Fortitude (Heart of Stone) (7 page)

And I missed them with every fibre of my being. I missed
Mason’s special smiles, the sexy one he would always give me that lit me up
inside. I missed his words of love, I missed his arms and his safe hold. I
missed the way he made me feel, I missed how he would make me laugh. I missed
his sexy words when he was inside me. I missed him so damn much that the pain
never seemed to disappear. But I would never let him see me this way. Gone was
his little warrior. She had been replaced with an empty shell. A no one with a
mutilated body, a body I knew he would hate but never say.

I sat at my dresser and piled on layers of camouflage,
hiding the paleness to my skin and the thin blood vessels that had burst
through my bouts of sickness. My hands shook. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t
face the outside world yet, I wasn’t ready.

“Taxi’s here!” Carrie shouted.

I took a deep breath, swallowed back the bile and took my
shaky legs down the stairs.

“Beautiful,” Carrie smiled at me as she adjusted my blond
wig. I hated that too by the way.

I pulled it back and she glowered at me. “Leave it!”

“I hate it, it itches and makes me sweat.”

She pursed her lips, her frustration with me evident on
her pretty face. “Honey, you can’t go in a club wearing a Sons of Anarchy
headscarf, it isn’t done.”

“Fuck them!”

“No,” she murmured as she dragged me out the front door.
“Fuck you, honey.”

She was once again introduced to my tongue.

***

I was absolutely slaughtered. I could hardly see, my legs
were struggling to hold me up and to top it off I’d lost Carrie in the hordes
of revellers. She had given up after hours of trying to persuade me to dance
and had gone in alone, fighting to get to the centre as her lithe little body
had squeezed past people.

The barman grinned at me yet again. Creepy bastard.

Epic night!

I swung round to study the dancers again, hoping to catch
sight of my friends black bob bouncing about. It was impossible, the lights
were streaking the dance floor and morphing each human into its alien
doppelganger.

I needed to pee so badly.

“Hey!” I shouted to the barman, gesturing for him to lean
over the bar as I put my mouth to his ear. “If my friend comes back, can you
tell her I’ve gone to the loo?”

He nodded and gave me a thumbs up with another leery
smile as I slid off the stool and made my way across the bar, using it for
support across the room.

I cringed when I saw the space I needed to cross to get
to the corridor that housed the toilets. “Oh damn.”

I just went for it, giggling to myself as I swung one way
and another. People, mainly men, wrapped their arms around my waist and steered
me across when they figured out which way I was heading.

“That door,” A tall bloke pointed to a door and smiled at
me.

I strained my neck as I ran my eyes up his lengthy body,
“Fucking hell,” I gasped as I stared very rudely at him. “You’re huge.”

His tongue poked through his cheek as he tried to hold
back his laugh. “They all usually say that,” he winked.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my legs, “Oh damn.” I
repeated.

Tall guy laughed then lifted me into his arms and rushed
across the room with me. “Coming through!” he shouted as he bounded through the
ladies bathroom door, past the long line of needy pee-ers and kicked open a
cubicle door. He sat me on the loo then closed his eyes as he shifted my dress
up and his fingers fiddled with the sides of my knickers. “Piss!” he demanded
as his eyes remained screwed tightly shut.

He smirked when I started to wee. “We made it!” he cried
with a grin. “Woohoo!”

“We made it!” I laughed as I continued to pee.

“Good god, are you ever gonna stop?”

I slapped his shoulder and told him I had done. He was so
gentlemanly as he struggled to help me pull everything up with his eyes still
closed that I placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”

He peeked through one eye to make sure I was decent, then
lifted me once more and carried me over to the sinks where he propped me up on
the vanity and washed my hands for me. He never said a word, just concentrated
on his duty, smiling the whole time. “My name is Ava,” I whispered when he
grabbed a paper towel and started to dry my hands.

“Toby,” he introduced.

I quirked an eyebrow at him but he shook his head. “They
named me after the dog.” He openly revealed with a slow nod.

I bit into my lower lip, a funny squeak strangling my
throat as I tried not to laugh. “Well, it’s lovely to meet you Toby.”

“And you, Ava.” He smiled back warmly. “Are you ready?”

I nodded and slid off the unit. He caught me when my legs
gave way. “Whoa, it seems someone’s had a little too much.”

“It seems that someone may be me,” I laughed as he scooped
me back up and carried me through the club.

We hit the mass of dancers as Toby struggled to manoeuvre
me around them. “Hey, my friend!” I cried in his ear when I spotted Carrie’s
black bob.

Toby lifted an eyebrow at me, “You wanna disturb her? She
looks kinda busy.”

I shook my head when I saw her attached to someone’s face
but then she shifted and my world fell apart.

Mason grabbed the back of her neck and pulled my friend
back onto his mouth, his hands sliding around her back to pull her even further
into him.

Toby snapped his face towards me when the weird noise
echoed from my lungs. “Hey?” he asked with a worried expression. “Are you
okay?”

I shook my head at him, desperately trying to hide the
tears from him. “I want to go home.”

“I’ll just go get your friend.”

I shook my head and grabbed at him. “No!”

“But…”

“No,” I spat, “Just get me into a taxi, please.”

He shrugged then did as I asked but just as he was about
to shut the car door I took his hand. He crouched in the door and looked at me
expectantly. “Thank you for this.”

He smiled and ran a finger down my nose. “Gimme your
phone.”

I pulled it from my bag and he took it from me, pressed
at some keys until his own phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out, winked
at me then closed the door and patted the roof.

“Where to love?” the driver asked.

“Home,” I sighed as the tears started to fall when
shadows of Mason’s mouth on my friend gripped at my heart. “I want to go home.”

“I need a drink,” Carrie shouted above the noise. I gave
her a nod and followed her across the floor to the bar.

She stood still, her head twisting left and right as
though she was looking for something. “Are you okay?” I asked as she continued
to search the area, her little body spinning round in circles.

“My friend.”

I frowned and shook my head, “I didn’t know you were with
anyone.”

“Ava!” she shouted as she hollered into her hands.

The hairs on the back of my neck reared to attention as
my gut coiled. “Ava?”

She nodded as she leaned across the bar to the barman.
“Where’s my friend?”

“Toilet,” he shouted to her.

She sighed with relief but I turned to face the toilet
doors, studying each person as they came out. It had to be her, her name was
fairly unique and uncommon.

“Carrie?” A tall guy asked as he approached Carrie. She
nodded and frowned at him, her eyes roaming his body appreciatively. He smiled
back at her, “Ava went home. She saw you with someone so left you to it, but I
just thought you should know that she left.”

My knees buckled and I grabbed hold of the chair.

Shit. Shit. Fuck.

“She saw us kissing?” I asked as I grabbed hold of his
wrist a little too firmly. He narrowed his eyes on me.

“Yeah, like I said, she said to leave you both to it and
I put her in a taxi. She was a little far gone.”

“Fuck!”

“Are you okay?” Carrie asked when she saw me pale.

“No,” I shook my head frantically and grabbed her arms.
“Where is she?”

“Hey,” the tall guy cut in. “Chill the fuck out mate.”

I turned to him slowly, realisation just hitting me. “And
what were you doing with her?”

“With who?” he asked as he shook his head in
bewilderment.

“My fucking wife, arsehole.”

“Whoa.” He held up his hands and shook his head again. “I
didn’t know she was your wife, I didn’t even know she was married.”

“You’re married?” Carrie asked as her eyes widened.

“Yes,” I nodded then shook my head. “Well, no…”

“Listen,” Tall guy said. “For one, I didn’t do anything
with her. I just helped her to the toilet. And for two, no wonder she freaked
out, she watched you kissing her fucking friend. In my book, that’s pretty
low.”

“I didn’t know she was her mate.” I defended as I turned
to Carrie and glared at her.

“Don’t look at me either. I didn’t know you were her
husband.”

It was all such a fucking mess. “Do you know where she
is?” I asked as I dropped her arms from my grip.

“Yes,” she nodded. “But I don’t think she wants to see
you. She told me she was done with you.”

Her words cut deep, even more painful than when Ava had
said them. Women always confided in their friends and told them the truth. And
I had honestly thought Ava was just protecting me, but that she still loved me.
If she had told her friend she didn’t want me, then it must be true.

But I still needed to see her. Just once more, just to
give my heart that little jolt it had missed so much. Just to give my soul a
moment’s peace.

“Please, I just want to talk to her. You know, chat over
coffee and catch up.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Tall guy said.

I spun round and grabbed his throat, “I don’t give a fuck
what you think’s a good idea or not. She’s mine, remember that.”

“Hey, calm down.” Carrie took hold of my hand and turned
me to face her. “If you don’t calm down, I won’t be taking you anywhere.”

I dropped my hand and managed a sorry, just for face
value, I’d have loved to beat the shit out of him for even looking at Ava, but
that wouldn’t be a good idea in the middle of the club.

“There is no way you are going to see her like that,” he
defended as he rubbed at his neck. “She could barely stand.”

Carrie sighed and closed her eyes. “Mason.” I turned to
her when I caught her worried tone. “She isn’t the Ava you know anymore. She
has been through so much that it has stripped her complete identity.”

Her honesty stabbed me, the thought of what my little
warrior had gone through alone hurt more than I could stomach. “Please,” I
begged once more. “She cut me off so bluntly that I didn’t even get chance to
say goodbye. I just need to see her. Please.”

“Right, okay.” She conceded and gave a shrug. “On your
head be it.”

“No way are you going there alone. I’ll come with you,”
Tall guy insisted.

I spun round to glare at him. “What the fuck does it have
to do with you?”

He stepped into me, his eyes firing furiously. I realised
he was tougher than I originally thought, I had just caught him by surprise.
And the way he had relaxed in my hold should have told me he was a professional
fighter, but I had been too riled up to notice it. I would never admit it, but
I respected him more for knowing that he was willing to stick up for Ava, even
if he hardly knew her.

“I picked up your wife. I also frequently pick up my nine
year old little girl, and let me tell you, my daughter weighs more than your
wife. I could feel every single one of her ribs through her dress. I could also
feel the pain radiating from her. She is in no position to fight you off if
needs be.” He glared at me resolutely. “I come with you or I’ll make sure you
don’t leave this building walking.”

I smirked at him. “You want a job?”

He blinked at me in shock. “What the…”

I stuck out my hand to him. “Mason Fox.”

His eyes widened and he stepped back. “Fuck! I just
pulled Mason Fox’s wife’s knickers down in the toil….”

He went down faster than I thought he would but he
laughed and got back up without even wincing before he stuck out his hand in
return. “I closed my eyes.” I shrugged, pacified by his honesty and apology.
“Toby Kirkland. And I’m open to offers Mr Fox.”

“We’ll talk on the way. I need to see my wife.”

“Lead the way!” We both said to Carrie.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. “Okay. Come on, but I’m
warning both of you, I don’t care how fucking hard you are, you upset Ava then
you’ll get to see my bad side.”

I lifted a brow and smiled at her. “Job offers open to
you too.”

She laughed and shook her head. “I’m fine just nursing
your wife at the moment.”

I winced at the thought of Ava being cared for. She would
hate that. Losing her independence was the last thing she would ever cope with.
I just wished she’d have let me be the one to care for her.

“Come on, we’re wasting time. My eyes are eager to see
her.”

“Mason,” Carrie said softly as she stopped me with a firm
grip. “You must remember what I said, Ava isn’t the Ava you know now.”

“I don’t care, Carrie. She’ll always be my Ava, whatever
she looks like, whether her breasts and hair have gone, she still owns me, all
of me.”

She nodded. “Then don’t hurt her with looks, because
believe me I’ve worked with a lot of cancer victims and the first thing she
will look for is your initial reaction to her looks. And I told you, you hurt
her and I will watch you beg on your knees as I hurt you.”

I grinned at her, “Fuck, you’re a pitbull.”

She laughed as she walked towards the doors, “Nah, I’m a
viper and my bite will kill.”

“Fair do’s” I acknowledged. “You must have something to
put up with Ava’s poorly side for so long.”