From Rags (11 page)

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I don’t know how to get him to understand the meaning of the word ‘no’. It didn’t matter what I said to him, nothing made a blind bit of difference. He still stayed, he still argued the toss about whether I wanted him, he still kissed me -”

“Kissed you? What was it like?”

Jaxxon threw her a look full of exasperation. “Focus, Anna. How do I get shot of him?”

“Are you sure you
want
shot of him?”

“Positive. Anna, he’s like a bloody tornado; he whirls in your life, makes a mess, and whirls back out just as fast. I won’t be used like that.” It would hurt too much.

“But you kissed him back, I’ll bet.”

“It’s a little hard to resist someone you’ve lusted after for ten years,” said Jaxxon defensively which made Anna smile.

“I can imagine. How long’s it been since you last had a shag?”

“Too bloody long.”

“Well…” Anna crossed her legs and started drumming her acrylic nails on the arm of the sofa. “I’d say go have a one-night stand to burn off some of that sexual frustration, but I know you don’t do those. If Connor was anyone else, I’d suggest acting like you’re in a relationship but he already thinks you’re with Bruno and he doesn’t seem fazed by it.”

“That reminds me, I’m going to have to tell Connor I’ve ‘dumped’ Bruno. The thought of doing what he wants cheeses me off but Bruno seems alright and he deserves to live.”

“Let me ask you a question. All the issues aside, do you want to shag Connor? It’s just…last night I thought you were going to jump each other’s bones right there in front of everyone. Maybe one shag to burn him out of your system wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”

“Anna,” groaned Jaxxon. “I want to get rid of him, not encourage him.”

“I know, I know. What I’m trying to say is you looked like you were up for it just as much as he did, and if that’s true and he’s not going to let this go you might end up having a moment of weakness and then you’d hate yourself for it afterwards. Why not, instead, turn the tables? Become the aggressor?”

“The aggressor?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t play games.”

“It’s not a game,” insisted Anna. “I mean
you
instigate the sex. That way, it will be on your terms and you’ll be using him as much as he’s using you. You’ll get him out of your system and then you’ll be the one walking away afterwards.”

Jaxxon could actually see the logic in that. She wouldn’t have to worry about how her will seemed to crumble when he touched her because the whole thing would have been her doing. She would have back the control that she lost over her life when he unsettled it. He hadn’t just walked back into her life, no, he had barged into it. And his kisses weren’t coaxing. Oh no. He had kissed and touched like he had every right to. That’s what had got to her the most; he was taking the choice and the control from her.

By later that night, Jaxxon had decided that if Plan A – getting him to go on his way without any more crap – failed to come to fruition, she would turn to Plan B: become the aggressor.

CHAPTER SIX

There would always be times when Connor questioned what exactly had inspired his mate to make him god-father of his son. He’d never thought of himself as role-model material, despite that he was admired and respected for coming from nothing and achieving what he had. Even though Jaxx had always insisted there was good in him, all he’d been able to see was a volatile temper and an overbearing nature. Then there was the fact that nowadays he had a reputation as a womaniser.

Yet, here was Dane’s two and a half year old son, Little Dane, hanging off Connor’s neck talking about Thomas the Tank Engine and calling him Uncle Connor. He had met Dane when he was sixteen when they were both in the Young Driver’s Support Programme. Dane hadn’t had a similar upbringing to Connor but seemed to understand him and never looked down on Connor for not coming from wealth as he had. When Dane got married Connor had expected to see much less of him but Dane and Niki always invited him round. It hadn’t escaped his notice that his god-father duties were pretty damn heavy. Sometimes he wondered if Dane was trying to domesticate him.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, mate, but you look knackered,” said Dane as he settled down on his sofa to watch the football match, crossing his long legs.

Connor, who was slouched in one of the armchairs with Little Dane on his lap, shrugged. “Not sleeping much lately.”

“You never sleep much. But today you look like shite.”

He shrugged again. “Training hard in the day and then not getting much kip in the night will do that to you.”

“You’re not losing sleep over Anita, are you?”

Connor snorted; that question wasn’t even worth an answer.

Dane nodded approvingly, making his tousled dark hair fall over his forehead. “I never could stomach her. I wasn’t really all that surprised when Niki said Anita was planning to get pregnant thinking it would trap you. Why she thought Niki wouldn’t tell me something like that and I wouldn’t then tell you is beyond
me.” 

“You’re not talking about
her
, are you?” Niki grumbled as she entered the room and sat snuggled into her husband’s side. She held out her arms invitingly to Little Dane but he shook his head madly, wanting to stay with Connor. Niki had taken an immediate dislike to Anita, instantly picking up on her deviousness. She hadn’t liked the way the actress clung to Connor either. It was unhealthy. But Niki had still been friendly and pleasant to keep things from being awkward for Connor. Anita, however, had read more into their ‘friendship’ and treated Niki as her confidant. If she hadn’t, the manipulative woman might be pregnant with Connor’s baby right now.

“Niki’s right, she’s not worth even thinking about,” said Connor.

“True. Still gets my blood boiling though.” Dane had been through something similar himself; an ex of his had turned up claiming the baby she was pregnant with was his, hoping to drive Niki away. Niki, however, had seen the crazy cow for what she was and had stuck by Dane. Paternity tests had then proven the baby wasn’t his at all. To think he could have lost Niki because of some callous lies…They would never have gotten married, wouldn’t have all that they had now, and Little Dane wouldn’t even exist. A world without his son – he couldn’t even imagine it.

“Connor, do me a favour and pass those magazines to me please. They’re on the little table next to your chair.” Holding out her hand, Niki waited for him to pass them over. However he stopped still as something on the cover of one of the magazines caught his eye. He had the oddest expression on his face. “Connor?” Quickly he handed them over. Curious, she examined the cover. She smiled. “Oh I remember reading something in the papers about you and her getting together after that charity event.”

“Who?” asked Dane.

“Jaxxon Carter.”

Dane enquiringly raised a brow at his mate who just nodded, verifying it was true. Dane thought it was odd that Connor wasn’t saying a word and was wearing a blank expression. The girl was absolutely gorgeous, any male would be smug to have had her. And yet Connor wasn’t even wearing a very-pleased-with-himself smirk.

“She is beautiful,” conceded Niki. What she wouldn’t give to exchange her thick, wavy red hair for those silky curls. If she could also exchange her pale complexion for Jaxxon Carter’s olive skin she’d be a happy woman. “From everything I’ve read she’s a right character. She doesn’t seem conceited or uppity, seems really down to earth. Is she?” She looked at Connor for confirmation. He simply nodded. Niki cast a confused glance at Dane who looked equally confused.

In Dane’s experience, there was only one reason why a male kept totally zipped on what was going on between him and a woman – there was a little more to it than physical stuff. He winked at Niki then signaled for her to leave the room.

“I need to phone my mum about Sunday,” announced Niki. “Dane, want to come and talk to Nan on the phone?” The two year old nodded excitedly and bounded out of the room.

Dane picked up the magazine Niki had been looking at and whistled at the photo of Jaxxon Carter on the cover. “If I weren’t married I’d happily shag that.”

Connor’s head whipped round. It was an effort not to growl. It wasn’t unusual for Dane to comment on one of Connor’s ‘conquests’, as Dane liked to call them, but Jaxx was anything but a conquest. “Don’t let Niki hear you talking like that.”

“I’ll bet she was a good shag.” Dane could swear Connor was grinding his teeth. “Are those tits real?” Still no response. “Come on, give me
some
details.”

Connor was seriously considering punching his mate.

“I’ve never known you to tap a model. You always said they got on your nerves ’cause they were so vain.”

“Well the ones I’ve met in the past were but, like Niki said, Jaxx isn’t.” Connor inwardly groaned as he realised he’d only gone and abbreviated her name in front of Dane.

Dane chose not to comment on how Connor had shortened the girl’s name but it wasn’t easy to hide his smile. “Mate, I don’t blame you for breaking your rule. If I’d had a girl like that throwing herself at me – before Niki, I mean – there’s no way I’d have turned her down.” He saw something on Connor’s face that made his suppressed smile break free. “Oh,” he chuckled. “She didn’t throw herself at you at all, did she? You had to do the chasing for once in your life.” He chuckled again. “Oh I like this girl. I have to meet her.”

Connor scowled. “Drop it, Dane.”

“Not a chance. I’ve been waiting for this for far too long. I intend to enjoy it.”

“Waiting for what?”

“For you to get sucked in by a woman.”

“I haven’t been sucked in.”

Dane snorted. “Sure you haven’t, mate. Why chase her when you’ve a got a line of women waiting then? Why’re you so prickly about me complimenting her?”

Connor concluded that he had to give him something if he was going to shut him up. He sighed. “I knew her before all this.”

“Before?”

“Yeah. Before.”

“You mean, like, you were together back then when you were teenagers?” asked Dane. Then something occurred to him. “She’s not the girl you mentioned that time I found you absolutely hammered when you were seventeen, is she? You said something about it being her fifteenth birthday and you’d
had
to get yourself well and truly rat-arsed or you’d have gone to see her.” Connor’s silence told Dane everything. “Let me ask you something then. If Jaxxon Carter is that girl who was important enough to you that you would drink yourself into a stupor over her – something I’ve never known you to do over
anything
– and she’s now back in your life again, why are you sitting here with me?”

Oh Connor was deeply regretting that he was there with Dane. All Connor had really wanted was to distract himself from thoughts of Jaxx. He had managed to ruffle her on Sunday and knew he couldn’t afford to allow her too much of a reprieve or a lot of recovery time. He needed to be right there taking up her breathing space if he had any chance of wearing her down. However he had also wanted her to sweat, wondering when he’d next show. Plus, a few days for her to cool off would help his cause. But thinking about her all the time wasn’t helping him keep to his plan.

If he was honest, they weren’t the only reasons he was staying away. It rattled him that he had such a driving urge to see her. Since kissing her on Sunday, he hadn’t been able to shake the memory of how she tasted, and he hadn’t wanted to. What he wanted was more. Maybe it was time to go and get it.

“Please tell me you’re done ’cause I’m freezing my tits off here!” griped Jaxxon, to which ‘Uncle’ Tony and his small crew chuckled. It was alright for them; they weren’t required to appear one with bloody nature in the chilly evening air wearing a thin dress.

“We’re done now, chick,” said Tony, almost drowned out by the bustle of the equipment being gathered to be loaded into the SUV which was parked down the hill.

Literally dithering, she leapt from the fallen tree she had been posed on and dived into her coat. She saw Tony’s smug look and shot him a glare that swore revenge. The idiotic man had come with the proposal of her modeling a collection of designer dresses made by a friend of his. Regardless of the fact that he was a popular designer, Jaxxon wasn’t keen on modeling skimpy things that revealed her body. Her response had been ‘Oh no’. Ollie had said ‘Sounds good’. Richie had said ‘I like that designer’. Their claims that she was out-voted meant jack to her, so Tony had resorted to gambling. He had bet her that she couldn’t get through a photo-shoot without swearing. Of course he’d won, so there she was in the middle of a woodland area having spent the day posing on rocks and protruding tree trunks.

“Just think, in a few weeks’ time you’ll be on that tour advertising the Allure line, sunning it up in places like Miami,” said Tony as he urged her to walk beside him down the hill. “You won’t be shivering then. Have you thought anymore about going to that trip to Milan before you go?”

“Still undecided.”

“Oh, chick, you don’t want to miss an opportunity like that. Others would kill to have a famous designer release an exclusive collection for them to model in their very own name. Did they want to use just your first name or was it your surname as well?”

“Tone, you must know by now that I’m not seeking the keys to Catwalk-dom. Strutting just isn’t
me
.”

“If nothing else, you can go over there and find yourself a fine, rich hubby whose life you can make miserable even while he adores you.”

“Funny, Tone.”

“Did Richie tell you about FHM magazine wanted you to pose for it?” he asked, smiling.

“You know very well what my response was to that. No way am I spreading myself all over a men’s magazine.”