Fractured (BBW Erotic Romance) (3 page)

“
Nowhere,” I said. I tried
to hide my blushing. My cheeks were so rosy couldn’t I hide it if
tried. I bet I had stars in my eyes too.

“
You went on a date didn’t
you?” Candace said putting the bowl of popcorn on the cushion next
to her.”

“
Something like
that.”

“
Well I need the details.
Who? Where?” She patted the couch with her palms, ordering me to
sit down and spill the beans.

“
Well he was sweet,” I said
kicking my flats off my feet onto the carpet. “He apologized for
what he did. I guess he was having a bad day.”

“
I guess that’s cool. At
least he’s not a total prick.” I grabbed the bowl of popcorn and
launched a mouthful between my lips.

“
We’ll see.” I looked away
and smiled.

“
Wait,” Candace cackled and
pointed to me. “What is that? You’re sweet on this boy aren’t
you?”

I shook my head no furiously. “Lord no. I
don’t like guys with tattoos. Not my thing.”

“
Okay. You say that now. But
wait until you two have those late night study sessions. We’ll see
about that.” I got up and went to my bedroom to change into my
night clothes.

“
You are crazy, Candace.
This conversation…is over!” I closed the door, trying all my might
to hide my blushing.

***

I woke up early the next morning and despite
the smile stuck on my face from last night’s date with Heath, I
still had to get started on the project that we had to work. I was
so distracted by him, I forgot to mention how behind we were on the
all the work. I decided to spend all day in the library. It was
Saturday – I could get a lot of work done. I wasn’t going to fail
and lose my scholarship – even if I had to do all the work.

About an hour of researching, which actually
meant me playing Sudoku on my phone, I decided to go to the
library’s café to indulge my caramel latte addiction. I floated
towards the smell of fresh ground Columbian coffee beans when my
phone rang.

“
Hello?” I said, not looking
down to see who called.

“
Good morning, Selena,” my
mother said.

“
Good morning, mom.” I
exhaled a deep sigh, hoping not to get lectured.

“
What was that for? This is
your mother. You’re supposed to be happy to hear from me.” Her
voice sounded irritated and whiny. I could tell she hadn’t had her
morning coffee yet, she always dragged out her
a’s
,
o’s
and other vowels when she hadn’t had her Maxwell
House.

“
I am mom, I just have a lot
of studying to do. I’m sorry. How are you?” I put my hand on my hip
and rolled my eyes up to the ceiling.
Just sweat it out for a
few more minutes.

“
Well, your father and I are
just concerned about you. We called earlier this week and even last
week and you didn’t call back.”

“
I’ve just been busy getting
adjusted. The first week is hectic.”

“
Well, this is your first
time away from home. It’s your first time away from us since
the…”

“
I know. You don’t have to
say it.”

“
Selena?”

“
Yes, mom?” My voice
scrunched up. I knew what was coming next.

“
Have you been taking your
pills?”

“
Of course, mom.” Agitation
coursed through my bloodstream. I felt my right temple pulsate. The
vein that protrudes above my right eye when I get angry pound
recklessly.

“
You don’t have to get
snippy, Selena.”

“
I’m not.” I clenched the
phone in my sweaty fist. “Mom, I have to go. I have a study group I
have to meet up with.”

“
Okay, call me later
tonight. Oh shoot! Your father and I have a poker night with the
Redmonds next door. Call me tomorrow afternoon. I love
you.”

“
I love you too.” I hung up
the phone and not even ten seconds later, it rang again. My face
wound to a tight frown.

“
Mom, I told you I’d call
you back.” I said. My voice sharp as a blade.

“
Hello?” the stony voice
said. It was Heath.

“
Shit,” I said. I swiftly
fixed my hair, hoping he couldn’t see how much of a mess it was.
“Heath!”

“
Hey there,” he said
laughing. The ragged timbre of his voice sent my stomach into a
flutter.

“
How are you?”

“
Not bad.” His voice made
breaths get caught in my throat. “Look, I had a great time with you
last night…”

“
So did I.” Was he asking me
out again tonight?

“
But we didn’t get any work
done. We didn’t talk about the project.”

“
You’re right. I’m at the
library right now doing research.” I grabbed my fancy caffeinated
milkshake and headed outside to not disrupt the students nearby
with my giddiness.

“
You’re at the library
without me?” He sounded offended.

“
I didn’t know I was
required to? I did my part to try to reach you. I’m not getting an
F. Even if that means doing it myself.”

“
I’m on my way. I’ll text
you when I’m there.”

***

The lull of reading reference book after
reference had taken its toll. My caffeine rush had worn off. My
eyes were glazing over and I was nodding off too much. I struggled
to keep my chin from hitting my chest.

I felt a hand fall on top of my shoulder.
“Ma’am, I’m going to have ask you to wake up. The library prohibits
sleeping at the desk,” the voice said. It was dainty and fragile.
My head heaved up in shock. I hoped she didn’t see the drool on the
side of my mouth. I mumbled something under my breath. Even I
couldn’t understand it. I think I tried to apologize.

I slowly open my eyes to see Heath smiling
over me. “Heath!” I said.

“
Wake up sleepy head,” he
said cackling.

“
How long were you standing
here?” He was getting a kick out of this. I couldn’t peg this boy.
One day he was closed off. The next he’s full of angst. And now
he’s chipper as can be. I pinched him on his forearm.

“
Ouch! Now I know not to
play with you when you’re sleeping!” He rubbed his arm up and down
to soothe the stinging. My pinches were deadly. “C’mon. Let’s walk
around. Get that blood flowing. We got a lot of work to
do.”

After we got a few books from the shelves, we
sat down at the table, across from each other, ready to dive in
head first for an afternoon full of footnotes and fact-checking. I
needed one hundred percent focus to not sit and stare at him all
day long. I didn’t think I had enough willpower to simply focus on
just studying. Heath had the type of demeanor that he knew women
desired him. Even if they hated his personality, they still
fantasized about him.

“
What?” he said. He caught
me staring at him red-handed. I had to think of something
fast.

“
Can I ask you a
question?”

“
Well it
depends.”

“
On what?”

“
How personal you’re going
to get.”

“
Well, I just wanted to know
why if you live in an apartment, why do you eat on campus. Can’t
cook huh?”

“
I don’t like eating alone.
It doesn’t feel natural.”

“
How so?”

“
Having a meal is a communal
thing. If you’ve ever tried Ethiopian food, it’s meant to be a
gathering of loved ones. Not just let me stuff my mouth and leave
as fast as I can.”

“
But you sit by
yourself.”

“
Wrong. You joined me the
other day.” There was his electric smile again.

“
Correction I didn’t join
you. I sat down for two minutes. Enjoying a meal with you was not
on my agenda. Last time I checked we didn’t split a
croissant.”

“
Can I at least have my
headphones back?”

“
When we complete the
project you can. It’s my insurance policy.”

“
That’s three months from
now. I need my beats. It helps me slow things down and drown out
the unnecessary noise.”

“
Walking around campus with
your face plastered in your phone and you seem
anti-social.”

“
And you think that’s what I
do?”

“
I have a hunch.”

“
Well you’re right. Except
for the phone. I’m not much of a texter. But I always have music
playing. It helps me escape. That and boxing.”

“
What do you mean by
escape?” I knew exactly what he meant. I needed to hear him explain
it. I needed to know someone other than myself wanted to escape
their reality; or in my case my past.

He paused for a moment to gather his
thoughts.

“
Have you ever felt like the
mistakes you’ve made are closing in on you? Like no matter how hard
you try to run away from them, they’ll clip you at the heels and
eat you alive the second you let up.” He cracked his knuckles. His
mouth became croaky; he sounded as if he had to force the words
out. “Everyday you run. Harder and faster than the day before. But
you’re scared shitless that one day, one day you’re gonna run out
of breath and get caught. All that running you did was for
nothing.” He paused again. He grabbed a pen and fiddled with it,
then looked up at the ceiling. “In the end you couldn’t outlast it.
You wake up with this fear that one day, whether it’s next month,
two years, five years from now that you’ll be too tired to
run.”

I became numb. My mouth was dry. He described
my life over the last three years. I never could match my feelings
about the accident with the right words. And he did it so
eloquently. It was sobering. “We’re born runners. No matter the
pain. That burning taste you get in your mouth. You keep running.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look back. In some way, throughout
all the night terrors, the anxiety pills, the fucking paranoia,
strangely enough, it makes me feel alive.”

“
Like you’re discovering
yourself?”

“
Exactly.”

“
But the more you discover
yourself, you feel isolated. Like no one else can even attempt to
understand you.”

His face looked withdrawn. I looked deeply in
his eyes. “
I
understand you.” We were both leaning forward
on the table. Our eyes fixated on each others. He reached over the
table and gently touched the length of the scar on my cheek.
“That’s beautiful. How’d you get it? His hands were rough but his
touch was soothing. It was inquisitive; as if he was searching for
the truth in my soul.

“
An accident from a few
years ago. Tribal scar.”

“
It gives you
character.”

“
I’ve got enough character,
therapy is what I need.”

He burst out in to a fit of laughter. It
wasn’t meant to be a joke, but I started laughing too when I
thought about how silly it sounded.

“
We didn’t get much work
done today.”

“
Very little.”

“
My aunt Alice was right. If
I keep it up, I might not make it to Thanksgiving.”

“
She might be onto
something. We didn’t get anything done on our date
either.”

“
That was a date?” I said
with an incredulous stare. My mouth fell open.

“
Of course it was. Two
attractive people, talking, laughing, flirting. Sounds like a date
to me.”

“
Wait. I recall you flirting
with me. I mean your lips are succulent and all, but…”
Dammit,
Selena.
“I mean…”

“
It’s too late now! You put
it out there on the table. You can’t take it back.” His eyes
widened to the gills. I sat back in my chair, sheer humiliation
poured over me. I couldn’t utter a word. My ears reddened with
embarrassment, but a smile still managed to ornament my face. “Have
you ever been in love before?” Heath asked; his stony eyes relaxed
upon my face.

“
Have I ever before been in
love before?” My stomach knotted. Heath could see the reluctance
splashed on my face.

He grabbed a few papers and shuffled them.
“How about we get back to work?” I nodded in agreement.

We spent the rest of the afternoon avoiding
the main reason we were there – to study. It was cathartic talking
to someone who knew how you felt. He knew me so well, he finished
my sentences; and I did his.

We walked out of Robertson Library; the sun
was preparing to set soon.

“
Where did you park?” he
asked. His face was squinting from the sunshine. “I’ll walk you to
your car.”

“
I’m in lot B.” He paused
and looked at the top of my head. His eyes squinted. “What’s
wrong?” I asked.

“
Wait. Don’t move?” He edged
in closer to me.

“
Why?”

“
There’s a bumblebee right
on top of your hair.”

“
Oh my god. Oh my god. Get
it. Get it. Get it.” My arms flailed rapidly on my side. I was on
the edge of panic and near death. I gritted my teeth and slammed my
eyes shut.

“
I
said
don’t move,
Selena,” he said laughing.

“
Are you going to laugh or
get it?”