Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three) (32 page)

“So tell me…,” he murmured, anxious and in need of knowing if they were going to have a baby.

“Tell you what?”

“Are you?”

As Quinn smiled, more tears spilled down her pale face. “Yes. The clinic had a few tests. I couldn’t wait to find out.”

“Oh, love…” He slowly wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into him. He held onto her and wasn’t about to let go. “I love you so much. You have no idea how happy you’ve made me.”

“I love you more.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, then placed his hand on her stomach. “I love this little bean already,” he murmured. They smiled and held each other in a loving embrace. “As much as I hate to break this up, I think my bladder is on the verge of exploding.”

Quinn laughed and helped him stand. Staying close, she watched Gunther stagger to the bathroom like a drunk. After shutting the door for him, a groan came through the door.

“You okay in there?”

“Fuck, yeah. Just feels bloody good to take a piss.”

She laughed. “When you’re done, we’ll get you washed up.”

Feeling stronger, Gunther pulled open the door, naked as the day he was born. “I’m ready.” He wiggled his brows at her. She laughed and slapped his arm. “What?”

“I’ve missed you so much,” she said, reaching out to hug him again. He was happy to hold her, even if she was clothed. “I was so scared, Gun. So fucking scared I was going to lose you after your dream is finally coming true. I cried the entire time.”

He hated that he made her upset and scared her. “I’m so sorry, love. I will do better at feeding my need.”

“Please… We need you.” Gunther leaned down and kissed Quinn. He let out a soft groan, but she pulled away. “Nope. You need to behave for a while. Let’s get you washed up and changed. Then we can get you a bite to eat.”

He grumbled, but listened—not that he wanted to. What he really wanted to do was show her his appreciation for her attentiveness while he was out for the count.

I walked into the cafeteria and dropped into a chair next to Elaina. I took off my hat and rubbed my eyes. I was wiped out from the past two weeks of worry and leadership without Gunther at my side. Gazing over at Elaina, she was reading yet another book from the library.

“
Little House on the Prairie
?” I snickered.

“Don’t you dare laugh at my choices. Better than not reading at all,” she chided.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I muttered, then leaned in close to her. “Gunther’s awake.”

She fumbled with the book before closing it and setting it on the table. “He is?”

“Yeah. When I was on my way to hit the bag, Quinn came sprinting out of their room and grabbed me. It took him a little while to get adjusted, but when I left, he was really starting to come around.”

“That’s really awesome. Did you tell him about…?” She pushed her chin toward James.

“Nope.”

“You might want to.”

“That’s on her. I told her that from the get-go.”

“Henry, he’s going to flip.”

“Well, it was his pregnant, soon-to-be wife who convinced me to let them stay.”

Elaina sighed. As she has told me before, she didn’t want any more fighting. Then she looked at Jane and her family. When Elaina made eye contact and saw Jane got up, she cursed under her breath.

As she walked up, Elaina’s body stiffened and the sudden urge to throat punch someone was blatant in her body language. Feeling Elaina’s tension, I touched her leg under the table.

Jane seemed a little frightened to approach. “Uhh…hi.”

“Sit,” I commanded, squeezing Elaina’s leg to stop her from getting up and running as Jane lowered herself into a chair across from us. “What can I do for you?”

“Mara wants to help get water. I think one of you said something about a well about fifteen miles back, but I can’t remember exactly.”

“There is.”

“We want to make amends, but we can’t unless you let us help around here. Mara is eager.”

I looked at Elaina as she shifted around in her chair. When I released the grip on her leg, she got up and left. I watched her stalk out of the cafeteria. “I need you to be sensitive to Elaina. You have no idea what she has been going through.”

“I’ve lost people, too, in case you missed it!”

In a split second, rage tore through me. I slammed my fist on the table. “Shut your bloody mouth, or you will find yourself on your own outside the protection of these walls. Don’t you
dare
start with me. You are clueless. All of this started on our wedding day which, in turn, never happened. On top of countless friends and family perishing at the wedding, she had to kill her father, and watched her mother, best friend, niece, and now her brother die. Plus, she has to deal with my bullshit on a daily basis.”

“And just what kind of bullshit is that exactly?”

“I’m a recovering alcoholic. I haven’t been easy to deal with. Plus, there are a lot of other things you just wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“None of your concern.” I glared at her with fire in my eyes and Jane crossed her arms. “If she wants to get water, then yes, by all means, but she can’t do it on her own. We have too many people here now.”

“Then pick some others to go with her.” I looked around at everyone. “What about Gunther?”

“What about him?” We had been keeping his issues under wraps. If people asked, we just said he was sick and we wanted to keep him away from everyone else.

“Send him. He’s strong.”

“As you know, he has been sick. He’s feeling better now, but he’s still too weak to walk the distance and lug water back.” I looked around at the people again. “I’ll be back in a bit. Hang tight.”

I stood and jogged off to Quinn and Gunther’s room, softly knocking on the door, hoping not to disturb him if he was resting. When Quinn opened the door, I was met with happy eyes, something I hadn’t seen on her in a while.

“Hey. How’s he doing?”

She smiled. “Good. I told him.”

“And?”

“He’s so happy. It’s something he truly wants.”

“That’s wonderful. I’m pleased for the both of you. Can I speak to you alone for just a sec?”

Quinn glanced over her shoulder at Gunther sitting in the chair, sipping on a bottle of water. She stepped out, the door closing behind her with a quiet click. “What’s going on?”

I sighed. “Jane and her family want to prove their worth. Mara wants to go get water, but she obviously can’t get what we need on her own. How do you feel about sending Josie?”

“No way. You aren’t sending her anywhere where Gunther or I can’t protect her.” With a grumble, I pulled off my ball cap and rubbed the top of my head with the edge of the rim. “Henry, would you send your daughter out into the unknown?”

“All right. I feel you.” I started to walk away.

“Henry…” I kept walking. “Shit. Henry!” Quinn chased me down the hall until she caught up to me. “I just can’t.”

“I understand.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

I grabbed her arm and dragged her into Nick’s room, which was still unoccupied but full of his belongings. “I don’t know what to do. With him down and unable to do anything… Fuck me. I’ll go. I’m going to have Elaina, Josie, and Thomas keep watch. Is that okay? Can she at least help keep watch?”

“Yeah. I’ll help, as well.”

“No fucking way. If he finds out I asked you to stand guard, he will freak out and come after me. I’m not in the mood to get into a physical altercation with someone I’ve patched things up with. Believe me when I say that he’s going to treat you like fine china.”

“I’m not, though.”

“I know that, but trust me on this. You’ll be lucky to get out of bed without him making you lie back down.”

“Why do you think he will be like that?”

“Because that’s how I would be with Elaina if she were pregnant. One and the same.” Quinn nodded. “I’ve got to run.”

I bolted out of Nick’s room and barged into ours. Elaina was lost in thought, staring blankly out of a window from where she had peeled back one piece of paper. I was glad she couldn’t see the gravesites from our room or we would’ve had to move.

“Love, are you all right?” I walked up to her, wrapping my arms around her from behind.

“Yeah. I’m just thinking about stuff.”

I nestled my face into her hair. She smelled amazing to me. “You want to talk about anything?”

“No.” She turned and faced me.

“I’m going to go get water. I need you, Thomas, and Josie to stand guard.”

“What?! Why are you going?”

“Who else am I going to send with Mara?”

“Mara? You aren’t leaving with those assholes,” she growled.

“Elaina, please. I can’t do this shit with you for the rest of my life. I need you to cooperate once in a while.”

“I’m sorry.” She hung her head. “You’re right. Why do I have to do this to you all the time? No wonder you are always stressed.”

“It’s not just you. You don’t cause all of my stress…just most of it.” I tapped her on the nose with my finger and smiled. She stuck her tongue out at me and giggled. “I’m going to take Mara, Eli, and a couple of the others.”

“Take your rifle.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I casually saluted, making her smile. I pulled her into my body and kissed her softly. “Maybe later?”

“Maybe…if you’re back before I need to sleep.”

“I’ll wake you up,” I murmured against her neck, kissing my way up to her ear. “Best alarm clock ever.” My voice hummed off her skin.

“Why must you do this to me? You know how much I love it and can’t resist you.” I chuckled evilly, my lips pressed to Elaina’s neck. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” I continued kissing her neck and her collarbone, my hands gently exploring her breasts.

“Henry… Henry, stop.”

“I don’t want to.” I was breathless. “Let me have you now.” I pressed my hips into Elaina while I gripped onto her meaty ass. I was hardening by the second. “Just give me ten minutes. I’ll make it worth your while,” I said as I traced my tongue up her neck and nipped her earlobe.

“No… Stop,” she whimpered.

I stepped back and sighed. “What is so bloody pressing that I can’t have a few minutes to worship your gorgeous body?” I glared at Elaina, a tent in my shorts.

“Have you wondered why we haven’t gotten pregnant yet?”

“No. It never really occurred to me.” Then I glanced at Elaina. “You want to try for a baby?”

“No, not right now. I mean… If it happens, I would be happy. With the amount of unprotected sex we have, I just think it’s weird we haven’t even had one scare yet.”

“Maybe I’m shooting blanks.” I chuckled a little.

“That’s not even funny. Eventually, I
do
want little Henrys running around.”

“I’m not so sure you want that.” I laughed and smiled. Elaina frowned and crossed her arms. I put my hands on her shoulders. “Love… I’m sure when the time is right for us, it will happen. Maybe someone upstairs is just waiting to make sure I can handle life and stay sober.” She had no reply, so I hugged her. “I’m going to load up.”

“Sometimes I hate that you’re the captain of this ship. You being so stressed worries me, having to put all of your energy into keeping it all together. I worry how it will affect your sobriety.”

“I know, love. I understand. I’m taking on a lot. But…it feels right. It’s stressful and I don’t necessarily handle it the right way all the time, but I feel like I have a purpose. By helping people, I’m helping myself.”

“Henry, I’m so proud of you.” She rose to her tiptoes and kissed me on the cheek.

“Thank you,” I said, touching the spot where her lips were.

After I changed into my cargoes, I headed to the door. “Take your pack.” I grabbed it as I left the room. “Love you!” she yelled as I walked out the door.

“Ditto,” I said, closing the door behind me.

I went to the weapons room and loaded up my vest, pulling a zip-up hoodie on over that. After adding a few other incidentals to my pack, I put that on, as well. Picking up an additional Sig, I checked for a full clip, then tucked it in the back of my pants. I grabbed one last thing…the fully automatic assault rifle.

It all seemed normal to me to have possession of and to know everything about all those weapons. It never occurred to me someone might think I looked like an assassin. I chuckled a little as I left the room, making sure to lock the door. Stopping back at our room, I tossed the keys at Elaina.

“Love you,” I murmured. She blew me a kiss. I smiled and left.

I passed both Thomas and Josie in the hall. While filling them in about guard duty, a loud commotion came from the cafeteria. I bolted in there.

Quinn was holding Gunther back from James.

Quinn had finally convinced Gunther to go to the cafeteria for something eat. He claimed he wasn’t really hungry, but she said she would stuff something down his throat if he refused. She was the only person who could muscle Gunther like that and get away with it.

As soon as they walked into the room, Quinn stiffened. She had forgotten about James. He felt her reaction and glanced up, eyes narrowing. “Let’s just go back. I’ll bring you something to the room,” she said, panicking.

“You have
got
to be fucking kidding me right now!” Gunther took off, running toward James.

“Gunther!” Quinn screamed as she ran behind him. When Gunther reached him, he grabbed him by the throat and threw him against the wall. “Gunther! Stop!” Quinn yanked on the arm crushing James’ throat.

I stormed into the cafeteria. “Goddamn it!” I yelled, my rage taking over. “Get back!” I shoved Gunther back. “You!” I pointed at James. “Sit your ass down and do not say a word. Damn it! I leave for ten minutes and get greeted with this shit! Do I need to hire a fucking babysitter for you two?”

“Why the fuck is he still here?!” Gunther bellowed back.

“Ask your soon-to-be wife.” I turned and faced Quinn. “And why did you even bring him down here?”

“I-I-I didn’t think,” Quinn stammered. “I’m sorry.”

“Go back to your room. Fuck me.” Quinn grabbed Gunther’s arm and tugged him toward the door.

“Why the fuck is he still here, Quinn?” he growled as they headed out.

“Not now, please. We’ll talk about it later.”

Once they left, I turned to James. “I have shit to do! I can’t even trust you to stay calm? I don’t have time for this bullshit!”

“I didn’t do anything! He just stormed in here and attacked me!”

“I don’t give a fuck what happened! Guess what? You just volunteered to go with me, Mara, Eli, and…you. What’s your name?”

“Josiah.”

“Josiah. You look like an able-bodied lad. You ready to carry some water?”

“I guess.”

“It’s a yes or no answer!” I yelled through my clenched jaw.

“Yes,” he mumbled.

I stormed up to him and grabbed the front of his shirt. “Don’t fuck with me, kid. You have no idea of what I’m capable! All of you get your shit together. Meet me back here in less than five. I don’t want to have to come and get you! Put on your walking shoes.”

There was a gentle tap on my shoulder. “Excuse me…”

“What!?” Still seething, I whipped around. Savannah. She looked terribly frightened.
Good.
Realizing I was in program mode, I took a couple deep breaths. Normally, Elaina would bring me back, but she wasn’t there at the moment. I took a few more deep breaths in an effort to push it back. “Sorry. What do you need?”

“Please watch Josiah carefully. He’s my little brother and it would kill me if anything happened to him.”

“As long as everyone stays in line, I will protect them. I’m not out to hurt anyone.” I walked away from Savannah to get the larger bottles for the water. Luckily for me, she followed.

“Why are you such an arrogant prick sometimes?” I stopped at the open pantry door. “You really should be a little nicer to people. Then maybe they would respect you a tad bit more.”

Elaina stepped into the cafeteria, armed and ready for guard duty, as Savannah was barking at me. She approached from behind.

“Hello? Hi. Excuse me,” Elaina said with a giant smile as she stepped in front of Savannah. “I come in here to go on guard duty, because I actually work around here instead of playing with my hair and giving blow jobs to some scrawny, wannabe man, and I hear you talking shit to Henry? Would you care to elaborate what your issue is with him?”

“I just want to know why he acts so high and mighty. He’s the same as the rest of us.”

“Actually, he isn’t. He’s our leader. If you don’t like his ethics, there’s the door, sweetheart. Or I can show your prissy, Barbie ass out myself. How about that?” I almost cracked up. My love… She knew how to get her point across.

“We’re good people,” Savannah growled.

“I never said you weren’t.”

“There is no need to be a tyrant.”

“You’re clueless,” Elaina snarled. “He has to make sure everyone here is safe. All of your lives rest upon his shoulders day in and day out.”

“I can take care of myself.”

That made me laugh. “Oh god. That’s a good one.” I kept laughing and turned around to finish collecting the bottles.

“Screw you!” Savannah yelled at me.

“I’m good, thanks.” I waved her off. “My Elaina takes care of me
very
well.”

“Ugh! Pig,” Savannah grumbled as she stormed away.

“Uptight bitch,” Elaina sneered and picked up a couple of the empty bottles.

Waiting just outside the door were James, Mara, Eli, and Josiah. Thomas and Josie were waiting for instruction.

Continuously moving further and further away from Josiah, Josie was standing off to the side. He smiled and waved at her, but she turned away from him. He looked a little dejected. For a moment, I wondered what was going on with those two.

Not my problem. I had enough to deal with.

“Thomas, you take the side door. Josie, I want you in the hallway near Cora’s room. Elaina, hang out in here to keep an eye on the front. We’ll be gone for a while and may not be back until tomorrow.”

“Why can’t we take one of those trucks?” James asked.

Patting my pockets, I said, “Well, shit. I’m fresh out of gasoline. Do you have some stashed somewhere so I can put it in one of them?”

“No…,” he muttered.

I rolled my eyes, then turned to Elaina. She was tearing up. She never could handle it when I left. Every time I had to make a trip out, she melted down. To be frank, it killed me, as well, but I had to be strong for her.

She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Don’t cry, love. I’ll be fine. I’ve got this.” I pulled away, then softly kissed her on the lips. Tears tracked down her cheeks. I brushed them away as I held her face.

“Are you going to be okay or…?” Elaina inquired.

“I’m fine, love.” Elaina looked at Mara and Eli. They both nodded, acknowledging the implication. Then I whispered in her ear, “Maybe tomorrow we can work out together. I have a few moves I want to show you.” Elaina laughed, then smacked me on my arm. With a hearty smirk, I kissed her cheek. “Love you.”

“Ditto,” Elaina said with a soft smile. I walked backward, but she still held onto my hands.

“Oh, tell Quinn he’s with me, so she can bring Gunther back out.” Elaina nodded. I turned around and led the group down the hall with one last glance over my shoulder. She watched me intently, her hands over her mouth. I fist bumped Thomas and walked out the door.

The air was sucked out of Elaina’s body. She was scared out of her mind Henry would never come back.

“You okay?”

Elaina jumped. “Josie… You scared me.”

“I’ll go tell Quinn so you can have a minute,” Josie murmured and walked away.

“Thanks,” Elaina sighed, only to be startled again when she spun around.

Full of attitude, hands on her hips, Savannah snarled, “What do you see in him?”

“Goddammit! Would you people stop sneaking up on me?! Listen to me, you Barbie princess whore. You have no idea who he is. He is the most caring, loving man who would take any amount of bullets to keep us all safe. You are absolutely fucking clueless. Let’s add ungrateful to that, as well!”

“Why does he act so…?”

“Mental?”

“You said it,” Savannah said with a smirk.

Elaina’s fists clenched at her sides. “That man has been through some really, really bad shit his entire life. He’s been through obscene amounts of abuse. He has had to do things and had things done to him that are morally unethical and just fucking horrible. He is who he is and I will
not
allow anyone to talk shit about him. I love that man more than anything and
no one
will dirty his name while I am still above the fucking ground.”

As Quinn, Josie, and Gunther strolled into the cafeteria, they heard Elaina. “Elaina… Calm down, hon,” Quinn said as she approached.

She was milliseconds from beating the piss out of Savannah. She wanted to rearrange her beauty pageant face, shanking her with the nail file that was seemingly jammed so far up her ass her teeth had been filed down.

In mild amusement and a villainous twist of her lips, Savannah knew she was getting under Elaina’s skin. “We have all been through some pretty bad times,” she muttered.

“Not what he has been through!” she ranted. “Trust me, you don’t have a clue. I have had to bring him back from committing suicide. Do you have any idea what it’s like to find the love of your life with a fucking gun to his head? Any idea? He’s tortured deep down inside. He doesn’t sleep, and when he does, it’s restless from all the nightmares of him getting beaten so severely, he has almost died on more than one occasion. He’s an alcoholic. He started drinking when he was a teen because of the abuse he endured. His mother was murdered in front of him when he was five! Is there anything else you want to know about my Henry? Or are you done making assumptions?” Before Savannah could even open her mouth to answer, Elaina continued, “I suggest you keep your fucking dick trap shut, or you’ll find yourself unable to do what you know best after I rearrange your pretty motherfucking face!” Tears formed in the corners of Elaina’s eyes as her breath was driving through her lips.

“Elaina…,” Gunther warned. “I know you’re upset, but let it rest for now.”

“That’s really fucking righteous, Gunther,” Elaina growled at him, still staring at Savannah.

He touched her shoulder, causing her to look up at him. “I understand why you would think that.” He had the same warning tone in his eyes that was in his voice. Gunther turned to Savannah. “Come on. Just leave her alone, please.”

“Why should I? You pretty much went bonkers yourself, especially on James.”

Quinn laughed quite loudly, but then she heard a low rumble coming from Gunther. Seemingly, he was a bit trigger happy, as well. Just the sound of James’ name made Gunther want to drain him.

“You know why that happened,” Quinn said. “Just go, please.” Savannah scoffed when she turned on her heels and stalked away. “You guys need to cool off. I understand everyone is edgy right now with everything going on, but I need all of you to stay in check for my own sanity.”

“Sorry,” Elaina muttered. “I don’t want her saying bullshit about Henry. She has no idea.”

“Trust me,” Quinn murmured. “I understand you.” She felt the same way as Elaina did, but was a little milder about it.

Quinn ushered Gunther into the cafeteria and made him sit by the window. Following behind, Elaina took position at the windows.

He folded his arms on the table, resting his head on them.

“Are you all right?” Elaina asked.

“Yeah. I’m just achy and have a headache.”

“Are you in need?”

“I probably should soon, but Quinn wanted me to eat something.”

“Are you excited?”

He looked up at Elaina with watery eyes and a tremble running through his lips. “I can’t even begin to tell you. It’s a dream come true.”

“Congrats. Henry and I are really happy for you guys.” Quinn sat and placed a few small food items in front of him. “Did you tell him how it happened?”

“I’m quite sure I know
how
the baby happened.” His eyes glimmered with lust when he looked at Quinn. “But I’m not sure which time…or where…”

“Oh, lord…” Elaina rolled her eyes. He laughed.

“I haven’t told him yet,” Quinn responded. He looked at her curiously, then she let out a great sigh.

Embarrassment spread across Elaina’s face. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

Looking at the both of them, Gunther wondered what Quinn was hiding. She looked at him. “Apparently, James had a vasectomy on one of his ‘business trips’. Hence, why I thought I couldn’t get pregnant. It was a perfect cover-up since it took forever to get pregnant with Carrie.”

Incensed James would do that to her, Gunther grumbled, “So you spent almost half your life feeling inadequate because of his deceit?”

“That would seem to be the case.” Quinn took a bite out of a protein bar.