Gentling the Cowboy (24 page)

The hug he gave her in return wasn’t as enthusiastic as she would have liked, but she blamed fatigue. He’d traveled a long way and was dressed far too formally to not be miserable in the heat of the afternoon sun. He replaced his sunglasses and without smiling said, “Mom and Dad sent me after you spoke to them. They said you think you’re staying here.”

Sarah waved an arm behind her and said, “I’m happy here, Charlie. For the first time in forever I feel like I know where I belong. And I’m writing. I’m halfway through a book. Can you believe it?”

He didn’t say anything, but his mouth pressed in a straight line of displeasure. “It’s time to go home, Sarah.”

Before Sarah had time to say more, Tony appeared beside them. Country met city as they sized each other up. Two men who were used to intimidating those around them squared off in a bit of a standoff, as if waiting to see who would blink first. Sarah took Tony’s left hand in hers. “Tony, this is my brother, Charlie.”

Tony held out his hand and said, “Welcome.”

Charlie hesitated just long enough to make Sarah want to kick him.
Not here. Not now. Don’t judge this, Charlie. He means too much to me.

“Charles,” her brother said, correcting Sarah’s title for him. Their handshake looked a bit brutal on both sides. “So, this is your place.” He dropped Tony’s hand and looked around.

Tony nodded once.

Trying to lighten the mood, Sarah asked, “You must be tired, Charlie. Let’s go in the house. It’s much cooler in there.”

Her brother glanced over his shoulder at the white ranch house, then back at Sarah. His tone was arctic cold. “Is that where you’re staying?”

Tony answered for her with one curt word. “Yes.”

Charlie turned and said something to the driver, who nodded and reentered the limo, moving it to a place in the shade. “Then by all means, let’s go inside.”

As the three of them marched toward the house like it was a guillotine, Sarah searched Tony’s face. It was impossible to tell by his guarded expression if he was nervous about meeting her brother or put off by his attitude. Charlie could be a bit of a pill, but he was her only brother, and she wanted these two men to get along.

Just inside the main hallway of the house, Melanie and her son came out of the kitchen to meet them. Melanie’s reaction to seeing her brother was almost comical. Her eyes rounded, her jaw went slack, and she instantly started shoving her loose tendrils back into her ponytail.

Charlie looked over Sarah’s head at Tony and in a tone as quiet as it was deadly, he asked, “Who is she?”

Sarah jumped in, “That’s Melanie, his housekeeper.”

“Does she live here, too?”

What are you doing, Charlie? What’s with the interrogation?
“She has her own house on the other side of the barn.”

“Convenient,” Charlie said, his displeasure and innuendo clear to all.

Melanie’s face reddened. “It is since I spend most of my day working here.”

“I’m sure you do.”

Tony made a noise deep in his chest that sounded an awful lot like a warning growl. “Melanie, why don’t you and Sarah take Jace into the kitchen and get us a drink. I’m sure Charles is thirsty.”

Sarah looked back and forth between the two of them. She didn’t want to leave them. She’d really wanted their first meeting to be a pleasant one, but her brother was being an ass, and if their past was anything to go by, nothing she could say would change that.

When he made up his mind, he could be as stubborn as Tony.

I don’t know why I thought he’d approve.

He’s never approved of anything I’ve ever done.

He’ll say this is for my own good, but it’s about him. Without me, he’s probably afraid he’ll have to go home and deal with Mom and Dad himself.

Don’t judge me for leaving, Charlie—you left a long time ago.

It was that last thought that convinced Sarah that Charlie deserved whatever Tony was about to say to him.

I can’t punch Sarah’s brother.

I’d love to, but I shouldn’t.
Tony took a calming breath. “It would mean a lot to Sarah if you pretended to be happy for her.”

Charles whipped off his sunglasses and glared at Tony. “I deal in facts, not fantasy like she does. You may have her fooled, but I’ve had you investigated, and I don’t like anything I learned about you.”

One corner of Tony’s mouth curled sarcastically. “I’m beginning to understand why she had to leave Rhode Island.”

His face red with fury, Charles snarled, “You’re a violent drunk who should be rotting in jail instead of making a fool out of my sister in all the gossip rags.”

A deadly calm swept through Tony. His past had found a voice at last. He went toe to toe with Charles, striking out at him with words in a way he knew would wipe that superior look off his face. “I haven’t had a drink in four years. My guilt or innocence is my own business. But your sister, she’s a good fuck.” He regretted the words even as they came out of his mouth.

Charles hauled back to punch Tony, but Tony caught his fist in his hand, his strength buoyed by a rage that had simmered inside him for years. He dropped it in disgust and prepared for another strike.

Melanie’s voice was heard clearly in the charged quiet moment that followed. “Sarah, he didn’t mean that.”

Tony’s head spun in time to see the two glasses of lemonade in Sarah’s hands fall and shatter on the wooden floor at her feet. Shaking her head slowly back and forth, she turned and ran out the front door.

Tony looked back at Charles just in time to receive a brain-rattling punch that set him back a step. The world beneath Tony tilted and he shook his head to clear it, preparing to deliver a crushing rebuttal.

Melanie was between them before he raised his fist. She was spitting angry. She threw her glasses of lemonade in their faces, which brought them both to a shocked, temporary cease-fire. “You two just broke that girl’s heart. If one of you doesn’t chase after her to apologize, I’m coming back with a frying pan.”

The real concern in Melanie’s voice focused Tony’s attention on Sarah’s vulnerability. This wasn’t about what her brother thought of him. He’d let the mention of his past cause him to say something he would always regret.

Melanie didn’t look like she needed any help defending her honor.
She wasn’t joking about the frying pan.
Tony set off in long strides to find Sarah.

She was holding onto the railing in the corner of the porch, her pale cheeks wet with tears. He went to stand beside her, searching for what to say to erase the hurt he’d caused.

She turned to him, folded her arms protectively across her chest, and said, “Is that what you think of me? What I am to you?”

He shook his head. “Of course not.”

Her tear-filled eyes searched his. “I want to believe you. I really do, but I need you to give me a reason to.”

“What do you want me to say?” he asked, his gut clenching painfully.

She wiped her cheeks with her hands and implored, “Tell me you love me. Tell me this is real and that this summer has meant as much to you as it has to me.”

He reached for her, but she pulled back, waiting.

He wanted to say what he knew she needed to hear. He wanted to so badly that he almost did, but he chose honesty at the last second. “I care about you.”

She released an audible, shaky breath and demanded. “But you don’t love me. Say it. Stop pretending to be someone I could spend the rest of my life with, and just say it.”

He rubbed his chin and shook his head sadly. “I want to love you.”

Her eyes filled with tears, but she straightened her shoulders and said, “Okay.”

He hadn’t wanted to hurt her. He’d never wanted to hurt her. He grabbed her arm. “I didn’t mean what I said back there to your brother. I let my temper choose my words and I’m sorry.”

She pulled her arm out of his grasp and said, “It’s fine. I understand. I shouldn’t have left the two of you alone. I knew my brother was being a bastard. I guess I hoped you’d put him in his place.” A lone tear ran down her face. “I just didn’t know you’d use me to do it.”

“Sarah, don’t . . .”

She met his eyes and he knew that no matter what he said, he’d already lost her. She held up a hand in request for him to stop talking. “Please. Stop. I know you said it to hurt my brother and not me, but maybe I needed to hear it. I was imagining us living happily ever after, but you can’t do that, can you? Because you can’t let yourself be happy.”

He didn’t have to say anything. She knew him too well.

“I’m going to hook up my trailer and load Scooter. If you can ask Melanie to come see me, I’d appreciate it.”

She’s leaving. She’s really leaving.

“I can ready your trailer for you.”

Sarah shook her head sadly. “No, I’ll do it myself. Just get Melanie.”

Tony turned and walked back into the house. Charles was headed toward the front door when they met up. The two men stopped and glared at each other.

Tony said, “She’s packing up.”

“Good,” Charles said curtly. They both knew he’d gotten what he came for. There was nothing left for him to say.

The same couldn’t be said for Tony. He took a step closer and said, “Get your head out of your pin-striped ass and say something nice to her.”

“I don’t need someone like you to tell me how to deal with my sister,” Charles countered coldly.

Tony leaned closer and said, “From where I’m standing, it looks like you do—before you lose her, too.” Having spoken his mind, Tony walked away to find Melanie.

Sarah was loading the rest of Scooter’s tack into the front compartment of her horse trailer when Melanie joined her.

“The boys could have done all that for you,” she said.

Sarah closed the door of the trailer, leaning against it with one hand. “I wanted to. I needed to do something while I calmed down.”

“Did you talk to your brother yet?”

Glancing over at the limo she knew Charlie had returned to, Sarah shook her head. “No, I’m surprised he didn’t storm over here and gloat, but I’m grateful he didn’t. I don’t think I could handle him right now.”

“Where are you going?”

“I was hoping you’d have an idea of someplace that boards horses.”

“You heading back to Rhode Island?”

Sarah leaned her back against the trailer and closed her eyes. “I don’t know where I’m going, but I have some money saved so I have options.”

“What about that friend who owns a cattle ranch? You made up.”

Sarah opened her eyes and shook her head. “Lucy? She has her own problems. I need a peaceful place where I can finish my book. That’s the important thing to me now, that I finish what I came down here to do.”

“You could stay with my parents. They have a place a few towns over. Very quiet. They’ve always had horses. They wouldn’t even notice Scooter. There is an in-law apartment they don’t use. I’m sure they’d let you stay for free.”

“I don’t mind paying rent. It sounds wonderful, but if it’s that great why don’t you live there?”

Melanie tried to make light of something she was clearly uncomfortable discussing. “Could you live with your parents?”

“Okay, good point.”

“I’ll call them now. They’re only a few hours away.”

“Is that enough notice?”

“I’m sure it is. I’ll run in and call them. Give me five minutes.”

Sarah nodded. “Mel, one other thing.”

“Anything.”

Sarah swallowed painfully. “Could you pack up my stuff and bring it down?” Just the thought of doing it herself made her stomach twist and threaten to hurl. She covered her mouth with one shaky hand. “I can’t go back in there.”

Melanie smiled sympathetically and hugged her. “Sure thing, hon.”

Sarah hugged her back and marveled that their friendship had blossomed despite its rocky start. “I’ll miss you, Mel.”

“You’re only going a few hours away, not dying. Jace and I will come visit you. With you there, my family may actually behave long enough for me to survive a visit.”

After Melanie had gone back into the house, Sarah knew she couldn’t put the unpleasant off any longer. The limo driver opened the back passenger door for her as she approached and she slid into the air-conditioned domain of her brother.

Charlie pocketed his cell phone and said, “I can’t wait to get back to civilization. My cell phone works everywhere, but not here. Leave your vehicle for now. As soon as we’re on the highway I’ll send a driver for it. I have a private plane waiting in an airfield just outside Dallas. You’ll be home by tonight.”

It was obvious that Charlie still considered Scooter no different than a vehicle. Just another item to be shipped up North and another part of her life that he didn’t understand.

Bracing herself with a hand on either side of her, Sarah said, “I’m not going back to Rhode Island. Not today. Maybe not ever.”

Charlie gave her an impatient look. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you are.”

“No, Charlie, I’m not. I came to Texas because I wanted to find out what was holding me back from writing—from being who I felt I should be.” He didn’t understand, but this time Sarah needed him to. “You know what I discovered? I was all locked up inside myself. We never really talked about what happened with Phil because that’s the deal we made that summer—we’d close off that chapter of our lives and pretend it never happened. But you know what living a lie does to you? It kills you slowly, Charlie. It’s not healthy.”

Charlie’s face hardened at the mention of the brother they’d lost. “What’s not healthy is thinking that embarrassing yourself down here with some has-been celebrity is going to do anything more than hurt Mom and Dad. Grow up, Sarah.”

Slapping the leather beside her, Sarah said, “No, you grow up, Charlie. Grow up and face that something awful happened to our family and none of us got over it. You’re not here to save me. Admit to yourself that the only reason you want me back in Rhode Island is so you don’t have to be. I’m done pretending I never had a little brother. I don’t care if it upsets Mom and Dad, I’m going to ask them to send me pictures of him—pictures of all of us together. I want to remember him. I’m going to remember him. And if you can’t handle that, go back to New York and hide.” When Charlie remained stone-faced, Sarah asked, “Do you blame me, Charlie? Is that why you can’t discuss it?”