Foursome (23 page)

The old Lorna is starting to reemerge before my eyes. The floppy little poor-me version has been cast aside and the mean girl is back. I am not going to let her bury me.

‘How on earth do you think this was a power trip if I told him I was you? And I didn’t pretend to anyone that I was representing the clients so I don’t know how you think I thought I was furthering myself. I told them all I was working on your behalf. I even pretended to go away and consult you when really you were ignoring all my attempts to make contact because you were so wrapped up in yourself and your own problems.’

‘All? You told them all? Who’s
all
?’

OK, so now I have to own up to the rest of it, the stuff I was hoping to save until she came back to work where somehow I could maybe convince her that she had done it before she went off sick.

‘Jasmine’s going to be doing a regular spot on
London at Six
, Samuel’s got a little job on
Nottingham General
, his second, actually, Kathryn’s got an audition for
Nurses
and Mary had an audition for
Reddington Road
but she didn’t get it, but now she’s had another one for
Marlborough Murder Mysteries
, which would be even better. I couldn’t reach you so I just dealt with it all, yes.’

She looks at me, incredulous. ‘You’ve done deals for them? Jasmine and Samuel?’

‘I had to. If I’d kept asking for advice, then Joshua and Melanie would have realized that I wasn’t able to get hold of you. For God’s sake, Lorna, I thought I was doing the right thing.’

She gets up. ‘OK, you can leave now. You can tell Joshua and Melanie I’ll be back this afternoon. I need to come in and sort this mess out.’

There’s no point arguing with her. I came here to try and get her to come back to work and I’ve succeeded. I’ve given her the one thing she needed to propel her off her couch and into the office – ammunition against me.

‘Lorna,’ I say as I get up to move to the door. ‘I know we don’t get on, but please think about this before you say anything. You’ll see that I was trying to help, that I didn’t want you to lose your job.’ I hear a noise and I realize it’s the shower running. She wasn’t even listening to what I had to say.

I head back to the office deflated. I even think about just going home and hiding, but that would make me as bad as Lorna so I decide I have to face the music, whatever that music might turn out to be. Kay is distraught on my behalf and can’t stop apologizing for having suggested I go round to Lorna’s.

‘It would all have come out sometime,’ I say. ‘It might as well be now.’

I consider heading Lorna off at the pass and going in and telling Melanie my side of the story before she gets here, but I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Kay lets them both know the good news that Lorna is coming back, and I clear out my few bits and pieces from her office and just sit and wait to see what will happen.

‘I’m sure Lorna must be really grateful about how you’ve kept everything together while she’s been gone,’ Melanie says as she’s passing through reception and I nearly laugh it’s so ridiculous. ‘I’m glad because I know the two of you haven’t always got on so well.’

At about half past one Lorna breezes in and is greeted like the prodigal daughter by both Joshua and Melanie. Lots of concern and ‘we were so worried’ and ‘are you sure you’re completely better?’.

‘Can you bring me all my clients’ files,’ she says to Kay without even bothering to say hello. ‘I need to see what’s been happening in my absence.’ She gives me a meaningful look as she says this and I’m angry with myself because I feel my face going red. I have to remember I’ve done nothing wrong. Well, technically of course, I have, but for the right reasons. There’s an important difference. I have mitigating circumstances.

‘Oh, Rebecca’s kept it all bubbling along,’ Joshua says jovially. ‘I think she’s quite enjoyed herself.’

‘Oh, I’m sure she has,’ Lorna says. ‘But I’m back now.’

She spends most of the afternoon shut up in her office. Twice she calls Kay to come through, but it’s only to make her a cup of tea. Her phone line is lit up for long periods, but Kay says that when she goes in there Lorna does actually seem to be talking to people this time. She doesn’t know who. I feel sick waiting to see what she’s going to do next. At one point Joshua goes into her room for a few minutes but when he comes out again he seems quite jolly so it doesn’t look like she’s said anything.

Mary rings for me and I tell Kay to tell her that Lorna’s back and to give her the option of speaking to her instead, but she says, no, she’d like to talk to me, but it’s good that Lorna’s back. She fills me in on her audition at
Marlborough Murder Mysteries
, which sounds like it went really well. She sounds so excited and I’m so excited for her, but I feel I should be saying, ‘This is nothing to do with me any more; Lorna’s your real agent.’

When she’s hung up I try to get on top of my work for Joshua and Melanie, my real work, but I’m finding it hard to concentrate. Finally at about four o’clock Lorna calls me and asks me to go into her office. I consider saying, no, go away, leave me alone, but I know I can’t really. I walk in there trying to look as blasé as I can. What? What could be wrong?

Lorna is sitting at the table looking like a primary-school child propped up on cushions behind the teacher’s desk. I hover in the doorway hoping that she’s just got some annoying but simple request that she should really be asking Kay to do. She leaves me standing there, sweating, for a while and then says:

‘Come in and sit down please.’

I do as I’m told and I wait for her to speak.

‘So, I just want to get this straight,’ she says. ‘Jasmine is going to be on
London at Six
every Thursday and this –’ she holds up a copy of the agreed terms; there hasn’t been time for them to get the contract to us yet, it’s been such a rush – ‘is the deal?’

I nod miserably. This feels like a trap.

‘Samuel is on
Nottingham General
?’

‘Yes.’

She holds up another sheet of paper. ‘And the terms are all settled?’

I nod again, too scared to actually say anything.

‘Mary has been for an audition for
Marlborough
and Kathryn has one tomorrow for
Nurses
? And Joy Wright Phillips tells me she is writing again because you told her to do two hours every morning before she did anything else and it’s working.’

‘Is it? That’s great,’ I say before I can stop myself. Lorna ignores me.

‘And Heather, of course, we know, has a meeting with Niall Johnson on Monday.’

More nodding. I’m waiting for the punchline.

‘How about Craig? No commissions from Miramax or promise of his own season at the Bush?’

‘He’s still writing his first draft,’ I say, refusing to rise to the bait. ‘He seems fine, getting on with it.’

‘And this is you just covering for me while I was off sick? Keeping things ticking over?’

‘Exactly.’

‘Not you trying to make yourself look good? Trying to carve out a little niche for Rebecca Morrison while I was away?’

Ah, so this is where we’re going.

‘I told you, obviously not, since I let everyone think I was reporting back to you about everything and acting on your instructions.’

‘And, what? When Joshua or Melanie notice that my clients seem to be doing well you can hold your hand up and say, “Actually, that’s nothing to do with Lorna, that’s all down to me”?’

‘Why would I do that? Like I said, I’d rather they didn’t know anything about it; it’s better for both of us.’

‘Yeah, right. So it was altruism made you work so hard for no credit?’

‘No, Lorna, it was some kind of misguided guilt. I see now that I should have just let you drown. In fact, no, I should have put my foot on your head and made sure you sank.’

She smirks at me. ‘Make me a cup of tea, would you?’

‘I don’t work for you, ask Kay.’

‘I’d hate for Joshua and Melanie to think that you had got so above yourself you wouldn’t even make me a cup of tea.’

‘You know what? You tell them whatever you want to tell them. I’m past caring.’

I turn to leave the room. ‘Oh, and, Lorna, go fuck yourself.’

Well, it’s hardly Oscar Wilde, but it made me feel better.

26

In a way it’s true that I’m past caring what Lorna does to me. So maybe I lose my job, but that wouldn’t be the end of the world. Apart from the fact that we need the money, of course. But I could temp. I can type, I’m fairly personable. Actually, the idea of temping has always filled me with horror, the new faces and strange places every week, but I’d cope. Maybe I’d even grow to like the fact that I didn’t have to spend so much time with anyone that they drove me crazy. And the truth is, I realize, that it’s going to be hard to go back to my job being the way it was. I don’t think I can be happy just passing on messages and filing now I know how much I enjoyed doing more than that. Now I know that I was good at it.

I know I shouldn’t, but I call Kathryn to go over the details for tomorrow because I can’t imagine she’s on Lorna’s list of priorities. Until I know that Lorna is actually back and firing on all cylinders I fully intend to keep an eye on all her clients.

‘You did as much as you could,’ Dan says when I tell him everything that’s happened later. ‘You tried to help her because you’re nice, and because you felt bad about getting in the way of her and Alex, and she’s basically thrown it back in your face. It’s her problem, not yours.’

‘It’s mine if she tells them.’

‘Why would she do that? You made her look good, doing deals from her sick bed and caring enough about her clients to be ringing round getting them auditions while she should have been recovering. She looks like Employee of the Year.’

He’s right, I know he is. But it doesn’t make me feel any better.

I call Isabel to take my mind off things and indulge in a bit of vicarious romance. She’s getting a little twitchy about the fact that their relationship doesn’t seem to have moved on since their trip, though. They haven’t spent a night together since they came back and she’s worried that if they go on like this they’ll start to lose the closeness that was developing between them while they were away.

‘We had our first fight. Well, not really a fight, just a few words, you know.’

‘He might just be a bit scared of commitment after his marriage breaking down,’ I say. ‘God, if that’s the only thing that’s wrong with him, that he likes his own bed, then I really don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about.’

‘He loved you, by the way. Both of you.’

‘What’s not to love?’ I say to make her laugh.

Then she tells me that when they got back from their date last night – to hers before Luke had to go back to Teddington – Alex had been hanging around outside. He tried to make it look like he was just out walking the dog – he took the dog with him when he left, claiming that he was the one who had the time to walk him; still, at least he left the kids – but it was obvious he wasn’t.

‘What did you do?’ I say, incredulous.

‘I introduced him to Luke. What else could I do?’

‘No wonder Luke went home. He probably thought Alex would pop up at the breakfast table if he stayed.’

“I think Alex just wanted to get a look at him. Which is flattering, I suppose.’

‘Psychotic more like.’

‘A lot of what went wrong with our marriage was my fault. I regret that, you know. I think I thought if he really loved me he’d have gone out to work, made more of an effort to support us, but maybe I was wrong…’

This doesn’t sound good. I need to get her off Alex and back on to the wonders of Luke before she does anything she regrets. ‘Isabel, don’t end up going back to him because you feel sorry for him. Give this thing with Luke a chance.’

‘I know. I will. It’s just hard, that’s all. All the girls ever say to me is when is Dad moving back in?’

‘Of course they do, but that’s no reason to go back to an unhappy marriage. Where were they, by the way, while all this was going on?’

‘Oh. At a sleepover. Unlike me.’

‘You’ll sort this overnighting thing with Luke and then it’ll all be perfect. Trust me – you need to stick to your guns.’

*

‘Oh God,’ I say to Dan when I get off the phone. ‘I think Izz is thinking of going back to Alex. Should we tell her the truth?’

‘No,’ he says. ‘It’s nothing to do with us. Let’s keep out of it.’ And then he thinks for a moment and says, ‘What about Luke?’

‘I know. That’s what I said.’

‘I like him. He seems good for her.’

‘I said that too, well, more or less. And you know what really bothers me about all this? Alex doesn’t really want her back. Not properly. He’s just feeling alone and rejected and he thinks that would make him feel better.’

‘It’s still not up to us to tell her that,’ Dan says, and I say I suppose he’s right.

I stagger through to the weekend, avoiding Lorna as much as I can, waiting for the axe to fall. She seems to be coping pretty well; at least, she’s giving the impression of it, which is good enough for now. At one point I hear her telling Joshua that Mary has got the job on
Marlborough Murder Mysteries
and isn’t that brilliant? He congratulates her on finding Mary her first paying job, and such a good one.

‘That’s dedication,’ he says, walking through reception on his way to the kitchen. ‘You’re even getting your clients work when you’re off sick.’

‘Oh well… you know me. I hate just lying around doing nothing,’ she says.

I look at her to see if she’ll even look at me and, to give her credit, she does, just for a moment, and she looks a little guilty. I have no doubt that it’s more because she’s been caught out in front of me than because she feels bad. I’m not sure guilt is in her repertoire.

‘How did you even get them to see her with nothing to show them?’ Joshua says, and I wait to see how she’ll respond to that one. I haven’t told her about filming Mary because she never really gave me a chance.

‘Um…’ she says, looking uncomfortable. ‘Well…’

I don’t know what’s happening to me but I can’t just let her flounder there. Maybe I’m just hoping to shame her with my kindness.

‘Lorna had me and Kay put her on DVD, didn’t you, Lorna? We just got her to read something, that’s all.’

She can’t keep the surprise off her face as she looks at me. But there’s also nervousness there. Is this a trap? Of course she would think like this because I can’t imagine her ever doing anything kind for anyone unless there was a catch. I raise my eyebrows to try to convey that it’s the truth.

‘Mmm,’ she says, and this time she genuinely does look embarrassed at taking the credit right in front of me.

‘Well, you should be very pleased with yourself,’ Joshua says, and Lorna says nothing.

Later I ring Mary who is hysterical with excitement and gratitude. ‘I know you had a big hand in this,’ she says, which goes a long way to making me feel better. Even despite Lorna having to assume the glory I am so pleased for Mary, so genuinely happy for her, that I get a real buzz from her reaction. It carries me through the afternoon. I feel like I’ve eaten Ready Brek. It’s just as well because without that feeling the rest of the day, comprised of typing in the blanks in a contract, arranging a couple of meetings and doing some filing, would be insufferably tedious. I’m finding it hard to believe that until a few weeks ago this was how I spent my days. And I was happy. At least, I thought I was.

We’re seeing Rose and Simon again on Saturday night, but first Isabel and I are meeting to go to Westfield for some Christmas shopping. After we’ve trailed around unproductively for an hour or so we decide that sitting at the champagne bar is much more fun, even though it’s not even midday and neither of us can afford to drink champagne.

‘I had a long talk with Alex this morning,’ she tells me. ‘He came to pick the girls up for ballet. I told him I was serious about Luke. And I meant it. I am. You were so right, he’s good for me in so many ways and I’m happy when I’m with him. Really happy. In a way that I can’t ever remember being with Alex.’

Thank the lord. ‘How did he take it?’

‘Well, he said he was upset but, do you know, I’m not sure he was really. It almost felt like he’s going through the motions, like he doesn’t know what else to do with his life so he thought he might as well see if he could get back with me.’

That’s exactly right. ‘It wouldn’t surprise me. I don’t think he’s stable enough at the moment to know what he really wants.’

‘And it’s funny. It’s Alex being around that’s really made me realize that I want Luke. That and your tireless campaigning.’

‘I like to provide a service.’

‘I’m going to introduce him to the girls. And then, if they get on – which I know they will – I think I might ask him to spend Christmas with us. Him and Charlie. Unless Charlie is with his mum, of course.’

I couldn’t be happier. For Isabel and, if I’m being honest, for myself. I lean over the table and give her a hug, nearly knocking everything on to the floor.

‘You’re going to be happy this time. I know you are.’

Rebecca and Daniel, Luke and Isabel. It works perfectly.

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. She’s got it wrong, she must have. Or else there’s an innocent explanation. I can’t think what that could be, but I’m sure there is one.

Rose has just put her drink down and said, ‘Oh, I know what I meant to tell you. I remembered where I’d seen Luke before.’

‘Oh, right,’ I say, expecting her to say that she’d met him through work or Simon had played football with him once or something.

‘My sister lives in Highgate and he lives on her street. I’ve seen him with his wife…’

‘They’re separated,’ I say quickly.

‘Well, I thought I remembered him saying he was separated, and, of course, he was all over Isabel, but, the thing is, Rebecca, I’ve seen them together recently. Like last week.’

‘They have a kid. He was probably visiting him.’ So he told Isabel they couldn’t stand to be near each other. He was probably just exaggerating a bit. Big deal.

Rose looks at me like she’s about to tell me someone’s died. ‘They were holding hands.’

I look at Dan like he might be able to help me understand what she’s telling us. He looks as clueless as I feel.

‘Maybe it’s his… I don’t know, his sister or something.’

‘Why would he walk down the street holding hands with his sister?’ Simon says, and he’s got a point although I don’t acknowledge it.

‘It’s not his sister,’ Rose says gently, realizing she’s upset me more than she anticipated. ‘He lives there. With his wife and their child.’

‘And you’re sure about this?’ I can’t take it in. Luke walking down the road holding hands with his wife. The wife that he told Isabel he could barely stand to be in the same room as. And then it hits me. Of course, that’s the reason he can never stay the night. It’s not because of work or his fear of commitment. It’s because his wife would want to know where he was. Now I think about it, it suddenly seems so obvious. It makes sense of the fact that he can’t meet up on the weekends too. He’s been using his son as an excuse but, in actual fact, what he should have been saying is, ‘My wife wouldn’t like it, really, if I told her I was going off to see my mistress.’

Oh God. That word. Isabel is a mistress.

‘I take it Isabel has no idea?’ Rose is saying, and I struggle to tune back in.

‘No. God, no, of course not.’

‘She’ll be devastated,’ Dan says, stating the obvious.

‘Well, don’t worry,’ Rose says. ‘I’m not going to say anything. I’ll let you decide how you want to handle it.’

I look at Dan. We’ve – well, let’s face it, I’ve – spent so much time protecting Izz from the full horror of Alex’s behaviour and steering her towards Luke that I have never really even considered whether that was the right thing to do. I just wanted her to be over Alex. I just wanted her to be happy again.

‘I’m going to have to tell her,’ I say. ‘I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I didn’t. You’re definitely sure it’s him?’ I say to Rose and she nods.

‘Definitely.’

She would find out eventually anyway, of course. Luke would duck her invitation to spend Christmas, he’d continue to run home every night and claim childcare duties every weekend. Of course, he’d have to avoid introducing Isabel to Charlie too. Sooner or later she would have realized that something wasn’t right and confronted him. Maybe he was hoping that eventually she’d get bored of the relationship not moving forward and she’d just dump him, or perhaps he intended to finish with her before it all got too serious. Sadly, it may be too late for that in Isabel’s case. With my encouragement she’s latched on to Luke as the great white hope for her future. She’s finally got over Alex and fallen head first into something new that I’ve helped convince her is the answer to all her prayers. I have no idea how I’m going to break it to her that her new relationship is a sham, but I know that I have to do it straight away, before she lets herself get in any deeper.

I can’t believe that Luke took us all in. He had us all falling for him, not just Izz. But how could he do this to her when she was so vulnerable? He probably does it all the time, sweeps lonely women off their feet and then disappears out of their lives mysteriously one night before they’re on to him. I could kill him. I’d enjoy it. But dealing with him has to come later. I need to think how to tell Isabel first.

Needless to say the news rather takes the shine off the evening. We still have a nice enough time, we all get on, but my heart, at least, isn’t really in it.

‘I hope this doesn’t send her running to Alex,’ I say to Dan when we’re getting ready for bed.

‘If it does, it does,’ he says like some kind of wise Chinese philosopher. ‘Let her do whatever she thinks is best for her, OK?’

‘I know, I know.’

On Sunday morning I take William round to Isabel’s with strict instructions to keep the girls amused while their mum and I have a chat. At least I can be sure that Luke won’t be there. He’ll be tucked up in bed with his wife, reading the papers or smiling at her as she brings him bacon and eggs. She’s surprised, but pleased to see me. I try not to look like the bearer of bad news, but she knows me too well and she picks up pretty quickly that something is wrong.

‘Rebecca?’ she says. ‘Are you OK?’

‘Of course,’ I say in return. ‘I’m fine.’