From Rags (18 page)

Dane had been having a whole lot of fun teasing Connor that Jaxx was his Niki; the woman who would end his wayward ways and have him walking down an aisle and being a daddy. Connor wasn’t sure whether he wished that was true or was relieved that it wasn’t. He’d made the decision at just nine years of age to never have any of that. For all he knew, Jaxx felt the same. She always said when they were younger that she could never see herself getting married. She could actually be as anxious as hell right now because of what the tabloids had printed. He doubted it. She had never much cared what other people thought of her. But what if she looked at that photo of them both looking all cozy and lovesick and panicked that he might want more? She had never explained exactly what her own individual reasons were for why she didn’t want anything more than casual sex between them. But how did he ask about those reasons without sounding like he was hinting for more?

As he sat in the car outside the gym waiting for Dane, he took his Blackberry from his pocket. Maybe if he phoned Jaxx, heard her voice, he could put his mind at rest. He’d rather see her, but after asking her to agree to them not seeing other people he didn’t want to do anything that might make it seem like things were now more intense, she would probably bolt. Usually he waited a few days before getting together with her again, so he would do the same this time. Still, a phone call couldn’t hurt.

“Hello.”

Connor tensed. She didn’t sound her usual self. There was a mixture of annoyance, fatigue and fretfulness in her tone. “Just checking to see how you are.”

“Why?”

Was that suspicion in her voice? “Because the tabloids printed an awful lot of crap and I wanted to make sure it hadn’t cheesed you off too much.”

“Oh. Like you said, it was just crap. Look, I’ve got to go.”

“Why?”

There was a huffing sound. “I don’t need to explain myself if I want to end a bloody phone call.” Then the line went dead.

He stared at his Blackberry, stunned. No one had ever hung up on him before. And what the hell had he done other than ask why she had to go? Had he been right when he speculated that she might be spooked by that photo and was ready to end things? Not a chance would he let her do that! He was surprised by the vehemence behind that thought. Of course they would end it
eventually
. Just not yet. He wasn’t ready yet.

Dane hopped into the car and looked curiously at Connor who seemed annoyed with his Blackberry. “Can’t you get a signal?”

“She put the phone down on me.”

He didn’t need to ask who Connor was talking about. At any other time, he would have smiled at the situation. “I’m not surprised.” Connor’s glare switched to him. “Niki just phoned. Anita just walked in the door ten minutes ago. Apparently she went to see Jaxxon.” A string of curses flew from Connor’s mouth. “Jaxxon didn’t mention it over the phone?”

“No,” he bit out. Why didn’t she tell him? Was that the reason for her mood? Given everything that was going on, there was a very strong chance that she was going to end it between them. Shit. He took off the handbrake, whizzed out of the parking space and sped onto the road, heading to Jaxx’s apartment.

“I take it you’re not dropping me off home first then.”

“If I get anywhere near your house it’s highly likely that I’ll barge in there and strangle that bitch.”

“Oh. Good choice then.” Dane wished that his best mate wasn’t living in a world of delusions. The real reason he was speeding straight to Jaxxon’s was because he wanted to check on her. Dane would do exactly the same if it was Niki. He’d been trying to make Connor see the truth, but he was starting to think that it wouldn’t happen until Connor was ready to face it. What concerned Dane was that it could take his stubborn mate a long time to face facts. Jaxxon Carter was a stunner, she had plenty of blokes admiring her wherever she went. If Connor took too long, he could lose her to one of them. Dane didn’t want to see that happen to this bloke who had done a lot for him over the years.

If it wasn’t for Connor, Dane’s son would never have survived his birth. Niki had abruptly gone into labour and Dane was miles away. Connor had whizzed round to get her and then whizzed her to the hospital. The doctors had told them that any longer and Little Dane would have been stillborn. Never would he forget what Connor had done. It made Dane feel like crap when he was stood there in a room with his family while Connor was stood on his own, even with his newest conquest hanging off him he always looked alone. If Jaxxon Carter could change that then Dane wanted her to stick around.

Jaxxon growled for like the tenth time in the past fifteen minutes.
Why was it that when you wanted to be alone did you become popular all of a sudden?
Her phone had been like a hot line since she walked through the door. First it was Ollie who was oh so sorry if he had seemed abrupt and overwhelming earlier. Then it was Richie with the same apology. Then it was Tony, also apologising for the lecture but then went on to
repeat
the lecture. Jaxxon had hung up at that point. Then Anna had called; she was going out with Warren for a carvery and had an overpowering urge to share her excitement with Jaxxon. Then Connor…who she really hadn’t wanted to speak to while her brain was so minced up.

She was certain she didn’t have the willpower to follow Ollie’s advice and eject Connor from her life and she was heavily irritated by this. Damn the sod! If he hadn’t turned up they would both be fully functioning people operating on a strictly normal level as opposed to being dominated by a lust so consuming and controlling that it bordered on an obsession.

A hot bath had been the best idea she could come up with to help de-stress and relax. For the first time in her life she had tried bath salts and candles and that soothing bubble bath that Anna had given her to try. Until today, Jaxxon hadn’t actually known that it was possible to get the simple running of a bath totally wrong. The candles wouldn’t stay alight, the different scents didn’t gel, and the bubble bath hadn’t produced more than ten bubbles. Needless to say she hadn’t stayed in it long and had come out more stressed out than what she was before.

Then no longer was she towel-dried and wrapped in her silk, black robe than there was a knock at the door. Absolutely fricking fabulous. It didn’t take a genius to work out it was Connor. She didn’t have the energy for him and his oppressiveness right now. But wasn’t this her own fault for hanging up on him? She couldn’t exactly ignore the knocking. He’d either keep it up until she answered or pick the lock.

“Hi,” her visitor said nervously as she opened the door.

Not Connor. And had she looked through the peephole like she always did, she would have known that, and then she could have ignored the knocking. “Bruno.”

“I know I’m probably not your favourite person right now, but can I come in?”

While she was wearing only her silk robe? Not bloody likely. “I’ve only just got out the -”

“Two minutes. Please? I promise I won’t make any more lewd suggestions.”

She had to smile at that. “Alright.” He didn’t sit down, which made her a little uneasy.     

“First, can I just say sorry again for last weekend? I know it’s no excuse but I was absolutely smashed and -”

Jaxxon held a hand up, deciding to put him out of his misery. “Bruno, I’ve heard a lot worse than that over the years. I know you were rat-arsed and messed up over your ex.”

He winced and tucked his hands in the pockets of his navy jeans. “That’s the thing…”

“There’s a thing?”

He sighed. “I was fuming with my ex, yeah, but that’s not all it was Jaxxon. That’s why I’m here. It’s not going to come as a surprise to you that I like you. As more than a mate.”

Actually it did. She didn’t remember him ever being flirtatious or making hints.

“Jaxxon, I work with beautiful people all the time but you’re different…There’s no vanity, you don’t look down on people, you don’t take it all too seriously. You had me roped in from the start. I didn’t do anything about it because when I first met you things were mad with your new job and I knew it had to be hard for you adjusting to everything. I figured that what you really needed right then was a mate.”

And he had been a mate, she remembered. Always quick to offer help or advice or…well, anything, but she had been determined to find her own two feet. Still, why tell her this now? “Bruno, I don’t understand what you’re hoping I’ll do with this information.”

“I’m not expecting anything. I know you’re with McKenzie. I saw the photos.” It had hurt to look at them, and it was then that he’d realised exactly how much he’d come to like her…and what a dick he had been for not telling her. “I want you to know that when McKenzie’s out the picture…” He trailed off again, realising how corny ‘I’ll be there’ would sound. He was striving for another way to term it when there was a harsh knock on the door.

“Jaxx!” The voice was demanding an immediate response.

“Oh bloody brilliant.” There she was in her slinky robe with Bruno in her apartment with her. No prizes for guessing how this was going to play out. And, to be fair, why wouldn’t Connor think something dodgy was going on? It wasn’t going to occur to him to think through it logically, especially when he thought Bruno was her ex. He was just going to immediately assume the worst and react like a crazy person
.
“Don’t try to tell him nothing’s going on, it’ll only wind him up more if you speak and he’ll pounce on you like a rabid dog.”

“I’m not scared of him, Jaxxon,” he said, snickering.

She gave him a pointed look. “Then more fool you.” As she had anticipated, Connor barged right in. Then of course he turned to ice when his eyes settled on Bruno. “Connor -”

“What is he doing here?” It was only then that Connor got a proper look at her. And what she
wasn’t
wearing. A red mist seemed to fall over his vision. Rage was pumping through his veins and his lungs felt ready to implode. His stomach was twisting and knotting and his gut burned. His entire body ached with the need to lash out. He heard a voice behind him say ‘Oh bugger’ and realised Dane must have followed him instead of waiting in the car. Connor didn’t even bother looking, he only had eyes for the ponce…who he was about to kick the living shit out of. With. Pleasure.

“Connor, before you all Hulk on our arses, listen to me.” She put as much authority into her voice as possible, but it wasn’t enough. “
Connor
!” When he started toward his target she threw herself directly in front of this certifiably insane bloke and did the only thing she could think of to distract him. She whipped her robe open. It worked. His eyes dropped down the length of her body. She knew it would only distract him momentarily but that moment to insert some semblance of rationality into him was all she needed. “Now listen to me,” she insisted calmly as she re-tied the robe. “Yes, there’s a bloke in my apartment and, yes, I’m only in a robe but you and me made an agreement, Connor. You know me. Would I go against that? Would I have made it if I never intended to keep it?”

No, she wouldn’t. Not Jaxx. Another woman, maybe. But not Jaxx. A part of him knew that. A part of him knew that it wouldn’t make sense for her to let him in without hiding the bloke if she really had anything to hide. A part of him registered that although she was naked under that robe the ponce was fully dressed and didn’t have the look of a man who’d just had the best fuck ever – and he would have done if he’d had Jaxx. But his brain was spitting images at him of her and Bruno together and it was making him want to kill. His fists were clenching and unclenching and he was grinding his teeth.

“You best think through that haze, McKenzie, ’cause I’m not being held responsible for something that didn’t happen ’cause of what
other
people have made you think about human nature!”

That had his eyes snapping back to her face. Then he saw the strain there. Not just at how he was acting now. She was stressed and tired and he was just making it worse by insulting her like this. His distrust, how easily he found it to believe she’d do this, wasn’t just offending and annoying her, it was hurting her. He recognised something else too: however he acted now would determine whether he was welcome to ever walk through her door again.

CHAPTER TEN

Taking a long, deep breath Connor threw an arm tight around Jaxx and pulled her hard against him, aligning her body to his. The feel
of her calmed him like nothing else could.

Bruno saw the question in McKenzie’s wild eyes and shrugged. He wouldn’t let him intimidate him. He didn’t want to look like a wimp to Jaxxon. She needed a bloke who was strong. “I haven’t got an innocent reason for being here if that’s what you’re hoping for. The truth is…I came here to tell Jaxxon that I cared about her.” He heard a groan come from the bloke by the door. It was a sound that said ‘you are one stupid sod’.

Connor snickered. “Oh you did, did you?” If Jaxx hadn’t been right there, he would most likely have charged at the silly little twat.

“You don’t have to worry,” he spat bitterly. “She hasn’t chosen me over you. But I didn’t expect that she would, and I didn’t ask her to. I just wanted her to know. By all means stand there looking smug, but let’s not forget that once this big passion you’ve got between you has fizzled out you’ll drop her like a bad habit. It’s what you do. Something I’d never do to her.”

Connor wanted to growl that it wasn’t like that, that he cared for her. But the ponce was right in a way, wasn’t he? Nothing changed the fact that when the out-of-control need had been satiated he would finish it between them. The situation was still the same whether he was doing it coldly or not. He understood that the ponce wanted him to feel like this, wanted to show Jaxx that Connor wasn’t going to deny it so she wouldn’t be fooled. One more push – that was all Connor needed and he’d be on the ponce no matter what Jaxx said.