Gargoylz Get Up to Mischief (4 page)

Toby looked furious. “Mr Gnome!” he spluttered, jumping to his feet. “I’m an ancient stone gargoyle who’s lived proudly on the church for more than eight hundred
yearz
and your nan thinks I’m a garden ornament!”

“Ugly garden ornament!” chuckled Zack, rolling on his back and kicking his legs in the air.

“Coo-ee!” Nan was suddenly back, waving something small and red.

POP!
Zack disappeared. Toby froze again.

“All garden gnomes should have one of these,” she said.

Max and Ben tried desperately not to laugh as Nan carefully fitted a pointy, red woolly hat over Toby’s monkey ears.

“How sweet!” She beamed, tickling him under the chin. “Who’s a smart Mr Gnome then?”

Max suddenly realized he could see a tail appearing on the grass in front of him . . . then a paw . . . then an ear . . . Zack was forgetting to stay invisible. Max stepped smartly in front of him but it was too late.

“What’s that behind you, dear?” asked Nan, peering round him. Zack was completely visible now. “Oh, you didn’t tell me there was a little girly one as well!” she exclaimed. “Did you make her, Ben? She’s so sweet!” Nan patted Zack’s fuzzy stone mane. “You’ve even tried to give her
some
hair.” She reached into her apron pocket and pulled out a lacy handkerchief. “I haven’t got another hat,” she explained, “but this will do nicely.” She fixed the hankie round Zack’s head like a scarf and tied it under his chin. “Mr and Mrs Gnome. What a lovely couple!” “Thanks, Nan,” gulped Max. He had to get away before he burst out laughing. “We have to be off now. Back to Ben’s house. To give the rabbit its lunch.”

“Yes, you get along and give that Stony Church thingamabob a real treat,” agreed Nan, helping the boys to put the brambles into the bag. While her back was turned Max beckoned to the gargoylz. They hopped into the rucksacks.

“I’ll see you soon,” Nan called, waving the boys off from the garden gate.

Max and Ben reached the church wall and opened their bags. The gargoylz tumbled out and Max handed Toby the bag of brambles.

“Let’s go home, Mr Gnome!” Zack laughed.

“All right, Mrs Gnome,” answered Toby. “Little girly one!”

“Hmph!” snorted Zack. “Make a pact. No more gnome talk.”

“Agreed,” said Toby as they scampered off and the boys headed home. “But it was funny when she called you a girl. I haven’t laughed so much since I put nettlz in the vicar’s breakfast.”

2. Kitten Caper

SECRET AGENT MAX
Black strolled along the road on his way to school. He heard the sound of wheels racing over the pavement and turned on his spy radar: blond hair, blue eyes, battered knee pads. It was Agent Ben Neal, riding a gleaming new skateboard.

“Awesome!” Max exclaimed as Ben stopped and flipped the shiny red board into his hand. “That’s the Speed King!”

“It’s new,” said Ben proudly. “I’ve brought it to show everyone this afternoon when all the Year Four classes get together
to
do Hobbies Talk.”

They ran through the school gates.

“Greetingz!”

The monkey face of a cheeky gargoyle was hanging down from the school roof.

Max beamed. “Hello there, Toby.” Then he spotted something on the roof behind him. Something small and fluffy. “There’s a kitten stuck up there!” he gasped, pointing.

“Poor thing,” said Ben. “Can you rescue it, Toby?”

To their surprise Toby burst out laughing. “Spluttering gutterz!” he guffawed. “That’s not a kitten. That’s my gargoyle friend Theophilus. His special power is meant to be turning into a ferocious tiger but it never works. Theo, say hello to Max and Ben.”

As they watched, the tabby ball of fluff gave a determined
miaow
. After a lot of wriggling it slowly changed shape until a gargoyle sat in its place. The new gargoyle had a long, tigerish tail and his golden stone was slightly stripy. His face was a bit like a cat’s,
with
bristling whiskers and small, friendly-looking fangs. He stared at Max and Ben.

“Humanz!” he gasped with an anxious swish of his tail. “Help! They mustn’t see us.”

“It’s OK, Theo.” Toby laughed. “These two are my friends. They’ll keep our secret.”

“That’s all right then.” Theo beamed at Max and Ben. “Sorry if I frightened you when I was a ferocious tiger.”

“You weren’t exactly ferocious . . .” began Max.

“Wasn’t I?” said Theo.

“And you weren’t exactly a tiger,” Ben told him.

“Wasn’t I?” sighed Theo.

“More of a kitten really,” explained Max with an apologetic grin.

“Oh dear,” said Theo dejectedly. “I was so sure I’d become a tiger this time. The thing is, I’m only four hundred and twelve
years
old. I haven’t had long to practise.”

“You were a very good kitten,” Max reassured him.

“Keep practising and you’ll be the most ferocious tiger in the world,” said Toby. “It’ll only take another hundred years or so.” He caught sight of the Speed King. “What’s that?”