish she’d made it before now.”

“What? You’ve
probably been filling her head with a bunch of shit trying to persuade her to
leave me.”

“Even though
I knew you were mistreating her and keeping her up at night ranting like a
fucking maniac she made that choice on her own. Can you blame her?” 

“You better
watch who you’re talking to.”

“I’ll say
what the hell I want to say in my damn house, hell I’m not scared of you. If I
were a woman I would probably have cause to be a little
afraid.”    

“You are a
woman wannabe, you little faggot.”

“I don’t think
you wanna trade insults Elias, I may hurt your feelings. You can leave now.”

“You know
were Rachel is and you better tell me.”

“I better
tell you? Or what?”

“Or I’m gonna
kick your little faggot ass.”

“Okay, I’m
NOT telling you. Now start kicking.” I said amusingly with my arms folded.

I did all I
could not to laugh at Jazz as he walked up and down the hallway on patrol like
a Nazi Gestapo Guard. Elias obviously didn’t like that I’d mocked him. I didn’t
really believe he would try to do anything to me, but I was wrong. The black
Hercules stood up over me and before I knew anything he’d grabbed me by my
shirt, my three hundred fifty dollar imported Italian silk shirt.

I saw Jazz
out the corner of my eye heading toward us. Before Jazz got to us, I reached
over on my end table and grabbed a lead crystal candy bowl and upside Elias’s
head I proceeded to go. He got molly wopped upside and downside his head with
that candy bowl a couple of good times. A stunned Elias reached up and saw that
there was a little blood and he really got mad. He recomposed himself to really
lay into me. Jazz stepped in between us and punched him in the face knocking
him backwards.

“Nah bruh,
think again!”

Jazz grabbed
him by his shirt and dragged him outside.

“I didn’t
wanna get blood on the carpet Zeke. You know I’m about to beat his punk ass
right?”

“Mmm hmmm.”

I called
Rachel while I looked out the window and gave her play-by-play details.

“I can’t
believe he grabbed you Zeke.”

“I was really
smart with him and he didn’t like it. He got all huffy and started breathing
like a freight train. His eyes got all red like a bull or something. He really
got mad when I laughed at him. Have you ever thought that he may be on
steroids?”

“No why do
you say that?”

“I had an ex
who started using steroids while we were dating and I watched his
transformation. He used to go off for no reason. He would fall to pieces over
the smallest things. Once he was using a toothpick and it broke. Instead of
just getting another one of the hundreds in the container, he got mad and threw
the table. You hear me? Not a chair, he threw the whole damn table and kicked a
hole in the wall.”

“Yeah that
sounds like Elias alright. What did you do?”

“You remember
when Mister was trying to light the stove and got the kerosene? Then you saw
that empty rocking chair rocking cause Celie got the hell out of there. That’s
what my chair looked like.”

“Hahahahahahaha
Oh lord. I can just picture you looking at him with that ‘Is this Negro
serious?’ look then flying out of there.”

“Shit I
wasn’t gonna let him to do to me what he did to that table.”

“Hahaha, oh
Zeke I haven’t laughed like that in so long.”

“Elias had to
come here out of desperation if he thought I would give him any information.”

“He didn’t
think I’d leave but since being served the divorce papers he has been in damage
control mode.”

“Well I’m
proud of you. I know it was a tough decision to make.”

“You know, it
really wasn’t all that hard. I had been thinking about it then after that fool
attacked me in the dark it was a wrap. Then I saw that sermon on TV. It was
just too many coincidences happening telling me to rid my life of the
unhappiness that I was trying so hard to hold on to. Alton has really been so
nice to me.”

“My cousin is
a great man. Now you can see how horrible it was for us to see him with
Nadiah’s evil ass.”

“I can’t
believe they tried to kill him.”

“I can. That
bitch is caustic I’m telling you!”

“What
happened to her?

“She and
Ingrid are in jail.”

“That’s
good.”

“So have
y’all done the do yet?”

“No. We are
not gonna start anything romantic until our divorces are final. We want to do
this the right way so our relationship will be blessed.”

“How
admirable. I know it’s hard though. Just wait till you find out what I already
know. I’ll probably have to come pry you down off the ceiling.”

“What? What
is it? You can’t just open that can and walk away.”

“You’ll find
out in due time. It’s nothing bad. I’m just messing with you. I always wanted
to get you two together. I couldn’t wait for you to leave Elias and Alton to
leave that bat! I admit I tried to edge it along by getting you two in the same
room alone every chance I got. You two were just too perfect for each other and
both are being mistreated.”

“He is so
sweet. When he smiles, I just melt. Those dimples and his eyes are a deadly
combination. I don’t know what was wrong with Nadiah.”

“I do. Nadiah
is a lesbian in denial. She got married because her family was pressuring her.
Instead of living her life truthfully, she lived a lie to make her family happy
and made Alton’s and our family’s life hell. I don’t know why people get into
these sham marriages. If you are gay you’re gay! Live your life and find
happiness. If you are a straight, Christian preacher, with no sin to your name,
married, with 2 children, and a dog, there will still be somebody to find
fault. You can’t please people. You can only try to please God.  People
can’t do a thing for you, God can do everything for you.”  

“You are
right about that.”

“Oh, let me
go out here and make sure Jazz doesn’t kill this fool. He has been saving this
ass whipping for him since Elias slapped you, so this ass whipping was
compressed and concentrated.”

“You are so
crazy. Call me back later.”

“Ok, later
hon.”

“Jazz that’s
enough! That’s enough!”    

“Uh uhn, move
Zeke.”

“No Jazz. You
got him. Let him go.”

“No, I said
move Zeke. I ain’t finished with him.”

“No.”

“Get your ass
out of my way.”

I folded my
arms and stood in front of him. Every time he moved I stepped in front of him. Finally
Jazz gave up and stomped back into the house as he pouted. Elias crawled to his
car and left. I felt sorry for him for about 2 seconds. That’s all the pity he
deserved after all he’d put my friend through.

I went back
inside and called for Jazz but he didn’t answer. The shower was on so I figured
he didn’t hear me. I straightened up the living room and put my candy bowl back
in its proper place. When Jazz came out of the shower, I called him again.

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