From The Ashes (Life After War) (13 page)

“
Adrian didn't do this. Neither did Neil or myself–Rick did,” Sam stated firmly. “In time, she'll realize that.”

Sam's head turned toward the QZ's small parking area, where the guards were preparing for the mission team's triumphant arrival. Extra tents were going up, the mini Mess was being erected, and the smell of food was wafting over them. Very soon now, she would have to face her own mistakes and sacrifice her desires to repair the damage.

“
You headed for a tent?” Adrian asked, sure John wanted her resting.

Sam's eyes stayed on the parking area, where camp women were gathering–some waiting to help the new people, some waiting to care for the Eagles. “There's something I need to do first.”

Adrian recognized the tone and waved an alert-looking rookie over. “Stay with her. She gets out of your sight, you're out of my army.”

Samantha and the rookie both frowned, but Seth nodded in approval. During the ride, Sam told him how Rick had waited for the rookies to leave her alone during the shift change. He’d grabbed her from the shower during the ten minute lapse. None of the camp's special people would ever be without guards again.

Engines swelled, and the redhead crossed his arms over his chest, face tightening. He hadn't argued with Samantha about it not being anyone's fault but Rick's. She was beaten and medicated, why bother? However, Neil, who Seth could see as the trucks rolled closer, hadn't suffered anything. He didn't even know what had happened, but Seth was about to make sure that the trooper was aware of the debt he owed to the devastated girl in his tent.

6

“
You are approaching an American M-Military Refugee Camp. Identify yourselfs!”

Frowning, Neil keyed the mic, “Amber waves of grain.”

“
Swelcome back!” Mitch slurred cheerfully.

“
Thanks, drunk,” Neil lashed out sarcastically. “That means
so
much coming from you.”

Laughter floated over the camp.

Neil didn't give their radio man time to respond. “Your mission is now complete, gentlemen. Well done.”

Headlights from the rest of the team flashed in his mirror as the radio lit up.

“
The doctor is waiting, the mini-Mess has cold sandwiches, milk, and hot coffee.”

Mitch now sounded tense, like he was hurriedly trying to sober up while looking over his shoulder for Adrian.

Neil nodded in satisfaction as he climbed out, noticing that Jeremy was talking with a QZ guard. His XO was finding out what Neil already knew. Something had happened–something the team intentionally hadn't been told about.

Jeremy slowly turned, mind reeling. He found Neil across the parking area and read no surprise, only the same grim need to know.

The XO joined his team leader. “She's in the medical tent.”

Neil started to duck under the tape and Jeremy caught his arm. “In here, with us. Rick kidnaped her and Becky.”

Neil's heart thudded against his chest. “Is she okay?”

Jeremy didn't have to ask which female he meant. “Lee said she's allowed visitors.

“
Is Rick dead?”

“
Yes.” Seth appeared behind them, face a mask of anger.

“
Becky killed him–after the hit and pit.”

Both Eagles felt the weight of her abuse, but until they knew about Sam, it wasn't going to sink in.

Seth growled in anger. “She got hurt, Neil–they both did. Are you happy now?”

Neil recoiled in surprise. “No! Why would I be?”

“
You flipped when Sam came, changed your mind, Rick was right there watching, taking advantage of it. Some of this is your fault.”

Seth wanted to fight, to find a release for this helplessness in his heart, and pulled himself together as best he could.

“
You owe her, Neil. And if you don't pay that debt, I'll turn the Eagles against you.”

Seth stalked off, going back to lurk in the trees around his (Becky’s) tent.

Neil didn't need to look around to know that everyone who'd heard–agreed. That rock-solid place he had in Adrian's chain of command, tilted harshly under his feet.

7

No more. I mean it!”

Hearing the warning, Adrian’s feet marched quicker through the damp night. Disturbing the peace right now was an extremely dangerous thing for anyone to do. Like his men, he also needed a release for the guilt and horror.

“
What the hell? We always razz him. You do, too!”

“
No more. He’s earned his place.”

“
You don’t get to make that call.”

“
Yes, I do. Until the rest of the Eagles are cleared, I’m top man here under Kenn, and you’ll do as you’re told.”

“
Or what? You’ll set up a guard for the little baby?”

“
I’ll tell the Boss.”

“
Tell me now.”

Zack was elated as Adrian joined them. “If you’d taken the order you were given, you’da been in the clear. Now, you’ll pay.”

The trucker had already confessed his own behavior to Kyle, right after he’d been taken back into the Eagles. “He’s waiting.”

Anderson, Tucker, and Jones didn’t speak, and Adrian didn’t need it. Instead of the scolding they were expecting, Adrian helped Ray to his feet.

“
You gonna live?”

Ray grunted, arm shielding a rib he was sure was broken. “You know it.”

Adrian was gentler than the Eagle was used to. “The fire crew needs a team leader. You’re it. Have Dale help if he wants.”

Ray’s gratitude made his eyes damp, and Adrian felt that ugly side of him lunge to the front. He needed a release and they deserved a lesson. He spun around.

Thud! Thud!

“
Hey! Wait…”

Thud! Thud!

Zack stayed alert, no longer cocky as he worried that the blond would go to work on him next. He hadn’t really paid for what he’d done, only confessed and stopped.

Adrian’s hard knuckles were streaked with crimson as he stepped away from their groaning, aching bodies, breath ragged. He met Zack’s wary gaze over the groaning Eagles.

“
Get them in line! If you can’t, they’re gone!”

“
Yes, Boss.”

Zack was relieved when Adrian stalked by, slinging blood onto the blackening trees. Ants as long as a pigskin hurried to taste it.

Ray moved by Zack without a word but it was a big moment for both of them–the gay and straight man face-to-face, and for one instant, on the same side. It gave Ray hope and sent Zack’s mind into another layer of self-exploration.

This was what Adrian wanted, a part of the dream even before Ray had saved their leader’s life–for all of his people to be accepted. The words spoken right before Anderson and Jones had held Ray so that Tucker could take open rib shots with those big, beefy farmer’s hands, had brought that to Zack’s thick mind clearly.

Ray hadn’t struggled. These three had been waiting for Dale to come out of the shower, and Ray had drawn their attention away with a quick insult. Dale had run for the man on Point–Zack–as the scuffle turned ugly.

“
Go on. Get it over with.”

“
Oh, we will!”

“
Hold still!”

“
Why? Because you’re scared and need the rush to prove that you’re still alive when everyone else isn’t?”

The blows had started there, and it had taken Zack a minute to snap out of the instant daze those words caused, allowing Ray to suffer at least two powerful punches. Every syllable had fit perfectly.

Zack hit his button. “John to the parking area–bring your bag.”

“
Copy.”

Zack left the nearly unconscious trio to be found by the doctor, all he was willing to do for them. They would have seriously hurt Ray this time, and it was enough to drive in how different Zack knew he was becoming. Before his time around Adrian… Angela, Zack would have been the fourth man, trading off punches with Tucker. Now, he was disgusted and determined to protect both Ray and Dale. What the hell had this place done to him?

And why hadn’t he understood how wrong it was before? Because the old world had expected people like him to treat people like Ray badly? Because it had been an outlet for working his life away just to own a piece of property to be buried on? Because the lovers were breaking society’s basic rules and appeared happy?

Childhood abuse had eaten Zack up inside until he was a bitter widower with nothing kind to say to a woman. As Kenn’s right hand man, he’d done things that could get him banished and toss him and his boys back out into the apocalyptic wastelands. It was a risk he’d been willing to take.

Until Dean snuck into Safe Haven and almost killed Angie, Zack had been content with the orders Kenn had given because he felt he was being loyal. Always abusive, Zack’s sense of right and wrong had been scrambled. He had thought it was okay for him to treat his first wife–who died during the War–as badly as he wanted because he was suffering post-traumatic stress disorder. He also thought it was all right for Kenn to hit Angela, because they were together for so long. Now, he might openly shoot a man for hurting a female. After being in Safe Haven and watching how the Eagles didn’t hurt the innocent, Zack was realizing that he’d been wrong about it… his whole life.

Full of chaos, Zack returned to his rounds as Point man, but he waved Kevin along to be sure things were covered while he explored the guilt-laden doors showing up in his mind.

8

Samantha waited outside her QZ tent in a daze. These painkillers weren't as good as morphine, but they were still strong enough to rock her a little. Hopefully, they would help her get through this without breaking down and doing something stupid–like telling her men the truth.

The guards on the area didn't comment on Sam's battered face, though they couldn't help staring at it. They'd been waiting for this moment. No matter which man she picked, they expected it to break up Neil’s team.

At the sight of both Eagles–alive and well–Samantha let out the breath she’d been holding since first hearing the whispers.
Men down
was a phrase she now loathed.

Samantha held up a hand when Neil and Jeremy would have rushed to her. “Let me breathe.”

Both males stopped, eyes angrily crawling along her injuries.

“
What happened?”

“
Are you okay?”

Sam didn't want to relive it. “Rick’s dead. Her shot was beautiful.”

The two men exchanged a worried glance at the odd tone. She almost sounded regretful.

“
Sam?”

She ignored Neil's worry, seeing to herself first. “I'm glad you're both okay. Welcome home.”

But there wasn't much welcome in her words. Jeremy leaned against the side of a QZ supply truck, patiently waiting to be denied what he now wanted as much as his place in Safe Haven. He was sure who she would choose, but he hadn’t decided about staying on the trooper's team once they were a couple.

Sam followed, hating what she was about to do.

Before she could speak, Jeremy held up a hand. “I don't need to hear it, too, Sam. Feeling it is enough.”

She flushed at his open longing. “I’m sorry I can't give you what you want.”

The XO shrugged like he wasn’t being ripped apart. “You and Neil together was the plan all along, the main plot. I’m glad it worked out.”

Samantha stepped closer, unable to ignore his pain. “I'm sorry.”

“
And you still want to be friends, right?”

“
Close friends.”

Jeremy shrugged, clearly fighting his emotions. “It's hard to pretend not to feel something for someone, Sam. Not sure I'm that good of an actor.”

Samantha hadn't expected it to hurt them all so much, and she swallowed a withdrawal of her choice. It wasn't what she wanted. “You'll stay away?”

Jeremy was too upset to care about witnesses. “I think that's best.”

“
I figured you'd say that. I understand, but I won't act differently.”

She smiled sadly, unable to help feeling abandoned even though she knew he had no other defense against her choice. “You were my first real friend here. I'll miss you.”

A tear rolled down her bruised cheek and Jeremy's control snapped.

“
Damn it,” he lamented, stepping forward. “And damn me, too.”

Jeremy carefully surrounded Neil’s woman with arms that didn’t shake, didn’t betray him. He held her close for one moment of pretending she was his. “I'm always your friend, Samantha. More, if you ever want it.”

Sam clutched at his strength, his need, surrounding herself with his light. “Promise?”

Jeremy slowly pushed her back, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Yes. Just let me heal for a while. It hurts.”

He was out of her arms an instant later, leaving Sam with a new wall of guilt. She should have stopped his play after the first act, but she'd had no will to resist after that life-crushing trip to get here. This was her fault for using them to ease her loneliness.

Neil studied Sam's stiff back for signs that she had anything more encouraging to say to him, but didn't find any. It didn’t stop him from trying. “I’d like to talk.”