From Now On (13 page)

             
Jo grunted as she punched down the dough one last time and covered it lightly with a cheese cloth. “Jack,” she said.

             
“The one and only.”

             
Jo grabbed a handful of paper towels and began scrubbing dough from her hands as she balanced the phone between her shoulder and ear. “How’s Kyra?” she asked.

             
“Almost two weeks overdue. The doctor said if she doesn’t go into labor in the next two days they’re going to induce.”

             
“I bet that’s something of a relief at this point.”

             
“Yes. Kyra is very uncomfortable.”

             
Jo could hear the concern in Jack’s voice. She could imagine him catering to Kyra’s every need, doing all the chores he hated so that she could rest. It was a very domestic scene that three years ago Jo couldn’t have imagined Jack taking part in. But that was before Kyra.

             
“How are you holding up?” she asked.

             
“It’s not about me, as my mother keeps reminding me,” Jack said with a sigh. “I could use a beer with the guys, but otherwise I guess I’m just as anxious for this to be over as Ky is.”

             
“I can understand that.” Jo threw out the paper towels and turned her attention to the fresh pasta bubbling on the stove. “How’s everything else? Work?”

             
“Great,” Jack sighed. “Same as always. How are you?”

             
“I’m fine.”

             
“Come on, Jo.” Jack paused for a second, waiting for her to say something. When she didn’t, he said, “I know you better than this. Tell me what’s got you cooking so intently.”

             
“What makes you think I’m cooking?”

             
“I can hear the click of that ancient kitchen timer.”

             
Jo glanced at the timer, a rustic egg shaped timer she had found at a yard sale years ago. Somehow it just made the whole process of cooking so much more fun that the digital timers all her appliances seemed to come with. It reminded her of her grandmother cooking on Sunday afternoons when she was little.

             
“Okay, you’ve got me there.”

             
Jack chuckled lightly. “So tell me what’s going on. Is it the wedding?”

             
That caught Jo by surprise somehow. She hadn’t really thought about the wedding much in the last few weeks, except for when she was with Emily. Not that she had dwelled on it much before. She had made peace with Emily and Ryan’s relationship. At least she felt like she had. But maybe she hadn’t made peace so much as came to a place where she could live with it. Now, however, it just didn’t seem as important as the mess she kept walking into with Mark.

             
“No,” she said quietly. “No, it’s not that.”

             
“Then what?”

             
Jo leaned against the counter, carefully moving out of the reach of the popping tomato sauce simmering on the stove. “I met someone.”

             
“Oh?”

             
Jo told Jack about Mark, about their first kiss, their dinner out, the whole fiasco after dinner. She told him everything up to the moment Mark turned from her after being served with custody papers. It didn’t take long, but it felt like she had ripped a huge scab from her soul and was allowing it to weep freely in front of Jack.

             
“It sounds like he really likes you, Jo.”

             
Jo tried to laugh, but it was choked back by a sob. “Then why does he keep turning away from me?”

             
“Because he is obviously still dealing with his past. That’s something he has to deal with first if the two of you have any chance of working.”

             
“But what do I do in the mean time?”

             
“Stand up for yourself. Insist that he let you support him through this or break it off.”

             
Jo groaned. “I can’t do that, Jack.”

             
“Yes, you can. You are a strong woman, Jo, stronger than you give yourself credit for. But you have to stop hiding and start fighting for yourself.”

             
“And how do I do that?”

             
Jack was quiet for a minute.  Finally he said, “That’s something you have to figure out for yourself, Jo.”

             
They talked for a while longer, but Jo’s mind kept going over that part of their conversation. Even after they had hung up and Jo moved around the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on her dinner—half of which ended up in more containers in the fridge—she couldn’t stop hearing his words. She had to fight for herself. How many times would she hear those words before they finally began to make sense to her?

             
Her whole life was out of control.

             
She needed a change.

             
But she didn’t know how to go about it.

             
The phone rang again, but this time Jo ignored it. Instead, she sat back on the couch and began making a list on a legal pad. In one column she wrote all the things she wanted to change about her life. First she wrote her mother’s name, determined not to let her mother continue to guilt her into doing things she didn’t want to do anymore. She would demand respect, would set things right between them. Second she wrote job. No more would Becca give Jo all the grunt work. Jo wanted to be treated with respect and to do that, she had to prove herself less of a push-over somehow. And third was Emily. As much as Jo loved Emily, she needed to change the dynamics of their relationship. Jo no longer wanted to be afraid of Emily outshining her. Jo wanted to be as confident as Emily, she wanted to learn how to be a social butterfly just like her sister. There was so much she could learn there, if she could just stop being so afraid all the time.

             
In another column, Jo wrote down all the things she loved about her life. Her couch, her music, her movies, her books, her cooking. These things she wouldn’t change. Instead, these things she vowed to spend more time on, devoting more time to the simple pleasures in life. If she was going to be alone, then she needed to find enjoyment in that.

             
Last, Jo wrote Mark’s name in both columns. She didn’t know what to do about him, didn’t know if there was even a future there. But she knew she wanted there to be. She knew she wanted anything he was willing to give, even if it had to wait until his fight for his kids was over, even if it meant allowing him to turn away a few more times before he could decide what it was he wanted from her.

             
The next morning, Jo was lost in thought as she walked into the building. Robert called to her from his perch behind the security desk.

             
“Hey, Robert,” she said with a smile.

             
“You okay today, kiddo? We never really had a chance to talk yesterday.”

             
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said with a smile. A smile that wasn’t forced, a smile that didn’t hide anything behind it. It felt good.

             
“That’s great,” Robert said. “I hate to see a great girl like you brooding around.”

             
“How can that happen with you here?”

             
Robert was nearly blushing at the compliment. Jo kissed his cheek lightly before rushing to join the crowd headed for the elevators. Jo found herself humming under her breath as the elevator took her to her floor, causing some of her coworkers to look sideways at her. Jo simply smiled and continued on.

Sandy was waiting for her in her office when she walked in.

             
“Don’t you look happy,” Sandy said. “I like the new do.”

             
Jo reached up and touched the soft curls that fell casually around her face. “Didn’t feel like the ponytail today,” she said.

             
“It suits you,” Sandy said. Then her smile disappeared and Jo knew she was in for trouble. “Becca wants to see you.”

             
Jo groaned. “What now?” she asked, meaning it as a rhetorical question.

             
“Rumor has it that she wants you to take over cataloguing the complaints that come in from the other floors.”
             

             
Jo narrowed her eyes. “That’s something the secretaries have always traditionally handled.”

             
“I know,” Sandy said, clearly speaking from her own experience doing just that.

             
“I’ll take care of this,” Jo said, storming toward the door with such speed that she almost missed the look of surprise on Sandy’s face.

             
Jo marched down the hall and knocked on Becca’s door and entered without waiting for a greeting. “You wanted to see me?” she asked as she paused in front of Becca’s desk.

             
Becca’s eyebrows rose, but she made no comment on Jo’s suddenly confrontational attitude. Instead, she gestured for Jo to take a seat. When Jo remained standing, Becca shrugged. “I wanted to talk to you about the complaint system. I thought it would be ideal to restructure it, to have you go over each one individually and implement solutions where necessary.”

             
“You do realize that ninety percent of the complaints we receive on a weekly basis are just jokes, right.”

             
“Yes.”

             
“So wouldn’t it be a waste of my time to go through them when the current system has been working quite well for years?”

             
“I think this will be more efficient. That way anything important will not be overlooked.”

             
“But what about the time it will take from my other duties?”

             
Becca shifted in her chair. “If you can’t keep up, then I can easily reassign some of your duties. Beth would be more than happy to take up some of the slack.”

             
“Beth’s a clerk.”

             
“Well, it would come with a promotion, of course.”

             
Jo nodded, understanding dawning. “You’re trying to replace me with your friends.”

             
Becca clenched her jaw for a brief second, then smiled a cruel smile. “You are overstepping.”

             
“So are you.” Jo turned to leave.

             
“I haven’t dismissed you.”

             
“Don’t bother, Becca. I no longer care what you have to say.”

             
“I can have you fired.”

             
“Go for it.”

             
Jo was shaking as she walked back to her office, but it wasn’t from fear. It was elation. Jo had never felt so completely confident in her entire life. It gave her command to call Becca out the way she had. It suddenly didn’t matter if she lost her job, if she would have to start over somewhere else. She had put Becca in her place and that was worth everything it would cost her.

             
Sandy caught Jo’s eye as she passed, a question in the subtle arch of her eyebrows. Jo smiled and winked. She expected Sandy to follow her into her office, but when she walked through the door, she was surprised to find Mark there.

             
“Jo, I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

             
Jo pushed her door closed and leaned against it, her hands behind her back as she watched the way he watched her. Again her mind swirled with a million questions, but just like she no longer cared about her job security, she found herself unable to worry about what might happen a week, a month from now. All she wanted was for him to keep looking at her as he was doing right this minute.

             
“Mark, you don’t—”

             
“I do.” He walked to her, pressed his hand on the door just above her shoulder, trapping her between the door and his body. “I was caught by surprise yesterday. I knew Danielle was thinking about suing for custody, but I didn’t really think she would go through with it.”

             
“So what does this mean?”

             
“We go to court at the end of the month.”

             
“Do you think she could win?”

             
Mark’s expression tightened as he looked away for a minute, telling Jo all she needed to know. She lay a hand lightly on his chest and whispered, “I’m sorry.”