Full Circle (19 page)

“I’m not jealous.”

“You’re practically green.”

“Fine, whatever. I’m jealous. So what?” She
leaned forward and lowered her voice. “But you told me she was
average-looking.” She pointed out the door. “That is
not
average, Lisa. That is
stunning
.”

“Okay, so I misspoke. But in my defense, she
looked average when she came in for her interview. How was I
supposed to know she’d turn into . . .
that
?”
She flapped her arm toward the empty doorway.

“And you didn’t think you should clue me
in?”

“What’s there to clue in? She’s pretty. Who
cares? Mark wants
you
, not his assistant.”

“
I
was his assistant.”

“And now you’re not, and he still wants
you
, not Kit, so calm down.”

Karma sighed and backed into her chair,
feeling a bit silly for her jealous outburst. “Maybe you’re right.
She’s probably really sweet, and here I am freaking out over
nothing, right?

“Right.”

Rolling her eyes, she briefly dropped her
head into her hand then took a deep breath and looked back up.
“Ignore me. I’m just being stupid. Mark and I haven’t spent much
time together since getting back from Saint Lucia, and with my
classes starting and everything else going on, it’s just going to
be that much harder for us to spend time together. I’m just feeling
a little fragile right now.”

She hadn’t felt that way until she saw Kit,
though. But just getting a peek at Mark’s new assistant had
reopened a fresh wave of realization that she and Mark no longer
worked together. She’d come to identify their working relationship
as part of who they were romantically, and coming face-to-face with
Kit for the first time roused new insecurity. Mark
had
moved
on. He
had
found a new assistant. He
had
replaced
her, despite her irrational hope he wouldn’t be able to. She had to
accept that phase of their relationship was officially over. She no
longer played a professional role in his life. Theirs was purely a
personal relationship now, which felt so bizarre given how they’d
started.

And damn, Kit was pretty. With lovely legs
and attractive feet. Funny how she noticed such things now. She was
constantly on the lookout for sexy footwear to satisfy Mark’s foot
fetish and tease him.

“Did you see her shoes?”

Lisa sat back and crossed her arms. “Her
shoes? Really? You’re going to talk about her shoes now?”

“I told you about Mark’s foot fetish. He’s
got to be seriously drooling over her shoes, Lisa.”

“You’re making too much of this.”

Karma sighed and slumped her shoulders. “I
know, but . . . I can’t help it.”

“Try.”

“It’s not that easy.”

Lisa sat forward and folded her hands
together on her desk, gaze compassionate. “I know it’s not. I know
you’ve dealt with some pretty nasty shit in your past, and no
matter how hard you try to forget, it’s always going to be there.
But you’re in a better place now. And Mark isn’t going to cheat on
you. He’s nothing but professional around Kit. Trust me when I tell
you you’re the only one that makes his eyes sparkle when he sees
you.”

“Yeah, but what about her? Does she know
that, or am I going to have to watch her shamelessly ogle him at
the next company picnic? Because, let’s face it, Mark is very
attractive, and women stare at him everywhere we go. I told you
about the boat bitches in Saint Lucia.”

Lisa’s expression morphed into one a mother
might give an objectionable child. “Yes, and then you took great
pleasure in informing me that Mark dismissed the boat bitches
because he knew they made you uncomfortable. So, you see, Mark is
very aware of your feelings and makes every attempt to show you
that you’re the only one allowed to
ogle
him. And would you
much rather Mark be ugly so that no one looked at him at all?”

Karma lowered her gaze. “No.”

Lisa leaned forward. “I mean, come on, Karma.
He’s hot. He’s probably one of the top five percent in good-looking
men in the country. There’s nothing he can do about that except try
to reassure you he only has eyes for you. But if you keep getting
jealous over Kit and boat bitches and every other semi-attractive
woman who comes along, pretty soon he’s going to get tired of
reassuring you.”

Harsh, but Lisa wasn’t one to sugarcoat the
truth, and Karma appreciated her honesty, even if it stung a
little.

Lisa’s gaze grew more patient and
understanding. “Kit is very professional around Mark. He’s her
boss, and she handles herself accordingly. No flirtatious looks or
anything. She knows he’s engaged to you, and she respects
that.”

“And you know that how?”

“My gut,” Lisa said immediately, eyes sharp.
“So stop trying to find warning signs where there aren’t any.”

Karma bowed her head, feeling scorned. Lisa
was an exceptional judge of character, so if she said Kit was
above-board, she was. “Okay. You’re right. I’m being silly, letting
my insecurity get the better of me. I know he loves me and that I
shouldn’t worry.”

“That’s the spirit.” Lisa plucked the lid off
her crystal candy dish and nudged the bowl toward her. “Now, have
some M&M’s. They’ll make you feel better.”

“Mmm, chocolate. You
do
know how to
make a girl feel better.” She fished out a small handful of colored
candies and tossed them in her mouth.

“Knock-knock.”

Karma turned as Mark breezed into the office,
his black wool coat slung over his forearm. He swept in and kissed
her on the cheek. “How long have you been here?”

Seeing the adoration in his eyes made her
feel even sillier for letting envy and doubt get the better of her.
“About fifteen minutes.”

Lisa stood. “I’m mad at you, Mark.”

Mark fished a sampling of M&M’s from her
dish before Lisa could drop the lid back into place. He grinned as
if they were in on a private joke. “Why? What did I do?”

Lisa pointed at the file folder. “You turned
down another applicant.”

He tossed the candy into his mouth and held
up his arms as if innocent. “Then give me someone I can use.”

“I have. About ten someones. And you keep
rejecting them.”

Grinning, Mark took the lid off the candy
bowl and helped himself to more chocolates.

“Hey,” Lisa warned. “Hands off the bowl, fast
fingers.”

It was a well-known fact that Lisa guarded
her candy dish with an iron fist and only doled out when she saw
fit.

Laughing, Mark tossed the M&M’s into his
mouth and dusted off his hands. “You’re too stingy with the
treats.”

“Whatever. Now, what was wrong with this
guy?” She pressed her index finger to the folder on her desk. “I
screened him, and he seemed perfect.”

“He couldn’t look me in the eye.”

“He looked me in the eye just fine.”

Mark pointed his finger toward the ceiling as
if making a point. “Exactly. He could look
you
in the eye,
but not me. Why is that a problem for a project manager?” Even
though he was giving Lisa a hard time, he kept a smile on his face,
so Karma knew he wasn’t being as harsh as he made himself
sound.

Lisa frowned as if lost.

“Because,” Karma said, drawing two sets of
eyes her direction, “he’s got a confidence problem. He’s fine with
women, but when faced with an intimidating man, or even with men,
in general, he wilts. You need someone who won’t wilt when faced
with an upset or overbearing customer, which includes about ninety
percent of Solar’s customer base.”

Mark smiled proudly at her then arched his
brow at Lisa as he snapped his fingers. “Exactly. That’s why I
rejected him.”

That familiar buzz of accomplishment prickled
Karma’s skin. Every day working with Mark had felt this way. He’d
taught her so much, and she’d been so in tune with him. She’d known
what he needed. What he wanted. What he looked for in people. And
every proud smile had felt like a reward. Now that they no longer
worked together, she had to find another way to reap those rewards
and make such a connection with him.

“I knew that.” Lisa sank back into her chair
and tossed the file aside. “Fine. I’ll keep looking.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, “the perfect
candidate is out there somewhere.”

“Yeah, but he’s taking his sweet time getting
his ass in here to put me out of my misery.”

“Why don’t I have Kit screen the applicants
with you? She’s pretty tuned in to what I’m looking for. An extra
hand could take some of the load off your shoulders.”

Karma briefly met Lisa’s gaze, and despite a
pang of loss, she gave a quick, tight nod to let Lisa know she was
over her green-eyed meltdown.

“Sounds like a great idea,” Lisa said
somewhat cautiously, dropping her gaze briefly then meeting Mark’s
again. “I’ll get with her after you leave and work out the
logistics.”

“Great. Thanks.” Mark pulled his coat from
over his arm and turned toward Karma. “So, are you ready to buy a
house, honey?”

She grabbed her purse and stood, liking the
way he called her honey, as if the term of endearment were a public
stamp to mark her as his. “I thought we were just viewing it.”

“We are, but unless we find something this
time around that is an absolute deal killer—which I doubt we will—I
think we can make an offer. I know you like this one.”

“Do you like it?”

“I like them both. So it’s your decision.” He
took her hand and led her toward the door.

She waved toward Lisa. “I’ll call you
later.”

Once in the car and on the way toward West
Clover, where the financially unencumbered lived, Mark said, “So,
what was that look Lisa gave you back there about?”

“What look?”

“In her office? After I asked her to work
with Kit?”

Of course, Mark hadn’t missed that. He was
Mr. Observant. Mr. I-Never-Miss-Anything.

“It was nothing.”

He glanced at her then returned his gaze to
the road as he took her hand.

“You met her, didn’t you?”

“Yes. She’s . . .” Gorgeous,
breathtaking, every man’s fantasy. “Lovely.”

“Yes, but she’s not you.”

Obviously.

“She seems capable, though, for you to put
your trust in her. That’s a good thing, right?”

“Of course, but I would still rather have you
as my assistant.”

“You would?” She hadn’t meant that to come
out as surprised as it sounded. Or as pleased.

“I miss us working together, Karma. You
always gave me something to look forward to at the office. Work
wasn’t just about work when you were there. It was exciting. You
know, every day since you’ve left, when I go for my coffee, I wish
when I walk out of my office that I would still find you sitting at
your desk.”

Your desk.
He still saw it as hers,
even though she’d been gone for almost two months. It was good to
know he felt that way.

She dipped her head flirtatiously. “You mean,
you don’t make Kit get your coffee for you?”

He grinned and gave her hand a squeeze but
kept his eyes on the road. “That was only for you.”

“Was I special?”

This time he did take a second to look at
her. “You still are.
Very
special.”

They drove in silence for a while, which
allowed Karma’s memory to play over their sexy games and all the
ways he used to tease her at the office. That first day—when he
appeared like a specter only two days after she’d met him in
Chicago, all deliciously hot and stealing every woman’s attention
just standing in the lobby wearing his crisp, tailored suit—she’d
gotten his coffee. After that, doing so became a fun diversion.
Something to put her in front of him . . . to see
him smile as he took that first sip, his grey-green gaze burning
into hers like a challenge.

They didn’t play games like that, anymore,
but then, their relationship was different now. Playtime had taken
on a new dimension. Instead of using their professional
relationship as a means of foreplay and sexual restraint that
turned into an inferno in private, they used heated glances across
the kitchen while making dinner, or suggestive caresses while
watching TV. He asked for sex by standing in the bedroom doorway,
shirtless, arms extended overhead, hands propped against the top of
the frame, jeans slung low on his hips,
The Look
firmly in
place.

In a way, she wanted some of those playful
times back. Not that she didn’t like where they were now, but
Playful Mark had been so very fun. He’d made her laugh and see
things in herself she hadn’t known existed. And, to be honest,
sometimes she got the feeling Mark was still holding something
back. She’d thought they’d gotten everything out in the open in
Saint Lucia, but occasionally, the shadows fell over his face in
such a way to make her think there was more he still hadn’t told
her.

“I was wondering,” she said. “Maybe tonight
we could talk about the wedding. You know, set a date.”

Mark’s jaw flexed, and a distinct chill
rolled off him as his hand tightened around hers. Then he relaxed
as if he’d forced himself. “I thought we’d agreed to wait.”

Okay, so that wasn’t the reaction she’d
expected. Both physically and verbally.

“I know, but Lisa mentioned today that we
might have already waited too long for a June wedding and made me
realize just how much planning a wedding is going to take. I know
we’re both busy as hell right now, but maybe we should at least set
the date so we can get the ball rolling. That way, we’re not
rushing around at the last minute trying to pull everything off in
a month. Good plan, right?”

He let go of her hand and made a left turn.
“We’ve already got so much going on right now. I’d feel better if
we waited until after we close on the house to discuss the
wedding.”

His voice was tight, his words slightly
clipped, almost as if he were angry, even though he clearly wasn’t.
Uptight? Irritated? Karma couldn’t put her finger on the emotion
stirring just beneath his words, but it was clear he still wasn’t
ready to talk specifics about the wedding.