Gavin (A Redemption Romance #3) (12 page)

“What?” He asked, all innocence, fucking men.

“Did you forget something?” I knew my snotty tone wouldn’t be appreciated, but shit, this was a big damn deal. I’d never, not once had sex without a condom and hadn’t intended to start now with a man who’d had sex with another woman as recently as last week. I had no idea of his history, or if he was usually so irresponsible. I was on the pill, but I didn’t need the clap.

Of course, Gavin was bigger and stronger than I was, so as I tried to pull away from him, he pulled me right back and nuzzled the very sensitive skin of my neck. “Nope, I didn’t forget a thing, except maybe to shove something in your mouth after I came so you didn’t spout off.” I felt the smirk, so I knew he was teasing, but I was in no mood.

“Really, Gavin, fucking really?” I asked, as I shoved him away and tried to sit up.

“What the hell, baby? I was kidding. What’s wrong?” He looked completely confused. Did he frequently have sex without a condom, yuck, that would be nasty. I’d have to bleach my shit out for sure then, I could only imagine the doctor’s report.

“The condom, Jesus, Gavin, the fucking condom. Did you forget the condom?” My tone was so annoyed, so sarcastic, so belligerent I wasn’t surprised when he got angry with me.

“No, I didn’t. You’re on the pill, you don’t seem to be fucking anyone else, so we don’t need one. All I've thought about for probably ten years is feeling you bare, squeezing tight around me.” His brows were raised to his hairline and his eyes were glowing again, but for a much different reason now.

“Yeah, you think that’s something, maybe you could have talked about with me first?”

“Why, there wasn’t any need to, besides, you didn’t seem to mind before.”

“I didn’t know, it isn’t like you said, ‘hey, Dawn, can I be really stupid right now and go bareback?’ No, you didn’t do that!”

“What the fuck? Why is it stupid, I know you’re clean, so what’s the problem?” He was yelling now, so angry with me for the way I was behaving. I knew I was being a bitch, but the thought of him with that other woman, and now with me, after everything he’d said, I’d been so happy, everything had been perfect, and now I could almost see it all crumbling before me.

“Of course I’m clean, I’m not worried about me.” I glared giving him a ‘duh’ look, but not bothering to cover myself.

“Oh, so you’re worried about me? What the fuck, you think I’ve got some STD or something?” His question was more of an accusation, as he sat up and stood from the bed, looking around for his boxer briefs. Tagging them across the room, he grabbed them and pulled them on, still glaring at me.

“Well, I have no idea, do I? I’m not the one with multiple bed partners, am I?” I accused snottily. I was hurting right then and I was letting it go, right there, giving it all to him. I felt like shit though, really, I knew he wouldn’t put me in danger like that, he wasn’t an asshole.

“What?” He growled, stalking back to the bed, his eyes glowing bright now, with rage and something else.

As I sat there, completely naked a vulnerable, he moved his hands quickly, dislodging the briefs he’d just slipped on and dropped them back to the floor. His body moved in one fluid movement, pressing me back until I laid flat on the bed, without even touching me. How he did that I’d never know.

“I told you, you are all I think about, all I dream about, you are the only woman I want, the only woman I have wanted since the minute I saw you at Luke’s weeks ago.”

He seemed to be studying my face for a long time, trying to figure out what I was doing, what I was thinking. I was confused, I’d seen him with that woman more than once, and their relationship was obviously very friendly. Sure, I’d only seen him put his hand on her back, but at minimum, they were close friends, friends no one else seemed to know anything about.

“I told you that the games are over, Dawn, you are not going to throw this fucking wall up in my face and think you’re going to get away from me.” He continued, being sure to stake his claim all over again.

With a hand on each thigh, he pressed my legs wide and sunk right into me. I was soaking wet from our previous fuck-fest, so he was able to slide in with ease, even though he was too big for me. He planted himself there, holding still, firm and determined, he watched my face as I thought over what he’d said and what I’d seen, unfortunately, with him inside me again, I was totally confused.

“Wait, so, you’re not going to see anyone else after this?” I asked, seeking the clarification I needed.

An annoyed look crossed his face, then he closed his eyes and shook his head a little. “No, I’m not going to see anyone, only you, and you are sure as fuck not going to see anyone else either.” His voice had softened, he’d lost the anger that had been present just seconds before, but after leaning in and kissing me gently, he stayed rooted, and pulled up to ask, “what’s this about, baby? You have to know that I’m clean, I’d never do that to you.”

The softness in his voice killed me, it made me feel like shit, and made me question what I’d seen. He’d been walking with a woman. She was beautiful, absolutely, amazing, he’d had his hand on her back and I’d seen them smile at each other, but that was it, right? There was something there though, nothing that I could see, but a closeness I’d sensed between them. He’d looked at her with affection, I needed to ask him, to just come out and mention it, but before I got the nerve up to do it, he leaned down, kissed my lips with so much tenderness my body melted into the mattress and he made sweet, passionate, amazing love to me. Any thought of beautifully fit brunettes, was gone, Gavin was all I could see, feel or even think about now.

Lying in the arms of the man I’d loved since I was a girl, reveling in the post-coital bliss, enjoying the high of two more fabulous orgasms, my entire body stilled when his phone rang – with
that
ring.

“God damn it,” he shouted, jack knifing off the bed and rushing to the front room to find his phone.

As was usual, I heard the beep when he answered the automated call, but he didn’t respond, he stood there listening to the details of whatever they were being called back in for.

Standing from the bed, I grabbed my robe off the hook in my closet and went into the kitchen. I didn’t have much, but I knew if he was being called in for something, it would be a long night and he probably wouldn’t get an opportunity to even get a drink, let alone anything to eat.

The phone slammed down on the entry way table, and I peeked my head up to look at him, sharing his frustration at our interrupted night. So much had happened, so much had changed between us, and the funny thing was, I hadn’t gotten to see
him
yet. Both times we’d made love, I hadn’t gotten a look and I was dying to see those piercings. As we’d been lying in the bed, him playing with my hair, my eyes closed, head resting on his chest, I’d been imagining getting to do all kinds of wicked things to him. Oh well, this was going to be my life, so I’d better get used to it now.

Gavin had thrown his jeans on and run out to his truck, barefoot and shirtless. He was damn sexy and I knew that he’d have stopped traffic like that, if it were a busy street.

“Baby?”

“Yeah,” I asked, distractedly putting drinks and snacks into a paper grocery bag.

“Does one of your neighbors belong to an MC?”

The question was so odd, I stopped what I was doing and turned my head to look at him, total confusion had to be written all over my face.

“No, why?”

Shaking his head in the negative, he walked into my room, but didn’t say anything else. Shrugging my shoulders, I let it go, assuming he’d seen the guy I’d noticed in recent weeks. There were lots of bikers in and around Dallas, the climate was pretty mild all year, so the guys could ride almost anytime. I heard Harley pipes around here all the time.

“Here, I don’t have a lot, sorry, but maybe it will help hold you over until you can eat.” I said, handing him the bag. We were standing at the front door, me in my robe, him in his SWAT pants, boots and plain tee, holding his uniform shirt in his hand. I knew it wasn’t safe for him to wear that in his truck, he never did, never wore his uniform home.

Taking the bag, he leaned down, wrapped his free hand around the back of my head and kissed me, sweet, tender and quick.

“Lock up tight after I go.”

“All right, text me later, let me know you’re okay.”

“Will do.”

And just like that, he was gone. I watched as he climbed into his truck, stretched his hand out on the seat next to him, turned his head around and reversed out of the driveway. Within seconds, he was willingly driving toward the danger – whatever it was.

Doing as he’d asked, I closed up the house, locked it down and cleaned up the dishes from dinner, changed the very mangled sheets and got ready for bed. By the time my eyes closed, while reading my favorite romance, I hadn’t heard a word from him. I was worried, but I’d forced it away, knowing that I couldn’t live my life in fear like that.

The following weekend, I was off work, so Gavin and I had planned to go away together. Peter, his step-father had a small beach house on the Gulf, about four-hours away and Gavin could use it whenever he wanted.

Gavin promised me that there were three bedrooms, and I’d have my pick, which had settled me right down, when he’d first suggested the trip. Now, I was sure that we’d only be using the one. I was excited to have the quiet time together, with no interruptions. It would also be nice to have the down time.

I was busy trying to get shit done around my house, with plans to go away and my mom selling the home she’d lived in for over twenty years, a lot of things were coming to my house. I already had a stack of boxes in my living room, with no idea where to put them. There were more to come too, she’d already warned me that she’d kept some other things from when I was little, but they were all in the attic. There wasn’t much space in my tiny house, and I hated the clutter, but Tyler had promised to come over the following week after Gavin and I got back from the Gulf, and help me go through everything. I figured it was just his way of being a nosey friend, wanting all the dirt from my weekend adventure.

Since Gavin and I had been spending more time together, I hadn’t been able to be quite as available for Tyler. He was cool with it, since he and Marc were still new, he got it, but his friendship was one thing I’d never give up.

Wednesday afternoon, I had some time during my lunch, and decided to take Gavin a little treat from the Café that Gillian owned. I’d finally talked to him earlier in the morning, after they finished up with the call-out. He still had a full day of work to get through before he could crash. He’d been swamped and was starving too, that’s where I came in. I didn’t know if I was his girlfriend, but after everything he’d said the night before, we were definitely moving in that direction. Regardless, as a good friend, or whatever, I hoped to be his girlfriend someday and I’d be the kind to bring her man a treat when he’d had a rough night. Besides, I was still delightfully sore from his attentions, and wanted to bring him even a fraction of the happiness he’d brought to me.

Knowing that he was crazy today I wrote his name on the bag and planned to leave it for him at the front desk at the station. I’d been there with him before and knew there was always someone up front. I didn’t want to bother him, but wanted him to feel special, loved maybe, it was a small thing I could do to maybe brighten his day.

Parking just outside the front doors, I grabbed the bag of his favorite cookies and the Americana coffee, he preferred and walked toward the glass front doors. Feeling a little nervous, presumptuous even, I looked around as I opened them and walked inside.

At the counter, was an older, plump woman with a bright smile on her face. There was a buzz of activity in the large room, but as I scanned the space, my eyes caught on Gavin’s smiling face.

He was standing next to
the
woman. The one I’d seen him with at the deli several weeks before. His arm was around her back, and he kissed the top of her head. She was smiling up at him, too. They were walking toward the back where the office he shared with Trent and the other homicide detectives was. What the fuck? Holy shit.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Was I the biggest idiot on the planet, or what? There was no way He was a mother fucking liar. The dick had fooled me and good. He was a player. Fucking. Shit. Now, I needed to get tested for sure, fucking disgusting dirt bag.

My entire body filled with rage, shame, unimaginable grief and heart rending loss. Stunned, I stood there in total shock, frozen, not knowing what to do as my mind raced. He’d looked so happy; did he ever look like that when he was with me? Obviously, he had serious feelings for her, it absolutely broke my heart. A cold sweat broke over me, I felt my heart beat speed up, it was so fast, I wondered if my pulse was visible.

Right then, I knew, I absolutely knew that I couldn’t do this, not with him, not Gavin. I couldn’t be one of however many that he dated and fucked and fucking lied to. Part of me wanted to storm back there and ask that woman if he fed her the same bullshit he’d fed me.

“Excuse me,” a man said, as I was jostled from behind. His hands shot to my shoulders, to steady me, and as I turned to look at him, I saw the concern in his handsome dark brown eyes. He was tall, his mocha skin was perfect, his hair cut short, and a gleam in his eyes. If it had been another time, I’d have taken the time to notice all that.