Authors: India Edghill
Haman lunged at the baitâHaman loved to boastâand once he began to speak, I quickly feared he never would stop.
“This evil race deals in treachery and witchcraft, but I have arranged to destroy them before they wreak disaster upon the King of Kings and all he possesses. I have worked long and hard, and now they will be destroyed utterly. A decree has been written, and sealed into the Law of the Medes and Persians with the king's own seal. The law says that all of them shall be slain.”
“All?”
All the Jews in the empire? All, because he hates Esther? He is truly evil, or madâor both.
“Yes. All.” Haman savored the words.
“I could warn the queen of this,” I said, and Haman smiled.
“You could.” His tone clearly said he knew I would do no such thing.
“Queen Esther is my friend.” I lowered my gaze, as if I could not meet his eyes.
Haman laughed, the sound mocking, viciousâand I looked up and saw a smug certainty on his face. A certainty that Queen Esther was only a woman.
Now I strove to be Haman's image of me: a deposed queen longing to regain her royal title, a scorned princess striving to hide her angry envy of the current queen. A foolish, jealous womanâ
“Queen Esther thinks she is my friend,” I amended.
“That I believe,” Haman said. “So long as she believes it untilâ”
“Until when?” I marveled at how calm I sounded. I did not permit myself to think of how or why Ahasuerus could possibly have set his seal to such a decree.
“The day is set and sealed. The thirteenth of Adar.”
“Why then?”
Haman smiled. “Because that is the day the
pur
decreed.” He opened his hand; within it lay a
pur
carved from bone. He held the gambling piece out to me.
I pretended to hesitate. “When she learns of this decree, the queen will plead with Ahasuerus, and he willâ”
“He will do nothing.” Pleasure thickened Haman's voice. “He will do nothing because he will not call for Esther to come to him. I have seen to that.”
“How? Ahasuerus returns from Babylon tomorrow. We all know he is besotted with her, and cannot bear to be without her for long.”
“But he must endure without her until the next new moon. Before the king left Shushan, we played at lotsâI used this very
pur,
for luckâand the king lost. The stakes were a month without the woman dearest to our hearts. The king's month begins on his return. Esther will await his summons in vain.” Haman gloated over his own cunning.
One of the oldest decrees in the law tablets forbid anyone to come before the king except at the king's command. Guards flanked the king's golden throne, their sword blades honed to razor keenness. Even the queen could not approach the king's throne unless summoned. Even the queen would be cut down by the guards.â¦
“Princess?” Haman's sharp voice jolted me back, reminded me of the role I played.
I frowned, as if trying to think. “But my lord prince, surely the king will learn of this decree? Surely someone will show him the Adar Law?”
“What if they do? I shall tell the king the law is a forgery, that no one will believe its order, still less carry out murder on its command. I shall tell him the proclamation has been removed wherever it was posted.” Haman smiled, showing too many teeth. “But who can know how many copies of the law were given out?”
I frowned, as if thinking hard. “But supposeâsuppose
I
told him?”
Haman shook his head. “Ahasuerus cannot make you queen again. Only I can do that. And,” he added, “even if you
are
foolish enough to warn Ahasuerus, I am not fool enough to let him believe you.”
I opened my eyes very wide. “Oh, no, I am not so foolish as that!”
The
pur
still gleamed bone-white upon his hand. “Pretend to take this for the Chief Eunuch. Remember how a king's page would act.”
Haman's assumption I could not retain my role without his prompting goaded me, but I proved him wrong to my own satisfaction by remaining smooth-faced, and bowing just as a king's page would do. “As my lord prince Haman says.”
I held out my hand. The bone lot slid from Haman's hand into mine.
“To remind the true queen of what awaits her,” Haman said. “A crown againâafter Adar.”
ESTHER
When I was told that Mordecai knelt at the foot of the Great Staircase in sackcloth and ash, that he wept and moaned and tore his poor garments, I am ashamed to say that my first thought was
Oh, what does he want of me
now
?
And to prove no ill thought goes unrebuked by the Lord of All, no sooner had I thought those churlish words than Vashti came hastening into my room unannounced.
“Oh, Esther, I have spoken to Haman. And I've never heard anything so wicked in my life. There could be nothing more evil under the sun and the moon.” She gasped her words, her breath catching as if she had run long and hard. Her hair had been pinned up in an untidy mass; as she spoke, it slid free, tumbling down her back. A voluminous robe swathed her, and as she reached out to me, the robe fell open. Beneath it Vashti wore the garb of a king's page.
This is going to be very bad.
I knew in my bones that whatever Vashti had to tell me about Haman, it had something to do with Mordecai's sackcloth and mourning. Nevertheless, I remained calmâat least outwardly.
“Vashti, come and sit, and breathe slowly. I can hardly understand a word you say.” I put my hands on her shoulders and guided her to a pile of cushions, gently pushed her onto them. She sat and stared up at me, her moon-shadow eyes a swirl of pale colors. I saw a fearful excitement there, and a deep horror.
“Hush,” I said, as she opened her mouth to speak again. “Wait.”
With Vashti resting silent, I turned to my servants. “Leave us, every one of you save Hatach and Kylah.” Looking back down at Vashti, I asked, “Where is Hegai?”
“Heâhe has gone to ask who knew ofâoh, Esther, there is a decree, a decree sealed with the king's seal, that the Jews are to be killed. All of them,
all.
On the thirteenth day of Adarâand Haman told me he will kill you himself and raise me up again as queen and expects me to be grateful to him!
Grateful!
Andâ”
“Stop,” I said. “Vashti, this is madness.”
“Yes, because Haman is mad. Mad and evil andâ”
“Have you seen this decree? Did Haman show it to you?”
Vashti shook her head. “Hegai will bring a copy. I told him you must see it for yourself.”
“And Haman said this evil decree is sealed into law? With the king's seal?” I shook my head. “No. Never. Ahasuerus would notâ” I stopped. No, Ahasuerus, kind and just, would never seal into law the slaughter of an entire people. So if Haman's decree had indeed been sealed with the king's seal â¦
Then there is another seal.
It was the only answer. And who would possess such a seal, and wield it, save the Queen Mother? Queen Mother Amestris, who had ruled in her son's name since he was seven years old; who lived for power. I closed my eyes; swayed, dizzy.
Ahasuerus's motherâwill he believe such evil of his own mother?
I opened my eyes; the world remained.
I am not dead yet.
And now I knew why Mordecai had clothed himself in rags and ash. He mourned his death, and mine, and that of all our people.
“No,” I said. “
No.
Ahasuerus will not permit this. When he learnsâ”
“Haman will ensure that he doesn't. And it's sealed with the king's seal, Esther!”
I saw that Vashti was too distressed to think at all. “Go to your own rooms,” I told her, “and wait. I must send a message to my cousin Mordecai. When he has answered me, I will come to you. I want to speak to Hegai as well.”
“Haman will not touch you. I will hide you in my rooms. We will take Star and Sunrise and ride away to the mountains.” Vashti's fierce desire to protect me made her voice unsteady. “I will kill Haman myself! Estherâ”
“Vashti, stop.” I put my arms around her and held her close, her cheek pressed to mine; her body trembled and her skin was cold. “Be calm, or you will make yourself ill. Send your girls to find Hegai, and go to your own apartments and
wait.
Be patient. No one will kill me today. The thirteenth of Adar is still a month away.”
VASHTI
I sent Tandis and Ajashea to bring Hegai to me, and together we waited. With Hegai's aid, I summoned patience, a hard thing for me. I did not pace, nor constantly ask Hegai when he thought Esther would bring news. Instead, I sat beside Hegai and held his hand.
To pass the time, I talked to Hegai. I knew he would listen quietly to my words, however far my thoughts might wander. I spoke of journeys we might undertake; of far horizons we might seek. Hegai agreed it would be a wonder to travel and to see with our own eyes the glories the empire possessed.
Mountain valleys rich with flowers. Burning deserts with heat rippling over endless sand. Ruined cities as old as time. Shining waters of the Western Sea.â¦
“I want to see everything, Hegai. I want to ride the Royal Road from Shushan to Sardis. I want to see the land silk comes from. I wantâ”
“You want to
live,
my princess. Palaces and precious gems are not enough to make you happy.”
“And what do you want, Hegai? What would make you happy?” Never before had I thought to ask him such a thing.
At first I thought he would not answer, for he neither moved nor spoke. Then he leaned to me and kissed my forehead; his lips warm against my skin. “It would make me happy to see you happy.”
Once I would have thought he jested, and cajoled and teased him until he gave me a true answer. Today I looked into his eyes, and saw that he, too, feared the future Haman planned. So, weary from the day's events, I leaned my head upon his shoulder; I trusted Hegai as I did not even trust myself. For a moment I closed my eyes; savored the comfort of Hegai's arm around me, strong and sure as a wall at my back.
At last I heard sounds at my door. I darted toward the archway, only to be pulled back by Hegai's hand on my arm.
“Patience, Vashti. The Queen of Queens approaches. Remember that.”
“No, today Esther approaches.” But I let Hegai put his hand on my shoulder, and I waited for Esther to come in to me. When I saw her, I was glad I had not run to her, for Esther stood very straight, and her face might have been an ivory mask.
I waited, but she said nothing, so I spoke first. “Esther? What happened? Tell me!”
“My cousin Mordecai sent me a message.” Esther's lips closed again; set in a firm line, as if they never again would open.
“Yes, yes, you heard from your cousin. What did he say?” I knew Mordecai, wise and good and just, would have found a way out of this trap.
For too long a pause, Esther said nothing. Then, “That I need not think I shall escape, merely because I am queen. That I must go to the king and beg for the lives of my people. And he also said, âWho knows but that you were set upon the throne for such a time as this?'”
“Was that all?”
“Yes. That was all.” Esther managed to smile at me. “Well, I'll have a fine tale to spin for Ahasuerusâstrange pillow-talk for a reunion of man and wife, but I think my husband will find it of some interest.”
She expected Ahasuerus to call for her as soon as he returned. But I knew what Esther did not: that the king would not send for her again until it was too late. “Esther,” I said, “there is something else I must tell you. Haman hasâhasâ” Tears burned my eyes; I found I could not find breath to finish.
Esther sat down beside me and took my hands. “Softly, Vashti.” She bowed her head, staring down at our clasped hands. “I think I can guess what Haman has done. He has ensured that the king will not send for me. Am I right?”
I nodded. “He must spend a month without the woman dearest to his heart. Haman said a wager at diceâ”
“The cause does not matter. All that matters is that Ahasuerus thinks he cannot, in honor, call for me, or come to me.” Esther sighed. “Well, then, I must go to himâno matter what he wagered with that venomous Haman.”
“But you cannot go to the king unsummoned, Esther!”
“Do you think I do not know that? How oddâyou lost your crown for not coming when called by the king, and I shall lose mine for going to him when not called.”
I looked at Esther standing there, and realized that she had grown into a woman, and a queen. Suddenly I realized that IâI, foolish, brainless VashtiâI had taught herâbut it was Esther who had learned. Now she was the one who must think, and choose. I bowed, low, and spoke softly.
“O queen, live forever.” And then I went and curled up like a cat upon the cushions, waiting. She would know I was hers to command, but that I would not interfere. This was her test, not mine.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Hours flowed past, slow as poured honey. Whenever a servant crept in, I shook my head, sending them away again. Sunlight faded; shadows led into darkness. The last hint of day vanished. I could only see Esther because starlight called answering fire from the jewels in her hair.
“Vashti?” She sounded as if she woke from deep sleep.
“Yes, Esther. I am here.”
“Still? You are a good friend.” A pause. “It's dark.” She sounded baffled.
I rose slowly to my feet, stiff from my vigil. “Esther, it's night.”
“It is?”
“You've been sitting there still as stone since you told me you must think what to do. Esther⦔ I almost hesitated to ask, but I knew I must. “Have youâ”
“Thought what I must do?” A sigh; she sounded as weary as if she'd labored hard through the slow hours. “Yes, Vashti, I have.”