Fox Fate (24 page)

Carissa stared, not responding immediately. Finally she collected herself. "Well." She laughed. "You have managed to surprise me, Lara. That is about the last offer I was expecting."

"It is heartfelt," Lara said. "Our daughters will be with us. But if the timing is poor, we can make other arrangements. Perhaps you could come just after Christmas and stay until the New Year. Other weekends are planned with far less notice."

"This is very startling," Carissa said. "I am quite taken aback. Are you quite sure, Lara?"

"Of course, but was I clear about the size of the invited retinue?"

"Have no fear, although I take it you are not telling me to come alone."

"No, not alone," Lara said. "I apologize I am unable to be as gracious as you were with your invitation."

"You are inviting me into your home away from home," Carissa said. "That is beyond gracious. Perhaps..." she turned, her eyes finding Joanna. She was speaking with Eric, and the two of them were standing very close together.

"Deirdre would not come in the winter," Carissa added. "Would four of us stretch your capacity?"

"No," said Lara.

I spoke up. "I would rather Kristian weren't one of them unless it is necessary."

Carissa laughed. "I would rather Kristian weren't one of them, either. I was thinking these two and perhaps one more. Would another were be all right?"

"Yes," Lara said. "Absolutely."

"Well then, we will be there. Thank you, Lara!"

* * * *

It was a long flight. We had to divert well to the east of poor weather centered near St. Louis. When we finally arrived in Madison, I was mentally and physically exhausted. And I was worried about Angel. She sounded stressed on the radio. We'd spent half the flight in instrument conditions, and her aircraft didn't have as many niceties as Lara and I were enjoying.

To make it worse, it was going to be an instrument approach home, although we would break out of the clouds with plenty of altitude, but lower than ideal visibility.

Evidently Lara was worried about all of us. "Angel, when was the last time you shot an approach into Dane County?"

She was asking Angel if she'd been practicing flying on simulated instruments into the Madison regional airport, the main airport serving the Madison region.

"June and I went out last weekend," Angel reported. "She ran me through the wringer."

She had done the same thing with me.

"All right. Are you both up to an ILS into runway two-one?"

"Sure," Angel said. "June and I did it that one twice."

"No problem," I said.

"All right," Lara said. "Pull out your plates, then we'll each call center and amend our flight plans."

An hour later, all three aircraft were safely on the ground.

It was good to be home.

Discontent

It was good to be home.

Violet's mate met us at the airport; Violet offered James and Hanna a ride home. Scarlett, Zoe, and Gia arrived with SUVs for the rest of us. November in Madison can be nice, but it can also be dreary, and it would be several days before we could retrieve the aircraft, returning them to their hangars at the pack airport.

Lara pulled Scarlett to the side. It was difficult to avoid eavesdropping when Lara said, "Angel is wiped out. Take her home and pamper her. If you order out, it's on me."

"What about-" I glanced over, and Scarlett was looking at me. As soon as my head turned to her, she snapped her eyes back to Lara.

"It was a stressful trip," Lara replied. "The Fox needs her friends around her, but I'm not sure she's in a mood to accept them tonight."

"What about you, Lara?"

"I'm fine," she said. I thought she was lying. "Tired. Take care of Angel tonight."

By then, our things were loaded into the backs of the vehicles, and I let Serena direct me to one of the SUVs. Lara climbed in beside me, and a minute later, our small convoy headed towards the airport exit.

During the ride, Lara tried to pretend she wasn't paying attention to me while acutely paying attention to me. I was doing the same about her. Serena and Elisabeth quietly rode in the front seat. No one was talking.

I couldn't quite tell if there was a little red-haired fox riding in the vehicle or a big elephant no one wanted to address. I didn't want to address it, either. So I ignored it as well.

Instead, I did something very simple. I set my hand on Lara's leg, palm up. She looked at it for a moment before clasping it in both of hers. My entire hand disappeared inside of hers.

Not for the first time, I wondered how difficult it was for her to see me as an adult. I was as small as a young teenage werewolf. In fur, even the pups were now bigger than I was.

"When you guys look at me, how hard is it to remember I'm an adult?"

Beside me, Lara stiffened, and I thought perhaps Elisabeth did as well.

"I'm not starting a fight," I added. "I'm just curious. Kaylee is bigger than I am now. The only people on the compound smaller than me are the pups, and they're bigger in fur."

"Michaela, at no time do I see you as anything less than what you are. You are all woman." She lifted my hand to her lips and kissed the backs of my fingers. "It's very hard not to see you as very fragile, but I don't see you as a child."

"How about the two of you?"

"Lara is right," Elisabeth said. "You're small and delicate, but we're used to the humans we encounter being small, too, so we don't judge maturity based on size."

"Although instinctively, we can't help but feel protective," Serena added. "But we're protective around Michele Lassiter, too."

"Not Nick?" Scarlett's father was human. "Or Benny?"

"You're a lot more delicate than either of them, Michaela," Serena said.

"I'm stronger than either of them."

"We know that intellectually. But instinctively, it's harder."

I nodded.

I turned to the window, set my forehead against the cool glass, and watched the world roll past. There was still an elephant in the car, and my question hadn't helped. Asking Lara to hold my hand may have. Everything felt awkward, and it was my own fault.

"Lara, do you have to work tonight?"

"I need an update from the head enforcer," Lara said. "Elisabeth, do you expect anything pressing?"

"No. There were antics on Halloween, but nothing that stands out over previous years."

"I need a shower," I said. "And to spend time with the pups. Food. And maybe a relaxing movie while cuddled with my mate and our daughters. Maybe some of our friends will join us. Or did you have something else in mind, Lara?"

"That sounds lovely, Little Fox."

"Elisabeth, will you join us?"

She turned around to look at me more carefully. I knew she was about to turn us down, perhaps to give me room.

"It would be nice to have you, but if you're ready to be away from us for a while, we understand," I added, beating her to the punch.

She didn't answer right away.

"Elisabeth, when was the last time I did something to be polite?"

She laughed. "I need a run and a shower. Don't wait for me."

"Serena, your family is welcome," I said.

"I think Emanuel and I will stay home," Serena said.

"Send Kaylee over if you want."

* * * *

"That was a sweet movie," Lara said several hours later.

"It's nice to be home." I slipped into bed then watched my mate as she puttered around the room for a minute. When it became obvious she was stalling, I asked, "Are you angry at me?"

"Of course not." But she didn't look at me.

"Then do you think my big, strong, alpha mate would come to bed and hold me?" I asked.

She still didn't turn to face me. "We're not done fighting, are we?"

"Of course we are," I replied. "I told Elisabeth if she doesn't find a way for me to bring my knives with me, as Alpha, I had the authority to vacate the wager on grounds of pack safety." I brushed my hands together as if I was brushing crumbs from them. "One issue resolved."

At that, Lara turned to look at me. "And the other issue?"

"We're both too frazzled to discuss that tonight," I said. "And so we're going to let a few days give us both a little perspective then talk about it like rational adults. Now, unless you really are mad at me, I really hope you'll come to bed and hold me. I like to feel your arms around me while we sleep."

And so she did.

* * * *

The next several days were tense. Lara and most of the enforcers were on eggshells around me. Discounting my students, no one teased me. That was unusual.

Wednesday after class, with Serena and Portia flanking me, I stepped out of the school. I did what I always do. I listened.

Serena and Portia, of course, were loudest. I could readily hear their heartbeats. Portia was immediately in front of me, and Serena had her hand on my shoulder.

The next sound were the sounds of the forest. There was a light wind blowing the trees. I heard a few birds here and there.

There wasn't any game nearby; the area immediately around the compound was a dead zone of anything a werewolf might hunt, and we had to get a mile or more away before I would find rabbits and squirrels, and a little further for deer.

But I heard two more wolf heartbeats in the woods not far from the back of the house. I cocked my head listening.

The two wolves were being very quiet, for wolves.

It was then I realized since returning on Sunday I'd heard wolves in the woods every time I'd stepped outside. I turned to look at Serena. She was watching me instead of scanning for danger.

"I'm not sure if I should be amused, flattered, or insulted."

"Alpha?"

"Insulted that you're worried I'm going to fly off the handle. Amused that you think having two enforcers in fur will matter if I decide to leave, although a little insulted at the same time. Flattered that you care enough to try to keep me."

"Alpha-"

"That is why they're out there, isn't it?" I asked. "Or has there been a new threat that no one thought to tell me about?"

"Alpha-" She broke off a second time.

"Serena, let me ask a different question. If I decide to leave, if I pack my things, write a letter of resignation from my job, the pack, my duties as a mother, a wife... Are you going to stop me? Then what? The jail cell again? Been there, done that. Is that the plan?"

"You should have this conversation with your mate."

"My mate isn't here," I said. "What are you going to do if I go inside, grab my car keys, hand you a letter of resignation from everything, and head to my car?"

"Michaela, you're not about to do any of that."

"Then why are we making a couple of enforcers watch the house?"

She didn't have an answer for that.

"Am I a prisoner of the Madison pack, Serena? If I decide to leave, do you intend to stop me?"

"I cannot leave you unprotected without direct orders from the alpha or the head enforcer. So yes, if you tried to leave right now, I would either insist on a proper escort or insist you remain home until I have permission to release you."

I breathed deeply for a moment or two. "How does this play out, Serena? If I decide to leave, how does this play out? Lara will lock me up indefinitely? You're going to support that? What?"

"I don't know."

"Are those wolves out there a new, permanent feature?"

"I don't know."

I shook my head. "If you were starting to act a little erratically because you hadn't been hunting enough lately, do you think keeping you from hunting is the right solution?" I didn't wait for her to respond. "Then when I start to show stress from lack of freedom, do you think taking away more of my freedom is the right idea?"

"No one is taking your freedom, Michaela."

"As long as I shut up and do what I'm told?"

"Why are you making this more difficult than it needs to be?" she asked. "Eric and Angel aren't hurting you in any way right now. Portia and I aren't preventing you from doing anything you want to do."

"That's only because I'm doing what Lara approves of my doing. But if I try to do anything unapproved, you're going to be right here to stop me, and you're making sure I know it, too." I put my hand on my hip. "I want to know why."

She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed. "Because, Michaela, we love you."

"Smothering me is a poor way to show it."

"Better smothered than kidnapped or dead."

"So my mental stability doesn't matter."

"You're being hyperbolic. You have more freedom than any alpha's mate in North America and a hell of a lot more than Sonya has. She seemed fine."

"If that's how Lara wants me to live, then she should have kept me as her blood thrall."

"Michaela, you have responsibilities here. Are you abdicating them?"

"Who said anything about abdicating responsibilities?" I asked. "I'm just asking all of you to back the fuck off."

"We're not stopping you from doing anything you
want
to do, Michaela. You're making up scenarios that aren't going to happen."

"Apparently, so are you," I spat. "Or Eric and Angel wouldn't be in reserve."

"We consider the likelihood of you acting up to be fairly high. When you do, you won't be alone. That's all."

I cocked my head. "So you're not going to stop me from doing what I want?"

"That goes back to the question you didn't answer," she replied. "Do you intend to abdicate your responsibilities?"

"Not at this time," I said.

"Then no, we're not going to stop you from doing what you want."

"Fine. In twenty minutes, I am taking the pups for a half-hour run before people begin showing up for Wednesday night dinner. I expect our escort to be loose and to avoid scaring the game. I want quality time with my daughters. Am I clear?"

I didn't wait for an answer but turned towards the house. A moment later, I felt Serena's hand on my back. I came to another stop and looked over my shoulder at her. "Remove your hand, Enforcer."

She looked into my eyes, slowly exhaled, and nodded. Her hand fell away.