Freed by Fire (5 page)

“Burke!” I heard one bellow, pointing to one of the men still sitting around the table. “Get your ass up here!”

The man shook his head and laughed.

Just as I was about to look up and ask Leland who they were, he was gone. He moved through the space and jumped on the stage with the rest of them. Maybe it was the low-lighting, or the good mood the music put me in—I didn’t even notice what all of them (with the exception of Leland) were wearing. CFD shirts.

“Em! That’s Chicago’s finest right there. The boys from the fire department by our place. Leland’s brother is one of ‘em,” Maggie shouted over the music and Ellie began to bounce again, this time in her chair.

“I love men in uniforms.” Ellie giggled and sipped her beer.

Me too, Ellie, girl. Me too.
“Yeah, they’re okay.”

Ellie gaped. “Okay? Emery, you must be blind…See that blonde one sipping his beer right now, that’s Daniel. We had a little…
fun
together once or twice.”

I peered over to the stage and sized Daniel up. Yep, he was pretty delicious. I winked at Ellie. “Nice.”

Talking Heads faded to Luke Bryan. “Cold Beer Drinker” to be exact. This time Leland hopped off the stage and hauled the guy—the one who declined singing during the previous song—up onto the stage.

“Burke! Burke! Burke!” the patrons started chanting.

I nearly fainted.

This
Burke
…the one on the stage. Was the same guy I had been ogling just earlier today. This time he didn’t have sunglasses on to shield part of his face. He was…panty-dropping pretty. Part of me wanted to run over and toss mine on the stage while he sang the song with his friends, his arms draped over Leland and another guy.

“I see you, little Miss E.” Maggie waggled her finger at me. “You’re getting all horny for Leland’s little brother!”

“What?!” I gaped, pretending to have no idea what she was talking about.

“That’s Caid, by the way. And yes, he has an accent too.”

Sweet damn
. “That’s nice.”

“Emery, I can totally hook you up! Daniel’s like, Caid’s best friend.” Ellie smiled pleasantly.

“Ohhh, no. That’s okay…Really. I just like looking from afar. Like, a distant admirer. Please don’t play cupid.” I chugged my beer, trying to get a little buzz going and forget about how unbelievably awkward I felt since Leland asked Maggie who I was.

Damn Luke Bryan for not singing a longer song. It ended and Leland and the fire crew got off the small stage and sat back down to start drinking again. I refilled my glass and started sipping again. Watching Leland lean on the table with his palms flat out, talking to the guys. Laughing at something his brother said and punching him in the shoulder.

When Leland nodded his head toward our table, and Caid turned around to look, I nearly slinked down in my chair. Forget turning crimson, I just wanted to disappear. I don’t know why I was so scared. It wasn’t like he was walking over to talk to me.

Okay, he’s walking over to talk to me. Well, I don’t know if he’s coming to speak with me specifically, but nonetheless, he’s coming over here and
oh, sweet fuck
, I was fidgeting like a crack head in my seat.

“Em?” Leland’s deep voice almost made me jump from my skin when I pretended not to notice them coming our way.

“H—hi,” I stammered again.
Damnit!

Leland had a devilish grin on his face, and Caid’s was simply unreadable. “This is Caid, the ugly Burke. He was hopin’ you’d be up for a good snog.”

“Lee!” Caid roared and shoved his shoulder. “Fuck!” He blushed, matching me, I was sure of it.

“Sorry, Em.” Leland laughed.

“Please excuse that arsehole,” Caid said in one breath, his accent slight; definitely not thick and hard to understand like Leland’s.

Say something, Emery!
I sat there, frozen, unable to say a word. Likely looking like a complete idiot with a goofy grin on my face. I let myself get lost a little in that moment. In Caid’s eyes—which were definitely from the same bloodline as Leland’s. Just crisper, more twinkly, possibly undressing me at that very second.
I hoped
.

A sly smirk whispered across his lips as he pulled his lip between his teeth and grazed his flesh with those pearly whites. To add insult to injury—to ice the cake, so to speak, he ran his fingers through his hair.

I wanted to drag my teeth along his lip. I wanted to curl my fingers into his hair. Damnit, if he wasn’t a living, breathing version of Toby…without the suit and silky hands.

Unsure of how much time had passed since I sat there, gazing into the beauty of Caid Burke, I heard the familiar sound of sloshing and I turned my head to see Maggie refilling my glass. I didn’t even realize I had polished it off.

“I’m Caid…” He extended his hand, and I looked at it, hesitant to take it. It was dirty. Not like, full of germs and dirt-kind of dirty…it was a working man’s hand. It was tanned from the sun’s persistent and lucky kisses.

“I’m Emery,” I said, smiling. “I like your hands.”

Palm to face. Right now. I squinted my eyes closed, cursed myself for drinking again, and wearily opened them back up to see Caid still standing there, smiling at me.

“Thank you,
Emery
.” He said my name like it was made to roll off his tongue. And with the lick of his accent emphasizing the
M
, it sounded almost provocative. “I’m quite fond of them myself.”

“Sit down and have a drink with us, Caid!” Maggie chimed, giving me a little wink. The only empty chair at the table was right next to me.

Leland excused himself and walked behind the bar to pour some drinks for a group of older women that had sat down and started scanning the room. They locked their sights right on the reason my lungs weren’t able to hold a breath. Caid sat down beside me, stopping my heart with his scent. He smelled like smoke, manly musk, and a hint of cologne.

“So, Emery…are you always this quiet, or should I sit somewhere else?”

“No,” I said, feeling overwhelmed by his nearness and my ridiculous need to pull his mouth against mine.

“No, you’re not always this quiet, or no I shouldn’t sit somewhere else.”

“She’s never quiet,” Maggie said with a grin. “It’s you and your hotness.”

“Maggie!” I blurted. Forget how embarrassed I was when Leland asked me to snog his brother, now I’m completely mortified. I gave her a “you’re lucky you are on the other side of the table, and too far for me to slap” look.

Leland placed a tray full of shots on the table. “Sláinte!”

“Cheers,” Caid whispered.

Maggie, Ellie, Ben, Todd, and another guy from Maggie’s work, whose name I had forgotten, all reached and picked up a shot glass. I eyed them, hesitant to join, and questioning what was in the glass. The beer was already doing the talking for me, if I were going to add throw more wood on the fire, I needed to be sure it wasn’t going to blow up in my face.

“What is it, Leland?” I asked, trying to look past Caid, which was hard. I could see him staring right though me.

“’Bout ninety proof.” Leland chuckled and picked up a glass, slinging the alcohol down his throat. He let out a satisfied rasp, clearing his throat. “That’ll put hair on yer chest.”

“Exactly what I need, thank you!” Maggie tossed her head back and swallowed.

Ellie followed, along with every other person at the table, except for me and Caid. Who, was still watching me intently, holding a shot glass of his own.

With a raise of his delicious eyebrow, Caid smiled, pulling in a small dimple in on his cheek. My heart hammered—no, it
jack
hammered in my chest. I was pretty sure I was struggling to remain sane.

Closing his eyes, Caid threw his head back, along with the shot and pulled his lip between his teeth to lick what tiny remainder lingered. I wanted to lick it off for him. Damn, if I didn’t want to transform into the shot glass too that he casually ran his finger around the top of.

“Em,” Leland growled, winking at me.

“Peer pressure!” I laughed. “I really don’t think I have any extra time in the morning to trim the chest hair this is going to give me, but…” I smiled. “Why the hell not?” I leaned back, let it pour between my lips, and feeling it burn all the way down my throat.

Maggie and Ellie cheered, Leland pounded the table, and Caid leaned in to swipe his thumb across my lip. He did exactly what I wanted to do to him. Except when he pulled his thumb away, he stuck it right into his mouth and hummed, licking off the alcohol.

“Delicious,” he said deeply.

I could tell by the audible gasps around the table, that I wasn’t the only one gaping. No one said a word, for at least ten excruciating seconds, and I felt the crazy urge to get away from Caid before I did something really bold. Like rip all our clothes off and have him bend me over the table.

“Mags, Ellie…let’s dance.” I quickly stood up, almost knocking my chair over, and held out my hands to them. When they shared a quizzical look between one another, and didn’t take my offered hands, I waved mine indifferently. “Fine, I’ll dance alone.”

“I’ll dance with ya, Em!” Leland belted, and swung his arm around my shoulder.

The pub was filling fast, there was almost no room for any big movements on the small dance floor, and despite Leland’s attempted grace, I got stepped on by his big feet more than five times.

Maggie, Ellie, and the WW&W boys joined us, as I took a glance back to the table and noticed Caid wasn’t sitting there anymore. I didn’t see him on the dance floor either. Leland spun me around and I landed against a brick walled body.

“Sorry!” I said to the person I hit, turning to see their face.

“Don’t be,” Caid replied, his eyes hooded, gleaming…
wanting.

The shot hit me hard. It gave me pure liquid courage. “Dance with me,” I whispered, leaning on my toes to reach his ear. Smelling his skin…getting drunker by the second. “
Please
.”

Chapter Five

Thursday, July 4— 1:20 am

On a sudden impulse, I snaked my arms around Caid’s thick neck and pulled his body into mine. The perfect blend of hard and soft, crushed against the swell in my chest, and my breath hitched from the contact.

A groan, or a growl escaped his lips, and I felt his hands on my hips, his fingers skimming the small space of exposed skin between my shirt and my shorts. His thumbs left trails of blazing fire with each circling motion he made, and it felt like everyone else in the room faded away into the background.

“Emery,” he said my name again, in
that
way.

Causing me to lose all of my inhibitions and press myself harder into his body. “Caid,” I whispered, my mouth alongside his ear, my cheek brushing the stubble on his jaw. My fingers moved on their own accord, touching the hair at the back of his head, it was silken and exactly how I imagined it would be.

“Em,” Maggie’s voice pulled me from my daydream.

I glanced over, she was dancing with Leland.

“Feelin’ okay?”

I nodded, grinned, and looked back up into Caid’s eyes. He pulled me closer—if it were possible, and I gasped when I felt his hard ridge pressing against my stomach.

“You sure you’re okay, Emery?” Caid asked, leaning down to my ear, trailing his thumb up the back of my arm. “Do you need to sit down?”

The biggest, dirtiest part of me—the writer of smut, wanted to say
yes, on your face
. But, I didn’t. I knew it was the booze making me feel so wild, and it was a little scary. Matt and I didn’t even explore anything more than the occasional position change from missionary, spooning, or him from behind me. I’ve never felt a man beneath me. And how badly I wanted to give in to my buried personal fantasies and tell this man in my arms that I wanted to ride him well into next week.

I shook my head, and cursed under my breath when the music changed to another with a fast upbeat and it felt awkward just to stand and hold us in place. Maggie and Leland danced, Ellie ground herself into Daniel’s body, some other firefighters found a partner and danced…but Caid and I? We just stood there, like statues. I didn’t want to let him go. Maybe he didn’t want to either. Neither of us said a word.

I felt something building inside of me…I was going to be sick.

“I—I…gotta go!” I pulled from him, and pushed through the writhing bodies. My hands couldn’t turn the knob on the bathroom door quick enough, and as I staggered in, fell to my knees in front of the porcelain, and threw up until I began dry-heaving.

I prayed—so hard, that Caid wasn’t on the other side of the door, hearing what was going on. If he was…I wasn’t going to
ride
anything but the L after tonight.

“Em?” Maggie’s sweet and concerned voice flowed into the small bathroom, and I felt her hand on my shoulder. “Oh, babe…you’re wrecked.”

I spat into the toilet and groaned. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be…and don’t worry, he’s not outside the door. I told him I was going to check on you.”

I braced the toilet as I tried to stand. “Thanks, Maggie. I’m so embarrassed. How can I sneak out of here now? I don’t want him to see me.”

Maggie frowned and dampened a sheet of paper towel from the sink, wiping my forehead. “Here,” she said, handing it to me. “You have a little…”

I wiped my mouth. “Gross.”

“Yeah, well…you still look pretty doable.”

I laughed. “Leave it to me to ruin a good night. I was…”
Feeling pretty unpredictable out there.
“Was having a good time.”

“I could see that, little miss dance-floor.” Maggie stuck out her tongue at me.

“Emery?” Caid’s voice rumbled through the closed door, and I saw the knob almost turn. “You okay?”

“Go distract him, I need to get out of here.”

“I’ll be out front in two minutes, call us a cab. I’ll tell Ellie we’re leaving.” Maggie hugged me and opened the door wide enough to step out, but not to let Caid see me. “Hey, handsome…” I heard her say.

I pressed against the door, trying to hear what she was saying to him, but I couldn’t. The music was too loud, and my pulse throbbed so loudly in my head that it hurt to open my eyes.

Go!
Maggie’s text chimed in. And I opened the door, peaked out, and bolted for the exit.

***

Thursday, July 4
— 1:42 pm

“
Eat me
” was written on a small piece of pink paper with two tablets placed on it.

“
Drink me
” was written on another piece of pink paper, taped to a water bottle.

Both were placed on my nightstand, and I sat up and tossed the pills in my mouth. “Thank you, Mags.”

Stepping out into the living room, I found Maggie sprawled out on the couch, flipping channels on the TV.

“Hey, thanks for the pills. I really shouldn’t drink anymore.”

“No prob, Em. How are you feeling?” She asked, her brow crinkled from her frown.

“Not bad, actually. My head feels a little numb.” I plunked down beside her and leaned my head on the back of the couch. “I told him I liked his hands…”

Maggie giggled. “I remember, it was really funny…and really cute.”

“What do you know about him?” I asked, sinking deeper, getting more comfortable.

“Well, not much, actually. I’ve only ever seen him at Leland’s pub. From what I’ve heard, they both moved here a long time ago, Leland’s the older one—obviously, and Caid works for CFD. I can ask Ellie to dig up some dirt for ya.”

Laughing, I let out a long sigh. “No, it’s okay. I’m mortified. I acted like an idiot.”

“You acted like a young, carefree woman who let loose for once in her fucking life. You weren’t an idiot, you think he’s hot. Nothing wrong with that.”

“I wanted to have sex with him right there, Mags.”

“That wasn’t obvious…” Maggie smirked. “I’m pretty sure he was diggin’ you too, I have never once seen him dance with anyone. He always just sits and drinks with the guys.”

I let my mind wander a little, remembering how his strong hands felt on my body, the way his fingers and thumbs grazed over my skin like a hot poker fresh from the fire. I sucked in a deep breath and forced the thoughts away. “What’s the plan for today? What does Chicago do on the fourth of July?”

“Party. But, I seem to recall you telling me you weren’t going to drink again…”

“True ‘dat.” I grabbed the remote from Maggie’s hand and continued to flip through the channels.

“Leland always has a party after the fireworks…But, never mind.”

I stopped channel-surfing and turned to face her. “Here’s the deal. I’m limited. You can hold my hand if you want to, and my debit card. I am allowed
one
drink. Just one. And nothing that contains the word
proof.
Deal?”

Maggie laughed, stretched and got up from the couch. “Little Em wants a taste of the fire!” She skipped and sang melodically over to the fridge. “Little Em wants to get
burned!
”

Hell yeah I do.
“No, I don’t…”

“You’re a bad liar. And I love you. Too bad everything is closed today, because we need to find you something super-hot to wear.”

“Maybe Ellie has something…” I trailed off, thinking of the bouncy blonde and her risqué attire.

“You’re a fibber,
and
a genius. I’ll call her!” Maggie pulled out her phone and called Ellie in that instant, not reaching her but leaving a voicemail.

I laid on the couch, sprawled in the same manner Maggie had been, and settled on a channel playing
My Fair Lady
. It was one of my mom’s favorites. She loved Audrey Hepburn. I remember sitting and watching this with her countless times as a small girl.

“The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plane,” I whispered. “I want that…” I said louder, pointing to the screen, watching Eliza get whisked all around the ballroom. “I want to dance all night.”

“You want that? Really? And here I was thinking you just wanted a good pounding.”

“Maggie, you’re uncouth, and gorgeous, and the bestest friend in the world. I love you so much, because you think you know me oh-so-very-well. But, yes, I want that.”
And a good pounding, of course.

“Bestest? Pretty sure that’s not a word, Miss Author.”

“Better not tell my editor.”

With a smile, a quick sip from the milk carton and a swish of her hips, Maggie skipped down the short hallway, answering her cellphone. “Ellie! Guess what! ...”

I faded back to Audrey and Rex. Mouthing the memorable movie quotes quietly to myself. Tears threatened to fall as I did. As Henry began his solo “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face”, the tears broke through the barrier and I cried. No, I sobbed.

“
I’ve grown accustomed to your face, my sweet Emery Grace. Absolutely accustomed
,” recalling what my mom had sung to me, with her own lyrics. “
Whoever looks into your eyes, at your face, will become absolutely accustomed, Emery Grace. Accustomed to your face.
”

Before my heart completely shattered, and Maggie caught wind of my silly sobbing, I shut the TV off and locked myself in the bathroom. I turned on the shower, unsure if I was even going to get into it.

The shower did me a little good, it steamed the sadness right out of my pores, and I told myself I wasn’t going to cry anymore. My mom wouldn’t want to me to. She would have told me to smile instead, to think of all the good memories we had together. God knows there were about a million of those. Shaking my hands at my sides, flinging my worries out of my fingertips, I stepped out of my bedroom to find Maggie and Ellie standing in the kitchen.

“There she is!” Ellie beamed.

I smiled, then noticed the large duffle bag near her feet. “Are we going to bury a body later?”

“Well, not in so many words…” Maggie moved toward me, grabbed my hands and dragged me into the kitchen. “Say goodbye to Emery Morgan. This bag contains the revamped Emery Finn.”

Clothing littered the space, and before I knew it I was finding myself in my own personal episode of
What Not to Wear
.

“I think this is the one!” Ellie squealed.

I opened my eyes and stared back at my reflection. “It looks like a table cloth.”

“Emery! It’s so chic! An empire, showing just enough boob, and the belt looks cute around your waist.”

Maggie nodded her head in agreement.

“I don’t know…” I stared down at the red and white printed pattern. I pulled at the hem. “It’s a little short, too.”

“Your ass isn’t hanging out, Emery. Plus, you’ll have on underwear.” Ellie lifted the hem, exposing my panties. “Of which, by the way, are no longer going to be granny panties! Are we clear?”

Maggie covered her face and laughed. Which triggered my own, along with Ellie’s.

“You’re both so mean! So what…granny panties are comfortable!” I laughed until my stomach hurt.

“So are footed pajamas, but you’re not going to pick up Caid wearing those.” Maggie wrapped her arms around me from behind and squeezed me. “Ellie, do you think he’ll be there tonight?”

“I think so, I don’t know why he wouldn’t. They always are…Plus, Daniel said something about Leland bringing in a band this year. It’s going to be awesome,” Ellie said, leaning into the mirror to check out her mascara.

***

Thursday, July 4
— 9:57 pm

Chicago’s Navy Pier was the center of the Fourth celebration. I was told this was the place to be in all the city tonight. Watching the fireworks explode over Lake Michigan was something I wasn’t really prepared for until they started going off. They beat little Belleville’s annual show hands down. I mean…
wow
. I could feel the cannon release and boom of each explosion through my chest, and I felt like a little kid staring up in amazement, mentally guessing which color was going to burst in the dark night sky next.

“Wow!” I shouted. “That’s beautiful!”

Maggie and Ellie stood on either side of me, watching in awe, mouths open just like mine. We didn’t sit on an old blanket with chicken and salad, but we did stop at KFC to eat before we came. So it was a little like old times, for me nonetheless.

As the end drew near, the crowd began to diminish as parents with tired or whining children left, leaving the space still with thousands, feeling a little less claustrophobic.

“Don’t be mad but,” Ellie whispered in my ear. “I told Daniel we were here. He’s with Caid.”

My knees almost buckled at the mention of his name. Instantly regretting wearing this dress, I looked down at my feet. “Shit,” I whispered.

If her secret didn’t almost drop me, the instant tell-tale feeling of someone watching you, made my legs turn to jelly. Without turning my body, I looked over my shoulder and felt his eyes on me. He stood about ten feet behind us, with Daniel, and began to move toward us. Stalking me. No CFD shirt this time. Instead he was wearing a red Under Armor shirt without sleeves and a ridiculously perfect pair of faded jeans.