Generational Sins (27 page)

I was grateful for the tint on the back windows of my car. It was dark in this corner of the parking lot, but still I had no desire to be interrupted by a curious security guard or passing shopper. I didn't want to undress her here. We would make due.

She was tugging painfully at the short hairs on the back of my neck while she returned my heated kisses. I pried her fingers away from me and instead wrapped her hands around the 'oh shit' handle above my head. "Don't let go," I said, half command, half plea.

She was straddling me, her legs on either side of mine. My back was to the window. With her hands raised above us both, her body was displayed perfectly for me. I used both hands, each mirroring the other as I moved along her body. I tracked my fingers down her wrists and over her forearms, tracing the contours of her elbows.

I increased the pressure as I reached her shoulders, curling my hands under her shoulder blades, through her t-shirt. She arched her back, presenting her incredible tits to me and I pressed my face between them. I lowered my hands to the hem of her shirt and lifted it, exposing her stomach and lower back to my touch. She sighed when my skin finally came in contact with hers, and she relaxed visibly under my ministrations. I pressed into her, holding her close and touching every inch of her smooth skin that I could reach under her t-shirt.

I lifted her shirt over her breasts and gently nuzzled her with my nose and cheek. I placed deep open mouthed kisses to her breast bone, then all along the top of her bra, finally taking one of her clothed nipples into my mouth, and pinching the other gently. She moaned softy and swung back and forth supporting her weight on her arms.

I caressed her sides as I moved my hands lower on her body. Her shirt fell back into place, and my lips found hers once again. The yoga pants that my mother had lent her sat low on her hips and even in the dark I could see the outlines of his fingers. There were bruises forming on her hipbones from where he had held her as he raped her. I choked back a sob and pressed my fingers to the marks.

"Let go," I said softly, moving forward and laying her down on the seat under me. I pressed my lips to the delicate skin at her side, kissing a line from the bottom of her ribcage to the bruising at her hips. She squirmed beneath me.

"Please, more," she whispered. Her voice was barely audible over the pounding in my chest. I physically ached as I kissed her battered skin. Her skin grew wet from tears that I didn't even know were falling from my eyes.

I poured out my heart to her, telling her how beautiful she was, begging for her forgiveness. She squirmed under me until she could capture my mouth with hers, and then she kissed me with more passion than I had ever felt. She somehow squirmed out of her pants and underwear and wrapped her bare legs around me. The way that she clung to me was both erotic and desperate. I was powerless to stop.

I shoved my pants down to my knees and then slid my arms under her shirt gripping her shoulders from behind as I pushed into her. She cried out as I entered her and for a moment I thought that I had hurt her, but then she bucked her hips against me and begged me in a rough voice to fuck her.

I swallowed her cries with my mouth and did as she asked. I tried to make love to her as slowly as I could, not wanting to hurt her, but she used her hips to increase the pace. I gave into her desires, dominating her body the way she craved. I lowered my lips to her neck and told her how incredible she felt wrapped around me.

"Yes, fuck me... harder David, please... make me forget..."

I did my best to do just that. I shifted her legs so that I could reach even deeper inside her. I wanted her to feel every inch of me. I reclaimed her thoroughly.

When I knew that she was close I pinched her clit. "Come for me," I commanded.

The combination of my fingers and voice sent her over the edge and her walls contracted around me. I continued to pound into her ignoring the painful sensation building in my balls.

I bit her neck gently, and changed the angle, driving into her even harder.

"So fucking good, Kat. I want you to come again for me. Let go sweetheart."

I kept up the steady rhythm, holding out for her, desperate to feel her falling apart around me again. She relaxed and submitted her body to me. Like putty in my hands, I shaped her into the ultimate object of my desire, using her body for my own pleasure and granting her pleasure in return.

"You belong to me," I panted, never ceasing my thrusts.

"Only you," she agreed and then she fell over the edge again, this time taking me with her.

I lay sweating and sated under David in the backseat of his car. He had given me what I needed. He was what I needed. He always has been.

Physically I still felt terrible. I was jittery and exhausted. I wanted a shower now more than ever, but in some grotesque way, the stickiness between my legs was oddly comforting. It was a reminder that David still wanted me, that he would protect me, that he would kill for me.

My lady parts were aching. Richard had hurt me worse than I had originally realized, and when David slid into me, the pain was fairly intense. I had been surprised by it, but quickly hid my discomfort. I knew that David was in no shape to punish me, but a part of me truly wanted to be punished. I had disobeyed a direct order from David by leaving the car, and I deserved the pain that came as a result. Every stroke he gave me brought me closer to atonement, and for that I was grateful.

We awkwardly redressed ourselves and checked the time. It had been long enough. We needed to get to Ellen's now.

We silently made our way from the back of the car to the more typical driving arrangement, and David flipped on the heater. It was chilly now that the sun had gone down and the rainy atmosphere made me shiver.

I caught his eye before he shifted into drive. "Thank you, for everything," I said.

"I love you," he replied.

We started the short journey back to his parent's house. Despite the fear in the pit of my stomach, I had a feeling that everything was going to be all right. The worst was behind us.

The cop cars lining the drive were lit up like demented Christmas lights even an hour and a half after the supposed accident. It seemed like every officer in a fifty-mile radius had been called in. It appeared that Ellen was correct. The police had a vested interest in Richard's well being. David navigated slowly through them, coming to a stop in front of the house. His eyes were still swollen and red from crying, and I was glad. Hopefully they would not question his grieving.

David got out of the car and then walked around and held my door open. I took his hand as we walked through the crowd of police, lawyers, and press looking for Ellen. David identified himself to several police officers and then was lead to his mother.

The two came together in a teary embrace. To the outside world it would have appeared to be mother and son grieving together over a tragic accident, but I saw it for what it was, the reunion of two souls who thought that they would never be reunited. Ellen had thought her son was gone forever. David lived in constant fear for his mother. The expressions on their faces looked like sadness, but I knew those were truly tears of relief.

A short while later a detective, who looked oddly familiar to me, introduced himself to us and explained the current situation. It appeared that they believed our planted crime scene. The rainy, cold weather worked to our advantage. They thought he'd taken the bend too fast and lost control.

Ellen had supposedly called them after hearing a crash and then going to investigate. Richard was found dead inside the car. The cause of death was head trauma. Ellen had denied the request for an autopsy stating that it was unnecessary. She preferred that his body sustain as little abuse as possible before the funeral. They were planning to comply with Ellen's wishes unless David contradicted her.

The car was pulled out of the woods, but left on the side of the driveway at Ellen's request. She stated that she would have the insurance company come to the house before disposing of it. I thought she probably just wanted to make sure that it was fully destroyed. It wasn't wise to leave it in the city impound for any length of time. It would be better to have a private company crush it as soon as possible.

After the car was settled, many of the police officers went back to work. Ellen, David, the remaining detective, Richard's lawyer, and I went into the house. I was shocked to find Ellen's kitchen a mess. When we had left, the room was spotless. Now, her stovetop was covered with splattered spaghetti sauce. A portion of noodles lay limp and soggy in pot of cold water. Burned garlic bread lay forgotten on the counter, wrapped in foil.

The table was set for two. Two plates, two sets of silverware, two empty glasses, and two chairs. There were four in the bed and the little one said... The perverse nursery rhyme filled my mind. She was smart. So very smart. I had always thought that David had inherited his incredible intelligence from his father. Not so. His mother was as sharp as a tack. Three chairs would have looked odd. Two looked intimate. Find the missing object in this picture.

"I'm so sorry for the mess," Ellen said to the detective while wiping her tear-filled eyes. "I was in the middle of dinner. We were eating late because he was coming home late..." She trailed off into a Kleenex.

"Of course, Mrs. Paulson," the detective replied.

I moved across the room to help Ellen clean up. We worked together keeping our hands busy with dishes. David went to Richard's study and returned with a stack of official papers. The lawyer, detective, and David all sat at the more formal dining room table to review the will. They were within hearing range so Ellen and I worked quietly and listened.

David had power of attorney in the case of accidental death. The detective noted that this was unusual as his spouse was still living, but David simply stated that Richard would not have wanted to trouble Ellen with the burden of making arrangements. The lawyer agreed.

He was to be buried. The funeral home had been pre-selected as had most of the funeral details. The man was nothing if not detail oriented.

I looked at Ellen in the bright light of the kitchen and finally saw what a mess she really was. The side of her face was still swollen, but she had expertly covered it with makeup. Years of practice had again been to her advantage. I shook my head at the thought. Her eyes were puffy and red and her eye makeup had run down her face. She looked like a woman who had experienced tragedy. She was the perfect victim.

When the dishes were done, she set the teakettle to boil, and we sat down at the kitchen table together. My eyes continually drifted to the spot on the floor that just hours before had been soaked with Richard's blood. There was no trace of it now, except in my mind.

The detective remarked several times about what an unusual will Richard had, but the lawyer, luckily, waved away his accusations saying that Richard had always done things in his own way. I got the impression that this lawyer was like-minded with Richard. It made perfect sense to him that a woman would not be granted any decision-making power. The detective had also known Richard, but didn't seem to be privy to the kinds of personal information that the lawyer had.

Richard had left nearly everything to David. His son inherited it all. There was a provision that David was expected to provide for his mother, but essentially Richard had left his wife of almost thirty years with nothing. If Ellen was surprised by this, it didn't show.

The men talked in the dinning room for a while longer and then the detective and lawyer finally excused themselves, once again relaying their condolences to Ellen. An eerie silence fell over the house in their wake. I stepped into David's arms looking for comfort and he held me close.

Finally Ellen spoke. "We should all get some sleep, and I would think a couple of hot showers might be in order as well."

I couldn't agree more. We all made our way upstairs, Ellen returning to her room and David and I settling into his childhood bedroom. I showered first, grateful to be able to wash the day down the drain. I made note of the bruises on my hips. I would be careful to avoid low-rise jeans for a few days.

I was sore and tired and now that I was clean I wanted only to sleep, safe in David's arms. David joined me after his own shower a few minutes later. We didn't speak as we curled up together, we simply held each other and waited for the darkness to overtake us.

I heard screaming. I bolted upright, disoriented.

"Kat? Kat. Calm down, love. It was just a dream."

My hysterical wife threw herself into my arms, sobbing. I stroked her hair and took a couple of deep breaths hoping that she would unconsciously match my breathing pattern.

"Shhhh, just a nightmare. You okay?"

She nodded her head against my chest and snaked her legs around mine. I laid back and pulled her closer.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head no, but didn't respond verbally. I rocked her in my arms, and she cried herself back to sleep. I lay awake still hearing her scream in my head. Would she ever heal from this? I knew that nightmares were to be expected after the series of events that we had been though, but I didn't know how long they would last. Had I damaged her permanently by bringing her into my life? I would never forgive myself for allowing this to happen.