Found at the Library (18 page)

Mac peered up at Stig’s scowling face. Stig never did do well in the early morning.

“I can bribe you with coffee if that will make it better,” Mac offered.

Stig rolled his eyes. “Nothing makes getting up before nine o’clock the week I should be able to sleep in any better, but it will help.”

“I appreciate your help in this, Stig.”

“Just remember it the next time I have a gallery showing. Plan to have your massive wallet nearby,” Stig grumbled.

“How does he seem?” Mac asked. He didn’t have to specify who. Stig already knew what he asked.

Stig waved a weary hand. “Same as you...tired, sad, confused, but maybe a tiny bit hopeful.” Stig scowled. “You better hope this works, because if the bags under your respective eyes get any larger, I’m going to lose my eye candy that makes my new job as errand boy worth it.”

“Well, we couldn’t have that happen, could we?” Mac asked drily.

“Although, I think Tommy’s body makes up for it.” Stig said.

Jealousy, big and green and vicious, raced over Mac’s vision. He’d kill Stig. “What the hell did you say? How the fuck did you see his body?”

Stig stuck up a placating hand. “Relax. Jesus. When I got there yesterday morning, I woke Tommy up, so he slid on a pair of jeans. Your boy is way more cut and fit than I would have expected,” Stig goaded. “I told him if it didn’t work out between you two that he needed to give me a go.”

Mac growled. “Get out. Get out now. And stay the fuck away from Tommy.”

Stig grinned widely. “I’m just giving you a hard time, Mac. But I guess that answers that, doesn’t it? You really are in love with him.”

Yeah, he was, and that had become even more obvious to him this morning as he recorded chapter three of the audiobook for Tommy. Never before had he realized how closely he could relate to this character he’d written.

He glanced over to the beautiful pen and ink drawing Tommy had left on his doorstep. In it, Mac typed on his laptop in the middle of Tommy’s studio under a halo of light. He missed that. He missed Tommy. He needed Tommy to feel the same way.

The fact that Tommy had left the drawing on his porch gave him hope. It might be his imagination, but every time he looked at the drawing his heart swelled. The art evoked a love and passion that Mac had to believe in. Tommy had pushed his way into Mac’s heart. Mac wasn’t willing to let him sneak back out of it now.

***

Installment Three

Working with Thomas was both easier and harder than Rex had ever expected. Easier because he truly liked the man. They had a fuck-ton in common, and their chemistry translated well to friendship, too. But it was also harder because at the most inopportune times, a flash of Thomas pounding into him would light up Rex’s mental syntaxes, driving him absolutely nuts. He stayed on a slow simmer of arousal whenever Thomas was within a mile of him, which was pretty much all the time since they worked together every day.

Rex learned how to live with blue balls. Not exactly a pleasant experience. They were in the middle of a war zone. Neither of them could afford to be distracted, so they worked hard to keep time alone at a minimum.

But he didn’t have to be alone with Thomas to realize how much the man meant to him. It was in his smile. It was in the way his hair curled up back on his collar. It was in how he drank his tea every day, using just a splash of milk. Thomas’s presence made Rex’s life better, happier.

As Rex got to know the real Thomas behind the sexy stranger in the bathroom at the bar, he began to realize what he’d been missing all his life. A connection. His other half. Someone who got him as well as he got himself. They could exchange a single look and have an entire unspoken conversation. It was both a miracle and a terrifying horror.

This couldn’t happen. Not here. Not now. Not in the middle of a war, where neither of them were likely to make it out alive.

...

Tommy almost dreaded chapter four. This morning’s audio had moved him in a way he wasn’t ready to experience. The character, Rex, expressed emotion so beautifully, and it was obvious Rex was falling in love with the character, Thomas.

Was the same thing happening with Mac? Had Mac fallen in love with him? Tommy knew he was trying to tell him something by making him listen to the book, but right now he felt a little hopeful and a lot sick. Rex would lose Thomas. Tommy already had that spoiler from Emily. How would Rex survive that? Why would Mac write the book that way?

Tommy wanted to push pause on the audiobook and walk away. Stop the heartache from happening. A person could cheat like that in a book when they couldn’t in life. As Tommy considered that, he shook his head. Hell, people could quit in life, too. Ryder had tried. Fuck.

Even Tommy had tried. When things had gotten rough between him and Mac, he had told Mac to leave, because he couldn’t deal with that. What was that if not quitting? Not cheating on living life? Yes, there were things in life that a person could know were coming that might hurt, but they kept on, kept trying, hoping for a better outcome. To do any less was cowardly.

Like his mom had told him, “Do Epic Shit.”

A person couldn’t do that without risk.

Installment Four

Today’s operation was an undercover one. Three of Rex’s troops and two from the local militia were infiltrating the market. As the commander, most times Rex didn’t go out with his men. He stayed back so he could oversee the operation from a distance. But today, he’d gone along because they might need his weapons and EOD disarmament expertise.  The other EOD technician within their group had to take emergency leave last week for a situation at home.

As they wove their way through the busy open-market stalls, Rex noticed Thomas’ uneven gait. Normally, Thomas had a fluid grace about him but not today. He was tense, which aggravated an old injury. Was that because of Rex being along or something else? Rex knew as well as any soldier who’d served in a combat zone that survival was based on a lot of intuition.

Rex’s own instincts had gotten rusty over the last couple of years, so he trusted his men more right now than his own gut. If they were jumpy, they probably had a good reason.

They were out here today, searching down a lead on a rumor of some contraband weapons moving through the area. Two factions were trying to start a civil war in this area that had started to show signs of recovery from the war they’d waged here for the last ten years. The black ops groups were here to squash it, although none of the locals realized they were U.S. military. They were here under the guise of American contractors helping to rebuild the infrastructure.

Their meeting at the rug stall went exactly as planned, with Thomas buying a prayer rug, but as they were leaving, it all went to shit.

Panic rolled through the market like a slow, undulating wave. Their trio realized something had happened when the running began. Their two local militia members had already bugged out, so it was just the three of them.

“Thomas, give the rug to Adam. You’re with me while we figure out what’s going on. Adam, get that back to the Corral.” The rug had valuable intel about the planned shipments within the area and the U.S. military needed that. But Rex couldn’t allow anything else to happen here that might destabilize things further, so Thomas and he headed toward the disturbance, fighting through the panicked, fleeing locals.

“Oh, shit.” Thomas stumbled to a halt and grabbed hold of Rex.

Shit was right. A young mother—she couldn’t have been more than twenty—stood at the corner of one of the textile stalls sobbing, clinging to her crying baby. That baby had a bomb strapped around its belly.

They were fucked.

“What are we going to do?” Thomas asked in horror.

Rex took a deep breath. “You’re going to calm her down, and I’m going to see if I can defuse it.”

For a moment, Thomas’s eyes flashed with a mix of anger and fear. It was that fear that got to Rex, because he knew it was a fear for Rex’s life, not his own. Then Thomas gathered himself, remembering his job here....both their jobs. He squared his shoulders and approached the woman, using soft soothing tones as he spoke.

Rex wasn’t as fluent as Thomas, but he could still understand most of what he told her as Thomas talked about Rex’s magic fingers.

...

When Tommy finished this fourth installment of the audiobook, his palms were sweating. How was it possible to get this fueled with adrenaline simply by listening to a book? Maybe because the things happening in this book felt more personal. He already knew Mac had based the characters on the two of them. When reading the book, the events felt so real. Too real, sometimes.

It felt like he had just watched his lover risk his life. How would he feel if Mac died tomorrow? Would a plot point he’d written in a book matter so much? Tommy had accepted that he’d overreacted, but why was he waiting to tell Mac?

He wanted to call, text, something, but he’d told Mac he’d wait until the audiobook was finished. Could he still honor that?

Installment Five

“I’ve tried. Fuck knows. I’ve tried to stay away from you, Thomas.” Rex palmed the side of Thomas’s gorgeous, confused face. “But I can’t do it anymore. I don’t have any resistance left. I want you. I want to kiss you. I want to fuck you. I want you. No.” He shook his head. “I need you to fuck me. I want you in my bed and in my life.”

Rex waited, his nerves buzzing with need, with desperation for that connection. Would Thomas be the voice of reason? They both knew how dangerous this was. For their careers. For their mission. For the very safety of their lives. But Rex had broken. He couldn’t stay away any longer.

Thomas searched Rex’s gaze before his eyes dropped to Rex’s lips. Rex’s mouth went dry and Thomas leaned in. Thomas kissed Rex like they weren’t hiding in the back of the mess hall. He kissed him like Rex’s mouth provided him with the nourishment he needed to live.

Rex kissed him back, just as desperate, just as hard, just as needy. They’d resisted this for so long, but no more...

...

Mac listened to Tommy’s voice in the message again. “Mac, I know you said not to contact you, but I can’t stay away. Today’s section...” Tommy sighed. “Fuck, I’m probably not supposed to talk to you about the book yet. But Mac, I love it. And...” His voice lowered. “I miss you. I don’t care how the book ends. Well, I do, but that’s because of Rex and Thomas. I just wanted you to know that. Hopefully, there aren’t too many chapters in this book so I get to talk to you in person soon.”

Soon
.

Mac dropped his head into his hands. Soon. If Tommy still felt that way after he finished the book. Tommy had to understand what life was like with an author if they were going to make it. He had to understand all of it. The highs. The lows. How much of an emotional toll it took on him and those around him. Because they both had to be sure before they could move forward. It had hurt them both too much already. But if they could make it work, it would be phenomenal.

Mac held onto that hope as he worked on the other sci fi book he had to finish writing. It all had to be done soon. The audiobook, this book coming up on his deadline, and his decision about how to let Tommy back in, if he even could.

Would he ever be able to trust Tommy not to send him away again? They both had some trust to rebuild if they wanted this to work between them.

***

Tommy had expected Mac to call him back. But Mac never did what he expected, so that shouldn’t have surprised him. Emily had been his delivery girl this morning. Stig was sick. She didn’t have the same ease around him that Stig did, though. In fact, she seemed almost wary and angry at him.

“Do you have a problem with me?” he asked her.

“No.” She shook her head. “I have a problem with my friend getting hurt. I’m sure normally you’re a great guy. I’ve seen your art and find it hard to believe that someone who could create so much beauty and capture Mac’s attention could be a truly bad guy. But the fact remains that my best friend is hurting. Because of you. That’s not something I can let go of.”

“Fair enough,” Tommy agreed.

And then Emily left.

The exchange was almost enough to leave a smile on Tommy’s face. It would have been, if he weren’t obsessed with worry over what this chapter held for Rex and Thomas. Would it be something good and hopeful, or would this segment be the start of the downhill slide of their relationship.

Installment Six

This was torture. Rex tried to shift away from the press of Thomas’s thigh in the cramped, dirty hut. If they were alone, it would be no big deal, but they weren’t. Three other members of their team lay here with them and they sure as hell wouldn’t understand why Rex had an erection that simply would not subside.

Just because of Thomas.

The man who had fucked him hard and long just twelve hours ago. That alone should be a deterrent. It had been fast and dirty, and Rex’s ass still continued to twinge.

Thomas hadn’t moved. In fact, Rex had thought his lover had already dropped off to sleep. Nodding off anywhere and everywhere at a moment’s notice was something that Thomas was adept at. It was a necessary skill set for most soldiers, but something Rex couldn’t find in his own arsenal of training tonight.

Thomas suddenly shifted onto his hip and reached across the scant inches separating them and hooked his hand to Rex’s lower back. That’s where he pressed when he wanted Rex to remain docile and still when they had sex. Tonight it had the same effect. His spine loosened.