Geek Love (44 page)
Authors: Katherine Dunn
Tags: #Families, #Family, #Carnival Owners, #General, #Literary, #Sagas, #Circus Performers, #Freak Shows, #Fiction, #Domestic Fiction, #Monsters
Most important was my discovery of the “Subject”: that all my skills and talents were only tools in the service of the subject, that my success had to be measured in terms of how good a conduit I was for carrying the subject into the mind of the reader, that on their own my golden words didn't amount to a fart in the wind.
I still do occasional radio commercials and go on TV in P. R. junkets for my newspaper. My journalism has branched out to a lot of different topics-it's become my keyhole to the universe, the excuse to go anywhere, ask anything, pester anybody-and I'm still learning.
My son is 19 now, and in college. I just turned 44 with a howl of triumph. I never expected to survive this long. But my family tends to view mortality as a mere statistical probability, not a sure thing. That inherited optimism is insidious. It undermines the sternest logic. So, though I'm a slow learner, maybe I'll have life enough yet to write something that will punch out through time, and sit dustifying on some shelf waiting to talk to far-off generations. At least I'll have a hell of a good time trying.
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