Authors: Mark McNay
Sean looked at the bank and remembered the old dear.
No. Ah couldnay face that again the day.
Albert called over his shoulder as he stepped off the pavement.
Fair enough wee man.
Sean ducked under the arcade and rolled himself another fag. He leaned on a pillar and felt the cold and the smoke beat up his lungs.
*
Ah got a phone call from my uncle Albert one Monday afternoon. My auntie Jessie had took a heart attack and was in the Royal Infirmary. Ah got washed and changed and got the first bus into the city centre. Ah was fucked if Ah was missin out on another relative. When Ah got there, Albert was sat at the side of the bed with her hand in his and she was sleepin. There was pipes goin in and out of her and a machine beeped away at the side of the bed.
Ah drew up a chair and sat on it with my flowers in my lap. Ah didnay know what else to do. Eventually a nurse came up and took the flowers out my hand and put them in a vase. Ah followed her into the station and asked what the score was with my auntie. The nurse telt me she should be alright. They’d caught her in plenty of time. With a bit of care in the hospital, and a change of diet when she got home, there was no reason why she couldnay live for a few years to come.
Ah went back to the bedside and clapped my uncle on the back. Is there anythin Ah can do? He gave me the same look he gave my auntie when he telt us our mammy was dead. Poor old bastard. It was like he didnay know where he was. So Ah asked him about Rab and he started, coz he’d forgotten all about the boy. Ah telt him Ah’d get down the school and pick him up.
Rab came back to our house and Maggie made him his dinner. Ah said Ah’d take him up the hospital. Maggie shook her head but Ah remember how Ah felt when no cunt took me to see my mammy so Ah thought
fuck it and took him up there. When Albert saw me walk into the ward with Rab he got the huff, but the boy was old enough to cope with an hour watchin his mammy have a wee sleep.
Ah went to see my auntie Jessie every night when she was in the hospital. Our Archie went up once and dropped a bunch of roses off and spent a half-hour lookin at his watch. My uncle was a bit pissed off with him. Archie’s got a fuckin motor so there’s no reason why he couldnay make an effort and get up there through the day. It’s no as if the cunt’s got a job.
But as Archie said, hospitals gave him the heebie-jeebies. And no wonder when yer ma went into one of the places and never came out.
When my auntie was better, Ah went round to see her. She gave me a cuddle and pushed a twenty-pound note into my hand. Ah didnay want to take it but she wouldnay let me leave without it. Said she knew Ah was short and with all the bus fares to and from the hospital Ah must be about skint. No to mention the amount of grub wee Rab can eat. She telt me she’d never forget what Ah’d done and Ah’d shown the difference between me and my brother. Ah telt her no to worry about it. If it wasnay for her and my uncle, me and Archie would’ve ended up in a home. And fuck that for a game of soldiers.
*
Sean didn’t have to wait very long before Albert came out of the bank and passed him a brown envelope. He tried to take it but Albert gripped it between his thumb and forefinger. He looked Sean in the eye.
Remember the conditions.
Sean nodded and tried to look serious.
Ah remember.
Albert nodded and let the envelope go. Sean tucked it into the inside pocket of his jacket. He wanted to count it but thought Albert might get angry if he did it in front of him. It would be best to leave that part till he was on his own in the toilets.
Sean and Albert walked back to the factory. Sean was buzzing. He walked erect and his chest was taking deep breaths of the lovely air. They soon reached the factory gates and, as they entered, the security guard looked at his watch.
What time d’ye call this?
Sean looked and smiled.
Fuck off company man.
The security guard winked at Sean and looked at Albert.
Where’s my pint then?
Albert pointed behind him with his thumb.
It’s in the Saracen.
The security guard laughed.
Ah’ll pick it up after work.
No problem. What time d’ye make it?
The security guard looked at his watch.
Twenty to one.
Albert looked at his watch.
Ah make it half twelve.
The security guard looked at his watch
Come to think of it, my watch is a bit fast. Half twelve sounds about right.
Albert winked at him.
Ah thought so.
Sean and Albert walked into the yard. Sean screwed up his face.
Would ye smell that?
Aye Ah know, it’s fuckin .
They got to the factory door and Sean ran ahead.
Last one in’s an Englishman.
They bumped into Sammy in the corridor. He was coming towards the canteen from Fresh.
Where were ye? Ah’ve just been up Fresh lookin for ye.
Sean looked at Albert then back at Sammy.
In the canteen.
Aye, my arse. Ah can smell the drink from here.
Albert mumbled.
Better than the smell of shite.
Sammy looked at Albert.
What was that?
Ah said beer improves the sight.
Sammy looked confused, shook his head and turned to Sean.
Can Ah have a word?
Aye go ahead said Sean.
Sammy nodded at Albert.
In private said Sammy.
Sean looked at Albert, who nodded and walked towards Fresh.
Ah’ll keep an eye on yer line till ye get back. Don’t be long.
Sammy gave Albert’s back the fingers.
Miserable old bastard.
Sean pointed at Sammy.
Mind he’s my uncle.
Aye whatever. C’mon.
Sammy led Sean to the toilets. When they were in there, Sammy had a good look about.
Walls have ears.
Sean laughed.
Ye’ve watched too many spy films.
Ah’m fuckin serious, ye cannay be too careful who knows yer business. Knowledge is power and that.
Aye alright big man. What d’ye want?
Sammy pointed to the door.
Just put yer foot against that door.
He pulled a packet out of his pocket and tapped some powder onto the edge of a wash basin. He made a rough line and bent down to snort it.
Yer comin the cunt now.
Sammy stood up sniffling and rubbing his nose. He nodded towards the wash basin.
D’ye want a line?
Sean looked left and right. He licked his lips.
No, Ah better no.
Sammy shrugged.
Suit yerself.
He sorted another line on the basin then bent down for a sniff. He shook his head and sniffed a big mouthful of snot down his throat.
Cheers for holdin the door pal.
Sean smiled.
No bother son. That’ll make the rest of the day go whizzin past.
Sammy laughed at the joke and got his tobacco out.
Here, d’ye want a fag?
He pulled out his pouch and passed it to Sean. Then he wiped the basin with his finger and gave it a good suck. When Sean had rolled a fag, he passed the tobacco back. Sammy grabbed it and rolled himself a fag. Every few seconds he gave Sean a look as if he was about to ask something. Then he asked.
Can ye play brag?
Course Ah can.
D’ye want a game?
Sean gave his lips another lick.
Who with?
Coupla guys from Packin. They’ve got plenty of money.
Oh aye?
Sammy rubbed his fingers against his thumb and nodded.
It’s payday wee man.
Sean felt his back pocket.
So, when’s the game?
One o’clock.
What about my work?
Get yer uncle to look after it.
What about the foreman?
Don’t worry about that cunt. Ah’ll gie him a tenner
if he shows his face. Or Ah’ll offer him a batterin. That’ll shut him up.
So where’s the game?
Come down to Frozen just before one o’clock and Ah’ll take ye to it.
Sean walked to his station and bent down to get his gloves from under the conveyor belt. He pulled them on and waited for the chickens. It wasn’t long and one appeared over the horizon. He felt like a hitchhiker in Texas or somewhere. It was getting on and he hadn’t had a lift all morning. The sun was beating down on his poor wee head and his lips were chapped. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. Then, a long way away on this American road straight out the films, a car appeared. It got closer and closer. The dust trail was massive. His whole life zoned in on this possible carriage out of the hell of the American countryside. It drew up beside him, the door opened with a hiss and it fell onto his conveyor belt with a slap. He picked it up and hung it on a hook.
Then came a bit of a traffic jam. Loads of them appeared. One after the other. Sean prepared himself for the onslaught by cricking his fingers and looking over to Albert. They nodded at each other. Chickens were everywhere, and Sean had barely enough time to workout how he was going to get away from the Junction for a game of cards. Not that it mattered. If
he hung on to the money he had, he’d just be two hundred under what Archie gave him. Not too bad.
He couldnay complain about that.
But he would. He’d want to know how come the money went missing. He’d use it against Sean at every turn. Sean would have to run some drugs about to pay the money back. Just not as much as if he’d lost the lot. If Sean could make up the losses, he could go about his business without the threat of a late-night visit. Last thing he needed was to be woke up at midnight and asked to drive a car to Edinburgh or London or Possil.
Aye there was no point in just having the eight hundred. Might as well have nothing. Archie was going to be angry unless he had the lot. The best thing to do would be to go to the cards with two hundred as a limit, and if it dropped more than that to stop playing and come straight back to the Junction. All it would take would be a bit of self-discipline. He might even walk out of Frozen with Archie’s money and a few quid for spends anyway. That would be excellent. Give Archie his cash and then take Maggie out for a well-deserved dinner. Table for two and a wee drop of bubbly. Waiter pulling the seat out as she goes to sit down. She’d love that. Sean would get the lord and master treatment for weeks after. Woken up by a gammy on Sunday morning followed by breakfast in bed.
Lovely.
Thing to do now was come up with a wee scheme that would let Sean out of the Junction for a while and not tell Albert that he was playing cards with the
boys from Packing. He could try the dodgy belly routine. Go to the toilets and kid on he’d been there for an hour. But that wouldn’t work. Albert would tell him he’d made a quick recovery. Especially if he won. But then again, if he won he wouldn’t care what Albert thought. He could just give him his money back.
Ah’ll tell him.
Albert was right behind Sean.
Tell who what?
Sean nearly shat himself.
What are ye doin sneakin up on me? Could’ve gave me a fuckin heart attack.
Alright wee man, take it easy.
Sorry. It’s just ye gave me a bit of a fright.
Yer jumpy the day.
Can ye fuckin blame me?
Albert’s eyes brightened up and he nodded.
Aye Ah can.
What d’ye mean aye?
Ye’ve got yerself into a sorry state so ye have.
What?
Yer no entirely blameless. Are ye?
Ye don’t know how temptin it is to have all that money lyin about the house.
Just coz yer tempted to do somethin doesnay mean ye have to do it.
What are ye, a fuckin saint?
Ah’ve had my problems.
Ye wouldnay fuckin think so, the way yer goin on.
Ah never stole off my fuckin brother. Ah know that.
Ah was goin to put it back.
Trouble is, things don’t always workout like that.
Ah fuckin know.
Albert’s station dropped a couple of chickens. So he walked off. Sean watched his old back for a minute and then his own line popped, so he turned and watched a lonely chicken travelling up the conveyor belt.
Sean felt like a child who’s just captured a bluebottle. The sort of child that doesn’t just squash it. First he shakes it in his hands for a bit to stun it. Then he pulls its wings off and calls it a miniature elephant. Roll up, roll up, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the world famous O’Grady circus and the fabulantastical miniaturalittle elephants. But that wouldn’t be right would it? Elephants have four legs and bluebottles have six so he’d have to pull two of its legs off. Preferably the middle legs. When he’s fed up with the elephant he pulls off its two back legs. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s a beautiful sunny afternoon here in Daytona and I’m glad you could join us for the thirty-third international drag racing champion ship. It’s a bit of an anti-climax after Daytona. He pulls its last two legs off, watches it meditate for a while. Then he squashes it.
Sean sent the broken chicken on its way and tried to work up to having a sore belly. He grabbed it and went aaah, but could feel a blush coming on, so the chances of pulling it off in front of his uncle were slim. Maybe if he just said he needed a shite he could get off and think up an excuse on the way back. He walked over to Albert’s station.
Uncle Albert?
What is it?
Ah’m sorry for snappin at ye.
Albert bit his lip.
Ah know yer under a bit of pressure. Let’s just forget about it eh?
Aye OK. Is it alright if Ah nip off for a bit?
Albert turned round with a frown on his forehead.
How? Where are ye goin?
Sean held his belly.
Ah think Ah had a bad pint coz Ah’m dyin for a shite.
Albert’s frown eased.
Aye go on then son.
Sean’s heart pounded as he walked down the steps and into Fresh. The fluorescent lights were dazzling and he could make out the slight flicker in the one closest to the corridor. He pushed through the plastic door and the walk to the toilet seemed like a hundred miles. He went straight to a cubicle, locked himself in and drew the envelope full of money out of his pocket. He tore the side off and slid out the wedge of tenners. A quick count and there was forty-nine of them.
Forty-nine? That’s no right.
He banged the wedge against his hand and recounted it. Fifty, right enough.
Fuckin eejit, ye cannay even count, never mind play cards.
He tucked the cash into his pocket. He crushed the envelope, dropped it into the bowl and pulled the chain. It danced around in the water and he thought it wasn’t
going to flush away, but at the last moment it caught the current and whipped round the U-bend. All that remained was a small triangle of brown paper circling round a dying whirlpool.
He looked at the water for a bit then he got up and opened the door, went to the sink and washed his hands. He caught his eye in the mirror and almost flinched.
C’mon wee man. Ye can do this.
His mirror image looked up and they stared into each other’s eyes like lovers, or men about to fight.
No bother.
He left the toilet and walked with his head down. He heard the odd Sean crackling through the air as he passed people he knew. He nodded in reply but didn’t stop to chat. Before long he was pushing his way into Frozen.
The cold hit his lungs like a dry cigarette. He breathed shallow and headed towards a golden light. As he drew near he could make out the window in a steel cubicle that was putting out the rays. He opened the door and walked into the cubicle. There was a guy in there hunched over a computer.
Where’s Sammy? said Sean.
He’ll be back in a minute.
Sean rubbed his hands together.
It’s cold in here.
The guy turned his screwed-up face towards Sean.
That’s coz cunts keep openin the fuckin door.
Oh sorry.
The guy hunched back over his terminal and mumbled.
Three tons of chicken wings for Doncaster. How the fuck do they expect us to have that ready for the morra?
The door opened and Sammy looked in. He flicked his head at Sean, who followed him out of the hut. Sammy nodded to the hut.
Ye didnay say anythin to that cunt did ye?
Did Ah fuck.
Good coz the stupid prick always wants a game but he’s never got any money. Starts fuckin about with ten-bob raises. We’re playin for bigger money than that. Sean felt the pulse jump through his throat at the sound of the big money.
That’s what Ah’m here for.
Sammy touched Sean on the shoulder.
One thing though pal. There’s no skinflints or tick merchants on our game, so gie’s a look at yer stake.
D’ye no trust me?
Ye know me son. Ah trust no cunt.
Sean pulled his wedge out his overalls and gave Sammy a quick swatch.
Good enough for ye?
Sammy gave Sean a frown.
Aye that’ll do. Sorry wee man, it’s just that Ah cannay be lettin ye get into trouble because ye’ve no enough to cover the stakes. C’mon.
Sammy walked through the Frozen wastes and out the door into the corridor. Sean followed, watching Sammy’s key chain jangling like a jailer’s.
Where are we goin?
Sammy looked over his shoulder.
Ye’ll find out when we get there.
He pushed through an emergency door and held it open for Sean.
Push it back till it looks shut but doesnay click. We might need to get back this way.
They walked between a barbed-wire fence and the factory wall for a hundred yards. An electricity sub station hummed as they squeezed between it and the fence. Sean pulled bits of leaves and spiders’ webs out of his hair.
Fuck sake Sammy, where are we?
Sammy put a finger to his lips.
Shh.
He pointed to an open space ahead. There was a guy in a suit pacing up and down. He walked with a funny little skip like a wee lassie in the playground. He was having a fag. They would have to wait until he had his smoke and fucked off back into the office. Sean leaned against the substation and looked at the sky. The clouds were grey and it looked like it might snow again.
*
Me and Albert went to the Fiveways one Saturday mornin. It was a lovely day and we got there at eleven. The usual crew were in the bar so we had a coupla pints and a game of pool. Ah didnay pay much attention when one of the boys went on about this sure thing for the gee gees. Said he’d heard about it from
some cousin of his that worked as a stable-boy in Newmarket. Thing is the guy that was spreadin the rumour about the horse was always tryin to tap me up for the price of a pint. It made me wonder if he’d really know a sure thing if it hit him on the face. And anyway, a successful gambler’s no goin to let every cunt know about his bets. That would be stupid, coz the more money that goes on a horse the shorter the odds.
We left the pub after a few beers and headed home for our dinners. On the way Albert kept goin on about this sure thing. It was soundin more attractive by the minute. He said Ah should gie it a wee try. At ten to one it was well worth a fiver’s risk. He couldnay wait to see the look on the bookie’s face when he walked out with fifty-five quid. Imagine it son. Fifty-five quid to spend on what ye like coz the wife doesnay know fuck-all about it. He looked like a wee boy when he was tellin me that.
Ah let him blabber on about the horse. Angel’s Delight it was called. He said it was a message from God. Ah said it was called Angel’s Delight coz it was a fuckin puddin. But Ah went into the bookie’s with him anyway and watched him put the bet on. When we’d left and walked about a hunner yards up the street Ah said fuck it, Ah’ll have a wee punt and ran back. Ah telt Albert to walk on and Ah’d catch him up.
The truth of the matter was Ah couldnay let him know how much Ah was puttin on. Ah had fifty bar of Archie’s money in my pocket. He’d dropped it round the night before and asked me to look after it till
Monday. Ah didnay want to leave it in the house in case Maggie found it and thought Ah was holdin out on her, so Ah kept it in my pocket. It must have been the drink that gave me the bravery to risk it on a horse. Especially one tipped by some old tramp in the local waterin hole. Ah wouldnay have done it sober that’s for sure.
As soon as the bookie took my money Ah knew Ah’d made a mistake and asked him for it back, but he just pointed to a sign that said somethin about null and void and no monies are refundable.
Ah caught up with Albert and whined at him. We’ve made a mistake and Maggie’ll kill me. He grabbed me by the shoulder and said c’mon son it’s only a wee bit of fun. What’s the odd fiver eh? Ye’ll soon spend that on the drink. Ah said right enough, and we went up to his house to watch the race on the telly. Ah couldnay believe it when the bastard won. It took a few minutes for the effect to kick in. Then Ah knew Ah was pure fuckin rich. Ah telt my uncle Ah’d run down to the bookie’s and pick up our winnins. Ye should’ve seen the bookie’s face. He was gutted. Wished he’d gave me my money back, so he did.
That night Ah asked my auntie Jessie to babysit Donna so that Ah could take Maggie up the toon for a night out. Maggie loved it. She said the best thing about goin out is no havin to wash the dishes after yer dinner. She wanted to know how Ah could afford it. When Ah telt her Ah’d won at the bookie’s, she didnay know whether to gie me a cuddle or gie me a row. Ah didnay tell her Ah’d risked fifty bar of Archie’s money. She would’ve
went daft. Ah telt her it was one of them Yankee bets where ye put on a coupla pound and the odds are that long if ye win anythin yer laughin. And anyway, Ah only telt her Ah’d won two hunner.
As for the old bookie, he shouldnay have been so miserable coz within a few weeks Ah’d gave him most of his money back. Ah was in there just about every day. Ah started gettin the Racin Post and studyin the form. Ah got so Ah could hardly think of anythin else but the fuckin gee gees. My next mistake was to ask him if Ah could have an account. He rubbed his hands the gether at that. And no fuckin wonder. It gave him a start on my wages before Ah’d even earned them.
After six months Ah owed him a fortune and Ah thought fuck this and started to put my bets on at a bookie’s up in Springburn. Ah got an account with him as well but ye cannay keep secrets in the gamblin world. Before Ah knew what was happenin, the first one heard about it and the two of them got the gether and made sure Ah was barred out all the local bettin salons. Then they sold the debts to some shady bastards who werenay feart to bang round the door at all hours tryin to get their money back. And as for the interest. That was unreal.