Fuzzy Logic (8 page)

It seemed that Rosa’s dinner had enough time to settle and would not be making a return visit all over the back seat of the car. As Jan slowly drove down the bumpy driveway toward Kat’s house, Rosa was just quietly sitting and staring out the window, not racing back and forth anxiously like she had last time. Good girl!

Jan pulled into a spot under a tree. Kat, Maria, and several dogs were starting down the front steps of the house, looking like they were on a mission. What were they doing?

Jan got out of the car, clipped the leash on Rosa, and grabbed the bag with the food and the little hostess gift she’d brought. The dog hurled her body out of the car, obviously excited to be back with her canine buddies. Jan waved at the two women. “Hi, I made it!”

Kat smiled and waved back. “We’re heading over to the Tessa Hut. Maybe you can help solve the mystery.”

Jan and Rosa followed the parade to the outbuilding and crowded inside with the others. Jan decided she probably had overdressed for the Wine and Whine, not realizing that it would include standing around in a dusty kennel. On the other hand, Maria was wearing a tight black dress that wrapped around her shapely form like a wet suit. It was remarkable that she could move her legs at all. Jan’s flowery print skirt and jacket were dowdy by comparison.

Kat opened the gate and said, “Okay folks. I need suggestions. How does a dog get out of a locked kennel? Dogs don’t have opposable thumbs. Joel is annoyed with me because I said he didn’t fix the kennel. According to him, there’s nothing to fix. But according to Rosa, it’s not escape-proof.”

Jan looked down at Rosa. “So? How did you do it?” Rosa ignored the question and wagged enthusiastically.

Maria ran a hand across the kennel fencing. “That’s one tricky dog you have. My sleuthing abilities don’t extend to chain link. I think we need to think like a dog. Kat, get down to Rosa’s level.”

“What?” Kat said, “Why me?”

“You don’t really think I’m gonna get down on that floor in this dress do you? A) I might not be able to get back up without ripping something and B) Ick. I know there’s dog snot down there.”

“Fine. You are such a girl about stuff like this.” Kat said as she got down on all fours and was immediately crowded by the dogs, who thought what she was doing was unique, amazing, and extremely worthy of investigation. She pushed Lori’s nose away from her face. “Lori, eww, stop that.”

Maria nodded. “I’m girlie and proud of it. If you insist on wearing those ugly blue jeans all the time, you’re gonna get nominated for tasks like this. So what do you see?”

Kat turned her head to look around her. “Well, mostly dogs.” She shoved Linus, the huge hairy dog, over toward the doorway. “Listen Big Guy, you are just going to have to move. You don’t fit in here.” Looking dejected, Linus lumbered out through the gate, turned, and glared at her.

Outside the kennel, Jan crouched down to dog level. “I don’t think she could dig out. There’s no evidence of claw marks, either.”

“Nope. We checked.” Kat said. “And we’ve checked the wood on the building too. It’s fine. No holes.”

Maria looked down at Rosa. “Not to be rude, but that’s one full-figured dog. I don’t think she is much of an athlete, is she? I’m thinking jumping and climbing isn’t an option for her. She’s not like one of those agility dogs that can scale walls and jump through tires and stuff.”

“Definitely not,” Jan said. “At home and at the library, mostly she naps.”

Maria said to Kat, “Okay, crawl around and then jump up on the gate like a fat dog.”

Kat glared at Maria as she reached up to close the gate. “You’re enjoying this a little too much.” But she complied, crawling and shoving furry canine bodies out of her way. Then she got on her knees and leaned up with her hands on the gate. “Happy now?”

Maria stared at the gate. “I got nothing here.”

Lori, the black-and-white border collie, was still inside the kennel with Kat. The dog was having a good time, since all this human crawling activity was a lot of fun. Lori jumped on the gate and stood on her hind legs next to Kat, giving her cheek a slurp, just to be social. Kat wiped her face with the back of her hand. “Thanks, Lori. You’re being really helpful here.”

“I think I know what Rosa did,” Jan said. “See where Lori is located in relation to the gate? She could poke her nose in that gap and push up the latch. Rosa has a kind of pointy nose too, particularly for a Lab.”

Maria said, “Yeah, that’s what gives her that kinda pinhead look.”

“Well, I guess she’s not the prettiest Lab,” Jan said. “But she could get her nose in there, push up the latch, open the gate, and get out.”

Kat sat back on her haunches and put her hands on her knees. “And then she did the same thing again to close the gate behind her? What dog does that?”

Jan said, “Well maybe if she did it quickly the door would swing closed and the latch would fall back down?”

Maria flipped the latch up and down. “Good enough for me. It’s better than any other theory we have. Who knew that a dog could be so sneaky? I think we need to celebrate with some wine.”

Kat stood up and looked at the latch. “It’s got a hole. I could put a leash clip in the hole, and then she couldn’t push it up. Problem solved! Jan, you’re a genius. I agree; let’s go have wine. It’s getting cold out here.”

Jan followed the women and dogs up the stairs into the house. She entered the house and noticed the aroma of aged wood as she crossed from the entryway into the kitchen. It made sense that a log house would smell a little like a tree. Although the house was old, it was obvious that Kat and Joel (probably mostly Joel) had been working on the place. Various areas of wood trim had the shiny white, clean look of new, unfinished lumber, which contrasted with the old, seasoned look of the logs.

Maria made a beeline for the box of wine on the counter and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. “I’m pouring. Who’s in?”

Jan reached into her bag and said, “You can save this for later, but I brought a bottle as a thank-you for inviting me.”

“Hey, that looks way better than the box,” Maria said. “It has a pretty horse on the label and even a cork. Stylish. Let’s go with that. Thanks!”

Kat opened the pantry and stared into it. She looked over her shoulder at Jan. “Please sit down. Relax while I figure out what we’re going to eat. I’ve got the drink and be merry part, but the eat part of the equation is still in question.”

Maria said, “You could make pasta.”

Kat sighed. “I really need to learn how to cook. It’s time to break out of my pasta habit. But most of the time Joel cooks, so that has made it easy to avoid the issue.”

Jan walked over to the pantry and looked over Kat’s shoulder at the contents within. “That’s quite an eclectic combination of foodstuffs.”

Maria looked up from pouring the wine. “Foodstuffs?”

Kat said, “I told you that shopping with Maria is an adventure. Joel always manages to use up the more unusual things eventually, but it takes a while.”

Jan turned to the refrigerator. “Do you mind if I take a look?”

“Go for it,” Kat said.

Jan surveyed the contents of the fridge. “Well, you have milk and flour and vegetables. You could make fettuccine Alfredo or a cream soup. All you need to do is cook the veggies and create a roux for a béchamel sauce.”

Kat frowned. “I think you’ve overestimated my cooking abilities.”

“I’m
sure
you have,” Maria said.

“Don’t you have any cookbooks?” Jan said. “If you want some, we have many selections at the library. They are in the 641 section. In fact, 641.51 is cooking for beginners. You should start there.”

Maria leaned back on the counter and raised her glass toward Jan. “That’s impressive. I guess you can take the librarian out of the library, but it looks like you can’t take the library out of the librarian. Your brain must be full.”

Jan laughed. “I don’t think anyone has ever put it that way. But if you’d shelved as many cookbooks as I have, you’d know where they go, too.”

Maria handed Jan a glass of wine. “I hope this wine goes with whatever sauce you were talking about. But if it doesn’t, that’s fine too.”

Jan handed the wine over to Kat. “I don’t drink. But technically, since it’s a red, no, it’s not supposed to be consumed with a béchamel sauce. But you’re not having it with dinner, either. It’s an aperitif.”

Kat took a sip from her glass of wine. “Works for me.”

Jan spent an enjoyable few hours showing Kat how to cook dinner and watching the two women enthusiastically eat and drink wine. It had been years since she had just hung out with friends cooking and talking. After she graduated, Jan and her friends had drifted apart as they started new lives at libraries in various locations around the country.

After feeding themselves and the dogs, the women gathered in the living room on the old sofas, which were covered with sheets and old blankets to repel the copious quantities of dog hair. Lori leaped up next to Kat and curled up in a corner for a post-dinner nap. The big dog Linus was snoring loudly on the floor, looking a lot like a bear rug.

Maria leaned back and slumped down in the sofa. “That was some fantastic food. Larry would swoon. It’s better than that Italian place he used to take me to.”

“Who is Larry?” Jan asked.

“Larry was my man, but we broke up. It was fun for a while because he liked to take me out, and I like to go out. But he’s such a lawyer. I couldn’t deal with all the motions and appeals. Plus, I think he’s got the hots for the hostess lady at that Italian restaurant. But she’s never gonna give him the time of day. He’s just lucky someone as fabulous as I am was willing to date him. He’s got no prayer with her.”

Kat giggled. “Motions and appeals? Gross. That’s just way too much information.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, girlfriend,” Maria said. “I meant he talks about all that legal stuff all the time. It’s a good sleep aid, but sometimes I want to be awake, you know what I mean?”

Jan snickered. “Oh wait, you mean Lawrence Lowell, the lawyer? You went out with
him
?”

Maria turned to face Jan. “Yes, I did. And it was good for a while. But that’s done now. You’re the one with the man problems, right? Isn’t that why you went on that trip?”

“No, that was my mother’s wedding,” Jan said. “And there was an obnoxious man there, too. It was horrible. I think I’m having a string of bad luck.”

Kat peered over her wine glass. “So was he cute?”

“Why does everyone ask me that? Yes, okay. He was extremely good-looking. Tall with dark wavy hair and brown eyes. But he’s not my type.”

Maria said, “Do you seriously think a lawyer is my type? That doesn’t matter. I don’t believe in the whole concept of types. It’s outdated. This is the mid-90s, ladies. We need to be free to date out of type if we want to.”

“But I don’t
want
to date him,” Jan said. “He was unpleasant and his dog was even worse. Steve is my fiancé. We’ve been together for a long time and I thought we were happy. But now I’m not sure he’s happy.”

Kat said, “So did you talk to him?”

Maria waved her glass, sloshing a few drops of wine on the sofa cover. “Forget talking. Did you dump him? Because he sounded like he needed some serious dumping. If you go waltzing around town with a bimbo, you need to get dumped.”

“Yes, I did talk to him. I kept putting it off,” Jan said. “But I finally did make myself call him. It was all okay. I think it’s just a misunderstanding. He’s taking me out to dinner this weekend.”

Maria tipped the top of her wine glass toward Jan. “Did he cop to screwing around on you or not? Because I’m sorry; I’ve seen that place and nobody is going to the H12 for the ambiance.”

“No. I suppose he didn’t really admit to anything per se. He said we could talk about things.”

“Per se? What does that mean? I don’t like where this is going,” Maria said. “When men get weasel-like and wishy-washy, you just can’t trust anything they say.”

“I didn’t know the trip was for your mother’s wedding,” Kat said. “I guess you didn’t have a good time? What happened?”

Jan closed her eyes and leaned back on the couch. It was nice that Kat had obviously made an effort to change the subject, but this subject wasn’t much better. “What
didn’t
happen? Anything having to do with my mother is always strange.” She exhaled loudly and then explained who her mother was and whom she was marrying.

After Jan had described the Toilet King’s commercials, Kat started giggling quietly. By the time Jan had finished relating the entire tale of the torn dress, lost dog, the merengue, puppet shows, Bob the drunk guy, and Swoosie’s digestive indiscretions, they were all laughing uncontrollably. In retrospect, the whole situation was funny, even to Jan.

Maria had rolled off her chair and was lying on the floor next to Linus. “Oh man, my stomach hurts. That’s the best wedding story ever. I want to be invited to your mom’s next one.”

Jan snickered and said, “Don’t worry; I’m sure there will be another one. I just can’t believe Michael got me to do the merengue in front of people. I never do that kind of thing. In fact, I hate even the idea of performing anything. I practically flunked English in tenth grade because I refused to do the oral report. At the wedding, when the music started I thought I was going to throw up. But after it was over I felt exhilarated in a way. Maybe because it was so scary. And I really did it.”