Friends With Multiple Benefits (34 page)

"That's a possibility."

"Here it is." Victoria grinned widely. "Yes, how about Paula Dean?"

"Racial slurs. Okay, yeah." Jillian smiled. "That's good."

Victoria turned to Jillian with her palms raised. "I think that's it."

"But I've never heard her say anything like that before."

"There has to be a way to do this." Victoria tapped her finger to her chin. "Give me a minute to… So, Amanda is still trying to sleep with Brian, right?"

"Yeah."

"What if we get her alone with him and he gets her to say, you know, stuff like, 'Fuck me with your N-word cock.'"

"How could he get her to do that?"

"Huh…" Victoria paused, thinking. "Um, maybe he wears
blackface
and—"

"No, that's idiotic."

A light
brightened in Victoria's eyes. "How about this? He tells her that you aren't into role play and that he really likes
role
play. What do you think?"

Jillian cringed. "It sounds kind of stupid."

"Stupid. Do you have a better idea?" Victoria scoffed.

"No, but—"

"We can make this work. We'll record the whole thing and threaten to release it to the media if she doesn't drop out of your show."

"How's he going to get her to say it?"

"Get them naked together again, like in the shower, and he'll get her so worked up when he starts the role play thing."

"Naked?"

"Yeah, that's probably the only way it can work."

"Huh…" Jillian frowned. "Wait, um, if he's coming on to her what if she attacks him and they end up actually having sex? I couldn't deal with that."

"Um, well—"

"I know." Jillian put on an evil grin. "I'm sort of embarrassed to admit this, but I do have a little experience in the making him unable-to-get-an-erection department."

"You mean when he sees you without
make up
?" Victoria asked innocently.

"No." Jillian cringed. "That was really mean."

"Sorry, what are you talking about?"

"Remember when he played that trick on you when you were trying to get him naked in front of everyone at that party at your house?"

"Yeah…" Victoria rolled her eyes. "He pretended to have a seizure and scared the shit out of me."

"Remember he couldn't get it up."

"Uh-huh."

Jillian wore a grin and shook her head from side to side as she pointed to herself. "I gave him like five orgasms, before he went to your house. So many that he couldn't get hard for a few days after that."

"I'm impressed."

"Ugh…" Jillian exhaled deeply. "My mouth and my hands hurt for like a week."

"I can imagine."

"Do you think Brian could really sell it and get her to say those things?"

"With enough practice, why yes. Yes, I do."

"All right. Let's do it."

"You want me to get naked and do what?" Brian looked first to his wife in disbelief then to her partner in crime, Victoria, and
grumbled, "This
has to be
her
idea."

"We came up with it together." Jillian nodded.

"Now I'm really scared." Cringing, Brian pointed to Victoria's chest. "I could almost take you seriously if half your nipple wasn't showing right now?"

"What?" Victoria looked down. "Oh, sorry." She chuckled, then adjusted her shirt to cover her partially exposed nipple. "Sometimes that happens."

"Uh-huh." Brian rolled his eyes then headed to the kitchen. "I need
a beer
. Does anyone else need one?" He turned back to them and scoffed. "Wait, I'll bet you've both been drinking already."

"No, we're both completely sober," Jillian said.

"Now, I'm really scared for the both of you." He twisted off the top of his beer and took a sip.

"This
is
a great plan." Victoria frowned. "I don't get why you can't see that."

"Um, because I'm not insane." Brian walked past them to the great room and plopped on the sofa as the gal pals shared a disappointed look.

Jillian began, "Why don't you just take some time to—"

"I thought you were going to talk to her and clear this whole thing up," he interrupted.

"I went to talk to her but before I could, I overheard her telling someone on the phone she was going to destroy our show and…" Jillian pointed at
him. "…
and she called you a dork."

"A
dork
?" His jaw dropped open. "Really, she called me a dork?"

"She did. And she called me a cow."

"That's mean," Brian began. "You look amazing."

"Thanks." Jillian shot him a hopeful look. "So will you help us?"

"She's not the first person to call me a dork. I think I'll survive."

After taking a sip, he put the bottle on the table and grabbed the remote. "I really wanted to watch this tennis match, so maybe you guys could go ahead and, you know, try to corrupt someone else."

The girls plopped down on either side of him and Jillian seductively stroked his arm while giving him a suggestive look. "I'll make it worth your while."

Victoria rubbed his other arm.

Brian glared at Victoria's hand then slowly met her gaze. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Just trying to help."

"Please don't tell me you're trying to bribe me with a threesome because I don't think your husband would approve."

"No, yuck." Victoria made a face.

"What the hell do you mean yuck?" He looked at her insulted. "A few years ago you propositioned me. More than once."

"Yeah, but now… now we're like brother and sister."

"Okay…" His expression softened. "I guess I'll buy that."

He shrugged his right shoulder to get Victoria off him then turned his attention to his wife. "But isn't it illegal to tape someone without their consent."

"Not in this state," Jillian replied.

He turned his attention to Victoria. "Is she right about that?"

"Um…" Victoria looked to
Jillian,
who
simply
returned a wide-eyed confused shrug. When Brian returned to
Jillian,
she had put on a confident smile. "I'm sure it's completely legal. We googled it and everything. And I'll check with my lawyer just to be sure."

"You will?" Brian looked to Victoria.

"Yeah,
sure,
" Victoria replied, but when Brian looked away, she held back a smile, shook her head and mouthed the words,
I won't
.

"Okay, so how exactly are you going to make it worth my while?" He picked up his beer and took a sip. "I want to know."

Jillian leaned over and whispered in his ear. He raised his eyebrows then his eyes bugged out of his head a little. This went on for fifteen seconds until Victoria said, "I want to hear."

"Shh." Brian glared at her.

"Will you do the whole, you know, thing?" He turned to Jillian. "Like the first time and then the second without, you know…"

Jillian frowned a little then shrugged. "Sure."

"No." He shook his head. "Your heart really isn't in it."

"What?" Jillian scoffed. "It is."

"I want to feel like you really want to do it. Not like you're just going through the motions to get what you want."

Victoria moaned, "Come on. I want to know what you guys are talking about. Is it anal?"

He groaned and rolled his eyes at their big-breasted blonde friend. "Stay out of this."

Jillian got up on her knees. "No, I really want to do it."

"I want two… no, three of those." He wore a smug expression.

"Three times!" Jillian exhaled frowning a bit.

"I was this close to asking for four." He held his thumb and forefinger an inch apart. "Is that what you want, huh?"

"No, three." She nodded confidently. "I can do three."

"Good, then we have a deal?" He put out his hand and gave her a wide-eyed expectant look.

"Deal." She shook his hand.

Victoria folded her arms. "You're really not going to tell me?"

Jillian mouthed,
I'll tell you later
.

"Don't you have a husband to go home to?" Brian gave her a pointed look.

"Yeah, but we already did it twice this morning so he needs a break." Victoria paused a moment seemingly reliving her morning romp. "I never knew a guy could shoot so much and so high up. I was finishing him off with my hand and he—"

"Please don't." Brian lifted his hand in the air and grimaced.

"He's like
the porn
star Peter North. He shoots ropes."

"What?" Brian cringed.

"Yeah, they say Peter shoots ropes and, I guess, so does Jim."

"Oh my God. What's wrong with you?" Brian turned to Jillian hoping to share a horrified look but found she was wearing an awestruck expression instead. "What is it?"

"What?" Jillian shook herself back to reality. "Nothing."

"And don't you go telling her about our deal." Brian shot his wife a look. "You know, you guys are a little too close. Some things should be kept private."

"Private." Victoria scoffed. "Remember last year when we were playing that game and we all watched while you tried to blow yourself?"

"Geez, why are you bringing that up?"

"To point out that we share everything."

"That's exactly my point. We're all a little too close. I don't want to hear about your amazing sex life and the only vagina I want to see is hers and the only penis I want to see is mine."

"What about all that porn you watch," Jillian said.

"I don't watch that much," he replied, defensively.

The two women shot him skeptical looks.

"Okay, so there was a couple week period there where you were sick and I was, you know…" He sighed. "Look, I just don't want to see any vaginas and penises of people I know except for those right here." He wagged his finger back and forth between himself and Jillian.

"You're no fun." Victoria rose to her feet.

"I'm a lot of fun." He shot her an arrogant look. "You can't even imagine how much fun I am. Right, babe?" He turned his attention to his wife.

"What?" Jillian replied.

"You're thinking about shooting ropes aren't you?" Brian looked at his wife in slack-jawed, bewilderment.

"Well…" She wore a hesitant look. "I was just trying to picture it in my head and I can't."

Victoria put her hand on Jillian's arm and whispered, "I'll send you a link later."

"Don't you dare. I don't need you showing her any more giant penises or huge ropey loads." Brian cringed. "My God… I can't believe I actually had to say
ropey load
."

The two girls shared a laugh.

"She's a horrible influence on you." Brian rolled his eyes. "You're corrupting my wife."

"Oh, you love me." Victoria waved her hand at him, dismissively.

"Yeah," Brian grumbled. "So, where are we going to do this?"

"How about the couple's therapy room in my office?"

"How the hell would I get her there?" Brian asked.

"Wait, what if we did it at the club?" Jillian looked past Brian to her co-conspirator.

"Yeah, in the locker room." Victoria nodded. "We could probably even get
video
in there."

"Video, yeah, that would be perfect."

"You're going to film me with
my
… No, I don't think so. I'm not risking my junk going viral again."

"Oh, we'll pixelate out your dick." Victoria sighed. "Relax."

"Wait, you really know how to do that?" Brian asked. "Do you have some special software or something?"

"Oh, yeah
sure,
" Victoria said confidently.

When Brian turned to his wife, Victoria shot her a confused expression along with a shrug.

Brian frowned. "I don't know."

Taking his hand, Jillian pleaded, "Please."

After taking a moment, he sighed. "All right. Exactly how do we do this?"

"Great." Victoria rubbed her hands together. "Jillian, get me a notebook and a pen. I'm going to lay this whole thing out."

Later that day, Brian called Amanda and apologized for running out on her and her special friend during
the storm.
Working from Victoria's script as the girls listened in, he told the famous actress that he was under a lot of stress with the new babies and that he was starting to get fed up with Jillian's constant mood swings. He told her he hadn't stopped thinking about her since that day at her house and that he wanted to see her alone. He told her that Jillian was a bore in the bedroom and that she would never act out his fantasies with him. He added that he knew that she was different. They agreed to meet, after hours, at the tennis club that Sunday and pick up where they left off the night of the movie wrap party.