Gabrielle Demonico (34 page)

The burly man examined her credentials an
d then grumbled, “Down the hall make a left and then it’s your first door on the right.”

“
Thanks.” She said.

Following the security guard
’s directions, Anabelle wound her way down the hall towards their dressing room. She arrived at the door but just prior to knocking, she thought she heard noises coming from inside. She leaned in, pressed her ear against the door and within seconds, heard the sounds of multiple women.

Sounds
, not voices. From what she could tell, there was very little talking going on and what little she could decipher was of the grunting and groaning variety.

Anabelle felt sick to her stomach.

She couldn’t believe it. There was no denying what the sounds meant.

She felt frozen in place, alternating between states of rage, disappointment an
d shame. She was right about them all along. How could she have been so stupid? She couldn’t remember ever having felt so foolish in her entire life. She wished she could just disappear and never have to see them again. The last thing she wanted to do now was that
fucking interview
and for the first time since she started down this path, she could have cared less what the consequences might have been.

The frenzy inside continued to escalate until at last Anabelle could stand no more. She bit her lip, closed
her eyes and prepared to go - she had to get out of there – now. But, just as she started to lean away from the door, a voice from behind asked, “What are we listening to?”

And then a second voice said, “
Yeah, what are we missing?”

Anabelle immediately re
cognized the voices. She was horrified. Her skin felt like it would melt from her bones out of embarrassment. She swallowed hard and did her best not to make the situation any more awkward. She slowly turned and said, “I… I uhhmm… was just looking for you two. The security guard told me that this was your dressing room and…”

“…
And so
you
naturally assumed that Armin and I were in there with a bunch of women?” Tanner interjected as he raised an eyebrow of suspicion.

“
No, no… It’s not like that at all.” Anabelle pleaded.

Armin laughed and said, “
It’s okay, Anabelle. We’re just messing with you. Our drummer, Keith, is in there with a couple of his Portland regulars. We grabbed another dressing room down the hall. Come on…”

“
Uhhm, okay.” She said in a barely audible reply.

She trailed behind the brothers on the way to their dressing room and felt as if she were walking in mud. She wondered how long they had been standing there watching her make a fool of herself. Part of her wanted to be angry about it, to
tell them that they shouldn’t have done that to her but she knew that she couldn’t.

After all, she
’d hardly acted any better herself.

Besides, there was nothing going on between any of them anyway. She couldn
’t make sense of her emotions towards them. They’d never done anything except act like perfect gentleman in her presence and as far she could tell all she’d ever done is come off as crazy in front of them!

If it was possible to have a walk of shame without actually having sex, then this would have been
it. Moments earlier she had never wanted to be more
wrong
about something in her life. And now that she had been, she’d almost wished she could have been
right
if for no other reason than to save herself from this moment.

All of a sudden, her wish was granted in a different way as an unexpected rush of fans materialized backstage. Security guards swarmed from every angle but the three of them were simply outnumbered.

Tanner turned back towards Anabelle and shouted, “Take my hand! Stay close behind!”

She quickly grasped onto him and did as she was told.

“I’ll stay out here!” Armin exclaimed. “Take her with you!”

Tanner nodded and within a few seconds they
’d fought through the sudden crush into the dressing room they’d swapped out with Keith.

As they scrambled inside, Anabelle said, “
Holy shit! That was insane.”

“
Yeah…” Tanner replied as he tried to catch his breath.

“
Does that happen a lot?” she asked.

“
Yep. I guess that’s something you just kind of the get used to. I hope it didn’t startle you too much.” He replied.

“
No, I’m fine.” She said.

“
Good. We’ll chill here since Armin will be busy out there for a while.”

“
Okay…”

He then said, “
Hey, I’m still pretty thirsty from the set. Do you want something to drink?” Tanner turned his back towards her and walked over to a table filled with every kind of liquor, soda and juice imaginable. He waived his right arm over the spread and said, “We’ve got pretty much anything that you might want here.”

“
No. I’m fine right now.” Anabelle replied.

“
All right then.” He said as he prepared a whiskey and soda for himself.

Anabelle flung her bag over the back of a nearby chair and said, “
Look… Tanner… I need to apologize to you.”

“
Apologize… for what, Anabelle?”

“
Well, it’s just that… Out there and everything… By the dressing room door. What either one of you do is really none of my business. I just wanted to say I was sorry…”

While she was speaking Tanner had taken a seat and propped his feet up on a table in the dressing room. He placed his glass
down, interlaced his fingers behind his head and said, “What’s none of your business, exactly?”

“
Nothing. Nevermind.” She replied quickly.

“
Anabelle, it’s okay, you can tell me.” He said.

Anabelle desperately wanted to tell him. She didn
’t know what was happening to her. All she knew was that when she stood outside of that door thinking those thoughts,
those jealous thoughts
, that she’d wanted nothing more than to break through it and rip those women them from limb.

How the hell was she supposed to tell him
something like that?

She suddenly felt out of control
– very much so. And she also had an overwhelming urge to run, to just get the hell out of there. She needed to clear her head and she needed to do it
now
. In a frazzled tone of voice she said, “Tanner… I… I have to go. I’m sorry, I just have to go.”

“
Go?” He said as he sat up quickly. “Where are you going to go Anabelle?”

She grabbed her bag, slung it over her shoulder and said, “
I don’t know. I’m very sorry…”

She moved towards the exit but just as she
reached it, he was upon her with frightening quickness. The speed at which he moved startled her but the force with which he grabbed her was much more alarming. Before she realized what had happened, she was pinned against the door. She was unable to hardly budge as his thick palms wrapped firmly around her upper arms.

Initially disoriented, she quickly regained her wits and said loudly, “
Let go of me Tanner!”

Tanner replied, “
No! You aren’t going anywhere Anabelle…”

She looked him directly in the eyes and fired back, “
Fuck you! Don’t tell me what to do. Let go of me I said!”

“
No!” He exclaimed. His features turned dark and ominous. She wriggled in his powerful grip and attempted to free herself but it was no use. There was no sense in resisting, it was clear that he wasn’t about to let her go anywhere.

Tanner could feel her struggle ease and as it did, his grip relaxed slightly. Towering over her by at least six inches or so, he began to speak and said, “
Anabelle, do you think you are the only one that knows hurt, pain and disappointment in life?
Trust me
, you don’t!”

Anabelle
’s spine stiffened.
No one
ever talked to her this way and it wasn’t about to start now. She replied, “What the hell do you know about those kinds of things? Look at your life, Tanner! You have
everything
anyone could ever dream of - fame, money, power…”

“
That’s where you’re
wrong
Anabelle. My brother and I would give all of that up right now for the one thing we’ve never had.” He said.

Sarcasticall
y, she replied, “And what would that be?”

“
Don’t
mock me
Anabelle. This is not something to joke about.” He warned.

“
Who said I am joking? What are you talking about?” she said.

His grip began to tighten once more. The force of it snatched away the shallow
pool of breath that remained in her chest. Startled, she looked up towards him. His eyes flickered with streaks of orange and yellow as he glared down upon her.

She started to panic and said, “
Tanner, please…You are hurting me.”

His breath became labored,
his eyes narrowed their focus. All at once things didn’t seem alright and she cried out, “Please! Let me go!”

But instead, he pulled her closer, squeezing her against his torso with a breathtaking force and in the next moment crushing his mouth into hers.
She pushed feebly against his hulking mass, punching and slapping, but almost as quickly she relented and melted into him.

For in spite of her protest, Anabelle
’s suspicions had indeed been validated. He
had
wanted her out in front of the hotel. She hadn’t just dreamed it up or imagined it like she’d so often done in her life. When it came to matters of love and sex, what had happened in Anabelle’s daydreams was always superior to what life saw fit to toss her way.

But not this time…

She could never have thought that something like a kiss could have made her feel more like a woman than she did right then. His strength was unimaginable. His vigor palpable. His intent without question. She could feel the whole of her body sink into his arms, curves and all.

F
or several minutes, their tongues danced and flicked while the din of backstage fandom raged just outside the door. Anabelle reveled in her moment – claimed by a real life rock star. No doubt she’d be the envy of every girl on the other side of that door and for once, it was hers to possess and possess it, she would…

Tanner moaned, broke free from her and said, “
Fuck Anabelle, you are like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. If I’m not careful…”

Breathless, she replied, “…
what?”

“
It’s nothing… I…” he muttered before devouring her once again.

Anabelle had no idea what he meant and for the moment, she didn
’t care. As the seconds ticked by, she felt as if they were melting into each other – utterly lost in mutual passion. Her hands began to roam as if they possessed their own needs, needs that had long been denied. She waited so long for a moment like this and now was the time for her to savor it – there would be no hesitation – and no regret.

Her fingers traced the thick ridges of his rugged abdominals. The s
oft fabric of his clothing did little to conceal the blessings of nature. To touch him was to touch living iron – the living embodiment of nature’s perfect design. Her fingers trebled along the grooves which were a perfect contrast to her softness but not her desire, which had hardened like steel.

But sadly for Anabelle, not even the adoring touch of a specimen like Tanner Vossler was enough to help her overcome all that which had made her who she was. For even as she delighted in unimaginable bliss, Anabel
le’s demons would not set her free. Her self-doubt pawed at her and reminded her of those times in the past when nothing had worked out.

And even though those events had hurt, they had been something that she
’d been able to withstand. But
this
was different,
he
was different,
they
were different and if there was any chance that it might be the same thing all over again, well, it would simply
crush her
.

She couldn
’t risk it.

She just couldn
’t.

And so she did the only thing that she could do to protect herself in the moment…
With all of her might, she pushed against Tanner’s thick chest and broke free long enough to say, “Tanner, please don’t.”

At first he was taken aback. Surprise came to his fa
cial features but then softened into a look of concern. “What is it Anabelle? What’s the matter? Don’t you want this?” he said as he leaned away from her.

“
It’s not that, Tanner. Of course I want it…”

“
But…” he said.

“
But, I want my
self-respect
even more.” She said as she looked away.

He reached down, grabbed her chin and gently turned it upwards towards him. “
I don’t understand, Anabelle. What do you mean… your self-respect?”

She looked up at him and said, “
I don’t want to play games Tanner. Look at me. I’m nothing special, I know it. This is doubly true when compared to all the beautiful women that throw themselves at you night after night. I’m not judging you for it, I’m just looking at the reality of the situation.”

“
Anabelle…
” he said softly.

“
No, Tanner, please… let me finish. In the span of a few days I’ve gone from hating you, to liking you, to
craving
you… It’s totally nuts and it scares the hell out of me – I cannot explain it. I know how the world works and I know that if I was to give in to you… it would just be for tonight. I would never see or hear from you again and that’s not okay with me in my life anymore. I want you more than anything but I’m not willing to trade away my peace of mind for it.”

A solemn look came over Tanner
’s face. He moved in close to Anabelle once again and said, “Anabelle… I don’t know what life has done to you or why you are the way that you are. But I can tell you right now that I think you are absolutely, totally fucking gorgeous.”

“
Tanner, I…” Anabelle said.

“
No… God dammit, Anabelle. I let you finish now you let me…” He replied.

Anabelle nodded and whispered, “
Okay.”

With his large hands, he cradled her face. They were warm and tender, yet masculine in the way that she
’d never experienced. “Anabelle, you are everything that I…
we’ve
ever looked for in a woman.”

“
We’ve?”

“
Yes, Armin and I. We both feel the same way about you. Everything we learned about you from the Professor before we met you led us to think that you might be the one. There’s so much you don’t know right now Anabelle, about us, about
everything
… I can’t explain it all right now but trust me when I say that what I am telling you is the truth.”

She gently turned her head, in an effort to shield her vulnerability from him. “
This is all so confusing. Please Tanner, I cannot bear the pain. Please…”

“
What
pain
Anabelle?”

“
The pain of having you… of losing you. The pain of when it’s over. And it always ends, always…
Always!
”

Tears began to pool in her eyes but before they could escape down her cheek, she broke
free of Tanner’s grasp and bolted for the door. As he tried to run after her, he lost his footing giving her enough time to exit.

“
Anabelle! Don’t… Come back!”

With tears streaming down her face, Anabelle fought her way through the crowd. Armin saw the eve
nts unfolding and shouted, “Anabelle! What’s wrong? Wait! Where are you going?”

Without looking back, she made her way to the exit and out onto the street.

***

Shit! My bag
…

She
’d taken off in such a hurry that she’d left everything behind, even her cell phone. She made a quick turn down the alley next to the club. As she walked, she figured that she’d probably blown everything now…

Tanner would tell Armin everything she
’d said. She could forget about all of it now – the interview, graduation… hell, everything.

Way to go Anabelle. Way to go…

She only did what she thought was best but once again, the decision had come back to bite her. She didn’t know what to do or where to go other than just… away. She just needed to clear her head for a little while. Things would make more sense if she could – they had to, or else.

As she walked further down the alley, a voice called out from behind, “
Anabelle! Anabelle! Come back!”

“
Shit…” she muttered as she pressed her back against the wall. It was Armin’s voice but she couldn’t see him. Maybe that meant he couldn’t see her either.

“
Anabelle!!” he yelled out. Only this time, it sounded as if his voice were moving away from her. She took a chance and crossed over onto a street going away from the nightclub. With her head down, she walked as quickly as she could for several blocks. Anabelle choked back tears as she walked. Nearly on the verge of a slow jog, she wasn’t sure where she was going.

All the while, she could hear him calling
out for her. Sometimes it sounded as if he were close by while still others, he sounded distant. He could have been as close as two blocks – or as far as ten, she really had no idea.

Once she
’d gotten away from the bar district, the streets were mostly empty. She figured it was late, probably close to one or two in the morning. The lack of people was beginning to make her nervous. For a moment, she considered going back to him, if only for safety.

“
Anabelle!” Armin shouted.

Fuck! He sounded close now…

But then she rounded a corner and came upon two guys seated at the base of a flight of stairs leading up to a small apartment building. They appeared to be about her age. She walked towards them and without a second to spare, she said, “Hey guys… I know this is going to sound nuts but there’s a guy after me.”

Both of the men had blonde hair
– one was sandy and fair while the other’s was darker and dirtier.

The lighter haired one said, “
What do you mean someone is after you?”

Just then, Armin
’s voice called out. “Anabelle!” Only this time, he sounded like he was further away than before. Maybe she’d lost him. Maybe not. She wasn’t going to chance it.

With her right arm extended, she pointed her finger in the direction of the sound and said, “
That! Did you hear that? That’s what I’m talking about. Please… I don’t know anyone here, I don’t have any money and they have my phone, my purse, everything. Please… All I need is to get off the street and use a phone… I’ll pay you, Please help me… Please.”

The dark haired one
took a long pull from his cigarette. He then stood, dropped it to the ground in front of him and crushed it out. “Ok…Yeah… Sure… We’ll help you lady.” He said.

“
Thank you, thank you! Really, you don’t know how much I appreciate this.” She said.

“
Don’t mention it… Come on.” The dark haired one said. “Our room is up on the third flight.”

The three of them made their way into the building and started up the stairwell. But almost as soon as she entered the building, Anabelle was overcome with a sense of dread.
The lighting was a bit dim. Perhaps that was it. She shrugged it off.

As she walked up the stairs between the two men, she asked with a hint of trepidation in her voice, “
So, you two live here?”

The fair haired man in front of her replied, “
Yeah, uhhhmm, third floor.”

Try as she might, her mind continued to sound the alarm. But against her better judgment, Anabelle continued up the stairs. A few seconds later, the three of them emerged into a sparsely lit hallway.