Freeing Carter (6 page)

It's
my favorite thing about her
: the
way the house could be crumbling around us
but it would still be so easy to make her smile
. Not sure if that
'
s a trait
,
either
,
or if my sister just kicks ass.

"
Morning
.
You're
up early.
"
Mom kisses my cheek. Bill
,
Sara
'
s dad
,
is standing next to her.

"
I need to get to school and get some stuff done
.
"
So I don
'
t fail English. And get kicked out of basketball.

"
Hey
,
Carter. Want to run out to the car with me? Sara forgot her bag and I need to run to work
before
I
'
m late.
"
Bill wears round glasses just like Sara
,
only his aren
'
t as thick. He
'
s so different
from my biological dad
. At least
,
from what
little
I remember or can tell from pictures. Dad played basketball
,
too. He was young
,
but had a heart attack playing ball. Mom says he loved it like I do. All my games are for him.

And Bill—well
,
he
'
s a cool guy
,
but he
'
s more of a paper-pusher than Dad was. He and Mom got along okay
,
but I always wonder what they had in common.

"
Yep. Right behind you.
"
Mom hands me a Pop Tart and I push a bite in
to
my mouth as I follow Bill out. He stops me after handing me the bag and my stomach drops. I know what
'
s next. We go through this every
few months.

"
How she
'
s doing
,
Carter? Still not drinking?
"

Liar. I
'
m such a liar.
It makes me nauseous. Guilty.
"
No
...
I told you I
'
d tell you if she started again. We
'
re all good
,
Bill.
"
My sister
'
s big
grin pops
into my head. For the millionth time
,
I wonder if I
'
m doing
and saying
the right thing. But those thoughts are shoved aside when I think of Mom with Sara. Mom loves Sara—maybe more than she loves me because she doesn
'
t drink when Sara
'
s home. Ever. It used to kind of piss me off
,
but now I
'
m
relieved
.
Maybe Mom knows I can deal with it. Sara couldn't.

"
Good. You know I hate putting you in the middle of this
,
I just have to look out for you kids. I know she loves you
,
but
..."

Protectiveness rolls over me.
"
But nothing
,
Bill. She wouldn
'
t do anything that could hurt Sara. You know that.
"
One time. He
'
s seen her drunk
one
time and he thinks he knows her? He doesn
'
t know anything. And she didn
'
t even have Sara when it happened
,
either.

He pushes his glasses up and rubs his nose.
"
It
'
s a disease
,
Carter. I know she wouldn
'
t
mean
to do anything
,
but it
'
s my job as Sara
'
s dad to make sure. Is she still going to AA?
"

"
No! She
wouldn
'
t
do anything to hurt my sister. No matter what.
"
My gut
clenches
,
when I think about what to say to his second question. The secret liar comes out of me again.
"
And yeah
...
she
'
s going.
"
Does it count as lying when you do it for a good reason? I have no doubt
it would
kill
Mom and Sara to lose each other
. I know I
'
m an outsider
,
looking in on them sometimes. Sara and Mom doing all
the
girl crap I have no interest in. How can I risk either of them losing that? That whatever-it-is
mother/daughter
bond they
share
?

Sara
'
s in no danger when it comes to Mom.

Doesn
'
t
Bill
know
,
even if it came down to that
,
I
'
d never let anything happen to Twig. If she drank with Sara home
,
I wouldn
'
t let it slide.

"
I worry about you too
,
Carter. It
'
s not just Sara.
"

I nod because
I know Bill cares in his own little way
.
He
means well
,
but he still doesn
'
t get my mom. I wonder if
Dad
did. If that
'
s what made them so different. If that
'
s what makes it so she can
'
t get over him. That and the fact that he saved her from my asshole Grandfather.
"
I gotta go. Gonna take this in and then head to school.
"

Bill looks at me like he knows I
'
m trying to escape this conversation
,
but I go anyway.
"
See
ya
later.
"

With each step I walk away
,
my guilt shrinks. I
'
m sticking up for my family. It
'
s the right thing to do. It has to be.

***

I struggle not to crush my coffee cup as I set it down. Instead
,
I flip the page in my English book like I
'
m supposed to
,
trying to figure out what it is I
'
ve been reading. It
'
s a blur of names
,
places
,
and a whole lot of crap that feels like a waste of my time
,
but nothing jumps out at me. I don
'
t even know what these people are supposed to be doing or what they
'
re saying
,
so I shove the assignment in the book
,
and into my
back
pack it goes.

I already spent half the stupid morning at this coffee shop
,
trying to catch up
,
but I have crap to show for it. Math
,
I get. People actually use that stuff. But unless I plan on being the next Mrs. Z
,
which we can safely bet I don
'
t
,
why does it matter if I can dissect every little thing in a book that I wouldn
'
t even remember the name of if I didn
'
t have to?

Half the morning has gone by and I
'
m no closer than I was last night. Fighting the urge to walk out
,
I pull some paper from my binder to start the two page essay I have to write. With the lure of practice calling to me
,
I have to get something done to pacify Mrs. Z. 

Two and a half hours
,
two double shots
,
and a headache later
,
I shove the one and three quarter pages into my bag and bail. Lunch is almost over and skipping English would be a huge screw up on my part
,
no matter how much I want to. Remembering I need a note
,
I forge Mom
'
s signature then head to the hell that is known as English.

Mel
'
s standing by my locker when I get there
,
flicking her hair and giving me the evil eye.
"
About time you got here.
"
Her arms are crossed in that pissed-off girl way.

"
Sorry my mom will let me stay home once in a while and yours won
'
t.
"
It
'
s times like these I feel bad for the lies because there
really isn't
a good reason not to tell her what I did. I
'
m not doing it to save Mom or to be there for Sara
,
but how lame is it to be failing English? To be
that guy
who pulls his hair out
while trying to
write a stupid paper? Not cool.

So I lean forward. Exit guilt
,
hello Melanie
'
s lips.
"
Next time I
'
ll bring you with me.
"
Which we kind of need. She
'
s right about the fact we won
'
t see each other much once basketball and cheer start. I give her a quick kiss
,
which ends up being quicker than I planned because she pulls away.

"
Yuck. Coffee breath.
"

My girl totally knows how to make a guy feel good about himself. Not.

"
Take me instead. I don
'
t care what your breath smells like.
"
Travis steps up beside me
,
pretending to throw his arms around
my neck
,
but
stops
at the last minute. We bump fists instead.

"
I didn
'
t mean
...
Whatever
."
Mel says and walks away.

Travis shakes his head.
"
Ever think life would be so much easier if we
were
single?
"

I hold out my hand because his words deserve another bump.
"
For sure.
"
It sucks
,
because things used to be so much easier with Mel. I needed that
. Now, she spends half her pissed off at me, which means I spend half my time pissed off, too
. But the alternative is a whole can of worms I flinch at the thought of opening.

"
I think Mel and Trina get together
every morning
to decide if they want to be normal or psychotic. Today
'
s definitely a psycho day. Thanks for leaving me alone with it.
"

I laugh as we round the corner into English. Mrs. Z
'
s eyes
are
on me
,
burning a hole into my skull. I give her a quick nod
,
trying to
convey that
I got something done
,
though I
'
m not sure it
'
s going to be enough
for
her
.

Sliding my
gaze
away from her laser-beam glare
,
I
spot
Kira
at
her desk. Her braids are up in a
knot-
thing on her head
,
black and purple strands going in every different direction. Surprisingly
,
it doesn
'
t look half bad.
Weird, but not bad.