Gavin: Pure Passion (Hamptons Book 1) (8 page)

He sighs and goes back to his place on the sofa. He doesn’t bother to answer. Maybe it’s clear to him that I won’t let him convince me to change my mind.

In the meantime, I’m not so sure it was a good idea to spend the weekend with him, but on the other hand, I find him so appealing that I just want to rip all my clothes off.

We barely spoke while I watched the videos. Gavin read and I did my research, and now we’re sitting across from each other at the table, eating. There’s a candelabra between us that blocks my view of him. It doesn’t really bother me very much, because this way I don’t feel like I have to rip off my clothes at any second. But it also gives me the chance to think about my screwed-up life. I think about Brooke again. I poke around in my salad, lost in thought, and it’s starting to look like something a cow chewed up and spat out again.

“Is everything OK?” Gavin asks me.

I look up at him. “Yeah, thanks.”

“It doesn’t look that way, Lane.”

I take a deep breath to give myself courage before I’m able to speak again. “I was thinking about a friend of mine who died recently.”

He draws in a breath sharply. “I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. “You couldn’t have known.”

“Sure, but if I had, I wouldn’t have been so tactless about your mood. I’m really sorry about that, I hope I didn’t step on your toes.”

“You didn’t. Everything’s all right. Actually, it’s probably good that you pulled me out of my ruminating.”

“Why is it good?”

“Because otherwise, my mood plummets into the cellar pretty quickly without something to stop it,” I answer with a bitter smile, although he probably can’t see it because of the damn candelabra.

Gavin stands up and comes to my side of the table. He doesn’t say anything, he just holds both of his hands out to me and smiles.

I put my hands in his, and he pulls me up out of my chair and into a hug. Then he takes one of my hands and puts it on his shoulder. “Let’s dance a little, Lane.”

I really don’t feel like it, but I nod. Maybe it will improve my mood. He goes to switch on quiet music, and then pulls me closely against him so our bodies are touching. I look up into his face, but every time I blink, my eyes overflow with tears. “One Fine Day” was Brooke’s favorite song.

“What’s wrong now?” he asks, looking worried.

I sigh and rest my cheek on his chest.

“Lane?”

“That was her favorite song . . . I’m sorry, right now I’m pretty messed up. Maybe I should go home,” I say, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

“You don’t actually believe I’m going to let you leave now, do you?” he whispers as he strokes my shoulders.

I feel completely ridiculous. First I sleep with him and don’t remember a thing, then I cry in front of him and want to leave, but he won’t let me. What’s happening here?

He picks me up and I throw my arms around his back while he carries me into the bedroom. “Will you tell me what happened?” he asks as he lowers me gently to the bed.

I cry on his shoulder until my grief is spent for the moment, unable to tell him anything. Besides, I don’t know if I want to risk opening up like that, because I’m afraid of what will happen if it all comes flooding out at once. But I know I have to let it out sometime. Otherwise he’ll just think I’m completely nuts, I’m afraid.

It feels to me as though hours have passed when I finally calm down enough to speak. Gavin is still holding me close and stroking my shoulders, and his touch fills my body with warmth. It’s a beautiful feeling that I’ve never had before, even with Jonah. “Everything all right?” he asks softly.

I nod slowly. “Yeah . . . I’m sorry I freaked out.”

He kisses my forehead. “You didn’t freak out. You just cried, that means you’re human.”

“I’m sorry anyway.”

“Don’t worry about it. It just shows that you can let your feelings take over, unlike so many other people, and you’re not made of stone.”

It’s amazing how easily he’s taking it. Other guys get really uncomfortable or just leave if you cry in front of them. “OK,” I agree.

“Do you want to talk about it, or is it still too difficult for you?”

“It’s too difficult,” I reply quietly.

“Shall we just lie here a little longer?”

“If you don’t mind,” I whisper.

“Not at all,” he says softly.

I cuddle close to him. Gavin is a guy I could fall in love with. I barely know him, but I’m starting to fall for him even though I vowed not to let another man get so close to me again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, because normally I never fall for anyone so quickly. I wouldn’t say I’m exactly falling in love, but I’m starting to feel a lot of affection for him. Either I put a stop to it now or I’ll end up unhappy, because I know I’ll never be able to have a man like him to myself.

There’s a knock at the door, and Gavin starts in surprise. “I’ll just go see who that is.”

“Sure.” I let go of him.

He gets up and hurries out of the bedroom. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I hear him ask with annoyance in his voice.

“Don’t ask what’s wrong with me, ask what’s wrong with Azer.”

“OK . . . What’s wrong with Azer?” I have no idea which one of his friends it is. To be honest, all of their voices sound the same to me. They’re deep, male, and every word they say makes you melt. Except Azer’s. It’s not like the others.

“That idiot got smashed out of his mind and went on a rampage, and then ran off. None of us knows where he’s hiding. The bodyguards can’t find him and his phone is switched off. We have no idea what we should do. Linden is totally pissed off at him because he hit on Thally, and she got upset and wanted to go home. The guy is completely out of control.”

“What now, Mike?”

“He listens to you, that’s why I’m supposed to tell you from the others you should help look for him.”

I get up and go to the door, trying not to be noticed. Maybe I should really go home. Either that or offer my help. I know my way around this city very well, but maybe they do, too.

“Maybe he went to the penthouse apartment,” Gavin says. “He still had a key, you know, even though he was supposed to give it back when Joel wanted to sell the place.”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Mike says.

I clear my throat, and they both turn to look at me.

“I didn’t know you had a visitor, otherwise I would have called first,” Mike says, throwing me an apologetic look.

“Can I . . . Can I help you look for Azer?” I ask carefully.

Gavin shakes his head and turns back to his friend. “I’ll check out the penthouse, maybe he’s there. Mike, you should look in Times Square with Alexis or Linden.” Then he turns to me again. “You can stay here and hold down the fort in case he comes back. I’ll tell reception to call the room if he turns up.”

“OK,” I say with a nod. What a drama they’re making of all this! Why is it so bad that Azer took off? He’ll certainly have his reasons.

“Actually, it would be good if your girlfriend kept an eye on the hotel bar.”

“I’m not his girlfriend,” I argue to make the situation clear, because I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about me.

“It’s true, she’s just a friend,” Gavin agrees. “But keeping an eye on the hotel bar isn’t as easy as it sounds. This hotel has several bars, so it’s easier if we just tell reception to look out for him.”

“I could look around for him in the city, I live here and know it pretty well.”

Mike smiles at me. “We know it pretty well, too. We had a penthouse on the Upper West Side up until a couple months ago.”

“Fine,” I say.

“I’ll just get changed, and then we can go, Mike,” Gavin says, walking toward me. “Sorry my friend is making so much trouble. I would prefer to be with you.”

“No problem,” I answer, feeling a little flustered. I step aside so he can go into the bedroom.

I’ve been sitting around for an hour staring at the telephone, which is sitting in front of me on the dining table. I already picked up the receiver a few times to be sure it was working, but it remains silent.

The sound of persistent knocking at the door makes me jump. I get up and hurry over, and open it on the chain. A man who’s maybe in his midthirties looks at me with his eyebrows raised. “Where’s Gavin?”

“Who are you?” I ask mistrustfully.

“My name is Joel Young. I’m the manager of Downstair Alley. And who are you?”

“Madeleine Dubois. I’m a friend of Gavin’s, and I’m supposed to wait here until Azer shows up.”

Mr. Young nods slowly, but he’s still looking at me skeptically. “May I come in, Miss Dubois?”

“Of course.” I slip the chain out of the catch and open the door wide for him, stepping aside so he can enter.

He goes directly to the dining table and sits down in the chair I just abandoned.

I close the door and follow him. “Now that you’re here, I guess I can leave, can’t I?”

I don’t know why, but Gavin’s manager gives me the impression that he’s not at all pleased to see me—somehow I’d prefer to stay out of his way. Besides, he knows Azer, and might be able to calm him down if he turns up, which might be harder for me, as a stranger.

“Don’t you want to wait for Gavin?”

“I can leave him a note.”

“It would be better to stay. He doesn’t like it if someone stands him up. Even after a one-night stand, you should have the decency,” he says, which feels like a slap in the face to me.
Did that guy just assume I had a one-night stand with Gavin?

“I’m Gavin’s friend, and this was not some one-night stand, but thanks for the advice, Mr. Young.”

He rubs his nose. “Sorry, Miss Dubois, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Yeah, you were very careful to be friendly,” I answer, deadpan, and he grins.

“I really didn’t mean to upset you, but usually all the guys except for Linden find girls who are up for a little one-night adventure, that’s why I assumed . . . Well, just forget it. I hope you didn’t take it too badly,” he says regretfully.

Is that true that aside from Linden, they all bring groupies to their rooms? Oh, God, I hope Gavin and I used a condom, otherwise I’ll have to run to the doctor first thing on Monday morning.
“That’s OK. You apologized, so I can deal.”

“Do me a favor and don’t mention this to Gavin. I don’t want to argue with him again.”

I shake my head. “My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks.” He looks around. “Do you want to sit down?”

I sit across from him. I rest my head on my hand and stare at the tabletop as I drum my fingers on it restlessly.

“You don’t feel very comfortable, do you?”

“Can you tell?” I ask shyly.

“Very clearly, but somehow most of the guys’ girlfriends don’t feel very comfortable around me. Probably has something to do with the fact that I always have to play the bad guy to keep the members of the band in line.” He grins. “But Azer is the only one who’ll be getting a piece of my mind today.”

“I only met him once so it’s hard for me to say, but don’t you think there must be a reason that he freaked out and disappeared?”

His gray eyes shine kindly, which is contradicted by his stern voice. “It’s not the first time he’s been out of control.”

“Do you know why?”

“Last year his girlfriend broke up with him because the manager they had before me played some heavy games. They’d been together for years, and he took it pretty hard. Linden and Thalia almost broke up, too, but they managed to pull it back together. But Azer and Emily didn’t. She wouldn’t believe him when he told her what happened,” he tells me. Now my curiosity is piqued. “Since then, he hasn’t been the same. He’s very professional on stage and at press conferences, but behind the scenes he loses it way too often.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I say thoughtfully. Now I know I won’t be going home tonight, sounds like this could take a while to sort out.