Get It Done When You're Depressed (9 page)
Brain chatter is an almost constant companion if you have agitated depression. The chatter can cause severe sleep deprivation, which naturally leads to productivity problems. In addition, and perhaps worse, brain chatter won’t leave you alone, and dealing with the chatter sucks up a lot of your energy that could go toward work and other obligations.
If you have agitated depression, excessive brain chatter can also be a clue that you’re doing too much, you’re overwhelmed, your medications are not working correctly, you’ve taken an overstimulating herb, or you’ve had too much caffeine or not enough sleep. It helps to look into these areas as soon as the chatter starts. The key is to recognize the chatter, take care of it in the moment, and then see what triggered it so you can prevent it in the future.
Here are some tips for recognizing brain chatter:
• It’s often repetitive, fast, and very difficult to follow.
• It focuses on one project and doesn’t stop until you either finish or quit the project.
• It can feel like a broken record—you can actually hear parts of songs or parts of conversations you had earlier loop over and over for hours.
• It’s usually negative and very oriented toward worry.
• It’s distracting and often makes work difficult.
• The chatter can significantly affect your sleep.
When you’re aware of what this chatter sounds like to you, you can at least know that it’s caused by depression and that you can get things done even when it’s raging.
Patty’s StoryHere’s a sample of what my brain chatter said at work the other day:
This is not the desk for you. You need to clean this desk. It’s noisy here. You need to shut your door. What work are you doing? You’re behind on this work. Get up and do something. What are you having for lunch? What is your problem?
I actually wrote this down as I was hearing it. There’s no way I could have remembered it otherwise.
This is not the desk for you. You need to clean this desk. It’s noisy here. You need to shut your door. What work are you doing? You’re behind on this work. Get up and do something. What are you having for lunch? What is your problem?
I actually wrote this down as I was hearing it. There’s no way I could have remembered it otherwise.
My brain chatter is like mental gymnastics. It tires me. I wish I could say there’s always an easy solution to get it to stop, but I have difficulty with it. When I’m depressed, it’s hard enough to deal with the slow thoughts, but these racing thoughts attack me so quickly I want to put my head in my hands and squeeze them out! I know getting enough sleep helps, as does keeping the noise around me at a minimum to prevent my brain from picking up sounds and repeating them over and over.
My StoryBrain chatter is one of my main problems with depression. I definitely have lethargic and agitated depression, and I hate both of them, but this brain-in-a-blender stuff is really terrible. There are days when I actually feel my thoughts are following me around. They talk to me and try to get me to quit a project because they tell me I won’t do a good job.
I also get the chatter that tells me I need to do something else to be happy. This chatter is different from the other depressive thoughts I have because it’s so frantic. It’s a barrage that doesn’t stop. I can’t even sit and count how many thoughts there are, they come so fast. I’ll hear the same thought over and over again:
You’ll always be alone. You’ll always be alone. You’ll always be alone.
And then when I’m not alone, the chatter switches to something else:
You’ll never sell another book. You’ll never sell another book. You’ll never sell another book.
Thanks, brain! And that’s not all—a thousand other thoughts and sounds go on at the same time. These are just the main thoughts.
You’ll always be alone. You’ll always be alone. You’ll always be alone.
And then when I’m not alone, the chatter switches to something else:
You’ll never sell another book. You’ll never sell another book. You’ll never sell another book.
Thanks, brain! And that’s not all—a thousand other thoughts and sounds go on at the same time. These are just the main thoughts.
What I do now:
• I’m really, really careful not to stay out too late, even if I’m having a great time at karaoke.
• I limit alcohol and caffeinated coffee because they really mess up my sleep. My brain runs all night if I don’t watch it.
• I make myself sleep enough. I often have to take sleep medications.
• I take medications for anxiety when I get desperate.
• As much as I can, I keep away from stressful people and situations.
Is my life less fun because of a few of these things? Probably. But it’s a trade-off.
Exercise
Listen to the song “Revolution #9” by The Beatles. This song somehow captures the brain chatter of depression. If rumors are true, this song was created with more than a little help from mind-altering substances, but it’s an interesting experience to hear an external recording of what usually goes on in your head. If someone asks you what it’s like when your brain won’t turn off, you can play this song as an example.
What in the brain causes excessive brain chatter—the kind that’s very distressing and sounds like a mean auctioneer?
Many people with depression are in an almost constant state of inner self-talk. They often go over and over what they’ve done wrong or what bad things might happen. They dwell on negative thoughts in ways that are nonproductive and just serve to stir up internal distress. This kind of rumination is somewhat similar to what happens in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
In your brain, there’s a pathway between the frontal lobes that’s an alarm circuit. This gets activated when your brain senses potential trouble or danger, and the neural pathways become engaged, promoting increased attention and vigilance.
It’s also important to note that 50 percent of people with depression have agitated depression or depression that’s accompanied by significant anxiety. Such people are more prone to have lots of negative self-talk and hear the chatter. The other half are more lethargic and slow in their thinking and behavior.
The Brain Chatter Merry-Go-RoundBrain chatter can often make you feel like you’re on a merry-go-round that will never stop. You want to get off, but it feels impossible. When this happens, remind yourself that this is normal, and work on calming down your mind instead of worrying about all the negative thoughts going through your head. Brain chatter is one of the symptoms of depression you can control through life management.
Brain chatter can severely limit your ability to focus on a task, so the more you can reduce the chatter, the easier it will be to get things done.
Here are some other thoughts to consider:
• Break brain chatter by filling your mind with other thoughts by doing something that requires you to use your brain.
• Say “NO!” or “STOP!” out loud.
• Get help for anxiety.
• Sleep! A tired mind is often a chatty mind. If the brain chatter keeps you awake, talk with your doctor about sleep management.
• Watch the caffeine and alcohol. Both can cause the chatter, and both definitely can cause sleep problems that lead to more chatter.
• Explore meditation options. It may be that a practice that replaces the brain chatter with specific chants or music can help significantly.
Remember:
Brain chatter can be a sign of anxiety, sleep problems, or that you’re doing too much. Ask yourself,
Is there anything I’ve done or has anything happened to cause my brain to get so out of control?
Brain chatter can be a sign of anxiety, sleep problems, or that you’re doing too much. Ask yourself,
Is there anything I’ve done or has anything happened to cause my brain to get so out of control?
12
Write Yourself a Letter
A depressed brain is an unreasonable brain. People you care about can tell you, “You’re so talented! You definitely have the ability to do your work.” But your depressed brain might overlook the compliment and only hear, “You just need to sit down and get going!” And with that kind of thinking, the advice and support people offer can seem endless and often frustrating.
For most depressed people, it’s hard to believe what other people say. The ability to reasonably think,
Hey! They’re right!
is completely absent.
Depression Makes You Blind to Others’ HelpHey! They’re right!
is completely absent.
When you’re depressed, the well wishes and help others offer can feel very annoying. You think,
If they just lived a day in my shoes, they wouldn’t be telling me how easy it is to just do something with my life!
As a result, you may tune out all the advice and keep going in your misery. This blind, pessimistic thinking can make your depression much worse and even further isolate you from the people who want to help.
If they just lived a day in my shoes, they wouldn’t be telling me how easy it is to just do something with my life!
As a result, you may tune out all the advice and keep going in your misery. This blind, pessimistic thinking can make your depression much worse and even further isolate you from the people who want to help.
One of the most effective ways to counteract this blindness is to recognize that the “well you” might be the best person to listen to when you need help. But how do you get through to yourself when you’re depressed and don’t want to listen? You have to look inside yourself so the well you can write positive messages the depressed you can read later.
You need to help yourself when …
• Help from others feels useless.
• You’re sure nothing will help.
• You’re unable to see how you can help yourself.
• You resist the idea because you’re not big on affirmations or any “New Age-y” stuff!
• You realize you’ve been under the spell of depression for too long and it’s time for you to take control.
Using yourself as a tool to get things done may feel odd when you’re depressed, but the well you
is
inside there, and you need to utilize this part of you all you can!
Carlos’s Storyis
inside there, and you need to utilize this part of you all you can!
I’ve created affirmations and placed them all over my house. My refrigerator holds this one:
You can break the depression cycle. It’s up to you. You can make things different. It’s up to you. You can do what is right for you, not what your brain is telling you to do. You can break the depression cycle, Carlos. Soon the uncomfortable depression feelings will pass. It’s up to you.
You can break the depression cycle. It’s up to you. You can make things different. It’s up to you. You can do what is right for you, not what your brain is telling you to do. You can break the depression cycle, Carlos. Soon the uncomfortable depression feelings will pass. It’s up to you.
I have to move this sign around as I get used to it and forget to read it. It really is up to me to do what I can when I get sick. No one else is there to take care of me.
My StoryWhen I look back over my 20 years of untreated depression, I can’t think of many times when I said nice things about myself. I let the depression think for me. When I was well, I was pretty normal. But the depressed me was a monster who hated the real me. I find it hard to even come up with the language depression used to say to me. It was all I listened to. I never saw anything positive in what I did. I ran away from things a lot to try to find something that made me feel better about my work. I never found it.
What I do now:
• I write notes like this to myself in my journal all the time:
Tonight is a good night, Julie! Don’t forget that you have them. The book is going well. The ideas are flowing. It came together really well this weekend. You’re almost done with each strategy. Don’t forget this, Julie. Tonight is a good night, and there will be other good nights.
Tonight is a good night, Julie! Don’t forget that you have them. The book is going well. The ideas are flowing. It came together really well this weekend. You’re almost done with each strategy. Don’t forget this, Julie. Tonight is a good night, and there will be other good nights.
• I try to remember to read the notes I write to myself. Serious depression makes me forget to look at them.
• Reading notes to myself helps put me in touch with the real me. This keeps me from giving in to what the depressed me is saying.
Exercise
Use the following example to write a note to yourself that you can read when you feel ill, hopeless, or unproductive:
Hello
(your name here)
,
(your name here)
,
I want to remind you what you’re like when you’re not depressed. You get things done with ease. In fact, you don’t even have to think of most things such as cooking dinner or reading to your nephew. You go to work, sit down, and do what you have to do. When you get up in the morning you either just get going or you have the thought that the day is going to be a good day. You don’t think about the past, and you certainly don’t have negative thoughts all day that tell you what you’re doing wrong. You work like a normal person and feel a sense of accomplishment. You’re able to have fun and look forward to your evening when you can relax. You don’t have trouble getting to sleep. And you wake up the next day with pleasure and anticipation for what will happen that day.
Remember this,
Your well self
Your well self
Put your letter in your desk or on the wall. Or give it to a family member or friend and ask them to give you the letter when they see that you’re having trouble due to depression. This lets them get involved when you’re not able to ask for help in the moment.
Why can a depressed person listen to advice they wrote down when well, yet have trouble listening to advice from others?
When people are struggling with depression, they almost always get bombarded with “good advice.” The words are often sincere, but not so helpful:
Snap out of it! Try harder! You’ll get over it! Look on the bright side! It can’t be all that bad!
This leaves the depressed person feeling misunderstood. They believe that others can’t really know how they’re feeling, which can be entirely true.
Snap out of it! Try harder! You’ll get over it! Look on the bright side! It can’t be all that bad!
This leaves the depressed person feeling misunderstood. They believe that others can’t really know how they’re feeling, which can be entirely true.
But the depressed person knows their well self knows how they’re feeling. They know that what comes from their well self is more likely to helpful.
The Advice from the Well You Is the Best AdviceEncouragement and a reality check from the well you in your own words is much more helpful than a well-meaning but unrealistic outside voice offering the same support. A note you’ve written to yourself when you’re well and on a day when you were able to work normally can help remind you that depression is often the cause of your productivity problems, not a failing in yourself.
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