Forsaking Gray (The Colloway Brothers Book 1) (5 page)

“Any other pertinent information?”

I relay her description, date of birth and give Burt Livvy’s father’s address as I last knew it.

As I place the phone back into the receiver, Bonnie’s voice fills my office yet again. “Mr. Colloway, Ms. Ramsey’s on line two.”

Christ, I am in no mood to deal with Lena today. Or
ever
. Sensing I’ve been pulling away, she’s been a stage five clinger these past two weeks, and it’s time to cut her loose. I should have never have taken her to the fundraiser after she’d casually mentioned going to her parents for the holidays, which are still
months
away yet, but I loathe attending those events alone.

But I do with Lena what I’ve done with every other woman since Livvy. I use her. Judge me if you want, but she’s just a warm body and a tight pussy, nothing else. I’m not serious about her in the slightest and it appears she’s starting to hear the Wedding March, so it’s time. Lena’s just another stand-in for the woman that my mind pathetically won’t let go.

They all are.

“Tell Ms. Ramsey that I’m busy for the remainder of the day. In fact, tell her I’ll be out of the country on business for the next week.”

“Of course, Mr. Colloway.” Gotta love Bonnie. She does whatever I ask. No questions.

I don’t really know what I’ll do when I finally find Livvy. Because I
will
find her. I’ll use every resource at my now extensive disposal to do so. I’ve pined after her memory for years and seeing her now, healthy and alive, my anger and hurt came back with renewed vengeance.

So when I sit down across from Livvy and force her to tell me why she left, will I finally be able to forgive her and get the closure I long for? Or will I strip her down and fuck her raw, like the visceral need inside clawed at me to do?

I despise myself for wanting her so much. Despite the fact that she ripped the beating heart out of my chest, after seeing her again…fucking her until she screams for me is all I can think about. All I want with a desperation that borders on obsession.

So…maybe I’ll do both. Maybe I’ll fuck her one more time so I can finally forget about the woman who ruined me so long ago. Maybe then I can finally stop seeing her face in every other woman I take.

Then I can walk away.
Will
walk away. My heart will remain unscathed because it’s already dead. Mangled beyond all repair.
By her.

But even as I think it, I know I can’t do it. I know I’m lying to myself.

Fuck her?
Absolutely.

Walk away from her?
Not a hot chance in hell.

I already know that once I find her again, no matter the reason, I can’t walk away from the one woman who, whether she knows it or not, whether she
wants
me or not, still owns every part of me. Regardless of why she left, regardless of the pain she’s caused me, and regardless of if she’s over me…I am
not
over her.

And I never will be.

The moment I set eyes on Livia Kingsley, my heart started beating again and I felt like I could take a full breath for the first time since she disappeared. I felt alive. The only way I can continue feeling that way is to make her mine again.

If she thought I was relentless pursuing her the first time, watch out Livia Kingsley. “Because you ain’t seen nothing yet, angel,” I whisper.

Chapter 4

“How’s your first week going?” Emma asks, approaching my desk.

Just fucking jolly.

“It’s been a little stressful,” I reply, holding up a finger as I answer the incessantly ringing phone, telling the caller Mr. Nichols is in a meeting for the day and patching them through to his voice mail.

“Shit luck that Connie went into labor early, isn’t it?” Emma said.

“You’re telling me,” I mumble, answering another call.

Blowing a long strand of dark hair out of my eyes that had fallen out of my ponytail, I look back up at Emma. At a petite five foot two inches, Emma is another executive assistant on this floor and is as stunning as she is tiny. She can’t weigh a hundred pounds wet, but she has the biggest boobs I have ever seen on someone that small. And she must have been born without a filter because the things that come out of her mouth would embarrass a sailor. I’m no prude, but I’m not nearly as crude as Emma. On the first day we met, she made a point to tell me her boobs were not fake and even told me to feel them.

Um…I passed and I may have been awkwardly, covertly glancing at them ever since, wondering…

But despite, or maybe even because of her directness, I like Emma, and she’s been my godsend this week.

After only two days of training, Connie’s water broke at work and just three hours later she had a happy, healthy baby boy, whom they’d named Roberto, after her husband’s side of the family. He was like the tenth Roberto or something like that. And what woman has their first baby in three hours? I would never get that lucky. Not that I’ll get the chance.

“Did you see the pictures of little Roberto? Isn’t he so adorable? And all that black hair! It’s so thick, it looks like he needs a haircut already.”

“Yeah, he’s very beautiful.” A little pang of sadness and envy rushes hot through my veins. Sadness at what was taken from me. Envy for what I’ll never have. Because of a monster. My face must have fallen, because I feel a hand on my shoulder and when I focus back on Emma, hers is etched with concern.

“Are you okay, Livia?”

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine.”

She smiles, but it’s one of sympathy. “How about lunch today?”

I sigh. “I can’t, Emma. I have to get the status on a few patents, file Mr. Nichols’ expense reports, which are late, and try to duplicate last quarter’s presentation for the board meeting next week. Connie was trying to finish all of that before she had the baby, but never got a chance to show me what to do or where to pull the information from.” And on top of all that, PowerPoint isn’t my best skill.

Carrying three plates on each arm? Piece of cake.

Selecting a nice bottle of Sangiovese or Chenin Blanc to complement your mahi mahi? Bring it on.

Importing a document, making graphs and ensuring all fonts are nicey-nice and lined up properly? Not so much. And for some reason, I am reluctant to admit I need help.

“Okay, but if you need anything, please let me know. Don’t try to take it all on yourself. I’m here if you need me.”

“Thanks, Emma. You’ve been great.”

Emma starts to walk away when she spins back around and says “Oh!” so loud, I thought she’d hurt herself. “I forgot, it’s thirsty Thursday at Gil’s. One-dollar pitchers with a ten-dollar cover. All night long. A few of us usually go after work for dinner and a few pitchers. Join us. You can get to know some of the others.”

I internally sigh. I don’t drink much
or
make many friends. Friends just ask too many personal questions. While I’ve somewhat perfected my story, every once in a while a question comes up that I don’t have a pre-formulated answer to, and I’ll have to add another lie on top of the already hefty pile. And remember it. I’m something of a subject matter expert at winging it now. But it’s easier to just stick to my short story and stay to myself. Kamryn and Addy know I have secrets, but neither of them pry. Most others don’t take a hint so well.

“I’m going to have to work late on this Emma. It’s the first big meeting I’ve been involved in, and I don’t want to make Mr. Nichols look bad. But ask me again.” Or not. If I turn people down enough, they simply stop asking. It’s a lonely life, but one I’ve accepted. Even embraced.

“Okay. But I’m going to hold you to that, girlie.”

I simply smile as she bounces away, her girls practically slapping her in the chin.

Then I get back to work. Because if I don’t figure this shit out, and fast, I’ll not only be working late tonight, I’ll be here every single night until next Friday’s board meeting.

Then I may just end up saying yes to Gil’s thirsty Thursday dollar pitchers.

Chapter 5

“Well, fucking look harder. She’s
here
. I saw her with my own goddamned eyes.” I’m about ready to go through the phone and strangle this incompetent asshole.

“I’ll keep trying,” Burt sputters.

“She has to have a goddamned driver’s license, Burt.”

“No, sir. She has an expired license from Michigan.”

Fuck.

“Did you try the guest list from the fundraiser? She was there, so she had to have purchased a ticket.” Once again, she’d just vanished. Like fog. One minute, there and the next…gone.

“I already did that. There was no Livia Kingsley on the guest list. Is it possible she changed her last name?”

Was
that possible? I’d been so struck with both shock and relief at seeing her alive that I didn’t even check her left hand for a ring. The thought of another man touching what was mine made me feel murderous. The thought that she would
let
another man touch her made me violently ill.

Yes, I know I'm a goddamn hypocrite.

“I don’t know. I suppose it’s possible. Get me the security footage of the fundraiser. She was with a woman that night. If we can identify her, then we can track Livvy down.” I should have cornered that woman after Livvy ran, but she spent the rest of the night attached at the hip to a wealthy man I’d recognized from other events. And he looked like he’d take out anyone who came near the beautiful blonde.

“On it. It will take a few days and probably some Benjamins.”

“I don’t fucking care what it costs. You get me that goddamn tape and you track down this blonde friend of hers or I assure you, you will never work in this city again. It cannot be that hard to find one woman. Jesus!”

“Yes, sir.”

I slam down the phone just as Ash walks through my door, but my thoughts are distracted by the news that Livvy’s father died three years ago from pancreatic cancer, and the house that was once his now belongs to a young married couple with a baby on the way. I’ve tried Livvy’s sister, Alyse, twice with no return phone call. I’m about ready to get into my car and drive to Detroit to track her down and make her tell me where Livvy is.

“Looks like a week hasn’t improved your mood any,” he says as he saunters in uninvited and flops in the chair across from my desk.

“Did we have a meeting?” I snip.

“Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on with you, Gray? You’ve been a class A prick for the last three weeks.”

I lean back in my black leather desk chair just as Conn pops his head in. “Am I late?” he asks. He glides in and shuts the door behind him.

I take a quick look at my daily calendar and see I have a meeting scheduled with Jake Campbell, the CEO of HMT Enterprises right now. “As much as I’d love to sit and gossip about my feelings and shit, I have a meeting with Jake right now.”

Conn grabs the other free chair across from my desk and takes a seat, getting comfortable like it’s a fucking barbecue and I should hand him a beer. “No, you don’t. I had Bonnie put that on there because I knew you wouldn’t take a meeting with us since you’ve been avoiding both of us all week.”

Fuckers. He was right, but still. My temper flares.

“What is this? Some sort of goddamn intervention?” I spit. I love my younger brothers deeply, but they can be a pain in the ass sometimes. They constantly stick their noses in my personal business.

When Livvy first disappeared, my brothers were my rocks. Hell, Ash nearly single-handedly pulled me back from the brink of self-destruction when I was drinking myself to death. Or
trying
to.

After a year dragged by, they each tried their hand at setting me up on blind dates in hopes that I would move on, but I shut that shit down right quick. Ash’s taste in women runs a little edgier than I like, and Conn runs through them faster than a high-speed paper shredder. God knows his dick had probably been in half the women he tried setting me up with. After the countless women I’d fucked in my drunken stupor that I didn’t even remember, I was now more selective about who I spent my limited time with.