Geek Chic (3 page)
Authors: Margie Palatini
(Told you.)
“Some bippity here.
A little boppity there and …”
“Don’t forget her feet!”
“Even I can’t do anything about her feet.”
“Anywho, let’s get to it!
This girl needs a switcheroo by sixth grade!”
(I feel tingles. Not down to my toes, but close.)
AND THEN
Whoa!
“Used as an adjective AND a noun!
With accessories!”
“Who knew she could be so la-di-da?”
“And chic! Definitely chic!”
“Very you-know-what.”
Samuel Morse-ing
…— — — …
(Just in case my FG is more 19th century.)
How to describe the Lunchroom at
Harry S. Truman School …?
First, it is also the All-Purpose Room.
What that means is, when you’re there and
not
eating, it still smells like what you
were
eating. Or worse, it smells like what you were doing.
It’s the Gym too.
(I know. Who came up with that idea?)
Imagine how it smells in a place when you’re stuck smelling the memory of everything and everybody that’s ever been in that place.
It can all be
very
challenging nose- and stomach-wise.
Merriam-Webster
(pocket or regular edition) doesn’t have enough adjectives to describe the aromas. I’ve checked. Pictures would definitely not be allowed either.
Especially of Alex Shemtob.
WAIT.
(Too harsh.)
Alex is … okay. Sort of. Maybe.
I guess I do kind of like him. A little.
WAIT!
Backspace myself.
ONLY in the
M-W
dictionary definition.
(Not, you know, in the other way. Please, I’m still officially only ten.)
However … Alex
does
know his history. He knows
almost
— and again I say
almost
—as much about the presidents as I do.
Did I say “almost”? Because I want to make it known that I might be a presidential historian someday like that lady from Massachusetts who writes all the books my dad has on his bookshelves, and right now there’s no contest that I know more about George to George and beyond than Alex Shemtob.
(
Just want to clear that up
.)
So, as history goes, Alex is in column A. He’s quite the excellent one at solving word problems too. He’s like the best mathlete at Harry S. next to Venus, who really knows her Sudoku.
And
one more thing: He has primo pencils. He uses HBs, which are the best for filling in circles on multiple-choice tests.
But, good pencils aside, Alex needs a little SOS
(Samuel Morse and the scouring pads)
in … eating.
Venus describes it as “inhaling.”
The thing is, Alex mostly exhales what he inhales.
Not pretty—or safe—especially if you’re sitting across from him and not wearing an art smock.
But that’s not the worst part that happens on this particular day 186 days before sixth grade.
Oh, not so hardly …
