Forsaking Gray (The Colloway Brothers Book 1) (6 page)

“See what I mean?” I heard Ash say. “You talk to him and he just zones out, like there’s a fucking carnival going on in his head. If he does that at the board meeting next week; that will not be good.”

“Nothing is wrong,” I pipe up. “Jesus, stop being so damn melodramatic, Ash. I thought you gave up acting in like the ninth grade.”

“Hey, I told you that was just a phase, asshole. Jesus, let it go already.”

“Not a chance in hell,” I chuckle. Asher hated it when we brought up his “theatre days.” He played Putzie, one of the lesser—or should I say
unknown
—members of the T-Birds in the ninth grade musical
Grease
. To this day, we’ll still randomly plant pictures of birds, or crudely cut “T’s” in his car or his apartment or a meeting folder. But we stopped calling him Putz a few years ago when he planted me on my ass with a wicked right hook.

“Ash is right, brother,” Conn interrupted, veering us back to their misguided path. “You’ve been moody, short-tempered and very distracted. You’re usually nose-to-the-grindstone non-stop. Camille told me you’ve missed two meetings with her over the last three weeks.”

Shit
. Camille is my head of Human Resources. Bonnie is retiring in only a few short weeks and I need to find a new assistant. Fast. Half of me is in denial. Bonnie has been with me since I started working at my father’s company over six years ago. She knows me inside and out. She knows my style and she anticipates my needs. She’s simply a treasure and will be impossible to replace. I even tried bribing her with a huge pay increase to stay, but her husband retired last year and has been pestering her to do the same so they can travel and spend more time with their kids and grandkids.

“I’ve been busy.”

“Well, you’re going to be admin-less if you don’t get your shit together. And you can’t have mine,” Conn quipped. Conn’s assistant is a young, voluptuous hottie that I’m quite sure my brother only hired because she has a healthy set of DD’s that she readily puts on display. I warned him against tapping that, but I highly doubt he took my advice. Conn has a hard time keeping the one-eyed snake in his pants around any beautiful woman. And with his rough, magazine-cover good looks, he has no issues landing them.

“What gives, Gray? If you can’t talk to
us
, who can you talk to?” Conn asks me softly, genuine concern creasing his forehead.

I silently stand and walk the short distance to the window, putting my back to them. For some reason, I’m unable to look at their faces when I tell them that I’ve found her again, and this time I’m not going to give her up. They will
not
be happy and they will
not
be supportive. Livvy not only broke my heart, she broke my spirit, and my brothers were left behind to pick up the bloody, shattered pieces as best as they could. She changed me. Not for the better. I can’t bear to see their disapproval when I tell them I plan to hunt her down and make her mine again.

“I saw Livvy at a fundraiser a few weeks ago. I think she’s living in Chicago. I’ve hired a private detective to find her.”

Ash stood up so fast, the chair he was sitting on went flying behind him. “What the fuck, Gray! That bitch ruined your life!”

Now I do turn back around, and the look of rage on my face makes my little brother freeze, but my calm, icy voice is even more menacing. “If you call her that again, I can assure you that your pretty face won’t look so fucking pretty after I get through beating the shit out of you. Try explaining
that
at the board meeting, brother.”

At six feet two inches, both of my brothers are the same height, but I tower above them by a good two inches and at least twenty pounds of solid muscle, thanks to the time I put in with my personal trainer three times a week. I can take Ash down easily and he knows it. Over the last couple of years, Conn has put on quite a bit more muscle, but I still think I could take him if he pushes me.

And they know I’m not blowing smoke up their asses with my threat.

Ash laughs, and some of the tension fizzles. “Is this going to be another repeat of Penny James?”

Penny James was the last girl we got into physical blows over. When I was a freshman in college, unbeknownst to either Asher or I, Penny started dating us both. But while the cat is away, the mice will play. Turns out it didn’t matter which Colloway brother she was fucking, as long as she wormed her way into one of our hearts…and our wallets.

It all came to a head when I came home for Christmas break. Penny said she had some family obligation and Ash was out on a date. Let’s just say things got pretty heated on Vincent and DuPaul streets when I saw them walking out, hand in hand, on my way into Rizz’s Tavern across from the diner they were leaving. Ash ended up with a broken nose and a cracked tooth and pretty healthy shiner for about two weeks. Last I heard, Penny had filed for her third divorce.

“You’re not fucking Livvy are you?” Of course, I knew he wasn’t, but if I thought another man’s hands on my woman had my vision turning a hazy, violent red, the thought of one of my
brothers’
hands on her made me homicidal.

“Jesus Christ, Gray. You need to get ahold of yourself, man. After what she did to you, if I ever see her again, fucking her is the
last
thing I’ll do,” Ash bellowed.

“We’re just worried about you, Gray. She destroyed you before,” Conn said.

“I know,” I sigh, sitting back down. “There is no possible way I can make either of you understand.” Conn had a thing for a girl way back in high school, but nothing serious since then, and Ash had his heart stomped on by the woman he was about to propose to, so he’s pretty cynical about relationships in general. I’m not sure either of them could possibly understand the bone-deep love I have for this woman. She’s part of me, surely as if she’s been woven into my own flesh. Neither of them had yet met the woman who breathed the very life into their lungs. I had.

“Did you talk to her at the fundraiser?” Conn asked cautiously. I knew where this was going.

“Briefly.”

Ash and Conn looked at each other knowingly, and I knew exactly what they were thinking.
I
was thinking the same thing, which is why I agonized over calling Burt. If she wanted to talk to me, she would have given me her phone number. She wouldn’t have run. I wouldn’t have had to hire a private detective to track her ass down. And if she really wanted me,
she
would have found
me
. Hell, she never would have left me to begin with.

I know this. I know it all. And I don’t give a shit. There is something bigger going on here. I
feel
it seething in my gut. Even more deeply than the day she left me. I’m going to find out what the hell it is, because while Livvy’s lips told me she wouldn’t see me, her body, and more importantly, her eyes, didn’t relay that same lie.

The moment I touched her, I heard her breath hitch. I saw the flush of desire on her fair skin, and there was no mistaking the lust and longing in her expressive emerald eyes. I know, because she had the same effect on me. Her feeble attempt at cool and aloof fell flat on its face.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Gray,” Ash sighed as he stood to leave.

“I do.” What I don’t add is
too
. Thankfully they both depart without another word. I understand their concern because if the roles were reversed, I’m pretty sure I would react the same way. The Colloway brothers are enormously protective of one another.

My cell rings. It’s Lena. I roll my eyes, not answering. I normally didn’t keep women around as long as I had Lena. I never should have let this thing with her go on as long as it did, but quite frankly, I’ve gotten lazy. I’m tired of trying to find new women to sate my needs. It’s not particularly easy finding a mentally stable, somewhat intelligent, attractive woman who wants a no-strings relationship.

But now that Livvy was back, I wasn’t going to have to go through that process anymore. Because, unbeknownst to her, that woman would be
her
. But there would be so many fucking strings attached, she’d never get untangled this time. Just as soon as that incompetent PI finds her.

Livvy is hiding something, or behind something, but come hell or high water, I will find out what it is. I will incinerate it. I will obliterate any and every barrier that stands between us and the happiness we deserve.

Because out of everything that I saw that night at the fundraiser, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I saw
love
still swimming in her teary eyes as she turned and fled.

Chapter 6

He’s on one knee in front of me and I can’t breathe. I can’t hear anything through the roar of blood rushing like Niagara Falls in my ears. I watch his mouth move. I watch him pull out a fancy jewelry box from his coat pocket and open it. I watch a lone tear slowly streak down his cheek.

Then I’m on the ground with him, throwing my arms around his neck, whispering yes, yes, yes and kissing him everywhere my mouth can reach.

I don’t care that we’re in public, kneeling on the dingy, greasy floor of Rocky’s. The only thing I see is the man I love with every fiber of my being. The only thing I hear is him murmuring words of undying love in my ear. The only thing I feel is his strong, comforting arms cradling me tightly to his hard, sinewy body. A body that I want more than anything else at the moment.

“Take me home and make love to me,” I beg. I don’t want to be here anymore and I don’t know if I can wait the half hour drive to his apartment before he sinks inside of me. In fact, I know I can’t.

Standing, I take his hand and drag him from the floor, quickly walking through the restaurant to the Employees Only area, which I can easily access because I work here. Pushing the door open and pulling him through with me, I shut and lock it and pull his mouth to mine on a groan, turning our bodies so his back presses against the door. I fumble with his belt buckle as I break our kiss and trail my lips eagerly down his neck.

“What are you doing, angel?” he rasps, his breathing erratic.

“I need you in my mouth. Right now.” I now had his jeans pulled down his thighs and was already on my knees in front of him, sinking his throbbing cock impatiently between my lips. The taste of his pre-come had me moaning, taking him deep.

“Christ, Livvy. You suck me so good.” His hips push forward, and his hand threads tightly through my hair. I look up to snare his hooded, desire-filled eyes with mine. “Harder, angel,” he demands. When I increase my pressure, his eyes break contact with mine and roll back as his head falls against the wood. “Fuck, yes. Just like that.”

I know every single thing my man loves. I know how to strum his body expertly, as he does mine, so I lightly fondle his balls, reaching back with a finger to gently stroke his perineum. His cock swells, his thrusts increase violently, and my scalp stings from how hard he grips my hair. “I’m gonna come, baby.”

Seconds later, loud bellows that can’t be mistaken for anything other than one in the throes of an orgasm, echo off the four thin walls of the lounge. I swallow every drop of his salty goodness and continue licking him until he softens.

Strong arms reach under mine and he pulls me to him, grabbing my lips in a bruising kiss. “Let’s go home. I want to fuck my new fiancée properly in private. Only my ears will hear you moan and scream for me.” His silky voice feathers in my ear, causing goose bumps to blanket every inch of flesh.

“I love you Gray Colloway.”

“Not half as much as I love you, my soon-to-be wife.”

I wake from my dream with tears streaming down my face. I haven’t dreamed about the night Gray asked me to marry him in years. It shreds my already butchered heart to microscopic pieces. I was deliriously happy that night. We went back to his place and made love until the sun rose.

After only four hours of sleep, my father called, begging me to come home. He sounded scared. I thought something had happened to Alyse. It wouldn’t have been the first time. I left my sleeping fiancé a note that I’d be back soon, but when I got home, Alyse was nowhere to be found. Instead, standing in my father’s living room was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And he was surrounded by his gun-toting, roughneck pack mates. I’m here to tell you, a loaded gun in your face by someone who isn’t afraid to use it will make you do just about anything.

The next choked words out of my father’s bleeding mouth changed my life.
“They’re here for Alyse.”

My father.
I had missed so much of my life because of my father, because of his weaknesses. Peter Wilder may be the monster that literally held my life, and that of my family’s, in his hands, but my father was the catalyst. The decisions he made led us all to where we all are today. His greed, his lack of integrity and his selfishness had far reaching effects on so many lives.