Fortitude (Heart of Stone) (5 page)

You kept me alive when the darkness threatened, Mason.
You held me up when hell wanted to swallow me whole. You took on my past and
you freed me from it, and now it is my turn to return your freedom so you can
live for the future.

You will never leave me, ever. I will always be yours.
My heart will always belong to you, all of it.

I’m going away now. Please, please, if you can’t ever
promise me anything else, promise me that you will let me go. Give me the peace
I need to say goodbye.

Take care of our babies, raise them as we have
together and nurture them, Mason. But above all, love them, fucking love them
and never let them forget.

Goodbye, my darling. You will forever feel me with
you, because you own me, all of me forever.

I love you, wholly and entirely, always and forever.

Your little warrior.

Your heart.

Kade found me twenty minutes later, my hands bleeding, high
as fuck, sat rocking in the corner of the trashed bedroom.

The stool moved under me, rocking from side to side and I
grabbed hold of the edge of the bar to steady myself. Glen, the bartender,
smirked at me, “Steady on, love.”

I shrugged. Fuck him. I’d found the small bar at the edge
of the city and deemed it a safe zone, far away from where Mason and my friends
frequented. It was the first time I’d ventured out since leaving. My supply of
cash had withered away, and I’d had to find a cash point but had then spotted
the pub and decided to waste away in there instead of in front of the TV.

It was a lively place, with karaoke and a small dance
floor to one side, and a quieter section where I was, on the other side.

“I’m still too steady,” I informed him as I pushed my
glass towards him.

He shook his head but shrugged as he took it from me,
“Same again?”

I nodded firmly, “Same again.”

I slid the money to him, giving him a humungous tip when
I refused the change and downed the vodka and cranberry, once again sliding the
empty glass in his direction. “Do you have a death wish?” he asked when he
sighed and refilled my glass again.

I laughed at him, “Yep, might as well get it over with.”

He frowned at me but then shifted his eyes to the person
who slid onto the stool beside me. I watched him narrow his eyes on my neighbour
before I turned to study who had got his back up.

The black haired guy seemed familiar and I pursed my lips
as I studied him intensely. “Do you always have to look at me like you wanna
devour me, Ms Fox?”

I stared at him in confusion before it clicked. “Mr
Steed.”

He grinned at me as he gestured for Glen to refill my
glass, “And a Jack, no ice for me, Glen.”

“Steed,” Glen warned. “We both know who she is. She has a
death wish, don’t you join her.”

I snapped my head towards Glen, “How do you know who I
am?”

He shook his head as if I was stupid, “Ava Fox, everyone
knows who you are. Your family makes sure everyone knows who they are.”

He studied me when the panic hit my face. I had managed
to stay out of Mason’s radar for six weeks and now just because I had needed a
drink, he would be close to finding me. Stupid. Stupid.

“You mustn’t tell them I have been here.”

“Why?”

“Because… you just can’t. Believe me if my ex-husband
finds out you let me get this drunk, he’ll crucify you.” I lied, trying
anything to make him hold onto my secrets.

“Ava,” Steed probed, “you said
ex
-husband.”

I nodded and swallowed back the rest of my drink. “Yes. I
did.”

“Wow.” He blew out a breath and stared at his drink.

“Mr Steed…”

“Ava, call me Dane, please.”

I shook my head at him furiously, “No, I can’t do that.”

“Why? It’s just a name.”

“No,” I told him seriously, the alcohol slurring my words
and making me sombre. “It isn’t just a name to me. It’s a nightmare, it’s a
curse.”

His eyes widened on me. I knew he thought I was crazy but
he sighed heavily. “Fine, call me Steed then. I can’t be doing with the mister
part.”

I nodded in confirmation, blinking as my head swayed
heavily with the movement. “Another?” Steed asked with a sly smirk.

“Are you trying to get me on my back?” I asked as I
narrowed my eyes on him.

“I once asked you for a fuck and if I remember rightly,
you told me the only person you ever fucked was your husband.” He leaned across
the bar until his mouth brushed over my ear. “Well now, forgive me if I’m
wrong, but now, right the fuck now, I’d say you’re available.”

I shivered when he took hold of my chin between his
fingers and turned my face towards him, his piercing blue eyes delving inside
me. “And I lay claim, darlin’. You’re now mine.”

“Steed…”

He shook his head, his face drawing closer. “You need to
fuck, Ava. I can smell it on you. But I’m warning you, I don’t fuck nicely. I
fuck with pain and lots of it but I’m guessing that’s exactly how you liked to
be fucked.”

***

His fists ripped at my hair as we fell through my front
door, the handle banging off the wall where Mason had once pinned me up and
fucked me hard. I grabbed at Steed harder, trying to force the memories away.

His kiss was furious and spiteful, his dominant streak
taking from me what I was willing to give. His fingers dug into my cheeks as he
cupped my face and slanted my head so he could take more and more, his tongue
fighting angrily with mine, the muscle dictating and forceful.

He pulled back and glared at me, his chest heaving as his
tongue ran over his lower lip, lapping at the blood I had brought forward with
the bite. I gasped when he yanked my head back. “You like it hard, darlin’?
Then let me oblige.”

I whimpered when he dragged me up the stairs, not
violently but with just enough hold to make me pant and greedily need more from
him.

I knew this was gonna rip me in two. I hadn’t been with
another in twenty years and Steed’s dominance and anger would help me cope with
this.

He let go of me when we reached the bedroom. “Stand
still,” he ordered. I was struggling to breathe. My body was on fire, every
single tiny hair on my body begging for stimuli as my thighs started to
tremble.

He circled me, his finger lightly perusing me along with
his eyes. He came to rest behind me, leaving me on high alert and ready for
begging. His arms slid around me until he was clutching the silk of my shirt in
his hands.

I hissed when he yanked and ripped open my blouse,
buttons pinging across the room as he tugged the material off me.

His gasp made me cringe as he traced each of my scars
with the tip of his finger. “Shush, keep still.”

His bluntness made me obey, allowing him to silently
study each mutilation. “Please…” I whispered. I hated his inspection. He was
too quiet, making me detest my body and wishing he would at least just walk
away if I repulsed him.

He walked round me until he was stood before me. His eyes
narrowed on me before he gripped the hem of his shirt and yanked off his own
top. I licked my lips as my eyes feasted on his ripped body, his abs sleek and
defined.

But then he turned around and it was my turn to gasp.
“Mirror images darlin’.”

I stared at his own welts, hundreds of them tore across
his back, their angry red marks defacing his otherwise perfect body. He hissed
when I reached out and followed each of their pathways, gently determining what
instrument had caused which blemish.

My head tilted and I frowned when I noticed the poker
burns. “Oh my.”

He nodded, “See Ava, we’re replicas of each other.” He
turned back round to face me. “So don’t ever be ashamed of your body. You are
fucking stunning. You make my dick so hard that I’m scared to death of coming
before I’m even inside you.”

He cupped my breasts and I closed my eyes, fighting the
pain that tore through my heart at another man’s hands on me.

“On your knees,” he whispered against me, causing me to
jump in surprise to his closeness.

I nodded frantically, clenching my teeth at the agony
tearing through me at what I was about to do as I slowly got down on my knees
before him.

I felt him crouch behind me and I fought back the tears
that rimmed my eyes. I needed to do this. I needed to move on.

I wanted to do this.

I wanted to move on.

I wanted to die.

“Shush,” Steed soothed as he pulled me back against him.
I hadn’t realised I was sobbing until he lifted me onto his lap and wrapped me
tightly in his arms. “Good girl,” he soothed into my ear, his warm breath tickling
the chill in my tears.

My heart broke as each sob tore me to pieces. “I can’t,”
I cried into him as I clung onto him.

He took every sob, every cry and every agonising scream
from me, making them his own as he sat silently letting me release and use him
for support while he rocked me gently in his arms. “I know, darlin’.”

“You know?” I hiccupped as I lifted my face to him.

He nodded and swiped at my tears with his thumb. “Your
man has been ripping the city apart looking for you, how could I
not
know.”

“I don’t understand?”

He looked at his watch and smiled at me. “Prepare to be
stormed in around thirty seconds, darlin’.”

“What?” I scrambled off him, shaking my head desperately.
“What have you done?”

I fell to my knees again when I heard the wood splinter
in the door and then heavy footsteps on the stairs. “What have you done?” I
repeated just as my glorious bastard kicked my bedroom door open.

I stared at her. Fuck, she was so damn perfect, so
fucking beautiful. I felt like I had come home. My body shot to life as my eyes
drank her in, each fibre in my system electrifying at her closeness. My soul
sobbed with relief as my heart found the regular rhythm that had abandoned it
six weeks ago, six – long – torturous – fucking – weeks.

She remained on her knees looking up at me, her face red
and blotchy from her tears. It was then I noticed she was just in a skirt and
bra. Panic and anger overtook then as I slowly turned my head to see Steed
topless and watching us serenely from the edge of the room.

I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes on him, my wrath
just bubbling under the surface. “Did you touch her?”

He didn’t need to answer. His expression told me all I
needed.

“MASON!” Ava screamed as her tiny hands pulled at me.
“Stop!”

I blinked, pushing her away. She fell backwards, her
backside hitting the floor with an oomph. Life seemed to slap back at me suddenly.

What the hell?

Steed was curled in the corner, bleeding and desperately
trying to protect himself. Ava sat sobbing on the other side. And my knuckles
hurt.

I spun round to face her, barely holding on to sanity
never mind patience. “Did you fuck him?”

“What, no!” she spluttered.

“Did you kiss him?”

She scrambled to her feet and came to face me but I saw
her fear and her anguish. “I haven’t seen you for six damn weeks and all you
can ask is if I fucked another man?”

I closed my eyes and blew out the steady breath that was
burning my lungs then took her face in mine, my hand sliding around the side of
her face as though it had been moulded for just me. “Did – you – kiss – him?”

She held my gaze, her eyes stormy and dark. “Yes.” She
inched closer to me, “Yes, I kissed him Mason. I had his tongue in my throat, I
had his hands in my hair and then on my tits.”

And then I snapped. Viciously and very violently.

“Get out!” Ava screamed at Steed as I destroyed the
bedroom, ripping the furniture apart with my bare hands as things splintered
everywhere. The bed was torn to pieces, the bedding ripping like paper between
my fingers as my fists destroyed the walls. The mirror was plucked from the
dresser before it shattered against the headboard of the bed. The dresser was
next, the sleek mahogany nothing against the rage flowing through me.

I finally turned to leave but stilled when I saw Ava
stood with her back to the door watching me. She was calm and casual, her arms
crossed over her chest. “Finished?”

“Don’t push me, Ava.”

She chuckled with bitterness and shook her head as she
took a step towards me. “Now you can leave.”

She was too detached, too aloof and indifferent to my
wrath. The chill from her settled into my bones as her unemotional eyes
continued to watch me. “No.” I answered bluntly.

She pursed her lips and stepped into me again. She closed
her eyes for a moment before she reopened them and I gulped at the iciness in
her stare. “I asked you to leave. I don’t want you. I don’t like you. I don’t
even fucking love you, so get – the – fuck – out!”

I always wondered what it would feel like to hear her say
she didn’t love me anymore. But I had never imagined the horrific agony that
tore through me as my whole soul burst into flames. My knees buckled as I
stared at her. She stared back, determination and resolve radiating from her in
suffocating waves.

“No,” I shook my head at her as I went to reach for her.
“Ava, please,” I begged when she took a step back and removed herself from
arm’s length.

“Get out,” she whispered.

“No,” I choked out as I reached for her again.

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” She screamed at me, her face morphing
into something I had never witnessed in her before. “Go get high, Mason.
Obliterate us both from your life. I’m done, I’m finished.”