Gathering of Pearls (11 page)

"No, Sarah is lying," Jimmy said. "Mommy said to leave it with the librarian, but we knew we could find you."

The letter read: "Dear Sookan, We hope that you had a good Christmas vacation, and that you got some much-needed rest. The children miss you. I know you are busy these days, but how about lunch this Saturday? Let me know. Love, Jane."

"Can you, can you?" asked Sarah.

"No, I'm sorry. I already promised I would work at the office all day Saturday." I saw Jimmy peering through the kitchen door, watching Peggy walk in and out of the big freezers. "I can give you a tour of the big kitchen here if you want to see it." I was sure Peggy wouldn't mind if I took a few minutes to show them around since I had arrived early that day.

"Oh, boy, can we walk inside the giant refrigerator?" Jimmy asked.

I held their hands and asked Peggy if I could give them a quick tour. We all promised to be very careful, and she gave us a nod.

As we walked through the kitchen, the chefs, in their tall white hats and long aprons, waved to us and smiled as they diced, chopped, and sautied. The giant pots were boiling away, and the huge frying pans were sizzling. We opened the door to the freezer room, and Sarah's teeth started chattering.

"We could turn Sarah into a Popsicle," Jimmy exclaimed.

Then we entered the walk-in refrigerator. "Wow, look at all those little balls of butter, and those little cups of grape and strawberry jam. It looks pretty. Who did that?" asked Sarah.

"Me," I said. "I did those yesterday." Sarah looked very proud to know her friend had done such a thing.

I realized that I missed Jimmy and Sarah. I hadn't been able to baby-sit for them the last couple of weeks, but in a way, I was glad because 1 was uncomfortable getting paid for having such a good time with them.

"You know what? Next time, I can take you on a tour of the administration building, and I can show you the big rumbling mimeograph machine in the basement."

"Daddy works here, but he never shows us anything. We'll come back tomorrow," Jimmy said as they ran back to report everything to their mother.

Right before dinner, Ellen rushed in and pulled me aside. "Sookan, I just got back from seeing Kyle," she whispered. "Take a look at my hand, but don't utter a word. You're the first one to see it. I'm going to go tell Peggy now, so that she'll announce it. Oh, I am so excited! I always wanted to be the first one in our class to be engaged!"

I just stood and gazed at the large diamond that sparkled on her left hand. I was speechless. Though she always talked about marrying Kyle, it was different to actually see the ring. "What do your parents think?" I asked, unable to come up with anything else.

"My parents are so upset. I called and told them, and they said I should give the ring back. They said I would be ruining my life by jumping into this so soon. But I know Kyle is the one for me. I love him, and I want to marryhim."

I stared at Ellen as I tried to absorb what she was saying. In Korea, by the time a girl wears an engagement ring, several official family meetings have taken place. "Ellen, should you really go ahead and announce this when your parents are so upset with you?"

"It's what I want. I don't know why they can't understand that. They liked Kyle when they met him over Thanksgiving. I am so mad at both of them that I told Kyle I feel like eloping right away. Sookan, don't look so glum, and let's not talk about my parents anymore. Be happy for me. When I get married, I want you to be my maid of honor."

I managed a small smile and said, "Ellen, I
am
happy for you, but I can't help worrying about your parents. There is no need to hurt them. And I know you won't be happy if they're not happy, too."

Her smile dissolved and she suddenly looked as if she would burst into tears.

"Ellen, I'm sure it will all work out all right," I said, sorry that I, too, was ruining her big moment. I grabbed her hand. "Your ring is beautiful—and so big, too! Everyone is going to be impressed."

At that, she started to brighten. "It is gorgeous, isn't it? It's the very kind I wanted. I had dropped some hints." She gave me a small kiss on the cheek, and ran to catch Peggy, who had just walked past us. As captain of the waitresses, Peggy had the honor of announcing recent engagements at the end of dinner.

As I watched Ellen so happily share her news with Peggy, someone tapped me on the shoulder.

"What's wrong, Sookan? Why are you looking so lost?" It was Marci, all dressed up in a tan silk dress, matching pumps, and white gloves. She had on a touch of makeup and her hair was slightly curled under.

"Marci, you're here! And all dressed up, too. What a day for surprises! First Ellen and now you."

"What about Ellen?" Marci asked.

"Oh, nothing. This is the first time you've come here for dinner, isn't it? You look beautiful."

"I do not! I feel silly. What a lot of fuss just to come and eat! I'd just as soon sit and read, but I wanted to see your candles. They
are
pretty. Did you light them all yourself?" Marci looked around awkwardly. "Where should I sit?"

"I know. Sit over there with Ellen and her gang. It will be fun at that table. And dinner is really good tonight: roast beef, and chocolate cake and cling peaches for dessert." I escorted her to her table as I carried a pitcher of ice water there.

After dessert was served, Peggy tapped on her water glass with a spoon. This meant only one thing. Everyone grew quiet. "Which senior is it?" people whispered. "Oh, this is always so exciting!"

I watched Ellen smile and look up at Peggy with anticipation just as everyone else did. I knew Ellen had dreamed of this for a long time. This was her moment. I saw how she had folded her right hand over her left, and sat very still.

"I have a very special announcement this evening,"
Peggy said. "A member of the freshman class has just gotten engaged."

"A freshman? Who could it be?" I heard the crowd buzz.

Peggy shouted over the swell of voices, "Ellen Lloyd is engaged to Kyle Spencer, a junior at Princeton. Marriage plans will be announced at a later date. All the best to you, Ellen."

Many girls ran over to Ellen's table, wanting to see her ring and hear all about Kyle, and the proposal. Ellen looked like Miss Universe, with everyone hovering about her in admiration.

She is so happy,
I thought as I watched Ellen. The happiness she couldn't share with her family, she could share with friends. I wondered why families couldn't be more like friends and be supportive without always judging. I supposed it was impossible. With family, there was too much love, too many worries, and too many expectations. I thought of my sister and of all the plans she had for my life. Would I someday hurt my sister as Ellen was hurting her parents? Then I thought of Bokhi and Hyunchun. If they lived here, it might be possible for them to be together. I was caught between two very different cultures.
Would I be able to balance the two and create my own special world?
I wondered.

When I went back to my room that night, Ellen was sitting on her bed with a box of tissues. Her eyes were red and puffy and her hair was falling in her face.

"Ellen, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Sister Reed called to congratulate my parents. They immediately called me and were furious that I had announced my engagement to the school. They told me that I was to call it off and come home right away. But I'll show them. They can't hang on to me like that. Kyle and I need each other, and we'll be together no matter what they say. We're going to elope." She blew her nose and hurled the box of tissues onto the floor.

I tried to reason with her. "Maybe your parents are just worried about you. I don't think they're really angry. What does Kyle think about all this?"

"He's insulted and upset," Ellen said.

"When your parents see how happy the two of you are, they'll come around. It must have been a big shock for them. Maybe they just need to get used to the idea. Why don't you and Kyle go home and talk to them?"

"I am not going to subject Kyle to them. They have been horribly mean," sobbed Ellen.

"They love you, Ellen. You can't just run away and get married all by yourselves. Your parents want to be there, and I want to be there. I thought you said I could be the maid of honor at your wedding!"

"You don't understand. I'm their baby, and they'll never get used to the idea. Besides, once they get my report card, they'll be even more furious with me. I spent so much time on extracurriculars and visiting Kyle at Princeton that I failed French last semester. I don't want to study anyway. All I can think about is Kyle, and the life ahead of us. I just want to elope and get our lives started now!"

"Maybe you should talk about it with Sister Reed. She's quite wise, you know."

Ellen glared at me and shouted, "Sookan, she's the one who made it even worse than it was to begin with! She and my parents are probably plotting against me as we speak. I know she's on their side."

"Ellen, you know how charming Kyle is. Have him talk to your parents and win them over," I pleaded. "When they see how much he loves you, I just know they'll change their minds."

"Oh, Sookan, you don't know anything. You think we always have to do what older people tell us to do. You don't understand. I have my life to live. You're on their side anyway. Just leave me alone and stay out of it!" Ellen's voice had risen to a scream.

No one had ever screamed at me like that before. I was shocked and hurt. But, I suddenly heard myself screaming back at Ellen. "Why don't you grow up? A big engagement ring and a boyfriend don't make you an adult. Maybe you should try to understand your parents, and understand why they might be worried. Kyle isn't the only one who loves you; they love you, too. Did it ever occur to you that other people might have things to say that make sense? You're acting like a spoiled and ungrateful idiot!" I threw my books on the floor and ran out of the room.

Up in my private study, the bathtub, I sat down and drew the white plastic curtain closed. I was upset and ashamed. I had lost my temper and I had hurt Ellen. I didn't go back downstairs until I was sure Ellen would be asleep, and the next morning I tiptoed out of the room before she woke up.

Winter was slipping away, and brave yellow forsythia buds were heralding the arrival of spring, my favorite season. It always thrilled me to see tiny buds emerge from the brown weathered branches. Ellen, as head of the dance committee, was frantically planning the Spring Fling, just two weeks away. Boys from Princeton, West Point, and Georgetown were chartering buses to come up for the evening, and it was Ellen's job to make sure that everything went right. Kyle was planning to bring his roommate, Tom Winston, and Ellen kept begging me to come to the dance so that we could double-date.

I was relieved to see Ellen so happy again. She had taken my advice, and she and Kyle had gone to talk to her parents together. After a long conversation, they agreed to have an extended engagement so that Ellen could finish school. Ellen promised to spend more time studying. She no longer spoke of eloping, and in fact, she and her mother were already beginning to make plans for the huge wedding they would throw in three years. Ellen and I were both ashamed of how we had screamed at each other, but I knew Ellen was grateful to me, and I was happy that 1 had helped her.

Each time Ellen mentioned the Spring Fling, I just smiled and said nothing. I had already decided that 1 would go, but I wanted to surprise her. I would wear my cream silk dress and the pearl jewelry that Sister Reed had given me. On my way to the dance, I would stop by Sister Reed's office and surprise her, too. 1 had it all planned. I just needed to buy a pair of beige high heels to wear with the dress.

Ever since January, I had been working every Saturday at the administration building. To save money, I had purchased second-hand textbooks from upperclassmen at a fraction of the original price, and I was careful not to use too many notebooks. The books I could not buy from upperclassmen I read at the library. And not having time to write home saved on postage money.

I finally thought I had saved up enough money to go downtown and buy not only my shoes, but the leather purse for Mother, some books for my brothers, and a few things my sister had asked for. I would make up for what I had not been able to send at Christmastime.

As I headed toward the store to buy Mother's purse, I passed a little boutique with a most exquisite, black short-sleeved dress in the window. Made of velvet, it was fitted, with a square neckline, black satin trim on the hem and sleeves, and a braided satin belt with a tiny bow in the front. A small, black velvet purse hung on the shoulder of the mannequin. The dress was small, and looked as if it might fit me. Before I had even thought about it, I found myself inside the store.

A tall, silver-haired woman approached me and said, "Would you like to try that on, dearie?"

"Oh, no, but it
is
beautiful! I just want to look at it for a while. That's the kind of dress my mother would make for me," I rattled on. "It's so simple and elegant."

The woman looked me over, then said, "You're so tiny. What size are you—two or four? This is a four, but cut very small. It would probably fit you well."

I had no idea what size I wore; I had never bought a dress in America. I just smiled, not knowing what to say.

"Here, try it on. Let's just see if it's your size. Most of my customers are too big for this little dress." She took it off the mannequin and gently pushed me toward the dressing room.

It fit perfectly and felt so soft against my skin. The pearl necklace and wishbone pin would really stand out against the black velvet. Now the cream dress that I had been planning to wear seemed drab.

"Heavens," the saleswoman exclaimed as I exited the dressing room to model for her. "It looks as if it were made for you!" Her gray eyes twinkled as she examined the fit. I wished I could buy it, but there was no way I could afford it.

I was about to take it off when the woman brought me the little purse and a pair of black patent leather high heels. "Here, just see how the whole outfit looks."