Freeing Carter (28 page)

"
I
t wouldn
'
t have worked out. You know that. We were starting to fight all the time. You started hanging out with another guy.
"

"
Devin was a mistake.
"

"
It
'
d be a mistake for us to get back together. You know that as well as I do.
"

She reaches up and touches my hair. Even if part of me wants it to
,
the touch doesn
'
t feel the same. She
'
s not even looking at me the same.
Mel doesn't want me back for me, she wants me back because she's starting to realize she can't have me
.

I start to pull away just as another voice comes from down the hall.

"
Carter! Carter! We won!
"
Sara
,
Mom
,
and Kira are standing by the door that leads to the gym. You
'
ve heard that saying time stopped? Yeah
,
I always thought it was dumb until now. It really feels like time stops. Like I
'
m doing something really bad and I just got caught and there
'
s nothing I can do about it. Sara looks at Mel and then at me.
"
Ew. She
'
s yucky.
"

"
Sara!
"
Mom gasps.

Mel huffs.
"
Whatever.
"

I finish pulling away from her. 

Kira is standing with my family. She crosses her arms and shakes her head. It
'
s almost a mad gesture
,
but she doesn
'
t look mad. Disappointed
,
maybe? Jealous?

A woman stands behind her
,
touching Kira
'
s shoulder. Comfort? Wishful thinking on my part? Probably.

"
I
'
m sorry
,
Mel
,
I gotta go.
"
The words haven
'
t finished leaving my mouth before I start jogging away.
"
Hey
,"
I say to Kira when I get up to them. I look back to make sure Mel is gone
,
which she is.

"
Hey
,
Coach. Good game.
"

For the first time in my life
,
I try
to
study a girl
'
s voice besides my mom. Is there something hidden in there? Is she really telling me I had a good game or
pretending
she thinks that when really she
'
s wishing I fell and busted my head open on the court.

"
Thanks
..."

The woman behind her reaches out her hand to me.
"
Hi. I
'
m Lana. I
'
ve heard so much about you.
"

T
hose words
,
hearing that she
'
s heard about me
,
make me feel better than winning the game did.
"
Carter. It
'
s good to meet you.
"
I
'
m talking to Lana
,
but looking at Kira. I
'
m pretty sure this ranks me up there with her on the crazy factor
,
but I
'
m looking for some sign that she
'
s mad. Almost wanting her to be mad at seeing me with Mel
,
because that will mean Travis was right and she likes me.

"
Sorry I missed most of it. The store was crazy. Since Kira took my car
,
I rode out with Lana.
"
Mom
'
s voice is the only thing that pulls me away from Kira. It sounds right. Normal. Sober
,
but I need to look at her too. See her eyes
,
feel the way she hugs me. See if any hint of that tangy scent clings to her.

"
It
'
s cool.
"
I reach out and hug her
,
which I
'
m sure she thinks is strange. But it
'
s her and she
'
s sober so everything
'
s okay. My lungs stop hurting when I let the air out of them. I hadn
'
t even realized they hurt until they didn
'
t.

"
Wow. That was nice.
"
Mom smiles.
"
Sara
'
s tired though. We
'
re going to head home.
"

My little sister
'
s arms wrap around my waist and I squeeze her shoulders.
"
I like it when you win for me.
"

"
Always.
"

"
Be home by curfew.
"
Mom winks and glances at Kira
,
throwing me off a bit. She
'
s never winked at me like that. Sara pries her arms away.
"
Thanks for the ride
,
Lana. Are you guys leaving too?
"

The other woman nods and I feel like hyperventilating.

"
See
ya
later
,
Coach.
"

There
'
s no way I can let Kira walk away. On instinct
,
I reach out and grab her hand.
"
Wait
...
Let me take you home. I mean
,"
I turn to Lana.
"
Can I take her home?
"

She laughs. She has dark skin too
,
but I don
'
t think she has African American in her like
I think
Kira does. Lana looks like she
'
s Hawaiian. Kira a mix of black and something else.
"
You don
'
t know her very well if you
'
re asking me that question.
"

My heart starts racing. I need Kira to say yes. I also need to talk to Mom.
"
Wanna go with me? I mean
,
ride with me. Hang out or something?
"
Wow
...
I
'
m smooth.

She sighs
,
but it
'
s not an annoyed kind of sigh.
"
I guess.
"

I smile at her
,
but it
'
s Lana who replies.
"
Curfew for you
,
too.
"

Mom
,
Lana
,
and Sara start to walk
out the door. Panic swells inside me. I need to catch Mom but away from Lana.
"
Wait! Mom. I
..."

When she looks at me
,
I see the hurt in her eyes. It beats down on me
,
burying me in guilt. She knows what I think. What I want to say. What I can
'
t find a way
to
say in front of everyone else.

"
I know
,
Carter. I know. Sara and I will be okay. I
'
m thinking popcorn
,
hot chocolate
,
and a Barney marathon. How does that sound to you?
"
Her voice fakes the lightness that doesn
'
t reach her eyes.

"
Perfect
,"
I reply
,
even though she wasn
'
t talking to me.

Chapter Twelve

Just like when I brought her home the other night
,
my truck is quiet. It
'
s a little after nine so we have a couple hours before either of us has to be home
.
I have no idea where we
'
re going
,
so I
'
m just driving around
,
trying to figure out where to take her since I practically begged her to come with me. That
'
s not the only thing I
'
m trying to figure
out
. I
'
m not sure what to say
,
either. I sort of want to talk to her about Mel. Let her know that if it looked like we were up to something
,
we definitely weren
'
t. Mel was
,
but not me. But that makes it look like I think she cares
,
when I don
'
t know if she does or not.

Will it make me look like a conceited jackass if I bring it up?

But if I don
'
t
,
am I the jerk who kisses her and then has my ex
'
s hands in my hair a week later?

I
'
m really not too thrilled to be either of those guys.

"
Music?
"
I ask
,
reaching for the CD player
,
but she pushes my hand down and shakes her head.

"
Nope. I like silence sometimes.
"

Oh-kay. There went that try. Next option—basketball.
"
So
...
you practiced anymore since the other night?
"

"
Let
'
s do something crazy!
"
She says in reply
,
turning in her seat to face me.

"
Huh?
"
I totally just missed something.

"
Y
ou need to relax. I can see it. You
'
re too tense. Let
'
s do something fun! Let
'
s be wild!
"

This is what I love about spending time with this girl. She never says or does what I expect. It
'
s so different being with her than anyone else
,
because even though I have no clue what she means by
'
something wild
,'
I want to do it. With her. Actually
,
I
'
m pretty sure I need to.

"
Okay. Like what?
"

"
I don
'
t know
.
L
et me think.
"
She
looks
around
,
out the windows like something is going to jump right out at her. I have no doubt it will. Any time I can spare having my eyes off the road
,
they
'
re on her. Taking in her hair. Seeing her in a jersey with my name. Wishing I could touch her the way the shirt does.

"
Oh! Right there!
"
She points
off to the side of the road.
"
Pull over.
"

I look
,
but all I see is a small senior apartment complex.
"
Where?
"

"
Coach!
"
She grabs the wheel like she
'
s going to pull off the road for me. I slow down more
,
batting her hands away and pulling in.