Fraser 03 - Highland Homecoming (7 page)

An ear-piercing scream disturbed his slumber and Alasdair jolted up with a start. Wasting no time, he climbed to his feet and raced to the pallet.

She tossed in a fitful sleep. Sweat misted her furrowed brow, tears ran down her cheeks, and she mumbled something in Gaelic.

“Ut! Tapadh leat. Nay . . . chan eil mi.”

These were the same words she was shouting in her delirium the first night he’d found her. She begged someone to stop and said she would not do it. Again he questioned. Do what?

She thrashed beneath the pelts, her breathing now coming in sharp pants. As he was about to wake her, she screamed again and shot up in bed. He reacted on impulse, took her in his arms, and hauled her against his chest.

“Shhh. You’re safe, lass. You had a bad dream is all.”

She clung to his arm, her nails digging into flesh. Her entire body trembled. “Please dinna let go,” she sobbed.

He continued the embrace until she stopped shaking and her breathing slowed to a normal rhythm. “Are you all right? Do you want tae tell me about the dream?”

She hiccupped and sniffled. “It was a nightmare, not a dream. I was in my chamber, asleep, when I felt hands touching my shoulders and heard a man’s raspy voice. He told me not tae call out, that he’d admired me from afar for many summer, and meant to make me his own.” She clung to his arm even tighter.

“I told him nay, begged him tae stop, but he tried to slide his hand beneath my nightrail. He said if I dinna do as he ordered and allow him to bed me, he’d kill me. He held a dirk tae my throat and told me tae lay still.”

Rage roiled in Alasdair’s belly and every muscle in his body coiled with tension. The thought that a scoundrel would dare to enter her chamber and try to take her innocence infuriated him. He fought the urge to express his outrage. He didn’t want to frighten her any further. “Did you recognize the man?”

“The room was dark and I dinna see his face, but his voice was familiar. I was not about tae let him have his way and we struggled. I grabbed the dagger and in my attempt to break free, I stabbed him. He fell to the floor and I got out of the room as fast as I could. The next thing I knew, I was on the deck of a ship. A storm was raging and I was certain a wave would sweep me over the side.”

“Where was the blackguard who attacked you? Were there no others on board to offer their assistance?”

“Nay, the storm was fierce and anyone on deck was busy with the rigging or trying tae keep the ship from capsizing.” She paused and took in a gulp of air. “Then I saw him. He was holding his side and cursing. When he came at me with the dirk in his hand, I panicked. I let go of the rail, prepared tae run, but the vessel pitched and I fell over the side.”

He continued to hold her and gently stroked her hair. “You must have been terrified. It was a miracle you dinna drown.”

“I was certain I would, but fought tae reach the surface. I remember the fog and searching for the ship. I was so cold, I couldna feel my legs and my arms grew so verra tired. There was a break in the clouds and the ship was upon me. I must have hit my head on the hull.”

“Do you know why you were on the vessel or where you were going?” He eased back and gently lifted her chin.

“I dinna know how I came tae be onboard or why. Just that the man tried tae rape me. I wish I could remember.” She began to tremble again.

“It dinna matter. You have enough tae deal with right now. Trying tae force your memory tae return willna help. It will all come back in time.” He brought her onto his lap, cradled her in his arms, and rocked her back and forth.

“I’m not sure I want tae remember,” she sobbed, then buried her face against his chest.

He’d forgotten he was naked. When he heard her call out, the only thing on his mind was getting to her side, and he had not paused to pull on his trews. His body responded to her soft round bottom resting on his thighs, so he eased her onto the mattress, and tried to stand up, but not before grabbing a plaid and wrapping it around his hips. “Mayhap you should try tae get some sleep. We can talk about this in the morning.” He tried to ease her back against mattress, but she struggled to remain upright. “Lay down, Lauren. I will return to my spot before the hearth, but am close by if you need me.”

She clung to his arm and peered up at him with hazel eyes that melted his heart. “Please. I dinna want tae be alone. I fear the nightmare will return. Stay with me. I beg of you.”

He swallowed hard against the knot in his throat. She was so frightened, how could he deny her this request? He raised the pelt and lay down.

She immediately snuggled up beside him, her head on his chest, her hand resting over his heart. Could she feel the way it thundered against his ribs, like a monster clawing to get out?

She closed her eyes. Thick dark lashes rested on pale cheeks and her soft pink lips were drawn into a tight bow. Oh, how he wanted to kiss her. Just once and he’d be satisfied. Or would he? She stirred and when her thigh rubbed against his rigid manhood, he stifled the urge to groan aloud.

She opened her eyes and peered up at him. “Thank you for staying with me.”

Alasdair couldn’t speak. In the soft glow of the firelight she looked like an angel. He lowered his head and brushed her brow with his lips. When she tilted her head back, he captured her mouth in an all-encompassing kiss.

Chapter 7

An onslaught of desire threatened to override Alasdair’s good sense. He fought the urge to plunder Lauren’s sweet mouth with his tongue, to lift her nightrail, to make her his own.

He broke their kiss and raised his head, knowing if he didn’t stop himself now, he might not be able to harness the unbridled passion heating his blood.

“Forgive me.” He forced the words out on a strangled breath. He swept an errant wisp of hair from her brow and locked his gaze with the wide, hazel eyes of a woman obviously shocked by his impulsive actions.

He cupped her chin, stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb, then brushed it across her lips. “I dinna mean tae make inappropriate advances or tae take liberties. I—”

She pressed two fingers to his mouth, silencing him. “You have no reason tae apologize. I appreciate you staying with me, Alasdair. After my nightmare, I canna bear tae sleep alone.”

This was the first time she’d used his name, and it sounded as melodic as the Celtic lullabies his mother used to sing. At a loss for words, he stared back at her and smiled, but inside, his stomach churned in turmoil.

What to do?

He’d rather be drawn and quartered than remain on the pallet with her lush, shapely body pressed against his side, and not sate his carnal needs.

She’d begged him to stay, so why shouldn’t he take her? But she also trusted him enough to seek safety in his arms. He could not betray that trust.

In the past, paying women to warm his bed had served him well. There was never any worry about commitments or the fear of being turned away, but the acts lacked passion and were devoid of sentiment. Lauren was different from the tavern wenches he’d bedded. Not only was she stunning, she was intelligent, tenacious, and brave. All qualities he admired.

Bombarded with an array of emotions he’d never felt before, he wanted to bed her, to take his time and explore every curve of her figure, to memorize the delicate details of her beautiful face, and to bring her to the heights of ecstasy over and over. He wanted to pump into her with wild abandon until she shouted out his name in pleasure, and he joined her in release. Yet, if he gave into temptation, he knew he wouldn’t be able to walk away.

While he might be war weary and longing for peace, he’d not forsake his duty. Nor would he let desire cloud his judgement.

He believed the Almighty had spared his life when he was a babe for a reason. He’d defied the odds of survival at birth, overcame illness as a bairn, and had grown to a strong, healthy man. His destiny was to fight for the Scottish cause. He’d seen his share of horror over the last few years, countless battles, destruction, and senseless loss of life. To hang up his sword and targe, to settle down in a croft by the sea, and become a fisherman was a tempting thought. But he’d sworn his fealty to the Scottish King and vowed to avenge the deaths of his kin.

The Almighty was testing his resolve, of that he was certain. Why else would the Lord place her in his care? He didn’t trust women and had vowed never to marry. But he’d also never spent so many days and hours in such close proximity with a lass. He’d gone out of his way to avoid contact with women. Especially ones as beguiling as Lauren. That way, he could not be rejected or disappointed.

In a moment of weakness, he’d stolen a kiss, but vowed that was as far as he’d allow his desires to go. Frightened and vulnerable, she’d invited him to share her pallet. But she did so seeking comfort, not because she wanted him to bed her. He’d not take advantage of that fact.

For a sennight, he’d fought the undeniable and rapidly growing attraction to the feisty lass. Lauren was everything a man could want in a woman and more, but she was not for him and never would be. Besides, he didn’t know anything about her past and his own future was questionable at best. Even if he learned for certain she was not already married and she’d have him, he’d not take her maidenhead if they were not wed.

While some men had no issue with ruining a lass in order to satisfy their own selfish pleasure, he had no intention of taking her innocence, or of fathering a bairn he’d not be there to raise. Once he’d seen her to Sinclair Castle, he’d leave her in Jayden’s trustworthy hands, and rejoin Robert. There was still time before the Bruce planned to confront the MacDougalls and MacCanns, but to stay with Lauren so near, or worse, to see her husband come for her, would be a crushing blow he did not wish to endure.

She snuggled at his side and he watched her sleep. He’d never tire of looking at her beautiful face. She stirred and when her thigh rubbed against his rigid manhood, he stifled the urge to groan aloud and cursed beneath his breath. Being an honorable man was certainly not all it was said to be. Mayhap he was a fool after all.

Lauren brought her hand up and covered her mouth, stifling a yawn. She opened heavy-lidded eyes and glanced around the dimly lit croft.

Alasdair was no longer on the pallet beside her and he was not asleep on the pelt before the hearth. She sat up when she heard the unmistakable creak of the rusty hinges on the door. “Where are you going? The sun has yet tae rise.”

“I’ve need of a swim and then I am going hunting for grouse. I’ll return this afternoon. I left a tankard of water and some oatcakes on the table beside the bed.”

Before she could respond, the door closed. Alasdair was gone. She lay back on the pallet and brought her fingers to her lips. If she closed her eyes, she could picture his face nearing hers, just before he captured her mouth.

His breath was sweet and tasted of fennel. Although he’d shaved, the rasp of fine stubble had grazed her chin. Her stomach gave a tug and her heart fluttered. She liked kissing him and the way it made her feel all warm and tingly inside.

The recurring dreams about the events on the ship got more vivid and frightening each time she had one. The last nightmare had terrified her so much, she’d asked Alasdair to share her bed, a foolish act that could have had serious repercussions. Given her request and her enthusiastic response to his kiss, he might have mistaken her need for solace as an invitation to bed her.

Would that have been so terrible?

She had grown fond of him these last few days and found him quite attractive, despite his low opinion of himself. He’d saved her life and cared for her injuries when he could have chosen to leave her to fend for herself. From what she knew of him, he came from a respectable clan and had proved himself an honorable man by showing her nothing but respect.

She slammed her balled fist on the pallet. She knew many things about Alasdair, but she had no memory of her own past, aside from being attacked on the ship. She was not in a position to offer herself freely to any man.

Lauren sighed, then slid to the edge of the pallet and sat up. She’d been abed long enough. She nibbled on a dry oatcake and washed it down with a few sips of water. While she appreciated Alasdair’s culinary attempts, she’d grown tired of the same bland fare and no doubt he had as well.

She spotted the walking stick he’d carved for her beside the pallet and snatched it up. He’d been so kind, the least she could do while he was away today was to make some bannock and mayhap some sweet rolls as a way of saying thank you.

Using the carved shaft for support, she rose to a wobbly stance, then made her way to the hearth. She gathered the ingredients she needed from the larder and set them on the table before sitting down and getting to work.

While her injured ankle made it difficult to move around the croft with ease, she managed quite well with the walking stick. She was getting stronger everyday. Soon she’d be able to leave. The thought of never seeing Alasdair again caused her heart to clench. But she could not risk accompanying him to Sinclair Castle.

Alasdair might be angry when he discovered she’d left, but then again, he might be relieved. Aside from one brief, but passionate kiss, he had shown no interest in pursuing her on an intimate level. The fact that he’d not tried to take things any farther when the opportunity presented itself, along with constantly making it clear he wanted to leave as soon as she was able, proved he had no plans for a future that included her. Best she put aside any foolish notions about Alasdair Fraser, and concentrate on her plans to escape as soon as she was strong enough. That is, if she could figure out where to go.

After she finished baking, had dusted, and tidied the room, she returned to the pallet for a nap. Weary from overtaxing herself, she slid beneath the covers and fell asleep.

“How dare you betray my father? He trusted you with my safety when he sent you tae bring me home. When I tell him you attacked me, he’ll have you beheaded.” She stood with her back against the wall and glared at the man as he stepped from the shadows and approached with a dirk in his hand.

He reeked of whisky and it was evident by the way he staggered and slurred his words, he was well in his cups. In the past, she’d caught him watching her, but never for a moment believed he’d had indecent thoughts, or would try to force himself upon her.

“You’ve had too much tae drink and are not thinking clearly. Once you are no longer intoxicated, you will see this is wrong. Go back tae your cabin and we willna speak of this again.” She tried to reason with him, but could tell by the scowl on his face, he was not about to back down.

“I have served your father since before you were born and he views me as a friend and advisor. Who do you think he will believe? You or me? Especially if I deny your claim and tell him you are the one who entered my bedchamber.” He threw back his head and laughed. “Do you think he’d send me tae fetch you home if he thought for a moment you’d be in any danger?”

“You canna think this deed will go unpunished.”

“It doesna matter. Once I have had my fill, I can always toss you overboard and tell your father you drown. A shame about the storm. I dove in and tried tae save you, but, alas, I failed, nearly losing my own life in the attempt.” He shrugged and laughed. “Let’s stop playing games and get down tae satisfying my needs.” He turned the dagger in his hand then grabbed the crotch of his trews.

“I dinna find you appealing in any way and you willna touch me.” She fought to keep the tremor in her voice under control. She’d not show her fear. She spotted the sword hanging on the wall above the brassier. If only she could reach it. One thing her father had insisted upon was that she learn to defend herself. She excelled at many of the tasks usually associated with men, and could challenge any man with a blade when on equal ground.

“My father has promised me in marriage tae another. Do you think he’d allow you tae dishonor me and disgrace the clan?”

“Your father is a fool. And if you’re dead, how will he know? Why he has offered your hand tae Laird Sutherland is beyond me. The man is a barbarian and I would have been a much better choice.”

“You hold no title or land. While I dinna wish tae marry Laird Sutherland and mean tae take up this issue with my da when we arrive on the mainland, I certainly have no desire tae become your bride and willna willingly enter your bed.”

He closed the gap between them. “You have always been a feisty lass, something I have thought a good lashing would cure.” He lunged forward and she grabbed for the dirk, but he outweighed her by almost one hundred pounds, and she was no match for his strength. Despite the uneven odds, she continued to struggle. She’d not give in without a fight.

Using the bulk of his body, he trapped her against the wall, her hands at her side. When he licked her neck and cheek, revulsion skittered down her spine and she thought she might vomit.

She tried to break free, but he refused to budge. Certain she was about to lose the battle, she felt another dirk at his side and slid it from the sheath. Without hesitation, she plunged it into his side. He yelled out in pain, staggered backward, then dropped to his knees.

She chastised herself for not taking better aim. A little higher and she’d have struck his heart, but had to act when she could. While the blow was not enough to kill the blackguard, it did give her a chance to escape. Without looking back, she raced from her chamber, up the steep wooden staircase, and onto the rain-soaked deck.

Gasping for breath, Lauren shot up in bed. She’d been attacked by her father’s advisor, a man she’d called uncle and trusted with her life. While she still could not remember her name, she did recall she was on her way to be married to the laird of another clan. More than likely to end a feud or to gain her father land and wealth.

Now, more than ever, she needed to get away. If Alasdair took her to Sinclair Castle and they recognized her, she’d be sent home to her father, and forced to marry a man she dinna love. What was worse, she’d have to face the man who’d tried to rape her and attempt to convince her father of his deception.

Both options were unappealing, and she refused to be put in that position.
But what if Callum was right?
When she told her
father of the attack would he chose to believe his friend and call her a whore?
She shuddered at the thought.

The door opened and Alasdair entered. He carried a pair of grouse in one hand and a bouquet of heather in the other.

“I see you had another good day of hunting,” she said as he totted the game and flowers across the croft, then set them on the table. “Are those for me?” She smiled and slid to the edge of the pallet.

He held up a fistful of fragrant purple blossoms. “I thought they might help tae freshen the air and add a wee bit of color tae the room.”

“They’re lovely.

He glanced at the hearth and a broad grin crossed his face. “I see someone has been busy. You baked these?” He tore off a piece of bannock and popped it in his mouth. He lifted the lid on a pot simmering over the fire, dipped in a ladle, then tasted the contents. “This soup is verra good. Have you grown tired of my cooking already?”

“Nay, but I thought you might enjoy a wee bit of a change. And I wanted tae show my appreciation for the fine care you’ve given me.” She grabbed her walking stick and struggled to stand.

He was at her side in an instant. “Let me help you. Judging by how clean everything is and this fine food, I have no doubt you’ve overtaxed yourself. You must be exhausted.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and drew her against his side. “Can you walk, or would you like me tae carry you?”