Friends With More Benefits (22 page)

She began again with a scolding voice, "WHEN HE
asks you for advice on this, you tell him to never tell Caroline
that we slept together again."

"You really think he didn't tell her?"

Victoria raised her eyebrows as if to say he was
a complete moron.

"Right she had sex with him and all so, of
course…"

She closed her eyes and shook her head. When she
looked at him with a bored expression, he continued, "Sorry. Most
of my blood still hasn't returned to my brain. I'm still recovering
and not thinking all that clearly."

She nodded in agreement, took a deep breath, and
stared at him. "You tell him to take this to his grave, and you do
the same. If you do tell someone, especially the judgmental and
perfect angel Jillian, the next time my mouth is near your penis,
I'm going to bite down—hard. You got me?"

He nodded a little frightened.

"And when Jim tells you he loves me, and he also
loves her, and he's confused about what he should do, you tell him
that he needs to stay with Caroline and marry her. As much as I
love him—or think I do. I don't…All I know is that when I was on
the balcony listening to them…she said things that, that…let's just
say if he doesn’t marry her, then I might have to ask her out."

"Now there's a honeymoon I'd like to see."

He appeared to be somewhere far away as he
added, "With your amazing tits and her spectacular ass, you put
those together in bed and wow…"

Victoria was momentarily sidetracked as well. "I
wish I had her ass. Could you imagine me still with these?" She
pointed to her chest. "And her ass…I wouldn't be able to leave the
house." After pondering that for a moment she snapped back to
reality as he continued his trancelike stare. She grinned at him
and then called out loudly, "Hey, are you with me?"

He said slowly, "Sorry I haven't had sex in a
week." He shook the cobwebs out of his head and opened his eyes
wide.

Victoria said, "Where was I…Oh, you tell him
that she's the one for him. Tell him that I'll be fine, and
everything will work out. Tell him not to worry about the baby.
That we'll figure out some arrangement. You get all that?"

He nodded.

She gave him an angry look, "Don't fuck this up.
Have some balls. Your brother's happiness depends on it." Victoria
emphasized this with a medium-strength backhand tap to his groin.
He slumped over in pain and began to groan. She said, "Sorry about
that, just trying to…you know make a point."

"I got it," he whimpered.

Victoria face morphed into one of genuine
concern. She said, "Oh God, sorry I've been so flaky lately. I'm
acting like a total bitch. It's the hormones I think, I don't
know…" Some mild anger returned to her voice. "I just want what's
best for Jim. So if I, well— Did I say thank you for saving my life
earlier?"

"I'm not sure, but you're welcome," he said
hesitantly as he covered his groin with both hands.

She took a deep breath. "Ok, I'm better now. I'm
so proud of you for marrying our Jillian. I know you'll make a
great husband."

"I love her."

"I know you do…I wish I could have what you two
have, but I don't think I can…I know I would screw things up for
Jimmy and me…Help me out here. Talk to him."

"I will."

She gave him a hesitant look. "Are your balls
okay? You're really going to need them tomorrow."

"I think so." He felt around down there and then
nodded.

"Good." She smiled and then said in the sweetest
motherly tone. "Now go to sleep. You have a big day tomorrow."
Victoria lifted up the sheets, and he slipped under the covers. He
looked ten years old as he curled up with his pillow. She sighed as
she looked at him and kissed him tenderly on the cheek.

When she reached the door, she turned back and
whispered sarcastically, "Hey fantasy boy, do you need me to finish
you off?"

He chuckled, "Get the hell out of here."

She grinned and slipped out of the room.

About three minutes later, he got up, locked the
door, and went into the bathroom. Ninety seconds later he was done,
smiling and back in bed. About twelve seconds after that he was
sound asleep. The last thought that crossed his mind was, who needs
Ambien when you've got the most natural sleep aid available in the
palm of your hand—well, if you're a guy anyway.

Early the next morning, Caroline woke Jim with a
kiss. He smiled at her. "Hey…last night…wow."

"I was able to get a flight, but I need to leave
now. Please apologize to everyone for me."

"You sure?" She nodded with a sad smile and he
asked, "Do you need a ride?"

"The cab is already outside."

"I love you."

"I know you do. Remember what I said last night,
and I'll see you when you get back."

She kissed him again and then slipped out the
door.

A few hours later, Jim sat by the pool thinking.
He spotted Brian walking and called to him. Jim took off away from
the house and motioned for Brian to follow. When they were safely
away, Jim said, "I had sex with Victoria last night after Caroline
took off with Laura. We were just talking, and I touched her belly
and one thing led to another and, uh…"

"And?" Brian asked impatiently.

"And then Caroline showed up, Victoria
disappeared, and I had sex with her." He whispered, "We even did…"
he checked around, found it clear, and then continued, "anal."

Brian made a face. "You did anal with Victoria.
Oh…wait you didn’t go ass to mouth did you?"

Jim paused to think. "No, not Victoria. I went
mouth to ass." He nodded confidently. Plus I took a shower between
the two."

"Mouth to ass…that's okay, and the shower…well
that makes it slightly better."

"How am I supposed to live with myself? I mean
one minute I'm having an orgasm inside Victoria's you know, oh and
then a second one in her mouth, and then ten minutes later Caroline
was going down on me and then…" Jim punctuated the unfinished
thought with raised eyebrows and a knowing look.

Brian shook his head still unable to grasp how
he could perform like this. He said, "Who are you—some kind of sex
god?" Jim sighed. He'd just about had enough of Brian, but his
older brother continued, "No, really, I want to know how you could
perform three times in like ten minutes. Is it some supplement or
exercise reg—"

"I really need you to focus here," Jim
interrupted in an angry tone.

Brian exhaled deeply. "Okay. Yeah, sorry. So I
assume that you didn’t tell Caroline about Victoria?"

"No, but I really think I need to."

Brian looked at him sternly. "You can never tell
her. No matter what you do, don't tell her."

"I feel so guilty."

"Did Victoria tell you if she had sex with
anyone else since you guys last did it?"

Jim looked confused, "What does that
matter?"

"Did it come up?"

"She said she's been with no one else."

"Okay good, then you don’t need to feel
guilty."

Jim looked at him lost, "Why?"

"You know they say that once you have sex with
someone, you've also had sex with all the people that person has
had sex with?" Brian crossed his eyes confused for a moment and
then continued, "Also all the people that the people they've had
sex with have had sex with. It's like once you've slept with
someone you've all of a sudden had sex with ten thousand
people…unless of course you do it with a virgin." Brian shook his
head pleased with getting that all out semicoherently.

"What the fuck does that have to do with
anything?"

"Here, follow me. So if Victoria hadn't had sex
with anyone new, then you haven't added to your count, and now that
you've had sex with Caroline, you haven't added to her count
either. So technically there's nothing for you to feel guilty
about."

Jim glared at him. "Wait, you're an idiot. Using
your logic I could go around screwing nothing but virgins, and I
wouldn't need to feel guilty about it."

"Yeah, that doesn't sound right," Brian said and
gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry, I'm losing it. I haven't had
sex in like a week—well, not with someone else."

"Oh, come on, dude," Jim grimaced.

Brian kept plodding along, "Jillian's running
around practically naked and teasing me with talk of threesomes."
Brian moved in close to Jim and grabbed him by his shirt. "I know
she's not serious, but you don't joke around with a guy with blue
balls about a threesome…you just don’t do it." Jim looked at Brian
like he might need some professional help. Brian sighed and
released his shirt. "I'm also nervous about the wedding and the
lawsuit and I quit my job and—"

"You quit your job? Why?"

Brian nodded and explained, "Because my boss was
an asshole, and I hated sitting in that bank. And I think I'm going
crazy. I got a fucking full Brazilian wax like five days ago, and
my ass itches so bad that I feel like scratching it with a cheese
grater."

"You got waxed?"

Brian simply said, "Victoria."

Jim nodded as if to say, 'Nuff said!' Then he
asked, "Is there anything else?"

"No," Brian said then he exhaled deeply.

Jim rolled his eyes. "I thought we were supposed
to be working on my problems, but since you mentioned yours let me
knock them out for you. You are marrying the most beautiful,
amazing woman on the planet so everything will be fine. I'm pretty
sure you'll be getting laid tonight so tuff it out and jerk off
again if you really need to. Um, the job? Jillian has lots of money
so no worries there. Oh and for your ass, try some baby powder."
Brian nodded along with each suggestion and then Jim asked, "Can we
get back to my issue?"

"I think I'm still waiting for you to tell me
exactly what the issue is."

Jim glared at him as he said, "Uh, I'm in love
with two women. One of whom is carrying my child. Oh and I had sex
with both of them in the space of a long commercial break."

"Do you really love Victoria? I mean lust is one
thing, but love is another. Every guy would probably want to have
sex with her. I imagine that she's just some kind of acrobatic,
thinking-outside-the-box, sexual genius. It would be pretty easy to
mistake lust for love when someone's doing things to you that,
while they feel amazing, are illegal in most countries."

Jim nodded, "Sure she's amazing in bed, but
there's something else about her. I love her. I'm sure of
that."

"And Caroline?"

"I love her, too." Jim exhaled deeply and then
stared at Brian desperate for understanding.

"Look, Caroline loves you.
She's amazing. She's
your
age
…Victoria is a financially secure,
independent woman who doesn't really need or want one man in her
life. She can survive and overcome anything."

"I know. I know," Jim said, nodding and
beginning to come around.

"Does Caroline have a problem with Victoria
having your baby?"

Jim sighed. "I mean, she's not crazy about the
idea, but she said we'll find a way to make it work. She said she'd
marry me if I can commit to her. She told me to figure it out and
decide."

"And I assume the sex with Caroline is…"

"Oh my God, it's amazing, too. I, uh—"

"Then it's simple. Victoria will never settle
down with one man again. That part of her life was over when her
husband died. You figure out exactly how to deal with the baby
thing, and go get Caroline. If you lose her, you'll want to hang
yourself."

"Okay. You're right." Jim gave him an
appreciative smile.

Brian looked away, thinking, and then glanced
back to Jim. "Seriously what kind of vitamins do you take?"

Jim grinned and grabbed Brian around the
shoulder and put him in a headlock.

Jim knocked gently on Victoria's door. She
opened it wearing only a short robe. She smiled sweetly, and he
asked, "Can we talk for a minute?" She nodded. He closed the door,
and they sat together on the bed.

He asked, "What happened to you last night
after, uh, we…When I came out of the shower, you were gone."

"I panicked. It was too much too soon, and I
freaked out and went back to my room."

"Oh." Jim stared at the floor as he continued,
"Caroline came back last night. She told me she didn't sleep with
Jeff. She was just making it up to—"

"Well that's great news. She loves you."

"She flew back this morning. Says she can't see
you right now, and she didn't want to spoil the wedding." Jim
looked Victoria in the eye as he said, "I didn't tell her about
us."

"And you never should. That would devastate
her."

"I don't know what to do. I know I love you.
It's not just lust. I mean, sure I can’t look at you without
getting hard, but it's more than that. You're intelligent, kind,
giving, sexy, and the nicest, most—"

"Look, I love you too," Victoria felt her cheeks
getting flushed, and her pussy getting wet. These damn hormones,
she thought. She really wanted him inside her again, but she fought
that feeling back. Victoria took a deep breath. "I do, but I don't
think I can ever settle down again."

"I think you're just afraid to let yourself be
happy."

She nodded. "Maybe. Look, I think you only meet
your soul mate once in this life, and I met mine and he died. Your
soul mate is on a plane right now, thinking about nothing but you.
She loves you. She wants to marry you, but she wants to know you
don't have this other thing always hanging around in your mind. If
you screw this up with Caroline, you'll regret it for the rest of
your life. You'll wake up one day and realize that someone else is
married to your soul mate—the one person who gets you. The one
person who completes you for lack of a nonclichéd thing…"

"But the baby, I need to—"