Gabe (Steele Brothers #6) (14 page)

Since I worked at a small fire hall, I still went out on almost every call with my team. I doubt I would have accepted the position if it meant sitting behind a desk all day. I craved time in the field, doing what I did best.

“I guess so.”

“And do you think it scares her, knowing if she gets involved with you, she could lose you?”

“She was—is married to a fire fighter. She knows there are inherent risks that go with the job.”

“I guess she’s just a mighty brave lady then. Knowing the risks and still willing to take a chance.”

I smirked, his message coming through loud and clear. “You’re saying Kendra’s a hell of a lot braver than me, huh?”

“What would you say? That’s what really matters.”

I pushed my chair back, knowing that I’d gotten what I came for. I’d pulled into the drive thinking I was looking for retribution. What I realized I needed instead, for the first time in my life, was to bend my father’s ear. To get his advice.

“Thanks,” I said, offering my hand. “For listening.”

“Anytime.” He smiled like I’d just handed him a winning lottery ticket. “Anytime at all, son.”

***

I was knocking on Kendra’s door when Lizzie wandered out on her porch. “You can knock all you want. She won’t answer.”

I turned to face my friend, knowing she was probably going to let me have it for being a dumbass. “I know what you’re going to say,” I said, raising my hands in supplication. “And you’re right, okay? I need to quit waffling and just let Kendra know that I’m all in.”

“I agree,” she said, crossing her own patch of grass to Kendra’s. She ascended the steps, sitting down on the porch swing. “So what took you so long to get your head out of your ass, anyway?”

I laughed, swiping a hand over my face. “Come on, give me a break, Liz. This falling in love thing is some scary shit.”

A hesitant smile tipped her lips before she said, “I guess it is at that.”

Inclining my head towards the door, I asked, “Where is she?”

“She had some training thing out of town. She’ll be gone for four days.”

Why the hell hadn’t she told me she was going out of town?

“It was a last-minute thing,” Lizzie explained, obviously reading my confusion. “She’d been on a waiting list for this seminar and someone pulled out at the last minute.”

“Is Char with her parents or Jason?”

“Her parents, of course,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Tell me something. How’d you ever get to be friends with a guy like that? You two seem so different.”

I leaned against the freshly painted white pillar, crossing my arms. “When you do what we do, putting your lives on the line every day, your differences don’t mean much. You have to trust that your team’s got your back no matter what. At the end of the day, we’ve all got the same goal: to get out alive.”

“I guess I never thought about it like that,” she said, shaking her head.

“But I’m not gonna lie. This thing between me and Kendra might make it tough for me and Jason to work together. It would suck because he’s good at what he does, but I might have to see about getting him transferred.” I couldn’t afford to have someone on my team whose head wasn’t in the game, or who would rather see me dead than have my back in a crisis.

“Sounds like that might be the best thing for everyone,” Lizzie said, tucking her hands under her denim-clad thighs.

“Where are your kids?”

“They had a play date,” she explained, checking her watch. “They should be home soon.”

“How’re things going with you and your boss?” From everything I’d heard about Mike, he was a solid guy, and if anyone deserved a good man in her life, it was Lizzie.

Her smile spread, lighting up her pretty face. “I don’t want to jinx it, but I think it has the potential to get serious.”

“I’m happy for you. You deserve this.”

“So do you, you know.” She looked up at me, her expression pensive. “You and Kendra both do. I’d hate to see you screw it up, or worse yet, hurt her.”

I didn’t blame Lizzie for the not-so-subtle warning. Given my track record, me letting Kendra down must seem like a no-brainer. “I don’t intend to hurt her.” I was surprised I was able to say that now with conviction when just a few short hours ago I’d been doubting everything.

“I’m glad to hear that. But according to Kendra, you were having some second, third, and fourth thoughts about you two.”

“Ah, so she talked to you about us before she left town, huh?”

“She was upset,” Lizzie admitted. “She needed to vent a little.”

“Upset or angry?”

“A bit of both. But can you blame her? She’s known you’re the man she wants for a long time now. When it finally seemed like you two were on the same page, you checked out on her again.”

“I never checked out.”

“Oh really, then how would you describe it?” she asked, pushing the swing with the tips of her painted toes.

“I was taking a step back, trying to make sure this was the right thing for both of us.”

“You know your problem?” she said, pointing at me.

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” I said, tongue-in-cheek.

“You overthink everything. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and trust that everything will work out for the best.”

“Uh yeah,” I said, pushing off the post. “I’m not very good at that. I’m more of a planner.”

“Well you need to get good at it if you want this thing with Kendra to work. She’s already been through one bad marriage. I know she’s not going to be ready to jump into anything serious soon. Even if you were. What she needs is a little fun and spontaneity in her life. A man who can show her a good time.”

I pondered that before I got an idea. “You wouldn’t happen to know where she’s staying, would you?”

“Of course, I do.” She jumped up, pulling her phone from her pocket. “She always fills me in on her plans, just in case I need her while she’s gone.” Her fingers flew over her screen before my phone dinged with an incoming message. “There you go. You’re all set.”

“Not quite,” I said, looking over my shoulder. Poncho was probably waiting for me by the door.

“Don’t worry about him,” Lizzie said, laughing. “We’ll take good care of him.”

“Are you sure?” I hated to take advantage, but I really needed to see Kendra before she had time to realize that I was the stupidest bastard alive.

“Sure I’m sure. The kids would love to have him. So would I. You think taking a few days off work will be a problem?”

“Are you kidding?” I asked, kissing Lizzie’s cheek. “They’re always begging me to take some vacation time, so I don’t have to roll it over to next year.”

“In that case, what are you still doing here? Get your ass home and pack, boy.”

After saluting her, I ran down the stairs thinking I was going to call the florist as soon as I hopped in the truck and have the biggest bouquet of flowers they had in the store delivered to Lizzie.

Kendra

It was late and I was tired by the time I rolled into the hotel, but the promise of a soft bed kept me putting one foot in front of the other.

“Hi.”

I whirled around at the sound of Gabe’s sexy voice, certain my mind was playing tricks on me, hearing what it wanted to hear. “Oh my God, what are you doing here?”

He laughed, shaking his head at my reaction. “Is that any way to greet the guy who flew all this way to be with you?”

That explained how he beat me here. I drove the nine hours while he flew. “I still don’t understand—”

“Why don’t we check in and I’ll explain everything,” he said, gesturing to the front desk. “I was worried they were going to charge me with loitering, I’ve been waiting here so damn long.” He reached for my suitcase while brushing his lips across mine. “I didn’t want to leave, even to grab a coffee, in case I missed you.”

My head was still spinning, trying to make sense of this. “Did Lizzie tell you where to find me?”

“Yeah.” He walked toward the desk, giving the clerk my name while sliding his credit card across the desk.

“You don’t have to do that,” I said, grabbing his arm. “I’ve got this. It’s a business expense.”

When the clerk stepped away to process his credit card, he leaned in whispering in my ear, “You may be here on business, but I plan to make sure there’s a whole lot of pleasure mixed in there too.”

My body trembled at his sensual promise, but I couldn’t deny I was still annoyed and confused. Last time we talked, I thought he was going to give up on us. So what made him decide to show up here and surprise me, like nothing ever happened?

I stood in stunned silence while he checked us in, accepting two keys cards from the flirtatious young desk clerk before rolling my bag and his to the elevator, with me trailing behind.

He chuckled when we finally stepped on to the elevator. Releasing the suitcases, he backed me against the mirrored wall, his hands closing around my face. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I gripped his powerful biceps, reminding myself I’d fallen under his spell before and had the tear-stained pillow to prove it. I’d woken up this morning with swollen eyes, to a daughter asking me why I looked so sad. So if Gabe thought I was going to just fall back into bed with him, he was crazy.

“Can you blame me? You just show up here… after our talk last night. Why?”

The elevator dinged and he retrieved our bags, giving me little choice but to follow.

When we were safely inside the room, he sat on the end of the queen bed, looking down at his laced hands. “I’m here because I realize I made a mistake last night.”

I stared at him, waiting for him to continue. My traitorous body was already doing backflips at the thought of another chance with him, but my heart was much more cautious, reminding me we didn’t need him to be happy. Except I feared maybe
we
did.

He looked up at me, his striking blue eyes pleading for understanding, and reducing my resolve to jelly. “I know I suck at relationships, Kendra. And you need a man who can get it right. Someone you and Char can depend on.”

The fact that he included my daughter weakened another chink in my emotional armour. “I don’t need the perfect partner.” I pulled out the desk chair, positioning it in front of him so we were eye-to-eye. “Though you seem to think I do. I’m not asking for a man who never makes mistakes. Lord knows I make my fair share.” And then some.

He reached for my hand, brushing his thumb over my knuckles as his eyes tracked the slow, hypnotic movement. “But Jason made one mistake and it cost him his marriage.”

I withdrew my hand with a soft gasp. “Jason cheated on me!” I slid my chair back, the scrape against the tile floor grating on my nerves. “If that’s the kind of mistake you fear making, maybe we’d better end this now.”

I couldn’t imagine Gabe cheating on me, or any woman for that matter, but if that’s what concerned him, maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did.

He covered his face with his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. “That’s not what I meant. I just…” He seemed to be searching for the right words before giving up and falling back on the bed. “I went to see my father today.”

I was surprised by the abrupt shift in conversation, but maybe we both needed a break from talking about us. I know I did. I’d been thinking about Gabe and little else during the long drive and I had a dull ache in my head to prove it.

“How did that go?”

He kicked his shoes off before edging up on the bed, tucking a pillow under his head as he laid on his side, staring at me. “Surprisingly well.”

I was glad Gabe seemed closer to making peace with his father. It seemed to have made the world of difference for his brothers, since all of them were finally in happy, committed relationships after years of pushing women away when they got too close.

“I guess I saw him in a different light today.” He tucked his arms under the pillow, biting his lip. “My whole life I’d been thinking of him as the bastard who hurt my mother.”

“And now?”

“Maybe I’m starting to see him as a guy who made a whole lot of mistakes. And invested a lot of time trying to make up for them.”

“Then you think you can forgive him?”

“I want to try.”

I knew that was no small admission for Gabe. “I know forgiveness doesn’t come easily. Believe me, I’ve spent the last eighteen months trying to forgive my cheating husband.” With a rueful smile, I admitted, “I’m getting there. Now I can watch him cross the street without wishing he’d trip and fall on his face.”

Gabe laughed, breaking the awkwardness that had been simmering between us. “I don’t ever want you to feel that way about me, Kendra. I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I don’t hate Jason.” How could I? He was the father of my daughter and she was the light in my sometimes dark and dreary life. “And I can’t imagine ever hating you.”

“You mean you weren’t cursing me all the way here?”

I kicked my flip flops off with a smile. “I didn’t say that.”

“Come here,” he said, patting the bed beside him. “Get comfy with me.”

It was hard to imagine lying on a bed with Gabe without giving in to my baser urges, but I was determined to stand my ground until I was convinced we were on the same page. Last time, I’d fallen in to bed with him and regretted it. No, that wasn’t true. I’d never regret the night we shared. But his kiss-off last night hurt a hell of a lot more because we had made love and I assumed it meant as much to him as it did to me.

Sensing my hesitancy, he whispered, “Please. I won’t even touch you if you don’t want me to. I just hate feeling like we’re so far apart.”

I hated that too, and because I did, I took him up on his offer, settling in beside him. I was still wearing my dress. But the halter-style sundress was backless, which meant with one tug of a string I’d be lying next to him in black lace panties. And there was only one place that could lead.

He rolled over to turn the overhead light off, turning the lamp next to the bed on instead. It cast a soft, warm glow over the room, making it feel even more intimate.

Rolling back to face me, his voice husky and low, he said, “Tell me what you’re thinking.”