Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three) (30 page)

A few days had gone by since Gunther went under. Quinn stood vigil by his side the entire time, only leaving when Cora or I forced her to.

I lightly knocked and cracked open the door, peeking in. “Hey. How’s it going?”

Quinn shrugged. “He looks the same.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead, trying to relieve the stress building. “He hasn’t even rolled over. Just some fidgeting with his fingers and toes, eyelids fluttering a few times. Other than that, nothing. No response to anything I’ve tried.”

“This has to be deep suspended animation. I have no idea what else it could be.” The situation was feeling more hopeless as the days went on. I shook my head. “Listen, why don’t you go get something to eat? I’ll stay in here with him. Take your time.” I lovingly touched her arm. “When you come back, I’ll draw another vial to force down him.”

“About that… Can I talk to you about something?”

“Absolutely. You can talk to me about anything.”

Whatever she wanted to tell me was eating at her in every way. I watched her pace and mumble to herself. Then she turned and blurted out, “I’m pregnant.” My jaw dropped open. “I’m sorry…” Quinn put her face in her hands.

“Hey… Hey.” I rubbed her shoulder and pulled her hands away from her face. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Is this what the both of you want?”

Quinn nodded. “I’m just afraid he isn’t going to wake up to know. He wants this like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I know. We’ve talked before about how much he wanted to have a child with you.” There was a long pause, only Gunther’s slight breathing sounds filling the room. “Go. Go get something to eat and take a break. I’ll stay with him. Take your time. You look exhausted.”

“I haven’t slept in days,” she cried.

“Maybe you should go lie down for a while. You can in my room, if you would like. I can have Elaina get you situated. She and I will watch him in shifts while you rest.” I was doing my best to comfort her in her delicate physical and emotional state.

“I will see how I feel after I refuel.”

“You need to take care of yourself…and the little one.” She nodded. With reluctance, Quinn turned around and left the room.

I turned and squatted next to Gunther. “Mate… Come on. Quinn needs you badly. And, even though I hate to admit it,
I
need you. You have to fight and come through on this side.” I pulled back his lids and staring back at me was nothing—blank, green eyes. “Christ, fight. Please,” I whispered, my head hanging in despair.

I stood and sat in the chair, shedding a few tears, thinking about the probable outcome of the situation. I pushed my palms into my eyes.

Liam…

It was so loud, I jumped up with my gun in my hand and spun around the room. The low chuckle filled my ears.

“Fuck,” I whispered.

They will all leave you. You will die alone.

I sat back down and tried to push the demons away. I had to hold myself together until Quinn came back to the room, but the paranoia was making me sweat. I listened to every ridicule and every insult. It was moments like those I wished I still had a bottle to guzzle so I could black out.

After sitting at a table in the cafeteria, Quinn ran her hand over her lower abdomen, wondering if the baby would be a boy or girl. Or if it would look like Gunther or her, or be a good mix of the both of them. She picked at a granola bar, barely eating, even though the gnawing in her stomach begged her to. For the baby, she forced a couple bites down.

“Is this seat taken?” Quinn looked up and James was standing there.

“No, unfortunately, it’s not,” she mumbled.

He pursed his lips and pulled out the chair, sitting next to her. “I heard about what’s going on. Look, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry your boyfriend–”

She held up her left ring finger and corrected, “Fiancé.”

James cleared his throat. “Right. I’m sorry your fiancé is ill.”

Quinn nodded. “Thanks.” In her head, she tossed around telling James about her pregnancy, feeling he should hear it from her and not anyone else. “Um…just so you know, I’m pregnant.”

“Oh,” he said with tight lips, leaning back in the chair.

“Something is bothering me about it, though.” He felt a moment of happiness, thinking maybe she regretted her pregnancy, then anxiety crashed over him when he heard her next question. “How is it that after so many years of being with you, it never happened again after Carrie? But I’m with Gunther for several months and I get pregnant?”

James let out a nervous laugh. “Well…uhh… I suppose I should confess.” Quinn looked up at him. Her rage was building, and she didn’t even know what he was going to confess. “I had a vasectomy shortly after Carrie was born. I went out of town and told you it was for business. I spent the weekend in a hotel and recovered on my own. I flew home and that was that.” Tears trickled down her face as she rose to her feet. “Quinn, I’m so sorry. I should have told you or, at the very least, asked if it was fine to do.”

“You should have
told
me?! I spent sixteen years thinking I was broken. Sixteen fucking years thinking
I was the problem
! I cried for many nights because of my inability to give you another child!”

“Quinn…” He stood and faced her.

“Don’t you dare apologize! You are not worthy of forgiveness! I can’t believe this. All that time, I thought you… It doesn’t matter now. I love him and he loves me. I am not a convenience because I matter to him. He kisses the ground I walk on! He makes me feel loved and wanted…unlike you. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a
man
to tend to.”

She glared at James in disgust and ran out of the room, leaving him to yield to the stares from the rest of the community. He sat back down and let out a loud exhale.

Deeply engrossed, Josie played Nick’s guitar in the usual corner. The youngest guy from James’ crew, Josiah, watched from across the room. The raw edge in her voice and the way she played impressed and mesmerized him.

Being a musician himself, he really wanted to get to know her and decided he was going to go talk to her when she finished her song. He was dying to play the piano again, and wanted to find out if there was one somewhere in the school. Plus, he thought she was beautiful, which was just an added bonus.

As soon as the last chord ebbed, Josiah walked up to her. “Um…hey.” He gave her a shy smile. “I’m Josiah.”

Her eyes started at his trim thighs, then slowly worked their way up the baby-faced, fair-haired guy. His body seemed fit, but not bulky like Gunther or Henry. It was much more like Nick’s body. He was definitely younger than Nick, and seemed to be more like her age. As his thick, unruly hair fell into his eyes, he swept it back. The dimple in Josiah’s cheek made her smirk.

“Hey… I’m Josie.”

Josiah pointed at the guitar. “You’re pretty good.” A blush and shy smile graced her pale face. With his hands in his pockets, Josiah rocked back on his heels.

“Thanks. I never played out of my bedroom until Elaina’s brother, Nick, encouraged me.”

“I don’t think I’ve met him yet.” He quickly looked around for someone he hadn’t run into yet.

“He’s, ahh… He’s dead,” Josie whispered with sorrow, glancing down.

“Oh, wow. Sorry to hear. Were you in a relationship with him?”

“Sort of. It was complicated.”

“Right. Well… I thought I would ask if you knew if there was a piano here. I play and have been itching to get my fingers on one.”

Josie gazed up into Josiah’s hopeful chocolate brown eyes. “Oh. Cool. Yeah, there’s one in the music room. Want to go check it out?”

“Hell, yeah! Love to. Let me just tell my sister where I’m going so she doesn’t get all crazy.”

Excited to be doing something different, Josiah rushed over to Savannah. She peeked around him and looked over at Josie, who was glaring back. “Be careful, little brother. She seems like a miserable one,” Savannah said with a smirk.

He shrugged. “I’m not worried.”

Josie noted his playful edge, his hair bouncing around as he jogged back to her. “Ready?” she asked. He nodded, a huge grin on his face.

Josie opened the music room door, allowing Josiah to pass through first.

He was in his element. Instruments were neatly stashed around the room. Several bookshelves were loaded with music books of all kinds. Running his hands over them as he walked around the room, he was content with his situation for the first time in a long time.

“It’s not much, but…,” Josie said, looking around.

“No, this is great. Thanks!” He made his way to the piano and lifted the cover off the keys. It wasn’t as pristine as the baby grand he used to have in his living room, but it would do.

“Okay, well… I’ll see you around.” Josie turned to leave.

“Wait! Aren’t you going to stay? I thought we could hang out, play a few songs together. Maybe even talk a bit and have a little fun.”

“Uh…yeah, I guess.”

Josiah patted the bench next to him. She felt really uncomfortable with that and decided to grab a chair instead, pulling it around to the side.

Rolling his lips into his mouth, and with a slight shrug of his shoulders, he turned and faced the piano to warm up a little, running through a couple scales. He glanced over his shoulder at Josie, smirking before turning back to the piano.

“Maybe you know this one?” His fingers ran over the keys with quick precision.

Who wouldn’t recognize “Resistance” from Muse?
she thought with an eye roll.

Josiah waited for her to take the lead and begin singing, but she didn’t. He shrugged again, then belted out the tune. She smiled, admiring his enthusiasm, and bounced along to the rhythm.

When he finished, he bent toward her with a bow. She applauded, leaving them both laughing. “Thanks. I thought maybe you would sing a little.”

“I guess I’m not too comfortable singing without the guitar. I kind of hide behind it.”

“No need to hide. You sing really well.” Josie’s cheeks went red. “You do. You have a really nice voice.” Then Josiah encouraged, “You pick a song and we’ll see if I know it.”

Thinking for a moment, she began a song that Josiah knew right away.

After hours of playing together, their throats ached, and their stomachs hurt from the laughter. It felt good to Josie to laugh for a change.

Josiah turned and straddled the bench, patting the spot next to him. “Come on. Sit with me. It’s so lonely here on this cold, hard bench,” he pouted expertly.

He watched Josie give in with nervous energy. After she settled beside him, he tucked a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes as his thumb brushed across her cheek.

Josiah inched closer to her as his fingers lingered on her cheek. His touch made her feel alive. She hadn’t felt like that since the last time Nick touched her. He leaned close enough for her to feel his warm breath tickle her lips, her own breath staggering right along with his. Slow and steady, he grabbed her body, pulling at her hips so her legs straddled over his.

Cupping her small face in his hand, he tilted his head just enough to brush his lips across hers, uncertain if she would be receptive. All he could do was hope.

To his surprise, she kissed him back. “You’re beautiful, Josie,” he whispered against her lips as he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her with desire.

While his lips lingered over hers, he reached between them, unzipped her hoodie, exposing her faded teal tank top. He ran his hands up her sides and over her small breasts. Tilting her head back, she enjoyed his touch. He left a trail of kisses around her neck, leading back to her lips.

She helped Josiah out of his shirt, running her hands up his abdomen and chest, which was dusted with dirty blonde hair. As she suspected, his lean, athletic build was like Nick’s, but the warmth of his skin felt nice under her slender palms.

They broke apart, only to crash against one another again. He groaned as she shifted, her heated core working over his hard length, which was screaming against the zipper of his jeans.

Even though Nick was still in her heart, Josie wanted what Josiah was offering. The want to feel someone touch her, even if she didn’t love them, was intense. She begged for her body to cooperate.

Josiah stood and took her hand, directing her to the carpeted floor. Pushing her tank top up, exposing her small chest to the chill in the air, he dove in, teasing her. As she enjoyed the glorious feeling, she heard his belt buckle rattle. Her eyes popped open and nerves danced around her body. She ached to have something—anything—inside her to relieve the continual stirring.

Josie unbuttoned her jeans, leaving Josiah to pull them off. He kicked off his own, settling himself between her skinny thighs. He ran his hand down one thigh and pulled her leg up, adjusting himself so the tip of his throbbing length brushed against her moisture.

A harsh rub against her caused her to gasp. “Do you want this?” he growled.

She nodded and bit down on her lower lip. He entered her exceptionally tight core, which resulted in her sucking in a sharp breath to keep herself from yelling out in pain.

She couldn’t breathe. It was hurting her too much.

Josiah didn’t move when he saw her reaction. He knew it had to be her first time. “Are you okay?” She shook her head, a tear escaping her tightly shut lids. “Do you want me to stop?” She shook her head again. “It’s okay. I don’t have to keep going. I understand.” He stroked her hair and kissed her tears. There was no response from Josie. Then he added, “Or I can just stay still until you get used to the feeling.”

“Yes…that,” she managed to whisper.

“Let me know. Just try to relax. You’re so tense. Breathe with me, dollface.” He placed his forehead on hers and pulled in a deep breath.

She followed his pattern, appreciative of his tenderness. After several paced breaths, the pain ebbed.

Josiah ran his hand through her hair and asked, “Ready?” Josie swallowed and nodded.

He pulled out slightly and pushed back in her, a little deeper each time. Several strokes later, she realized it was an amazing sensation…one she didn’t expect, but one she thoroughly enjoyed. Wondering if Nick would’ve been as tender, she had to believe he would have. She slammed her lids shut again and envisioned it was Nick moving inside of her.

As he rocked his hips, moving in and out of her, Josie enjoyed his heavy moans and the pleasurable sensations she was experiencing. She went with the flow, not knowing what she should be doing. She ran her fingers up and down his back, grabbing onto his taut ass. He started moving faster and slamming into her harder, groaning with every stroke.

She heard Nick’s voice ring in her head, “Josie…” Her whispered name morphed into a moan. “Oh god, you feel so good,” Josiah panted. “So tight…” Then he shifted his lean body.

Suddenly, Josie felt an engine rev up inside her as the pressure built. She didn’t know what was happening. She was surprised by the feeling, but didn’t want it to stop. Without realizing what was on the horizon, Josie’s body began to tremble beneath Josiah’s. She arched her spine, angling her hips just right.

“Oh god…,” she moaned, the sensation taking over.

Waves of sensual pleasure crashed over her entire body. Unintended sounds flowed from her throat and rolled from her lips.

Josiah responded with swift finesse. He wrapped one arm around her back and pulled her tight to his body, bucking his hips into her steamy, wet flesh continuously until he let out a guttural grunt. His body shuddered and collapsed on top of her, resting his face into her neck, struggling to catch his breath.

The emotions ran through Josie’s body. She felt like a dirty whore. Envisioning Nick over her instead of enjoying an oblivious Josiah was a terrible feeling. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but he was not what she wanted.

Josiah looked up at her and saw tears falling from her eyes. “Are you okay?”

“No.” She covered her face with her hands. “Please…get off me.”

“Yeah, sorry.” Josiah pulled out and scrambled to his feet. Yanking on his jeans, he felt terrible watching her dress in such a hurry. He didn’t mean to upset her and worried maybe she felt like he pushed her into having sex. That wasn’t what his intentions were. “Josie…,” he said, approaching her. Seeing her cry made him feel dreadful.

Holding her hand up, she said, “No…don’t.”

He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on. “I’m sorry. I thought you wanted to. I mean, you got there…”

“I did. I just can’t handle this right now. I’m sorry.” She slipped on her sneakers and grabbed her guitar.

“Josie, wait… Please.”

She ripped open the door and took off down the hall. She wanted to share that moment with Nick, not some meaningless guy who crossed her path. The anger made her run faster.

“Josie!”
Son of a bitch
, she thought. He was chasing her. “Josie, come on. Wait a sec.” She stopped so he could catch up. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. Can you fill me in?”

“Just leave me alone. I don’t want to talk about it,” she pleaded. She tried to run again, but he grabbed her arm and held her firmly. “Let go of me or I’ll scream.”

“I just want to know what happened. Why are you so upset? You don’t think I forced you, do you?”

She looked at her shoes, embarrassed about her behavior. “No,” she cried, wiping the tears off of her cheeks. “You didn’t force me.”

He enjoyed their time together and just wanted her to feel better. “Can I hug you? Would that help?”

“No.” She struggled to free her arm. “Just leave me alone.”

“Please, tell me what I did wrong.”

“It’s not you.
I
did it. I’m mad at myself. I loved him. Is that what you want to hear?”

Confused, Josiah’s eyebrows scrunched up. “Love who?”

“Nick!” she shouted, frustrated that he didn’t get it.

“Oh, right,” Josiah mumbled, then cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“I wanted to share that with him, but I can’t. And now I’m here alone, and… I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be alone. I’m here for you, if you want me to be.”

He let go of her arm, and Josie bolted away from him. He watched her storm down the hallway, feeling crushed over the drastic turn of events. It was the best sex he ever had and he was bummed she didn’t feel the same.

Lost in thought, staring at the toes of his Vans, he made his way down the hallway, heading to the room he shared with a few of the others with whom he was traveling.

“Hey, little brother.” He looked up. Savannah was heading his way. “Is everything all right? You look a little disheveled.”

“Ah, yeah.” He brushed the hair out of his eyes. There was no way he could tell her what had just happened. “I’m just tired, I guess.”

“Hmm… Maybe you should lie down for a while. Are you coming down with something?” She reached out to check his forehead, but he dodged her hand.

“No, I’m fine. But I think I will lie down for a while anyway.” He brushed past her.